Folken Fanel's Fanfiction Competition

Your own tale of two mecha.

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lalahsghost

Folken Fanel's Fanfiction Competition

Post by lalahsghost » Sat Jun 02, 2007 4:10 am

Fanfiction Competition!

Welcome one and all to the first Mecha Talk fan fiction competition. We hope this is going to be a great opportunity for everyone to show off their skills. Below are two scenarios with options for either the Earth Federation or the Principality of Zeon. You can choose just one Scenario and then just one faction for your piece. You are provided with a location, a quick outline of the terrain, a brief description of the setting, and a mobile suit team of four machines. Your goal is to take this information and turn it into a short standalone piece of fan fiction. .

Since this is going to be a test of your writing ability your mobile suit team must be in the form of original characters. The mobile suits can be equipped with any of their standard equipment and weapons, as stated on their MAHQ profiles, however please keep it realistic for example you can't have a Ground Type Gundam armed with a machine gun, beam rifle, 180mm Cannon and a bazooka gun because it just can't carry them all normally.

While each scenario has options for the Federation and Zeon you are not limited to using the opposing selection for the enemies in your piece. For example if in Scenario A you pick the Federation you don't have to fight the Zeon team specified in the Scenario. You can, if you wish, have an entire army of enemy mobile suits attack your chosen team. However once again we ask for you to be realistic in the make up of the enemy your team faces. It isn't likely that Char Aznable or Amuro Ray will pop up and battle your team.

You can write your piece in whatever way you like. It can be a serious action packed battle, a deep character introspective or maybe a surreal Pythonesk comedy however we ask that it be no more than 2000 words long. This is to give all comers a chance to get involved. Also remember, only one entry per user.

A winner will be chosen by a poll opened after the contest has ended.

Here are the scenarios and teams for you to choose from:

Scenario A:

One Year War

Location: The Sahara Desert
Terrain: Hamada (barren, rocky plateau )
Description: Following the successful Battle of Odessa the Federation Forces pushed into Africa driving back Zeon forces. During an offensive in the Sahara Desert a mobile suit team gets separated from their comrades and stumble into their enemy....

Choose Either:

Earth Federation Forces:

1 x RX-79[G] Ground Type Gundam
2 x RGM-79SP Desert GM
1 x RGC-80 GM Cannon

Or

Principality of Zeon:

1 x MS-09G Dowadge
2 x MS-06D Desert Zaku
1 x MS-06K Zaku Cannon


Scenario B:

One Year War

Location: The Corregidor Shoal Zone
Terrain: Mixture of large and small colony debris.
Description: As the titanic battle between the Federation and Zeon reaches its climax the Corregidor Shoal Zone near Side 3 becomes a battle ground. Both sides send forces into this maze of twisted metal to hunt down their enemies....

Choose Either:

Earth Federation Forces:

1 x RGM-79SP GM Sniper II
2 x RGM-79GS GM Command (GS Type)
1 x RX-77 Guncannon Mass Produced Type

OR

Principality of Zeon:

1 x MS-14B Gelgoog High Mobility
2 x MS-14A Gelgoog
1 x MS-14C Gelgoog Cannon

There you are then. Remember you can pick just one scenario and just one faction. So get writing and good luck!

Your Very Own Folken Fanel Will be the Host/Judge!

All submissions must be in before July 1st.

Prize? Your fanfiction/personal thread will be Stickied for six months, possibly increasing posts/views by 100/10000, respectively.* (results stated were an example of folken's previously stickied MD&F thread)

Antares
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Post by Antares » Wed Jun 13, 2007 3:52 am

Um. Please don't stone me for this request. :wink: Would it be possible to add a CE scenario? My technical knowledge as well as accurate historical memory of UC is do dodgy that I fear I might totally wreck any believability of the story. I have looked into CE more so I would feel more confident about writing in a CE setting. Other than that, the type of scenarios and factions listed seem like a good idea to write on.
-We will not be caught by surprise!
*Almost everyone I've killed uttered similar last words.
-Then I am glad once again that you are on my side.
*They've often said that too.

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Post by Wild Wing » Wed Jun 13, 2007 5:07 am

Oh come off it

They have given you what they wanted to so you should adapt, this is a test of your writing skill which shows you can be creative in any situation so your just gonna have to lump it

Also, there is enough help for you in terms of knowledge on the MAHQ website
See, Lunamaria? Stop the dillying, and the dallying will soon follow. It’s a good lesson for you to learn regarding children. It’ll be useful after the war when you and Shinn get married and adopt me.

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Post by Folken Fanel » Wed Jun 13, 2007 1:39 pm

Wild Wing, I will not tolerate disrespect towards a fellow member. Antares asked a question I'm sure many of the other members had on their minds. Watch it.
Um. Please don't stone me for this request. Would it be possible to add a CE scenario? My technical knowledge as well as accurate historical memory of UC is do dodgy that I fear I might totally wreck any believability of the story. I have looked into CE more so I would feel more confident about writing in a CE setting. Other than that, the type of scenarios and factions listed seem like a good idea to write on.
I'm sure you're not the only one with something like this on your mind. However, this is a UC competition, so no CE. I am going to push for a CE theme for the next contest, so don't worry.
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Post by Antares » Wed Jun 13, 2007 3:51 pm

Folken Fanel said:
I'm sure you're not the only one with something like this on your mind. However, this is a UC competition, so no CE. I am going to push for a CE theme for the next contest, so don't worry.
Thanks. That pretty much answered my question. :) No need for special service, if it is an UC setting fic-contest then so be it. UC will do fine.. I think. :D You won't mind if I slightly change the terrain though? I've got a canyon scenario in my head right now, so does it have to be strictly a plateau (its edge maybe)?
-We will not be caught by surprise!
*Almost everyone I've killed uttered similar last words.
-Then I am glad once again that you are on my side.
*They've often said that too.

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Post by Folken Fanel » Wed Jun 13, 2007 4:12 pm

I'll allow either the edge of a plateau, or it can be set in a canyon that runs through the plateau(is that even possible?).
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Post by Wild Wing » Thu Jun 14, 2007 4:57 am

Folken Fanel wrote:Wild Wing, I will not tolerate disrespect towards a fellow member. Antares asked a question I'm sure many of the other members had on their minds. Watch it.
Awww sorry I just thought it was a gimmie since you didn't give the option...Meant no harm :oops:
See, Lunamaria? Stop the dillying, and the dallying will soon follow. It’s a good lesson for you to learn regarding children. It’ll be useful after the war when you and Shinn get married and adopt me.

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Post by wing zero alpha » Thu Jun 14, 2007 5:43 am

Corregidor is the Side 5 Shoal Zone, right?

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Post by Pegasus » Thu Jun 14, 2007 1:29 pm

wing zero alpha wrote:Corregidor is the Side 5 Shoal Zone, right?
The Corregidor shoal zone is located near Side 3. As such the Principality used this shoal zone for testing everything from the Ace Corps to the Psycommu System Zaku.
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Post by Antares » Sun Jun 24, 2007 5:17 am

To get the ball rolling, here is my entry:

Desert Brawl

[The desert sun is scorching the cloudless blue sky. Underneath it the the Sahara Desert is seemingly endless. A rocky plateau marks the landscape as a solitary item of interest the eye can fixate on. Drawing the eye in, the plateau grows larger. Its edge is marked with several deep crevasses, some as large as actual canyons. And it is in one of these canyons that we find a most peculiar battlefield. The canyon ends in a round bend, wide on both sides and littered with fallen rock. After the battle of Odessa, the Federation Forces pushed into Africa driving back Zeon forces. Seeing a small detachment of Zeon MSs stumble into the canyon in the hopes of riding out the offensive, a captain of a Federation MS company had separated a small squad to go in and annihilate the cowardly Zeeks. Overly confident, the Feddies had walked into the ambush the opportunistic Zeon commander had set up. In the ensuing firefight the Feddies lost both of their Desert GMs and their GM Cannon was damaged. Only the RX-79[G] Gundam was left in full operational capacity. However, the Zeons lost their commander to a lucky shot into the cockpit by one of the downed Desert GMs. One Feddie pilot of the Desert GM has scrambled over to the impromptu rocky barricade his comrades had formed, leaving the Feddies with two MSs and three pilots, while the Zeons still had two MS-06D Desert Zakus and a MS-06K Zaku Cannon. Both sides realized that trying to flee the scene through the bottleneck of the canyon would be suicide. They could only escape with the opposition dead. The Zeons were starting to get nervous due to lack of water and loss of radio contact with their forces.]

MS-06K pilot: [panting] We’ve been here for two days now. I haven’t had a drop of water since this morning.

MS-06D pilot#1: Shut it, Derrick. It doesn’t help when you remind us about it all the time.

[The devastating effect of the loss of their commander becomes more acute in these desperate straits with little water, trapped behind enemy lines in the desert. On the other side of the canyon end the Federation pilots also converse. The pilot of the Gundam is sitting at the open hatch of his MS, feet tangling over the edge. The pilot of the GM Cannon is using a field repair kit to fix the damaged ankle of his MS. He can do little about the shaft of steel that went into the main optical sensors, though. The aiming computer of the GM Cannon is pretty much useless. The surviving GM pilot fans himself with his hand in the shadow of the kneeling Gundam.]

Gundam pilot: I still have some water in the tanks. The GMs are so riddled that theirs has probably leaked and evaporated by now.

GM Cannon pilot: [grins wolfishly] I bet those Zeeks are feeling the thirst a bit more acutely than we are.

Gundam pilot: Losing their commander was the only stroke of luck we had. They’ve been completely defensive ever since.

GM pilot: [to the Gundam pilot] Thomas, you got any ideas?

Thomas: [furrows his brow] The beam rifle will overheat in an instance in these conditions. Damn, I knew I should taken some old fashioned hardware. Now we can only wait a little longer and see if the Zeeks do something stupid. [leans down, to the pilot of the Cannon] Reilly! How is it going?

Reilly: [grunts] I can move the thing but I can’t aim worth crap, sir.

GM pilot: [yawns, the heat making him drowsy] Not that it would make in difference with your accuracy.

Thomas: Reilly and Ohlbert, can that attitude right now!

[Admonished, the two pilots go into a sullen silence. Shouting brings a bit of a sweat on Thomas’s face, and he squint up at the merciless sun, as if laughing at his demands for cooler heads to prevail. Thomas scowls down at the other end of the canyon, where the Zeeks are pricking their ears to hear more of the altercation.]

Derrick: I didn’t catch that. [to Zaku pilot#1] Howie?

Howie: No. It echoes too much in here. [wipes sweat from his brow, leaving a smudge of dirt] God it is hot.

Derrick: Why isn’t Halpern coming out of his MS? The thing must be like an oven.

Howie: He said he has to stand guard if the Feddies try something.

Derrick: He has been in there for hours. If the Feddies make a move we can hear them before we see them.

Howie: [shrugs] That’s what he said.

[Inside his Desert Zaku, Halpern is licking his chapped lips.]

Halpern: Can’t sleep or the Feddies will kill me. They killed my dad. They killed my brother at Odessa. They’ll kill me too if I let them. I have to kill them. Kill them before they kill me.

[The eye sensor of the Zaku moves with a mechanic sound, and Howie and Derrick look at it curiously.]

Howie: [cups his hands in front of his mouth] Hey Halpern! What’re you doing, man?

[As a muted response, Halpern’s Zaku picks up its machine gun from the sand and stands up, its backpack giving a rising whine.]

Derrick: Holy crap, he is taking off!

[Howie and Derrick both scramble inside their cockpits, closing the hatches and activating their systems, left offline to cool their suits during the day. They are hopelessly behind Halpern, whose suit is up and ready. The boosters give a short burst and the Zaku clears the barricade of boulders and opens fire right away with its machine gun, complementing fire with its head-mounted vulcans. The first bullets hit the Feddies’ stone cover as the Zaku hasn’t cleared enough height. The Feddies are surprised, but quick to react. Ohlbert looks around himself in sudden fear, realizing he is the only one not protected by armor as Reilly’s adrenaline-rush propels him to jump within seconds through the hatch of his kneeling GM Cannon. Thomas flips onto his feet, and leaps into his cockpit, activating the systems that have only been in sleep-mode. The eyes of the Gundam flash as the systems are activated, and the Gundam has just enough time to pick up the shield from the ground and hold it up against the impacting machine gun rounds. Ohlbert scrambles into a small hole between the rocks of their barricade and crawls in. The constant fire is making the airborne Zaku fall to the side, but Halpern could care little less, having fixated on the Gundam and emptying the clip in the obsessed hope that the shield will break. The rounds do also scrape the Gundam everywhere around the shield, riddling the right leg in particular. Thomas doesn’t much care for that, being more interested in keeping his cockpit and the sensors of his Gundam intact. Halpern depletes his current clip, and reaches for a new one. Using this moment of respite, Thomas now also picks up the beam rifle, thankfully unharmed, and aims it at the airborne Zaku. A single beam round smashes to the side of the Zaku, clipping it so bad that the suit turns face down, and the jet pack propels the Zaku right into the rockface of the canyon with a metallic crunch. The Zaku rolls down the wall and lands in a heap of metal at its foot. Thomas gives a short breath of relief, but is immediately informed that the right leg of his Gundam is broken and cannot sustain weight. The best it can do right now is to keep the MS upright in its kneeling position.]

Thomas: Reilly! You need to counter them right away! Make them lose courage!

Reilly: [over the radio] I’ll try!

[The GM Cannon stands up straight only to see the Zaku Cannon stand up as well behind its own barricade, and the remaining Desert Zaku boost over the barricade for a running attack at the Feddies, machine gun already spewing bullets. Seeing as the Gundam cannot be of any help, Reilly chews on his bottom lip for a second before pushing his GM Cannon up and over the barricade. Without an accurate targeting computer, Reilly has little chance other than bring the GM into close distance. The Zaku Cannon unwittingly does the GM Cannon a favor by blowing a piece of the barricade off with a cannon round, making the GM Cannon stumble down and causing the Zaku to overshoot with its machine gun. In the Zaku’s cockpit Howie shifts his aim lower, intent on the target. A flash in the corner of his eye makes his come to a screeching halt and dodge to the side however, as a beam saber flies spinning past. The Gundam is leaning on the barricade, standing on one foot, and threw one of its beam sabers directly from the rack at the Zaku. Derrick in the controls of the Zaku Cannon switches immediately to target the Gundam, which uses its beam rifle quicker to force the Zaku Cannon to dodge behind the barricade. Slightly disoriented, Howie also turns his attention to the Zaku. Blind to most of this, the GM Cannon scrambles to its feet, Reilly only seeing the fuzzy side-profile of the Desert Zaku in front of it. The movement is caught by Howie, who turns his Zaku around, the machine gun tracing bullets around the GM, up until the moment the barrel of the GM’s cannon clangs against the Zaku’s chest armor.]

Reilly: [smirks] Found you.

[The devastating cannon of the GM fires at close range, peeling the barrel of the cannon like a banana, but also in effect blowing the upper torso of the Zaku into bits. The GM stumbles to the ground again, systems short-circuiting. Derrick in the Zaku Cannon realizes he is alone now, and cries out in fear and frustration, and shoots randomly with all weapons of the Cannon in the general direction of the two Feddie MSs. A cannon shot cracks the barricade next to the Gundam, causing the rocks to move from under its supporting arm. Thomas tries to compensate, but ends up tilting the Gundam over, and it falls on its back, albeit in the relative cover of the barricade. But then the two rockets the Zaku Cannon launches screech out and hit the rockface above the Gundam, and a single huge boulder detaches itself and falls down. Thomas can see the rock come in, and tries to get the hands up in defense, but in vain. The boulder crashes down on the head and upper torso of the Gundam, smashing the cockpit in and killing the pilot. The Zaku Cannon keeps on firing at the Gundam, not knowing that it is down for good already. Reilly drags his GM Cannon on one side, and grabs a machine gun dropped by one of the GM Desert types previously downed. He takes aim and fires. The holes drill themselves around, and finally into, the Zaku Cannon. Quietly the Zaku Cannon topples forward and then blows up as its remaining ammunition detonates. The walls of the canyon are filled with small screes of sliding pebbles, and dust momentarily blocks visibility. The GM Cannon remains barely upright on its side, Reilly waiting breathlessly for any other noises. A short burst of machine gun fire is heard and blood splatters the side of the cockpit. Halperns’s near-demolished Zaku lets its machine gun barrel sink into the sand. In the cockpit Halpern coughs blood to his chest, and cackles.]

Halpern: Got you. You never got me.

[Halpern gives his death rattle and expires. For a good half an hour the canyon is deadly silent. Only then Ohlbert crawls out from under the rocks, and surveys the area. He is startled suddenly by a thought, and he sprints over to each downed MS. From the Gundam he straightens up, and sobs, barely audibly. All the water is gone. All the MS are down. There is no way he can hope to make it back to his own forces alive unless someone stumbles on this forgotten, forlorn battleground. Ohlbert slumps down on the sand. The sun is very hot today.]

--
@ Folken: Word said this text includes 2036 words. I hope this is acceptable. This is shorter version as it is from the original which was a tad longer. PM me if I need to edit it further.
-We will not be caught by surprise!
*Almost everyone I've killed uttered similar last words.
-Then I am glad once again that you are on my side.
*They've often said that too.

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Post by Tatihc » Tue Jun 26, 2007 2:12 am

BAD DAY

Striding in what can only be described as a foresaken hunk of dotted-cheese metal the Federation calls a GM, Mrozcek continues to follow his comrades, a bit dazed and hungover from last nights festivities, after victory at Odessa.
"I told ya not to drink so much" yelled Steven over the comm speaker, realising his friend and comrade is lagging behind.
The bullet-holed GM was only a speck of rusty yet shiny metal on Steven’s moniter.
"I didn't drink that much my dear friend" Mrozcek hicked over the speakers, as his GM dragged itself through the blistering hot sands of the Sahara.
Appalled by his friends’ ZOINKS defiance, Steve reached for his speakers again. "Oh yeah? Then who was it I saw last night slumped against the wall with a bottle of Vodka?"
"That wasn't me!" Protested the half-aware private, the other half of him being hung-over of course "I was the guy next to him...with two bottles of vodka"
Mrozcek halted his unit just stretch his legs and arms, followed by a yawn which should have been more associated bolvine cow.
"Why on Earth, are we up so early?" yawn the drunkard
"Because the sun won’t be out and it'll be too hot too continue during midday" replied the duty-focused comrade
"What are we doing out here?" said Mrozcek now flipping through a gentlemen magazine.
"To scout ahead of our regiment, for any remaining Zeon forces and to find out what happened to the four units the commander sent a few days ago" responded the drunks’ friend, slightly irritated that his friend didn't listen to the Lt. that cold morning.
"How long do we have to do this oh-so-boring task" Mrozcek asked after his friends 2nd answer
"Until we get to our outpost tomorrow evening" said Steven over a near broken speaker phone, over whelmingly annoyed by the Polish lack of duty, focus, concentration and.. and all yammering he's drill instructor once said to them back at boot camp.
"Ok then" said the now slightly sober man "when do we get to stop and eat...."
"Oh good grief man! SHUT UP DAMN IT! Just shut up. shut up, shut up, you piece of..." Screamed the infuriated Ensign, breaking his speaker phone. Now he'll have to get another one later, again.

Utter silence for the next two hours as they stop at a canyon to let themselves and more importantly the GM’s cool down and rest. With no other shelter from the sandstorms, they took an early midday stop at the canyon which, to the bewilderment of even Mrozcek, displayed evidence of a battle not so long ago, with bullets riddling the tall walls of the red rock canyon. Playing on his PSP, Mrozcek decided to converse with his ensign friend.” Look buddy just because you didn’t get any, or for that matter haven’t got any, while I had a wild night with the local pretties, doesn’t mean you shouldn’t be angry” said Mrozcek feeling charitable “How about I get you a nice Saharan lady for you when we finish our sortie in this cursed desert?”
Finishing his chicken teriyaki meal (although he suspect its something less ideal for a meal) Steve reached for a bottle of water “Shut up, I’m fine getting a woman into my sleeping bag”
“So says the virgin to the pimping love doctor of the 47th regiment” alleged the 'doctor'.

As the sandstorm continued over their heads, heavy rasping sounds could be heard, but both concluded it was the wind, as they converse about inconsequential matters.
”Hey Steve what do you think of that new song by TM Revolution?” Inquired Mrozcek emptying Steve another glass of vodka, before throwing it aside with the other drinks they quenched their thirst on before.
“Nah I think its over-rated, I mean just because all his songs are used in some anime-mecha franchise, doesn’t necessarily mean” His relaxed mood was broken by a rasping sound.
”what was that?” Steve inquired, twisting his head back as he switch from the glass of vodka to a bottle of water. They should really stop drinking; otherwise they’ll run out by tomorrow afternoon. Aware of the same odd and suspicious feeling, Mrozcek reached for his pistol
“Someone’s here” Stated the private, his laid back attitude subsiding.
“Oh really sunshine?” rebutted Steven reaching for his shotgun, he hates moments like these.
They stood there for whole minute as their suspicions was becomes confirmed as a rasping sound become more audible by the second, followed by footsteps. The tension rose to point that….
“To hell with this!” panicked the pilots as they let their firearms roar through the canyon at a rock Emptying their clips they reached for their magazines when the stranger sprang from the rock, although the stranger was already classified as a madman within the minds of the young pilots
“Water, Water!” Rasped the man, to the surprise and dismay of the pilots, as they recognize the man as a Federation Pilot.
“Whoa what the hell?!” As Steven unknowingly hands over the bottle he was holding to the man whose thirst seemed to have gained its own persona and life. Staring at the man gorging and drinking his way through the supply Mrozcek tapped Steven on the shoulder.
"I think we should ditch him"
"What? Are you retarded? We can't do that “retorted Steve, never the one to not help those in need
"Well guess what? We’ll be deprived of food & water if we let this camel continue its gluttony" Responded the Polish. He was about to say something else when the federation pilot interrupted.
"Isn't Gluttony that fat-ass from the anime FMA?"

They stared at the man for a silent 10 seconds before Mrozcek took a back step.
“Oooook….I’ll let you handle this one buddy” As Mrozcek enters his GM, unsure of what to make of the situation, but promptly decided to go back to his gentlemen magazine. Steven blinked as he raised his hand to his confused head.
“Wh-what? Ummm ah hmmm” Rubbing his frowned eyebrows Steve try think of something appropriate to say in the awkward situation, ensued by the newly acquainted comrade. The pilot finally noticed the situation he has caused and decided best if he started things off.
“The names Ohlbert, pilot of the 47th regiment forward advance team” Introduced Ohlbert restraining himself from consuming anymore water, well aware of its value in this unforgiving terrain.

Steven was stunned by Ohlberts introduciton, as the man was part of the team the commander sent a few days ago. So where were the rest of them Steve asked himself.
"We were chasing down the remainder Zeonic forces, when we were ambushed by them" Ohlbert informed Steve, as he spoke of how neither side could have left without elimanating the other.
"Ok WTF dude you could've walk out the way you came" Burst Steve unable to comprehend the Advance teams’ logic.
"Well because, because we each wanted boost our kill count...or said my captain before dying" answered Ohlbert now physically and mentally better with some food and water in him. Steven on the other hand could only sigh in response, as the sandstorm dissipates before continuing the conversation.
"Ok whatever, now we leave this canyon you can sit behind me in my GM"
Although Steven noticed Ohlbert was looking at Mrozcek's cheese-holed GM, before turning to Steven.
"Did you guys get attack on the way here?"
"Actually no, Retarded Jack-Ass in there was drunk last night, when he got into the GM and started shooting himself complaining the MS needed more air vents" Ohlbert was quick to make some pre-cautions.
“Hey Steven, you got a flak jacket I could wear” Ohlbert paused “and can I sit in front instead?”
“Yes you can wear my flak jacket but you aren’t gonna pilot the GM if that’s what your asking” Shouted Steve as he went to get the jacket.
“No I meant in front while you pilot” Confused Steve twisted his head back
“Why?” raising an eyebrow
“Because I want to be right in front of the hatch when your GM bites it, whether because of Zakus or your friend, I want to be able to pole-vault my ass out” said Ohlbert, walking with Steve to his GM. Steve couldn’t help but agree with one particular point stated by the man.






NOTE: Be sure to regularly comeback for updates on my story and other entrants
Last edited by Tatihc on Wed Jun 27, 2007 8:16 am, edited 2 times in total.

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wing zero alpha
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Post by wing zero alpha » Tue Jun 26, 2007 10:09 pm

My entry. I didn't want to go through the painful process of posting and editting it for the board's settings (ie, Italicizing letters, paragraph spacing), so I just posted it on Fanfiction.net.

Hope nobody minds.

As well, I admit it's well more than 2000 words; reason for that is I didn't see that part of the conditions until the story was finished. I hope this doesn't put anybody off.
Last edited by wing zero alpha on Wed Jun 27, 2007 3:04 am, edited 3 times in total.

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Post by swordoath » Tue Jun 26, 2007 11:38 pm

I have also made an entry. I'm working on a bit of fiction that'll get posted up soon -- so don't be alarmed if you can't find my Fanfic thread just yet. It's on the way.

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Post by Antares » Wed Jun 27, 2007 5:35 am

Ohlbert informed Steve, as he spoke of how neither side could have left without elimanating the other.
"Ok WTF dude you could've walk out the way you came" Bursted Steve unable to comprehend the Advance teams logic.
I take this as a compliment. :D Although, the reason why they couldn't walk out the way they came was that the canyon would've been a bottleneck for a the retreating party to flee through; their battlefield was the end of the canyon which was wider.
Still, a rather good entry, I thought. :) I almost thought no one else would bother.

EDIT: Now that there are more entries, are we supposed to/allowed to comment on each others' work or is that seen as shameless self-promotion? :wink:
-We will not be caught by surprise!
*Almost everyone I've killed uttered similar last words.
-Then I am glad once again that you are on my side.
*They've often said that too.

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Post by Tatihc » Wed Jun 27, 2007 7:44 am

^haha must've been quite a surprise for ya, yeh yours was good really gave the reader an idea on what was happening particularly during the battle, although same goes for the others. Only trouble with yours was figuring out the terrain as evidenced.

btw the reason i wanted to base my story around your story was because i couldn't think what the situation should be and thought it be interesting to somewhat continue your story in a more humorous style.

and now i must go back to brainstorming the continuation of my story (whens the deadline?)

Antares
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Post by Antares » Wed Jun 27, 2007 9:10 am

It says All submissions must be in before July 1st.
That suggests that the last day to enter would be the last day of June, i.e., this Saturday.
Only trouble with yours was figuring out the terrain as evidenced.
I blame the word-limit. :D And I don't mind that at all, I am actually quite flattered, as I said, if you want to continue my story. :)
-We will not be caught by surprise!
*Almost everyone I've killed uttered similar last words.
-Then I am glad once again that you are on my side.
*They've often said that too.

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Cardi Doorl
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Post by Cardi Doorl » Fri Jun 29, 2007 1:33 am

So Far from Antarctica

Ensign Algo Etwa

Blown clear from my Zaku. How long was I out? Sun's high. Must've been at least five.

Christ it hurts. I try moving my arms, my legs. Dear Lord. My jaw clenches on its own when I look up. I hate Earth weather.

There's my Zaku, the one with the cannon. It had a cannon. It was a Zaku. A heap now, its side driven into the tough ground of wherever the hell I am. Where was it? Sudan? Ethiopia? Algeria? Some terrestrial hellhole. I bet the natives hate themselves. I hate myself.

Little Zacky's left leg's long lost. Heh. The whole machine's on its side like it's breaching out the soil like some of those whales do out the ocean.

My arms, my legs, they remind me that they're hurting and don't work. I drop my head, the thud like a hoof on stone. Why do I know how that sounds? I don't think I've ever heard a hoof on stone, but I know how it sounds.

Now I hate my arms, my legs. I hate my Zaku that's now a whale. Why am I laughing? It just makes me cough. I been laying here in the desert sun for maybe five hours with nothing to drink, so Dear Lord does coughing hurt. Rough rags being dragged around inside my chest, up through my lungs and shot out my mouth. I guess that's why they call it "ragged".

I'm squinting. Swear the Sun Swear the Sun Swear...

Swear the Sun's getting brighter on its own accord. I'm squinting. Why did I say that to her? She was obsessed with me, wasn't she? And I blew it. She was pretty, too. Now she'll never see me as anything more than a friend.

Where is everyone? I want to look around. It's quiet, too quiet. Are they waiting? Waiting for the right moment? I'm right here, Feds. I can't move or nothing. Just finish the job already.

They were so fast. Planes and tanks everywhere. Ens. Pelko screaming like the b**ch he is. What happened to them? The veterans always talked about battles being just a blur. Guess they knew what they were talking about. Hell, what happened to me? Just doing my thing, lobbing shells, then I'm here in the dirt. Must be a good 200 meters from what's left of the cockpit. Coughing again. Dear Lord it hurts. I hate the coughing. I think I'll just let down my head and wait to die. It'll happen. This is how I'll die.

Oh God I'm going to die. Oh God God God oh God oh God

I didn't have to be such a d**k to Ens. Lornis, but that a**hole Lt. Farsel in his stupid magical floating mobile suit deserved everything and anything and everything he got and maybe 30% more. I'd daresay 40%. My only regret is that I didn't kill the f***face myself.

Okay I have more regrets than that.

I think it's been an hour since I woke up. Holy Christ I'm really going to die here aren't I? Dear Lord. I was never religious to speak of, but sometimes

I'm going to die here like this. There's no other way. Everyone forgot about me. Just another Zeke bit the dust, they'll think. Nothing to see here. Hope the bastard suffered. Hope he had a wife to widow, children to orphan. Gihren's boys.

Okay I have plenty to regret.

She was in love with me no she was infatuated that's more accurate. A dumb girl who thought I was a godd*mn hero. Then I had to say that stuff and do those things and I died in her eyes. When did I die in your eyes? How long have I been dead? Whenever it was, we'll belatedly rubber-stamp it out here in wherever I am. Sudan? Ethiopia? Algeria or something? Don't bother trying to remember. My arms, my legs. Ragged.

Just me and what's left of that hate machine. All there is to see. The tans and their total victory.

Everything I did was so stupid. My life a litany of failure. The harder I'd swing, the harder I'd fail. I can take a hint. Time to give up. For a change. I'll lay down and fall back to sleep. Why does it always come to this? Because it's the best solution. The only solution. I believe in Fate.

Heavy eyelids. Maybe I can fall asleep in excruciating pain.

-

Where am I?

My arms, my legs. Breaching Zaku whale. Rags. Litany of failure. I give up. Right. Got it. I'm still here, sans the sun, swear the sun. Fell asleep I guess? Wonder how many times I've done this without remembering. Maybe I've been here a week.

Pilot suit's sticking to me. Sweating like nothing else. Why did I wear this? I wish my arms worked, just so I could open the visor.

I was always so old. Just 23 and I felt like an old man for most my life. Just let it go by, easy come easy go. I'm a f***ing coward, that's what I am. Cowards take things for granted.

Thud. Thud. Thud. Soft thuds. I'd never heard the sound before but I knew they were footsteps on the soil of wherever the hell I am. Someone's coming. I can't turn my head that direction. Now he's there where I can just see him, not quite between me and the metal cyclops whale in its ocean of dirt. How come keeping my eyelids open takes all my energy?

Some guy. He freezes right when he looks me in the face, I think. I see him. Fed uniform. Infantry. Got his rifle slung over his shoulder. Some Nguyen picked up from his little peninsula and tossed over to Sudan? Ethiopia? Algeria? I hate how he looks at me like I'm the most horrible- Stop looking at me and do something.

I'll say something, then: "Water". First thing that came to my mind. Croaked out lifelessly through parchment lips. The Fed walks towards me, taking down the rifle and holding it, but not pointing it anywhere. Still has that damn look on his face. I hate him.

"Medic." The word came out on its own. It forced past my lips. How do I know I'm still alive? This is how I'm going to die; waiting for this dumb kid to do something other than stare at me.

"Med-" I start, but the second part gets interrupted when I cough. It's a big cough. All the rags come out of me. Now I can barely see, since my helmet's insides're covered in rags. "Water," I say.

I can barely see, but he's just looking at me still. I can barely see him just standing there. Like he wasn't listening to me. Like he hadn't even heard

* * *

Private 1st Class Trang Hai Bui

The silence was deafening in a way the rifle's report never could be. This silence rushed in on the young private as the echoes died away into the dim evening. The silence would remain in his soul for the rest of his born days.

A red-haired private, a greenhorn no older than 19 years, dashed over to his friendly acquaintance. Trang couldn't take his eyes off the Zeke's mind, scattered and glistening dully in the fast-fading sunlight. The red-haired private was in hysterics, all up in arms about the Antarctic Treaty or somesuch. Trang didn't notice; his mind, body, and soul were transfixed on what he'd done. The man everyone had assumed was already dead, but his eyes... The Zeon's green uniform had splotches of rusty red from the old blood all over. The rest of the men, all combat veterans, regarded the scene with no more than a passing glance as they marched on.

The red-haired kid's fit attracted the attention of Sgt. Stowe, who they say fought every inch of the Europe fight from day one. The grizzly, heavy-framed man lumbered over to the young greenhorns and, before he could demand an explanation, was tumbled over as the red-haired private redirected his avalanche of indignance toward him.

"Listen kid," cut in Stowe, "Trang was doing the poor bastard a favor. He was gonna die, so why let him suffer?"

The red-haired kid emphatically brought up the Antarctic Treaty.

"Kid," rumbled Stowe with cold finality, "You realize how far we are from Antarctica?"

The silence in his soul welling up like a fist inside his chest, Trang felt just how far he was from Antarctica. How far he was from home.
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Antares
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Post by Antares » Sun Jul 01, 2007 11:37 am

Now that the deadline is upon us, how soon can we expect judgment? :)

Within the next hour or so, if all goes as planned.
-We will not be caught by surprise!
*Almost everyone I've killed uttered similar last words.
-Then I am glad once again that you are on my side.
*They've often said that too.

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Post by Folken Fanel » Sun Jul 01, 2007 6:34 pm

Well, it's been a very, very hard choice, and every entry was very well written. But, not everyone can be a winner, so I'm gonna have to pick just one of you.

Drum roll please!!!!!!!

First Place: Cardi Doorl for "So Far From Antarctica"

Honorable Mention: Antares for "Desert Brawl"

Unfortunately, Cardi doesn't seem to have a Fanfiction thread, so I'm gonna have to give the prize to Antares' thread. That is, if Cardi doesn't post a Fanfiction topic in the next 24 hours.
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Tatihc
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Post by Tatihc » Sun Jul 01, 2007 8:56 pm

Haha i doubt mine was that good, i didn't finish it. Oh well perhaps i'll copy it, finish it and post its own thread.

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