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Strike Zero
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Re: Seraphic's Section - 20k views?! 12.13.10

Seraphic wrote:Stance 1
I hope you'll forgive me for stating problems right off the bat, but right now I have to point out that the first impression I got was that she was pointing her guns down at her feet. =P Then I looked more carefully and thought that maybe she was pointing them down at somebody else's feet. If neither of those were what you were going for, I'm deeply sorry. =(

It's the way you've drawn the guns. I'm certain you already know all about One-Point perspective, so I won't bother boring you with an explaination. I'll just say that whenever something on the paper is supposed to be pointing towards us, the viewer, the near end of that something should appear somewhat wider than the far end. For Strayed, both the tips and the backs of the guns are the same width, so they appear to be pointing downward rather than straight.

Then again, if that's what you were going for, well... oops. =P

Other than that, I really like all of the detail on her suit. It all meshes together really nicely.

Looking foward to the next batch of sketches. =)
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Seraphic
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Re: Seraphic's Section - 20k views?! 12.13.10

Page 8, wcch!! >=o

I think adding thumbnails of different perspectives is a great idea, Crash. I'm going to start doing that, and I've drawn some for Stance 1. Here is the edited version:

http://i31.photobucket.com/albums/c353/ ... 01edit.jpg

As you can see, her guns are pointing slightly down because this is a "ready stance" and not an attack stance where she is aiming.

Strike, I didn't do much 1point perspective or exaggerate it much because I have "drawn the figure from far away". Objects mostly seem bigger in 1point because they are closer to the observer, and in these drawings, the observer is relatively far away from the figure. Especially since we can see her whole body. You actually should be able to test this out yourself. Try pointing something at yourself but moving really far from it. The width difference isn't really significant. I also think exaggerating 1point too much without need can make things look cartoony. Anyway, I'll practice that some, too.
TemjinQC wrote:Ah, I like your sketches, but they are a little too heavy handed I think. May be next time try to sketch with ball point pen, or 0.5mm, 0.7mm mechanical pencil would loosen the lines a bit.

Try out different kinds of pens and pencils, and have some fun with them. :)
Hi, Temjin. I've been meaning to comment on your works, but as you can see I don't find the time to post very often. For Stance 1 I was actually using a .5mm mechanical pencil, but it was a new pencil and the lead in it was very soft, so I had a hard time composing my lines like I normally would. I also have a tendency to tweak my proportions by widening the lines (because a heavy line looks more ambiguous than a clean line). Usually I clean it up so it looks proper, but like I said, Stance 1 was a quick and dirty sketch.

Anyway,

Stance 2

An actual combat stance with a low center to balance to help cope with recoil. I should have lowered her posture a little more. And look, my first time drawing a shadow. Looks pretty crappy, right? Did a little better with hair than I normally do....

http://i31.photobucket.com/albums/c353/ ... an0103.jpg

Wanted to challenge myself, so there's probably a large multitude of things terribly wrong with this picture. I happen to like the this drawing though. Maybe I should color this one? There's no way I'm going to do thumbnails for this pose. Too difficult. Anyway, I just wanted to show Strayed can practice more acrobatic forms of Gun Kata along with more traditional types.

I am a terrible artist. I have such a hard time just drawing simple things, you know? And I don't have much time to practice anyway. Ugh, I need to quit drawing for a while so I can study.

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tehprognoob
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Re: Seraphic's Section - when you fight it looks like a danc

eh, try to get some model to pose for you. At worst, buy one of those wooden puppet things designed to help you visualize a pose. If you don't have the money, dig up some action figure, like a Gundam model and use that as an approximate.

The guns are oversimplified
The poses are rather unnatural
On this one, the bottom of the shoe is odd.
Her body is a bit weirdly round. If she's supposed to be fat, then her fat should fold, not stay in a perfect balloon.
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Strike_Rouge_Mk2
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Re: Seraphic's Section - when you fight it looks like a danc

Hmm, I gotta say, I like the "action" poses much more than the standing ones. Those regular poses seem a bit too stiff for my liking, but mostly the one where she isn't holding guns. I think it could be how far apart her legs are.

For the action pose I think the placement of the head and face are just a smidge off, or possibly your neck sizes are larger than what I'm used to. You did a very good job on the perspective of the arms in all of the pictures, and I'm not going to bother saying anything about the guns, cause I probably couldn't do any better xD although you could try using a really soft lead type for sketching out the shapes and stuff for those before going into detailing and finalizing it, so that way the perspective on it isn't too bad. That's pretty much it for the "dance" picture and stance 1.

This one is a bit random, but I like how the shells were drawn. One weird thing I see is that there is one that is pretty huge.. I'm sure most shells don't fly in front of the gun like that xP but you sure do have the right idea and drew it correctly, despite the scale.

Sorry if I pointed out too many bad things, I'm not very good at giving critiques. :oops:
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crashlegacy14
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Re: Seraphic's Section - when you fight it looks like a danc

Yes, the guns are oversimplified, particularly the seem to lack a slide or ejection port. I don't have a problem with that since this series of drawings are more about the stance and perspective. at the same time I think it might be a good idea to do a study sketch of the guns in full detail with shells nearby for size reference.

There is something wrong with her foot in number 3, it's effectively shaped like a spike from what we see. there no arch of definition of the fore foot. in the same vein the shin of that leg looks off, but I'm not all together sure how, I think the bulge of the muscle there is much to prominent.

Most else of what Noob(feels weird to call anyone that) is saying I'm not connecting with actual problems. her body, particularly the torso lacks definition which I believe is causing Noob to interpret as her being fat or this artificial roundness he's talking about. not really sure but you could benefit by defining her structure more. this would probably also resolve noob's other issue, without the lines defining her body she comes off as very stiff.
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tehprognoob
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Re: Seraphic's Section - when you fight it looks like a danc

@Crash:
I think I know where you're coming from. The "fat" part was mainly a first impression. I think that Seraphic may have tried to overly exaggerate Jen's curves, which made her look thick. As for me, I am more a student of the Sadamoto/Hideaki Anno school of classically beautiful depictions, with a light undertone of anorexia. (Look at the Evangelion manga series.) I also dabble with Clamp's style. Thay made the Code Geass characters so you can imagine the level of painfully sharp, protuding bones and toned muscle. That artistic base really crashes (insert pun here) with Seraphic's Jen and made me feel that she was underdefined in a shapely sense.
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Strike Zero
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Re: Seraphic's Section - 20k views?! 12.13.10

That is bloody awesome. :D There are a few things that could use a little work here or there, as you said, but the pose itself is very well done -- above all else, you managed to make her mid-air position look natural, which is the most important thing to worry about when it comes to drawing... well, anything, really.
Seraphic wrote:I am a terrible artist. I have such a hard time just drawing simple things, you know? And I don't have much time to practice anyway.
Wat.

You're not giving yourself enough credit, dude. If there's one thing I've learned over the years, it's that there's nothing the least bit simple about what you've been doing -- that is to say, drawing a person in action. Finding it difficult isn't an indication of a poor artist. You've already proven that you're more than capable of producing good work -- all you gotta do, as you yourself alluded to, is keep practicing, and eventually it'll become easier.
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SolidSpidr
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Re: Seraphic's Section - when you fight it looks like a danc

Hmm, haven't posted on this board in a while.

Well I've been sitting here for a half an hour now trying to come up with something to say other than "wow, holy crap that's really good!" and well dernit that's all I can come up with. >= < I particularly like the dance, very nice and well done. I also like the facial expressions, each one is different, glad you didn't just recycle one.

Also, your one Hell of an artist, don't shoot yourself down like that! Trolling yourself won't do any good, if you really need someone to talk crap about your drawing I'm sure you could find codenamev lying around somewhere to get a healthy overdose of trolling.

Keep up the good work Sera, I'm expecting more awesome from you
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tehprognoob
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Re: Seraphic's Section - when you fight it looks like a danc

Sera, just in case you don't get what I was talking about with the fat thing, here's an example of what I would consider to be shapely and well defined. (Look under the "EDIT" part)

*/unashamedly taking your thread to advertise for mine*
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TemjinQC
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Re: Seraphic's Section - when you fight it looks like a danc

Hey Seraphic, That's alright use anything that you're comfortable with. Your drawings are cool, so just a random suggestion. :) The girl with the gun look amazing, so keep it up!
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Seraphic
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Re: Seraphic's Section - ...and then, when you least expect

Moar Jen!!

MOOOOOOAAAAAAAAARRR!!! >=o

I decided I needed a warm-up from a long period of not being able to draw, so Miss Aoki's always got my back. This is the 2nd image of a series of drawings. I'm doing the repetition for consistency, but I already see my drawing has changed a lot.... I will color this later after I finish the last 1.5 images of this series of drawings.

WIP (NSFW?? I see it as "unfinished" rather than "naked", really. You also see my new red pencil.)
WIP close-up

I guess the point is "simple is good". I made her sway her hip to the side for the hell of it. I think it looks nice, but made for some challenges in posture. And I suppose that I figured out from this drawing that anime women can look pretty weird if their pants aren't skin-tight, which kind of ruins my first drawing for me. These pants are a bit of an exaggeration since they are leather.

This drawing is also practice for folds and creases. I admit that I'm just eye-balling it and haven't done any serious study, so I know it's bad and would like some pointers. I couldn't get the creases on the back of her knees to look natural. And I know her feet are not very detailed, but I don't care. I also had a tough time with her left hand, but I gave up and left it as it is.

I'm also sure something's horrible about her posture, but it looks fine to me. The waifu says "her legs make her look like she stands like someone with down syndrome" which I cannot even begin to figure out what she is thinking, but I don't think you can hurt my feelings much more than that. She reportedly likes the drawing though. =/

Also, I'm very sorry for not responding to all the input I've gotten. I really appreciate the support. I guess I'm sensitive about my work and it's easy to upset me.

Thanks for having a look. =o
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tehprognoob
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Re: Seraphic's Section - ...and then, when you least expect

somehow, I expected just that: Jen.
You put a lot of work into her.
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Amadi Akintunde
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Re: Seraphic's Section - ...and then, when you least expect

>More Jen

whydidn'tyoutellme.jpg

You should totally draw Amadi and Jen designing a mobile suit.

Or something
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crashlegacy14
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Re: Seraphic's Section - ...and then, when you least expect

... uh...

http://i2.photobucket.com/albums/y25/cr ... Edit01.jpg

(I think I took longer showing the change then it would have taken to explain it rofl)
as for clothing remember that the thicker the material the less it it folds but the larger its folds generally are. the bottoms of the pants should be wide enough for her to get her foot through man. lol

also scarfs are awesome.
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Seraphic
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Re: Seraphic's Section - ...and then, when you least expect

I didn't mention before that I had made some slight posture changes after taking that WIP picture. I knew the sway should cause a rotation in the hip, so I had lowered everything in the left leg slightly. I don't know if it's noticeable.

I also know about the right leg needing to be placed under her center of mass from studying some references, but I decided against changing it. I didn't think it looked as good, and I was afraid I would have a hard time explaining why her right leg would look so much shorter than the other. You know, because that's how the reference photos look.

As far as I can tell, I did the folds/creases in the different materials the way you had described. Maybe it's all in my head. I think the bottom of her leather pants are supposed to be somewhat elastic. Are leather pants elastic? I have no idea. I've never owned any. (And hopefully I never will.) Perhaps I can cheat and say the backs of the pant legs have a slit with elastic fabrics. =3

I intended for the left hand to be resting on top of whatever she was wearing instead of holding any of the fabric, so I can't really justify hiding the fingers. That might make it look weirder, anyway.

Yes, scarves are awesome. =o

Thank you for the thorough input.

***

New stuff - I don't think you'll laugh quite as hard as you're supposed to unless you play a lot of Monster Hunter Tri:

Domestic violence.

Made in reference to this podcast episode. I know somebody else had already shopped a version of this joke, but I like my version better because it looks more natural.

It's just a joke picture I made overnight, so I don't think any critiquing is necessary. Yes, the shadow looks funny. Leave me alone! >,<

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crashlegacy14
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Re: Seraphic's Section - domestic violence 7.14.11

Hey Sera, for future reference, it's probably a good idea to scan your wip stages instead of taking photos of it. I say this because it makes it easier to do over lays to illustrate how much you change the pose/design/ect between wip and finished. just putting it out there.

From what I can tell of the wip and final, the only leg you even remotely changed was the left one bring it in closer slightly, which really doesn't help sell the way her hips are placed any.

one thing to realize is that not many people actually stand with their center of placed evenly on both feet, its much more common to see them leaning on one leg or the other. For example I know that I myself place more weight on my left foot. Hell of the top of my head the most common place I can see finding reference for some one standing with their legs in a similar position to this drawing would be the military "at attention" position or the position that used for modeling figures in 3d. in their case it's not a very natural relaxed position which is what the rest of her body's position suggests.
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tehprognoob
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Re: Seraphic's Section - domestic violence 7.14.11

just saying, on the Jen pic, a woman's neck is not usually thick as a lineman's o_0
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Seraphic
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Re: Seraphic's Section - domestic violence 7.14.11

tehprognoob wrote:just saying, on the Jen pic, a woman's neck is not usually thick as a lineman's o_0
http://i31.photobucket.com/albums/c353/ ... /neck2.jpg
http://i31.photobucket.com/albums/c353/ ... 04wip2.jpg
http://i294.photobucket.com/albums/mm10 ... me-pic.png

When's the last time you looked at a real woman? Compare the neck with the width of the jaw line. If anything, Jen's neck is a little thinner than a normal person's neck.
crashlegacy14 wrote: Hey Sera, for future reference, it's probably a good idea to scan your wip stages instead of taking photos of it. I say this because it makes it easier to do over lays to illustrate how much you change the pose/design/ect between wip and finished. just putting it out there.
...but that's so much work...!! =( Also, I sometimes draw away from home, so I would have to photograph the WIP and continue drawing.
crashlegacy14 wrote:From what I can tell of the wip and final, the only leg you even remotely changed was the left one bring it in closer slightly, which really doesn't help sell the way her hips are placed any.
I tried. *shrug*
crashlegacy14 wrote:one thing to realize is that not many people actually stand with their center of placed evenly on both feet, its much more common to see them leaning on one leg or the other. For example I know that I myself place more weight on my left foot. Hell of the top of my head the most common place I can see finding reference for some one standing with their legs in a similar position to this drawing would be the military "at attention" position or the position that used for modeling figures in 3d. in their case it's not a very natural relaxed position which is what the rest of her body's position suggests.
Her posture is more meant to emphasize her clothing (which is the entire point of these series of drawings) so I wasn't trying to make things look as natural and relaxed as possible. I guess part of this comes from the modeling references I use in which the models tend to stand in seemingly uncomfortable ways to display their clothing or to make the photograph look artsy. I'm aiming more for whatever let's me see what I'm trying to study and whatever looks nice to me instead of making everything real-to-life.

I understand what you're trying to get me to do, but I don't have time to slow down and study posture because I'm too busy nowadays and have too many projects to crank out. I'll just have to try to get it right as I go.

Thanks for the input. =o

***

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"Red particles are bad, they mutate you into... dead? But green/blue particles are good, apparently, for reasons and for purposes yet to be determined. Isn't science sometimes nicely color-coded?"
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tehprognoob
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Re: Seraphic's Section - domestic violence 7.14.11

okay, you have a point with the beginning of the neck, but notice how Jen's neck is going down in an almost straight line that gives it a thick impression. So I guess curve the neck a little more? On your own reference picture the shoulder is clearly curved, along with the neck to a certain degree. Admittedly, your lines were thick and might have concealed a curve, but from my PoV it looks pretty geometric and squarish. (Not saying that I'm a master of women's necks myself.)

EDIT: I stand guilty as charged about having a skewed view that all women look like opic 3 :<
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Re: Seraphic's Section - ...and then, when you least expect

Seraphic wrote:New stuff - I don't think you'll laugh quite as hard as you're supposed to unless you play a lot of Monster Hunter Tri:

Domestic violence.
Ha, awesome! I know how that feels. Not quite as scary if you've faced down a Fatty though.
For some reason that makes me want to do Monster Hunter armor sets as Mobile Suits, hmmm...
"“As a species we're fundamentally insane. Put more than two of us in a room, we pick sides and start dreaming up reasons to kill one another."
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