New fanfic: Gundam Seed Phoenix

Your own tale of two mecha.
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Antares
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Oh yes it is June already. I assure you the project isn't dead. And as I promised, 49 is up, well, now. I think it leaves it off in a good place for me to finish writing the rest of this story and then churn that out in a respectable, decent time-table when I am done. No more having to wait for an eternity for me to get ahead and review my stuff and so on. But anyhoo, here it is. As Leeloo of The Fifth Element would say, "Big ba-da-boom". Or at least it is very, very imminent.

Episode 49 - Where The Honor Lies. Excerpt to give the Terranists some attention:
Doctor: Here they are. They pretty much sit moping in the infirmary all day long. The other listens to that music like a piece of furniture and the other draws endless amounts of doodles. If I didn’t supply him with paper, he’d draw on the walls. Or the sheets.
Locke: What about their physical condition?
Doctor: I did a casual check-up, as much as one dares with volatile EXTENDEDs, and there is nothing wrong with them. [with added emphasis] Physically.
[The doctor fixes his glasses and looks at Locke more closely. There is an angry red mark on his left cheek. Locke clears his throat to hint that the scrutiny is not appreciated. Vries, on the other hand, has remained surprisingly passive and quiet during the exchange, looking at the two youngsters from the corner of his eye. Viktor catches his eye, and turns his head to the side like a confused puppy.]
Locke: So you would say they are fit to pilot mobile suits?
Doctor: [shrugs] It was what they were designed to do.
Locke: And you have no qualms about sticking both of them into the cockpit of an instrument of war?
[The doctor actually does a short double-take here, the voice of his oath as a doctor making itself heard, but only for a moment.]
Doctor: [repeats with less conviction] It was what they were designed to do.
Locke: [face darkens] Good. Vries! Take this one and put it into the cockpit. Make sure it understands what it needs to do. And also make sure it understands failure to learn quickly what is expected of it is not an option on this ship.
[With this, Locke storms away. The doctor sidles next to Vries.]
Doctor: [whispers] What has crawled up his ass?
[Flashback, sepia, for Vries only. After being freed, Vries had walked the ship, and by accident ended up next to Locke’s quarters. The quarrelling had been loud. Chiiro could put considerable volume into her voice when she chose to. Vries, being the bastard he is, had casually eavesdropped.]
Locke: What has gone into you, Chiiro? We’re at war and sacrifices have to be made! You know this better than anyone!
Chiiro: [shrill, yet teary] Some sacrifices should be avoided at all costs. We’ve paid all too much already.
Locke: And we have to keep on paying until we are free! Children cannot be exempted for the responsibility of their future!
[The slap is heard even to the other side of the door.]
Chiiro: [seething] No, you told me when we first met, that it is our job to ensure the future of our children. If we make our children fight in our wars, then they won’t have a future!
Locke: [shocked, stricken] You slapped me.
[There is a moment of silence, then Chiiro’s broken voice continues.]
Chiiro: I am sorry. I beg you, don’t use that boy. He doesn’t understand anything of all this.
Locke: [coldly] He is an EXTENDED. They are only a step away from being the same as the Abominations themselves. But he is also a pilot. [pause] You seem to think I am heartless. Do you know how much that hurts me, Chiiro? The only way I can think in this situation is to set everything on the same line, and expect them to fill their role. After I allowed even you to join that line without a protest, what makes you think I’d start to make exceptions now?
[Vries understands that this is his cue to exit and quickly, before Locke predictably walks out of that door, feeling murderous and frustrated at the same time. For Vries, who had just escaped a potential death sentence, making himself scarce seems the best course of action. End flashback. The scene returns to the doctor and Vries.]
Vries: [shrugs, as if disinterest] Who knows? Constipation, stress, or maybe both.
[The doctor scoffs, irritated by Vries’s indifference. Vries glances at the two youths again and this time fixates on Mahadi and frowns. The young man’s skin has taken a grey pall, and he seems ill.]
Vries: What is his problem, then?
Doctor: [to himself] Stress, constipation, or maybe both, you smartass. [to Vries] Apparently mister Quell here is not best suited for zero-g. He has been sick a few times, but he doesn’t complain.
[Vries frowns at Mahadi, who calmly looks past Vries, as if not seeing him there at all.]
Vries: Wouldn’t you say that throwing up is a problem in his medical state?
Doctor: [shrugs] Not if he doesn’t vomit inside his helmet. We can feed him intravenously before the next sortie to fix that.
[Vries isn’t exactly satisfied with the answer, but it will have to do. The more he thinks, the more it starts to hurt his head. Action is for the better. He moves to grab Viktor, but quickly reconsiders, remembering how the boy went mad in the Sanctuary. Instead he points to the ECLIPSE with his thumb over his shoulder.]
Vries: You. Into the cockpit. Now. I’ll show you how it works.
[Viktor hesitates for a second, glances at Mahadi, and then does as he is told. Mahadi looks at Vries with a blank expression that still manages to radiate disapproval.]
Vries: You get into your unit too. You need to calibrate it for space combat.
[Mahadi merely nods and heads for his GUNDAM. He almost manages to hide a small stumble from Vries, but only almost.]
Vries: [disappointedly, dryly] Fantastic.
and then a compulsory "funny" one:
Daelon: That ship is a strategic asset for us. For the PRISM. You do realize this?
Camembert: [stammers] Of course. [pulls himself up] I did design it, after all!
Gouda: [frowns] No you didn’t.
Camembert: [flustered] Well, I did design some of it!
Gouda: [insisting] No, you didn’t!
Camembert: [stammers defiantly] I-I’ve seen parts of it on paper.
[Apparently Gouda is willing to accept this as a hypothetical possibility. Daelon groans inwardly. If the two weren’t outstanding in their specialized field, he would’ve considered spacing them long ago. But right now he needs his resources, all of them, ready and correctly positioned.]
Daelon: I have made the BARRETT’s captain understand where the wind in PLANT is blowing…
Gouda: [interrupts helpfully] There is no wind in space, sir.
Daelon: [mutters to himself] God, give me strength. [out loud] Figure of speech. The captain understands my vision for the future. You will have accommodations on the ship. The GEMINI will be assigned to protect the BARRETT, if necessary. [to himself] If Voltaire gets greedy and tries to doublecross me…
Camembert: We will keep the specimen and the ship safe, depend on it.
Daelon: [slowly, deliberately] Listen, and I think I can’t stress this enough, under no circumstances are you to make any changes into the BARRETTs energy dishes. And, under no circumstances, are you to perform any solo tests on these two. [motions at Hel and Janus]
[Both Camembert and Gouda deflate visibly, their hopes blown.]
Daelon: [softens his tone a bit] I need your insight and analysis, and I want you to make sure the BARRETT and the twins operate at full capacity.
[Throughout this discussion, the twins have been completely motionless, expressionless. Only when Daelon pointed at them, did Janus’s eyes briefly flick over to him. There is a flicker of animosity detectable in the look. That could be sign enough that while they are referred to as tools and things, Hel and Janus are not deaf nor slow-witted enough to think they are being disparaged. As Daelon and his scientists exchange words, the camera goes behind the twins. Hel moves her hand a bit, her fingers catching Janus’s, and their hands lock silently. Daelon and his cohorts miss this, but the guards minding the twins don’t.]
Guard#1: Why are they holding hands? That’s creepy.
Guard#2: [takes a fatherly tone] Well, son, sometimes when people like each other they can hold hands. It’s completely natural and a-okay.
[Guard#1 looks at his comrade with murder in his eyes, which is deflected though by his crazily glazed eyes.]
Guard#2: [shrugs] Hey, if you can’t laugh about being gutted and quartered in the near future, what can you laugh about?
Very little in the way of Q&A because I couldn't think of any. Feel free to ask, as always.
-We will not be caught by surprise!
*Almost everyone I've killed uttered similar last words.
-Then I am glad once again that you are on my side.
*They've often said that too.
Antares
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For all interested, I want to assure yet again that this project isn't dead. True, I've been quiet for about what, 4+ months now. That is not to say it's over. Suffice to say that it has taken a backseat for some other stuff, some random stuff blocking it, and writing other kinds of stuff I had more of an appetite for. In fact, I've managed to get moving these last few weeks and it's coming along nicely again. I've started on the epic final battle (I'm at episode 56 or so). Expecting to wrap this up in 60+ (61 tops, I'd say) episodes, and when I do, it only needs some proofreading (I hope CHASER is still up to the task ;) ) and then I can try to publish it to the end in a faster pace.

Personally, it's been a wild ride. This project has been my longest stretch of writing, and I'd say it's got more of my life poured into it than my BA and MA combined. It feels funny to have the ending so close to my grasp after planning it and re-planning it since day one. Completing this thing is something I've promised myself, and I expect to feel a true sense of accomplishment when it's done. Of course, then I probably still need to rewrite it. Yeah, probably should.

Thanks to all those who've asked about this project; it has given me additional motivation to finish this thing to know that I won't be the only one reading it. :P
-We will not be caught by surprise!
*Almost everyone I've killed uttered similar last words.
-Then I am glad once again that you are on my side.
*They've often said that too.
Antares
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Joined: Tue Oct 03, 2006 3:44 am
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*sigh* As Granny Weatherwax put it, I aten't dead. This is just taking longer than I thought. Working on episode 59 now. Still some ground to cover, cast to kill.
-We will not be caught by surprise!
*Almost everyone I've killed uttered similar last words.
-Then I am glad once again that you are on my side.
*They've often said that too.
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Mwulf
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Well, I'm looking forward to it at least.
Another Day, Another Mishap.

Gundam Seed Fates
ASA (comic)
Antares
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For reasons best left unexplained, I have moved the blog to a new location.

The new location is on Wordpress: http://gundamseedphoenix.wordpress.com/
However, I am not very happy with it at the moment. I liked the previous theme, and the current theme is doable but I would like to edit it (which in turn costs money) to allow for larger layouts and more flexible editing of the pages and so on. So if you guys have a good idea about a good blog-software that would suit writing a fic better, please let me know. I still need to do a lot to get it running again the way I want, so I won't mind having to switch again.
-We will not be caught by surprise!
*Almost everyone I've killed uttered similar last words.
-Then I am glad once again that you are on my side.
*They've often said that too.
Antares
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Joined: Tue Oct 03, 2006 3:44 am
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Re: New fanfic: Gundam Seed Phoenix (Stickied for Six Months!)

My word. I posted here too. Just to let you know, I am done with episode 64, moving on to 65 with the cast cut down to the central bits. Won't be long now until the story is done, and then begins the endless fine-tuning. GSP has taken a beating when other stories have caught my interest, but it is my first baby-project, and I WILL FINISH IT. Or it will finish me, either way is good. ;) Incidentally, maybe I should abbreviate the project in true CE-spirit to GaSP. It would be more accurate. :D
-We will not be caught by surprise!
*Almost everyone I've killed uttered similar last words.
-Then I am glad once again that you are on my side.
*They've often said that too.
Antares
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Joined: Tue Oct 03, 2006 3:44 am
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Re: New fanfic: Gundam Seed Phoenix (Stickied for Six Months!)

Oh yeah, I've finished. Haven't I said I'm finished. I wonder why I haven't remembered to post that here. So yeah, I'm finished. I just need to kick my own butt hard enough to 1) edit the stuff I have written so far and 2) get it proofread and 3) out there.

I still think I am redoing the whole shibazz into a regular text (as opposed to the script-format). It's also boring at times when I compare to e.g. Shadowcell's Twilight. I can't manage to get that many fights, but instead I do massive battles that get tiring and confusing. Still, I don't think the story itself is all that bad, so it can still be salvaged. :)

Hopefully I will have episode 50 up in a week or so. Thanks to CHASER for remembering and reminding me. ;)
-We will not be caught by surprise!
*Almost everyone I've killed uttered similar last words.
-Then I am glad once again that you are on my side.
*They've often said that too.
Antares
Posts: 1546
Joined: Tue Oct 03, 2006 3:44 am
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Contact:

Re: New fanfic: Gundam Seed Phoenix (Stickied for Six Months!)

Hello there! Shock and awe, episodes 50 and 51 are up! Episode 50 Maverick (please withhold comment relating to past US presidential elections) and episode 51 Into The Light (yes, nicked from Babylon 5), to be exact.

Usually I've given a small preview here, but this time it is quite hard. These two episodes stand to explain a lot of what has been going on in the background, which makes them semi-recaps and nearly flashbacks all the way. Several points are directly from previous episodes (even episode 1) which means I wanted to include that bit here instead of having you go back that far. Lord knows you can't be expected to remember if even I can't what happened way back then that might have some relevance to the plot now when set into context. In a very clumsy way I try to show, I guess, that I wasn't just making this stuff up as I went along but there was an actual story-arch with past scenes having hidden meaning. Or then it was just obvious, or much worse, too far-fetched. Well, this is Gundam, after all.

Speaking of which, even if Gundam-series are prone to flashbacks and recaps, I think I overdid it with 1½ episodes of basically nothing but. When I rewrite (as in, not only edit the text), I'll try to shrink it down to less than one episode to give the good stuff in the ending of episode 52 more room.

Finally, like I said when I moved to this new WordPress -blog, I don't like it all that much. For one, the sub-pages listing the episode/scene -combos are not in numerical order but in the order I post them. Second, the layout is too narrow and the text is left really tight, making it look like huge columns of blah-blah-blah. I wish I had more time to find a better layout (but as I recall this one was the best of several I tried).

But complaining aside, if you remember this stuff at all and are still interested, go read. Even if you don't remember, the special bonus of a recap -episode is that you'll be reminded of stuff. :D You can leave comments here or on the blog (I assume it won't mark them as spam immediately and delete them). I'll try to get this posting-routine back on track since I want to finish this.
The blog is at: http://gundamseedphoenix.wordpress.com/ in case you've forgotten (I nearly had :mrgreen: ).

P.S. Already started the re-write into non-script -format. It's much shorter so far; the OVA is half-way done being edited and it's gone from 47 pages to 43. :)
-We will not be caught by surprise!
*Almost everyone I've killed uttered similar last words.
-Then I am glad once again that you are on my side.
*They've often said that too.
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ShadowCell
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Re: New fanfic: Gundam Seed Phoenix (Stickied for Six Months!)

I'm gonna go ahead and unsticky this, by the way. I don't remember when we had the contest that you won, but I'm, uh, pretty sure it was more than six months ago. >>
Antares
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Re: New fanfic: Gundam Seed Phoenix

I think I wondered about being stickied for so long a few times in this thread, but didn't want to press it. :D By all means unsticky. I won the fanfic challenge to get sticked, if by winning you mean "lost to Cardi Doorl, who did not have a fanfiction up, so as the runner-up I got stickied". :P And I believe I rode that pony for just about 2 years.

I better post more often so this doesn't sink into obscurity. :mrgreen: Let's see how soon I can push out episode 52.
-We will not be caught by surprise!
*Almost everyone I've killed uttered similar last words.
-Then I am glad once again that you are on my side.
*They've often said that too.
Antares
Posts: 1546
Joined: Tue Oct 03, 2006 3:44 am
Location: Finland
Contact:

Re: New fanfic: Gundam Seed Phoenix

Managed to slap 52 in there before the end of March, hooray. So, Episode 52 - Starscream is up. But no, no transformers by the same name feature in this one. :)

CHASER put it well, that "And so it was that in episode 52, everyone was after everyone, and Nightfall was everywhere. Which is fortunate, because they're all seem to be heading the same way." I thought it pretty well sums it up, don't you? :D

This time there is a quote from the story here for your amusement:
[The camera retreats from the room and rotates around PLANT to find the ARCHANGEL on an artificial orbit around the colony cluster with its supporting ships. Still denied admittance to PLANT space, they have little to do other than wait. The camera moves to the mess hall, where Andy is experimenting with a new coffee maker that looks like a chemical weapons plant. The fumes from the device have driven everyone else to the opposite corner of the room. Cagalli is on the bridge, keeping an eye on PLANT. Miriallia brings Cagalli a steaming cup of tea, and stays there standing next to her for a moment. Cagalli’s displeasure over the situation has sent her in a foul mood.]
Miriallia: Should we at least tell them that a group of Natural fanatics are coming here armed with nukes?
Cagalli: [angrily] I’m sure Daelon can manage, since he has the situation so well at hand. We have to keep an eye out because they sure as hell won’t. If it weren’t for the UPA, I almost feel like packing my stuff and going home, and letting Daelon sort it out. [to Miriallia’s concerned look] I said “almost”.
[A moment of silence.]
Miriallia: This waiting is the worst part.
Cagalli: [grunts] Yeah, well, the battle itself usually isn’t all that fun either.
[Miriallia takes a bit offense from Cagalli’s biting sarcasm, and goes to her seat. The camera retreats from the ship and speeds behind them to the abandoned colony they passed long ago. The Terranist ships are again quiet, but this time it seems like all work is well finished. The camera moves closer and moves inside the main vessel, the DAMOCLES. The officers of all three ships are conferring what to do, once again. Vries is the only senior officer not present, apparently still stripped of his rank. Chiiro is present but she is wearing a constant frown, making a point of not looking at anyone. Kofu glances at her, concerned about the growing rifts in their ranks. Rasch apparently couldn’t care less.]
Rasch: So the little EXTENDED brat can handle the ECLIPSE?
[Kofu looks to Locke, who waits just a moment too long before answering. When he draws breath, Chiiro’s back stiffens.]
Locke: All simulations show that he can perform well in that machine, even with his current conditioning.
Rasch: So that is a yes? Fine. What about the INFERNO, then?
Kofu: We really have only two candidates on all three ships that show the necessary proficiency to handle that machine. Bear in mind that even Vries used it under the influence of the serum.
Rasch: [snorts] Then reprogram it!
Kofu: [shakes his head] Too time-consuming. We can put another pilot into the GUNDAM, but Vries is, skill-wise, still our best bet. But we all know he is unstable.
[Rasch leans back, and Locke keeps silent, watching the situation carefully.]
Rasch: [slowly] So he is a little psycho? So what? This plan we’re embarking on does not exactly require finesse. We attack PLANT, smash everything, nuke them to bits, and then it’s all over.
Kofu: Yes, I have been meaning to talk about that. I don’t think all of my crew realizes it is a suicide mission.
Locke: [calmly, softly] You’re not supposed to make them think about that. They will understand what is asked of them when the time comes, and then they will sacrifice themselves willingly for the cause.
Chiiro: Or if they won’t, we’ll force them, won’t we?
[Locke winces. He has tried to reason with Chiiro on this several times, but offering death and reason compared to emotional survival is not an easy sales-pitch to make.]
Rasch: I’ve vetted my crew to understand what is required of them. I suggest you do the same. We can’t falter now that we’ve committed so much.
Kofu: Is there really no other way?
Locke: No. We go in, ready to give our lives for the deaths of all abominations, or there is no point going at all. Through the willingness for ultimate sacrifice can only come ultimate victory.
[Kofu chews his lower lip, not wanting to embark on a suicide mission. Genocide was never his goal, but the Terranists seemed to offer other solutions when he had signed on.]
Rasch: Prep the GUNDAMs for the kid and the loony. Just make sure we push them out first so we don’t have to worry about getting shot in the back. Resolve is called for, gentlemen!
Locke: [firmly] Very well. We’ve waited long enough. Prepare the ships and crew for departure.
[With this Rasch stands up and walks away, back erect and chin up. Locke turns his head to Chiiro, who gives a look of clear disapproval. Locke looks at Kofu. Kofu stands up as well, and leaves to attend to his ship. Locke carefully runs his fingers through his hair, stroking the scar at the back of his neck.]
Locke: [out loud] I need the wings of an angel to protect us.
Oh and I added the PHOENIX to the tech profile since it's going to be quite prominent in the episodes to come. Of course it would be nicer for some of its features to remain a secret, but maybe this will do. :)
-We will not be caught by surprise!
*Almost everyone I've killed uttered similar last words.
-Then I am glad once again that you are on my side.
*They've often said that too.
Antares
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Re: New fanfic: Gundam Seed Phoenix

Episode 53 - Thoughts that shape the world is up. …talk about a pretensious name for an episode! But it is, especially when you get into Nightfall blathering off about the classics (or what I personally consider to be the Classics). I know this is again pretty-talk heavy, but it goes to set the mood for the final, long slide to the end. Trust me, it’s coming.

Here is the quote:
Nightfall: [sharply] The road to hell is paved with good intentions. And unrealized wants. [sympathetically] I am not trying to undermine you. I am simply asking what you are fighting for.
Athrun: [immediately] For justice.
Nightfall: [smiles benignly] And I assume Kira Yamato would say he is fighting for freedom.
Athrun: They are not bad goals. [raises a hand to cut off Nightfall] To cut you off, I know full well what abstract concepts those are. Almost pure idealism.
Nightfall: [leans in] So you protest idealism?
[Athrun leans back, and crosses his arms, looking at Nightfall for a moment very intensely. Nightfall finds himself leaning back and similarly crosses his arms.]
Athrun: Idealism, no. Naïveté, yes. I feel those two are separate, even if cynics usually join them at the hip. I am a bit of a cynic myself, I’ve realized lately. The insurrection of the Hammer demolished the hopes for forced peaceful coexistence. It made the hollowness of our Pyrrhic victory quite clear.
Nightfall: [approvingly] So the EDF stands for mitigating conflicts, but isn’t afraid to use force to end them.
Athrun: [cocks his head] Not quite. We don’t see ourselves, or at least I don’t, as self-righteous judges descending from the skies to brutalize everyone into submission. We’ve tried that, it hasn’t worked.
Nightfall: But when you do find you have to intervene with force, what goes through your mind?
Athrun: [sincerely] I don’t know. But I feel the answer is out there.
[Nightfall leans back on the chair, stretching his back. The answer seems to please him, Athrun notes.]
Athrun: Have you heard what you wanted?
Nightfall: I’ve heard what I’ve expected.
Athrun: Was this some sort of test?
Nightfall: I don’t test people. I merely probe the depth of their insights. People are free to think what they want.
Athrun: [reasons] As are you. And you have a very clear sense of what is right and what is wrong.
[Nightfall’s eyes snap towards Athrun, making it plain that he is impressed.]
Nightfall: Very, very good.
Athrun: [reasons on relentlessly] People who have a very clear sense of righteousness tend to become self-righteous. I know because I remind myself of it every day. You start to think that you know better, and no one else knows anything. That is when you start to judge people. At that point you have already stepped over the line when you have as much power as I do. I knew a pilot who was led down that path by fear. Without his warning example, I might not have realized it myself.
[As Athrun’s voice gained strength, Nightfall’s face grew tighter. His smile fades quickly.]
Athrun: You’ve made yourself the judge already, haven’t you? You intend to judge the world, as if you alone have the right to decide the verdict. I, on the other hand, may be a lot of things, but even for the sake of justice I cannot become the judge, jury, and executioner.
Nightfall: [constrained] I am a little disappointed.
Athrun: [angrily] My point exactly. You thought I would accept your reasoning in awe of its infallibility. Instead, you found me holding a mirror up to your own face. The reflection might be distorted, but I recognize you. You are Rau Le Creuset.
[Nightfall maneuvers his legs under the table, and jumps up, using his knees as leverage to tip the table over and into Athrun’s lap. Athrun yelps and rolls clear as Nightfall pulls out a pistol from a holster he had attached to the underside of the table. Athrun tucks his feet in and rolls away from two bullets hitting the floor. As he unrolls to his feet, he feels a sharp pain in his side and his left leg buckles. The wounds from his daring escape from the cockpit of the doomed SOLARIS apparently hadn’t all healed yet. However, the buckling leg saves Athrun’s life as a third bullet hits the wall just where Athrun’s head was a second ago. Athrun rolls again, crying out in pain and gets his pistol out with the roll. Nightfall takes cover behind the table, somewhat surprised at Athrun’s tenacity.]
Athrun: [panting] You might have less spittle in the corner of your mouth, but that doesn’t hide the fact that you, too, are insane! You might not cackle yet, but I’d say that is only a matter of time!

But I tried sneak in a bit of the funnies in that one too to make it less tiresome to read. So anyone wanna guess what Jerry whispered to Shiho? ;)
-We will not be caught by surprise!
*Almost everyone I've killed uttered similar last words.
-Then I am glad once again that you are on my side.
*They've often said that too.
Antares
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Re: New fanfic: Gundam Seed Phoenix

Episode 54 - Force of Arms is now up. The update took a little longer this time, but I have not been idling, at least. Even the proofreading and editing of the material is going well. Many thanks once more to CHASER for his continued support and tireless proofreading and editing.

So this episode features yet some talking and setting the tone for the upcoming big fight. Kira and Athrun have a chance to hug and make up, and Voltaire’s link to Daelon is fully revealed all the while the puppet-master keeps on pulling the strings towards a deadly confrontation. There are a few funny bits again. I didn’t craft a Q&A because I didn’t feel like anything needs special explaining, and everything should be pretty well mapped-out by now. If you have issues or questions, please do ask.

The usual quotes offered:
Cagalli: The VALKYRIE looks good. The damage it took has been completely repaired.
Neumann: Well it was in drydock for long enough.
[Cagalli gives a soft affirmative hum and keeps on looking at the ship. Neumann focuses his eyes forward, trying hard not to look at Cagalli’s side-profile too directly. Neumann has had some training in this though, as a man sitting at the helm of a ship captained by Murrue Ramius would. He is somewhat startled by Waldfeld’s sudden appearance next to him.]
Waldfeld: Would you like a cup?
[Neumann’s eyes dart to Cagalli’s chest and back to Waldfeld.]
Neumann: Eh, what?
[Waldfeld proffers up a cup of coffee.]
Neumann: Oh sure, yeah, thanks, sir.
[Waldfeld gives a nasty smirk which says he knows more than Neumann would like him to. With this smirk he then walks next to Cagalli, and leans in to whisper something to her ear. Neumann’s mouth falls open at the sheer playground affront of running and telling. Feeling busted, he slumps, as does the hand holding the coffee. With an agonized yelp Neumann jumps to his feet, trying to brush off the scalding hot liquid.]
Cagalli: Neumann!
[Despite the pain, he snaps into attention. He will at least go down with some dignity.]
Cagalli: [pleasantly] I guess captain Waldfeld was right. You are so tired you’ll fall asleep even with a cup of coffee in your hand. You’re relieved from bridge duty. Take a break, sleep at least six hours.
[Neumann stammers a hesitant reply, but then salutes and scampers off. Cagalli watches his go and sighs.]
Cagalli: People shouldn’t push their luck like that. Tired people make mistakes.
Waldfeld: Yeah. At least he gave up while he was still ahead. [adds under his breath] And didn’t need to bring his nuts home in a bag.
Cagalli: [glances at Waldfeld] What was that?
Waldfeld: [coughs] I just thought you should get some rest too.
Cagalli: [snaps] I don’t need to rest right now.
Waldfeld: [dryly] Yes, I noticed you had drained the entire pot of coffee I had brewed.
Cagalli: [left eye ticks slightly] I brewed you a new one.
[Waldfeld sips his coffee and does well to hide his grimace.]
Waldfeld: I noticed. May I suggest a bit more water and less beans next time. And I think you actually made and drank one pot in between that you failed to mention.
Cagalli: [waves her hand irritably] What, you count the beans so you could tell?
Waldfeld: [dead-serious] Yes. Yes I do.
Cagalli: Okay, fine. After I’ve talked with Ramius, I’ll take a break too. [pause] Any news on Hahnenfluss and her crew?
Waldfeld: Unfortunately no word yet. I am a little concerned they might end up in PLANT.
Cagalli: I have that message to give her from Simmons. Remind me to give it to her.
Waldfeld: Sure thing.
[He pats Cagalli on the shoulder, and turns to leave, but pauses.]
Waldfeld: [matter-of-factly] You’re trembling, you know.
Cagalli: [cheerily] Am I? I was worried it might be the ship. Carry on, captain.
Did you see what I did there? And did you like it, even if just a little? :P
-We will not be caught by surprise!
*Almost everyone I've killed uttered similar last words.
-Then I am glad once again that you are on my side.
*They've often said that too.
Antares
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Re: New fanfic: Gundam Seed Phoenix

Hi guys, here is episode 55 - Enemies and Allies.

I know I am really taking my sweet time getting to the final act, but there were several scenes I wanted to set up and play out, like the exchange between Shiho and Dearka and Lunamaria and Jerry. I know the twins have been a little absent up until now, too. Then there is the bit between Athrun and Lacus where they come to terms, in a way. And if you're annoyed by Lacus, you should be. There is only so much righteousness (or sanctimony) to go around in the world. ;) Oh and then there is a Star Trek -reference, but you have to read the thing to find it. :D

Anyhow, here is also the usual quote:
Shiho: Did the Valkyrie also run into the Hammer?
Ramius: We did, while we fought the Strike Freedom and the Infinity.
Shiho: [stammers] Kira Yamato and Athrun Zala fought?
Jerry: Again?
[Jerry’s interjection is not welcomed, and he shuts up immediately.]
Ramius: It seems that Athrun was defeated by Shinn Asuka. Somehow the Hammer had managed to construct a very high-end Gundam.
[At the mention of Shinn’s name, Lunamaria jumps visibly. Cagalli can’t help but giving her a hostile glare. Even she can’t help attributing some blame to Lunamaria by simple association.]
Cagalli: We should talk about Athrun less and concentrate on our strategy more.
Shiho: I need mobile suits for myself and my pilots. Those who are able still have a duty to the UPA.
Frost: It seems we have more than enough work cut out for us. Colonel Waldfeld has the Gaia, and Lady Athha brought the Justice, but aside from that we have no Gundams. We have pilots and Hawk Enforcers and a few Goufs I think we can get reassigned to you, but we two ships…
Ramius: [holds her hand up calmingly] We need to debrief you fully first, captain. Miss Hawke and mister Saber are also welcome. We’re very interested in the Gundam you encountered.
Shiho: The one that killed major Elthmann, yes.
[The general mood drops below floor-level. The UPA seems to have been fighting an uphill battle ever since its conception. At this point there are only a few fundamental truths to resort to to keep up their conviction.]
Cagalli: We are the UPA, and we have a responsibility, and we will live up to that responsibility.
Shiho: [nods] For the sake of those who have fallen.
Ramius: For the sake of those who would fall tomorrow.
Frost: [slightly morosely] We, who are about to die, salute you.
Ramius: [slaps Frost on the shoulder] It doesn’t matter if we’re outnumbered a little. It’s not the size, it’s the motion of the ocean.
Waldfeld: [slaps Frost on the other shoulder] Despite that bald-faced lie, she has a point. Like in brewing coffee, passion is a key ingredient.
Cagalli: What are you two talking about?
Frost: [mumbles] Passion doesn’t make you bulletproof…
Ramius: Enemies behind us, enemies in front of us. It’s a million to one chance we’ll make it through alive.
Waldfeld: But remember, for us a million to one chances tend to crop up nine times out of ten.
Jerry: Yeah! Something like, “believe in me, who believes in you”, that sort of thing?
[A heavy silence descends over everyone. Cagalli coughs.]
Lunamaria: [under her breath] Biter.
And for some reason the stupid blog ordered episode 55 scenes 1-2 before episode 54. So you have to pick the first one from a few links back. It sucks, but it suits my purpose for getting this stuff done. :)
-We will not be caught by surprise!
*Almost everyone I've killed uttered similar last words.
-Then I am glad once again that you are on my side.
*They've often said that too.
Antares
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Re: New fanfic: Gundam Seed Phoenix

Hello guys, here we go again! The latest episode, 56 – The Moment of Truth is up. Basically the title relates to the huge stand-off in PLANT, and how it will be resolved. I won’t give away too much, but it sounds a lot like “blusterduck”. ;)

This is followed by what I like to think is the longest written battle-scene ever. You have the Terranists, the Hammer, the ZAFTies, and the UPA, and even Lacus and her lot are racing to the scene. Don’t think this fight can be over in just one or two episodes. :D I really, REALLY have to learn the fine art of condensing the events, but writing fighting is just so fun especially given how long I had set up for this massive beat-down. Well, hope you like it. :)

I’ve neglected to thank CHASER properly for proofreading the stuff in the last few episodes, but many thanks again to CHASER.
A few more quotes than usual this time because I couldn't pick just one. :P
Voltaire: [scoffs] You want me to get on all fours and beg like a dog in front of its master. Don’t be mistaken, Daelon, we may have a pact, but don’t you think the action on the stage is more real than what happens backstage.
[Daelon’s smile freezes. There is no way he can compromise publicly and still retain credible leadership.]
Daelon: [glances at the Prism’s rising power levels] I don’t think you completely appreciate your situation.
Voltaire: [grunts] Maybe, maybe not. But I am not giving the Hammer over to you only to get a sore asshole into the bargain.
[Some of Daelon’s underlings are turning to their own information consoles, hands rising to their own headsets, to listen into some reports. Daelon is able to use the distraction to his advantage.]
Daelon: [hisses] This is not where you start to negotiate for a better deal, Voltaire. Stick to the plan.
Voltaire: What guarantees do I have that once I do relinquish control I can still negotiate? You have to give me something.
Daelon: [voice low with anger] I was going to give you ZAFT, you idiot.
ZAFT admiral: Sir?
[One of the ZAFT admirals has turned to Daelon, trying to catch his eye. Most likely he didn’t hear what Daelon just said, but he does seem alarmed and frantic. Daelon waves his hand at him.]
Daelon: Just a second.
ZAFT admiral: But sir!
Voltaire: [maliciously] Having a little bit of staff problems? As I said, I need something…
[Voltaire voice trails off, and suddenly a dark, bottomless pit opens up inside Daelon. He looks up to the face of the ZAFT admirals and generals in the room, and then only sees that a message is shown, decrypted, on every screen in the room. It is the same message Daelon sent Voltaire, except someone was kind enough to add a few more flagrantly treasonous phrases here and there, and write out the names of Voltaire and Daelon for all to see.]
Daelon: [choked] What the hell..?
ZAFT admiral: Sir, it is streaming in on all open channels! The whole fleet is receiving this! The codes check out, and… it says the message is authentic, sir.
Voltaire: [in the headset] What the fuck are you doing?!
Daelon: [to the headset] What hell is this?! This is a… a set-up! [hisses to Voltaire] I never thought you’d be crazy enough to try something like this!
Voltaire: You’re pinning this on me, you fucker?! You greedy bastard thought you wouldn’t need to give me my due!
ZAFT admiral: [distressed] Sir, the fleet is swamping our communications, they demand answers!
[The screens flicker and the message disappears from all screens. It is shortly replaced by an audio recording of Daelon and Voltaire talking over the Omicron channel, also decrypted for the benefit of ZAFT and Hammer pilots alike. Daelon’s face is drained of all blood as he realizes that there is no way he can talk himself out of this. Voltaire’s cursing and shouting has become an indistinct and annoying buzzing in his head.]
Show of hands, who thinks this will end well? ;)
Locke: Our primary focus is the UPA flagship, designation Valkyrie! Take out its primary weapons module. Damocles will lead the attack. Dauntless will provide cover for Liberty and engage their mobile suits!
[As the camouflage is dropped, the mobile suits floating in between the ships also fire up their boosters and head out. The Inferno takes the lead, followed by the Eclipse, with Viktor now in control, and Ttriton. The parts of the Icarus are launched from the rear of the Damocles, and the huge mobile suit completes its form by joining its components together. The Icarus’s powerful thrusters roar, taking it towards the battle.]
Vries: [to Chiiro, sounding unhinged] Don’t get left behind, you scary bitch!
[Chiiro clenches her teeth, fuming at her controls. Viktor and Mahadi are quite passive, while Vries, in turn, seems like he is on a wild trip, which is explained by the emptied syringe floating around in his cockpit.]
Vries: Come on then, pigs to the slaughter! Aaaiiiieeeee!
[Vries punches the throttle to the maximum. The UPA formation, in turn, shapes up quickly. The Enforcers furthest out take their distance from the nukes, and the ones closer to the ships also disperse. The Valkyrie turns to meet the Terranists. The Gaia stands on the deck of the Archangel in its quadruped mode.]
Waldfeld: Captain Frost! Now would be time to put that plan of yours to counter the nukes into action!
Frost: Already there, sir! [to his crew] Execute the emergency surge; all forward weapons fire, full dispersal pattern. Mobile suits, clear the way in three seconds!
Arthur: [feeling shouty too] Make sure you hit every one!
[The targeting vector of the Valkyrie opens up, showing the mobile suits in question that they are on the line fire. One of the suits is Jerry’s.]
Jerry: Holy shit! Duck and cover!
Because nothing in CE is unfunny to me anymore. I apologize for completely undermining the serious tone of these fight scenes with jokes that primarily serve to amuse me as I write. :D
[The shaking vibration in the colonies is even stronger this time, and families whimper in shelters. Some seem quite angry.]
Citizen: This is crazy! What is the point of fighting to save our homes if the fight itself destroys them?!
Citizen#2: Yeah! It feels like the whole colony is shaking to its core! This is madness!
Citizen: [sarcastically] No, this is PLANT. [pause] Madness is our middle name.
Citizen#2: [confused] No it isn’t.
Citizen#3: Mine is “Thomas”.
Citizen: Shut up! The military took over and now they treat us all as fodder!
Citizen#4: [shrilly] Shut up, commie Natural!
Speaks for itself, really.
-We will not be caught by surprise!
*Almost everyone I've killed uttered similar last words.
-Then I am glad once again that you are on my side.
*They've often said that too.
Antares
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Re: New fanfic: Gundam Seed Phoenix

What ho, peasants?
It is a new episode! Episode 57 - Decimation. And again, not very creative, a little dramatic, but quite fitting, I like to think. The smackdown in PLANT is getting exceedingly serious. It is almost too massive. Okay, it is too massive. More people dying, as evidenced by the following excerpt:
Hel: Let’s go, brother. He needs us.
Janus: I heard. I left a little final parting gift on the bridge. They had drawn hard-lines to the mainframe.
Hel: How considerate of them.
[The camera moves away from the pair and onto the bridge. The camera doesn’t spend time showing the gruesome sight of the slain crew, but rather concentrates on the targeting computer. A row of commands has been typed in, and the commands have all been activated. Text on the screen reads, “Seeking remote host”. The connection is made. The camera cuts to the Council chambers on PLANT Prime, where Daelon frowns, seeing that the firing control for the Prism is changing its configuration. Daelon glances around the room to check that no one is doing anything for the program. He sets his own fingers on a keyboard, and starts to check what is happening. The Prism has been already activated, much to his concealed shock. Daelon lets out a little yelp, and selects the communication lines, cutting the links outside the chamber to stop the apparent hacking. One by one the screens in the chambers flicker and go blank as the links are cut. Daelon’s staff starts to stand up in confusion. The ZAFT admiral notices that Daelon is still typing.]
ZAFT admiral: Sir, we’ve lost our communication links!
Daelon: I know; I had to cut them! The Prism is being hacked into!
[The ZAFT admiral’s eyes bulge nearly out of their sockets.]
ZAFT admiral: What?! How is that possible?
Daelon: Someone trace the source, quick! I’ve cut 95% of the links, but the outside commands still come in.
[Alarm starts to seep into his voice, stoking the fires of fear higher still even among his chosen loyal guard. Daelon tries to type as fast as he can, but he is no computer wiz.]
Daelon: Damn it! I can’t stop it! The Prism is charging up!
[The shaking and humming in the background starts to pick up. In the colonies themselves panic starts to spread like wildfire. Especially in the colonies at the end of the line, the damage already caused by the harmonics of the Prism is plainly visible, and this third coming shot is nothing short of disastrous.]
Civilian: Sweet mother of God, they’re killing us!
[People who have made it into shelters clasp their heads and whimper. Outside the chaos increases as cracks appear in the colony’s infrastructure. The shelters have become increasingly packed and some escape pods already eject. The camera goes back to the Gemini in the hangar of the Barrett.]
Hel: Won’t they have time to stop it?
Janus: I doubt that very much.
[Outside the ship, the Barrett’s reflector dishes move into odd angles, turning this way and that without any apparent logic. In Daelon’s chamber, the trace at last comes through.]
ZAFT admiral: Sir, the outside commands originate from the Barrett! Their targeting computer is overriding ours!
Daelon: How is that possible? Contact them! Get me the…
ZAFT admiral: [interrupts, angry and scared] We can’t! You cut all the communication links!
Daelon: Put them back up!
ZAFT admiral: There isn’t enough time!
[As if to underline the exclamation, the first Prism beam condenses and the energy starts to travel down the row of colony-mounted conduits. The last colony along the line shudders as the energy blasts to it, and then onward into the condenser point. From there it strikes the Barrett. The hangar doors of the Barrett are blasted open as the Gemini streaks out.]
Hel: So pretty…
[The reflectors are idling so the energy directed into the Barrett is not focused anywhere. The energy streaks out from the Barrett in every conceivable direction, cutting through anything unlucky enough to be caught in the beams. Several PLANT colonies are hit, and the Barrett itself breaks in two under the strain. The beams blow clear holes into ZAFT lines as pilots of mobile suits or captains of the ship didn’t expect a hit from behind. The last Januarius colony down the line of fire starts to crumble from its mid-point as the section connecting the two halves collapses slowly.]
And because Lady Caga is so badass:
Cagalli: [smirks] Finally. Come on then, you over-sized can opener!
Not much comic relief in this one, though. You can find the whole episode in the usual place, but once more the crappy Wordpress blog threw the first two scenes in the wrong place, this time before episode 56. I have to be doing it wrong, whatever it is. :P

In case you've forgotten the link, here it is:http://gundamseedphoenix.wordpress.com/
-We will not be caught by surprise!
*Almost everyone I've killed uttered similar last words.
-Then I am glad once again that you are on my side.
*They've often said that too.
Antares
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Joined: Tue Oct 03, 2006 3:44 am
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Re: New fanfic: Gundam Seed Phoenix

Episode 58 - Acts of Violence is up! If previous episode titles have seemed a little dramatic, maybe this one is a little redundant. Stuff blowing up, a lot! The previous episode was called Decimation, and I know that actually stands for “a loss of one in ten”, but I reckon this smackdown at PLANT is bringing you way more corpses than that. Between Daelon and Vulture, Kira and Maverick, Athrun and Shinn and all the other heroes of C.E. we could have nothing less than that.

Okay there might be a few cases here, Kira’s opening lines in the episode to be more exact, that break the tenor and tone of a “serious” episode, but as I’ve said before, C.E. simply does not allow me to write seriously for it. Sometimes a joke writes itself into the narrative and because it makes the writing process more endurable, I am not that worried about admitting them in. :)

Kira's comment for your viewing pleasure:
Shinn: [growling] FFFRREEEEEEEDOM… FRRREEEDOM! And Athrun! It had to be him! He is still alive! Aaaauaaaugh! I’ll kill them! Kill them both dead!
Athrun: Oh? Erm. Whoops.
Kira: You just had to do that, didn’t you? You just had to piss him off. We could’ve sneaked past him but no, you had to throw shit at him. You deal with him.
And a more typical(?) excerpt:
[The camera cuts away, returning to the group of Goufs, Girrs and a few more Zakus in between the farthermost PLANT colonies. The second Girr pilot relays them the information so they can see with their own eyes now; the forces of Lacus Clyne, many times decried as traitor of PLANT, are attacking the Hammer. Slack-jawed, several pilots look at one another in incomprehension.]
Girr pilot: What the hell? I thought she had gone mad!
Girr pilot#2: Yeah, even I thought stealing a ZAFT ship was over the top…
Gouf pilot: [musing out loud] Maybe she knew something all along we didn’t…
Girr pilot: [doubtfully] I doubt even she is that psychic…
Girr pilot#2: She isn’t. She just managed to be on the right side again at the right time. [sighs] Well, can’t really blame her for that.
Gouf pilot: I for one am glad our princess has returned to us.
Girr pilot#2: [condescendingly] I know you are, Sherman.
Girr pilot: We all know you are. The rest of us are not so keen on a pop-based monarchy…
Girr pilot#2: [to the Gouf commander] Sir? What do we do?
[The Gouf commander takes the situation in, looking at the impressive display of the Infinity smashing into the Hammer’s rear. He knows that the Hammer can see it too. Next he looks at the chaos of the melee, and sees something he has been waiting for. A Zaku, by its markings a Hammer Zaku, flails a bit and then stops moving altogether. The battery has been exhausted in intensive, constant fighting. This suggests the melee at the center of the battle should slowly start to dissolve.]
Gouf commander: I think it is rather obvious. Hard pressed on my right. My center is yielding. Impossible to maneuver. Situation excellent. I attack.
Girr pilot: Huh?
Girr pilot#2: That doesn’t seem at all obvious to me…
Gouf commander: [sighs] You boys ought to be taught more than to make airplane noises and play with your joysticks. Set the Girrs into a wedge formation. The lances are your bayonets. Just keep going, as fast as you can, and smash into their right flank. The rest of us will keep them occupied and then mop up. [pauses, waiting for action] Chop chop, boys! Our comrades need our help!
[A ragged and rather confused cheer is raised, and the Girrs accelerate into attack speed, taking their lances out from their backpacks. The Girr is a superior assault mobile suit, and flanking at high speed is indeed a fitting role. At the same time the Goufs and Zakus charge in to reinforce their own comrades, beating the Hammer back for the first time. The commanding Gouf unit is struck hard by a furiously defending Ginn, which pushes its plain combat sword down from the neck joint. The crash of metal crushes the commander inside his cockpit, but their counter-attack cannot be stopped.]
Points to the person who can recognize the quote in bold. Of course, it can also be found in the footnote of the story itself. ;)
Go ahead, read and comment, I dare you! :mrgreen:
-We will not be caught by surprise!
*Almost everyone I've killed uttered similar last words.
-Then I am glad once again that you are on my side.
*They've often said that too.
Antares
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Joined: Tue Oct 03, 2006 3:44 am
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Re: New fanfic: Gundam Seed Phoenix

Still a lot of stuff exploding, oh my! More people dying, oh yes! Some a little stupidly, maybe. Occasionally maybe the tone for a battle isn’t exactly what you would expect. Do people make jokes under fire? I am pretty sure they’d have to, if only to take their mind off the fact they’re going to soil themselves at any minute. So Maverick hands down Episode 59 - The Verdict. How will the defendants plea?

One of my own favorite scenes in the episode:
[Daelon shudders and briskly walks away from the chamber floor and out to the chairman’s private office. The lighting is low, but he spots a decanter of whisky on the desk with a filled glass next to it. He eagerly snatches it up and as he downs the shot he realizes he hadn’t left it there. Former chairman Lazarr steps out from the shadows with an odd pistol in his hand.]
Lazarr: [conversationally] Greetings chairman. It doesn’t seem things are going well for you at all.
[Daelon takes a step back, staring at the man he locked up. Lazarr can understand the source of his shock.]
Lazarr: I never build a VIP-prison that I wouldn’t know how to get out of myself. If you’d thrown me in regular lock-up, I’d probably still be there.
[Daelon’s right hand sets the tumbler on the table and reaches for his holster.]
Lazarr: [warningly] Ah! I wouldn’t recommend that. You see, the whisky you drank contained a paralyzing agent. It works rather fast, I assure you. If you try to take your weapon out, I will be forced to, well, use force against you. I would like to say this isn’t anything personal, but actually, it is.
Daelon: [huffing] You… planned all this?
Lazarr: You give yourself too little credit. All that is going outside is your own doing. I simply made arrangements to make sure you would be deposed. It’s a pity I wasn’t able to move sooner.
Daelon: [growls] It’s not over yet!
[Daelon’s arm reaches for his sidearm, and Lazarr fires his own pistol. A little tuff of red pops against Daelon’s neck. He manages to get the pistol out of its holster before his knees buckle and he slumps to the floor. The gun falls from his hand. Lazarr pockets his pistol and shrugs.]
Lazarr: I did warn you. I didn’t know the drug also made you deaf and stupid. Maybe those are your natural traits, as it were.
[Daelon’s splutters an incoherent insult, which is all he can do as his body starts to go numb. Lazarr walks next to him and kneels down.]
Lazarr: It won’t last long, and the drug will disappear from your system soon enough. But, you see, this coup you instigated needs to be undone in the whole sense of the word. Your suicide will send a powerful signal to your followers of the hopelessness and impotence of your… administration.
Daelon: [splutters] You… you are no better than me.
Lazarr: I respectfully disagree. I live to serve PLANT, whatever the costs. But unfortunately I don’t have the time to explain the differences of our philosophies. I have to be in my cell shortly to be liberated by worried PLANT citizens who want to return me to my post and save them.
[Lazarr gently wraps Daelon’s hand around his own pistol, setting the forefinger on the trigger. Daelon’s eyes move helplessly, drawn to the sound of Lazarr drawing the hammer back.]
Lazarr: [with some genuine sadness] For PLANT, my dear general. For PLANT.
[Daelon manages to jerkily shake his head just a little in denial.]
Daelon: [voice starting to slur] I… was going to be a leader… who listens to the people…
Lazarr: [intrigued] Really? Which people did you have in mind, specifically? Do I know some of them?
[Lazarr presses a button on the desk that locks the door to the room, a red light coming on. Lazarr looks at Daelon once more, and meets his eyes. The PLANT chairman squeezes Daelon’s hand, and the pistol fires, loudly. Splatters of blood show on the floor. Lazarr pulls out the dart he shot into Daelon’s neck and walks back into the shadows. A quiet hiss is the only sound a hidden exit makes, long before the officers manage to break down the door and to discover the body of the former leader of their coup d’etat.]
And one for the funnies:
[Even though he is in Seed-mode, Athrun doesn’t feel the Justice respond in the way he is accustomed to. When he comments as much to Cagalli, the blonde behind him coughs.]
Cagalli: Oh yeah. Um. It’s a Natural OS. I had it changed for myself.
[Athrun gives her a slow look and then stares at his controls pensively.]
Athrun: I have the special ed OS installed. Wonderful. I can’t just reprogram the whole thing on the fly!
Cagalli: [snidely] I bet Kira could.
Athrun: If you love him so much, why don’t you… Erm. Ew. Never mind.
-We will not be caught by surprise!
*Almost everyone I've killed uttered similar last words.
-Then I am glad once again that you are on my side.
*They've often said that too.
Antares
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Joined: Tue Oct 03, 2006 3:44 am
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Re: New fanfic: Gundam Seed Phoenix

I brave the migraine to bring you episode 60 - Tempting Oblivion. Oddly fitting, given that I feel like I am doing that very thing by not lying very still in a dark room right now.

The royal smackdown around PLANT draws to an exciting(?) close! How many cast members more shall be sent to the final credits’ “In Memoriam” -section? How many will succeed in cheating death? How can this not end the entire series? Those questions and many more shall be answered (or not) in this latest episode of Gundam Seed Phoenix. So go read it!

Ah, an important note; this episode is a little longer (5 scenes) since I wanted to wrap up the battle with this episode. Three, four episodes of nothing but fighting and stuff blowing up needs a moment of diversion, yeah? My only worry is that this battle was so climatic that any follow-ups cannot get the same momentum going. But that would be my shortcoming as the writer, wouldn’t it? ;)

So still a few more episodes to go until we’re all done, but the finish line is so close you can smell it. This long road is finally winding down to the end. Maybe it is a cute cul-de-sac.

Oh yea, excerpt... I had a hard time finding a suitable short one and a funny one so I just picked out one very long one:
Maverick: Hello, Asuka.
[In the cockpit, Shinn’s eyes narrow as he recognizes the voice.]
Shinn: Hello, Rey. Or what should I call you?
Maverick: Calling me Nightfall is just fine. What are you moping around there for?
Shinn: He killed Luna! [Shinn’s mouth twitches, alternating between a grimace and a snarl] They’re leaving me with nothing!
[From the corner of his eye Maverick can see that the Duel is approaching.]
Maverick: Shinn, you can still have vengeance. If you don’t have anything else left you can take vengeance.
[Shinn lifts his face, the camera zooming on his eyes. They are dull, almost dead except for a spark of rage.]
Shinn: Revenge…
Maverick: What else can you do, Shinn? There is no room left for you in this world. You are no longer of this world. So why not let it all burn? What do you have left that ties you here?
[The Duel spots the Phoenix and summarily accelerates into attack speed, pulling out its remaining beam saber. The Phoenix is covered by the shimmering barrier-shield, but Yzak notices that the tips of the cannons might still be vulnerable. Or he will carve out the colony from underneath the enemy Gundam, anything to nullify its technological superiority. The Duel’s beam saber flips around, getting ready for a slash.]
Shinn: I…
[In Shinn’s mind, the flashbacks of his humiliations, of his failures, of what he perceives as his failures form a chaotic parade of internal condemnation. Mayu, his father, his mother. The Freedom. Athrun. Rey. Chairman Durandal. Talia Gladys. And now Lunamaria. The world was mad, quite clearly. In an insane world, what was the point of retaining morals, or even sanity? Yzak. Yzak had failed him, had betrayed him. The blonde man calling himself Nightfall was not what he claimed to be either, Shinn knew. The spark in his eyes flared into a flame.]
Shinn: Let them all burn. I want to see them all burn.
[The Phoenix sidesteps, avoiding the first slash of the Duel’s saber. Targeting while evading is hard, so Maverick rather dispels the reactor cycle and allows the energy to be released from the backpack-mounted extensions. White strands of energy lash out all around the Duel, which evades, dodges, jumps and turns, seemingly impossibly avoiding damage. The Duel summersaults over the Phoenix and deflects two strands with its beam saber; something that Maverick did not know was possible. With a scream of sheer determination, Yzak brings the saber down, but one of the extensions blocks him. This sets the Duel on the defensive, trying to block six at once. Holes and gashes appear on the Duel’s arms where the extensions manage to pass the parries. The Phoenix does not act creatively or even particularly well, but it is steadily devastating the weaker Duel. The Phoenix slams it with all three extensions from the right. Yzak manages to block, but is thrown off the colony’s hull, and right into the view of the Despair. Yzak tries to get his bearings, but is slammed to his seat when the Despair rams into him from the back at an incredible speed and takes off with the smaller Gundam once more.]
Maverick: [to Shinn] Consider this a present.
[Maverick notes that the situation between the Geminis and the SF has changed for the better: Forced to return to recharge, the Dragoons no longer hold back the B1, allowing it to charge the SF. Kira is gasping for breath and sweating as the mental pressure of the twins bores down on him. The Geminis fall back on their usual rhythm of coordinated attacks, which leaves SF open to one of them if it tries to attack the other. The camera jumps back to the Despair and the Duel heading to the rear of the battle, where a few ships are still in the process of making a desperate final stand against the Infinity or fleeing the scene. The camera focuses on the Roanoke, a well-equipped Laurasia-class ship looking to leave the field of engagement. Its hangar doors are still open to admit stragglers. Inside, Voltaire struggles in his commandeered Zaku. His broken metal legs are caught on something, and every move hurts him all the way up to the base of his skull. He finally manages to extract himself from the cockpit, cursing every engineer around him. They are busy getting less dickish pilots out of broken mobile suits and rushing them into the ship’s overcrowded infirmary.]
Voltaire: [grumbles] They dare to ignore their commander. When I get to the bridge, I will …
[Voltaire hears the shouts around him and turns around to look. Through the open hangar bay doors they can see a metallic glint getting bigger fast, coming from the direction of the Beowulfe colony visible in the distance. Someone shouts again, in alarm, that the hangar bay doors need to be closed. On the bridge the captain shouts for their guns to intercept while performing an emergency evasive maneuver. Voltaire cannot believe that two Gundams, belonging to pilots supposedly serving under him, are on a collision course for the ship he is on. In his cockpit, Yzak’s small communications screen shows Shinn’s face.]
Shinn: Goodbye, Yzak.
[The image is cut when the two Gundams, in slow-motion, fly through the interceptive fire of the Roanoke. The Duel, held in front of the pair, is the worst hit.]
Yzak: Athrun, I hope you can make this one count.
[The Despair ploughs the Duel through the closing bay doors of the Roanoke into the hangar deck. Voltaire disappears alongside his Zaku into the massive explosion and flying metal that fills the hangar. Shinn’s face is illuminated by the fires all around as the Despair blasts its way out through the rear of the ship with no Duel in sight. The Roanoke blows up behind him into a ball of fire, consuming the entire ship and its crew. The loss of what the last hammer captains considered their flagship leads to all ships to striking their colors. The Despair, smoldering from all seams but apparently functional, floats out from the explosion. In the end, without knowing it, Yzak did kill Voltaire.
-We will not be caught by surprise!
*Almost everyone I've killed uttered similar last words.
-Then I am glad once again that you are on my side.
*They've often said that too.
Antares
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Re: New fanfic: Gundam Seed Phoenix

So here we are with Episode 61 – All the King’s Men, which is a reference to the great story of Humpty-Dumpty. I hope Athrun can draw some moral comfort from that. :mrgreen:

We’re getting ready for the final stretch, one more chase, one more battle to go.

Also, I might as well mention here that I’ve started rewriting this whole thing out of the script-format into a more novel-oriented approach. The rewrite has so far made the story more concise and shorter, and I feel it really has benefited from this process. Once Phoenix is done in this, its current from, I will probably do it again as a novel, maybe get it under 60 episodes and make it a more enjoyable read.

So, excerpt:
Hilda: Pleasure to meet you. I expect we’ll get to know one another fairly quickly under the circumstances.
Jerry: Hold on, there. What makes you think you are coming with us?
[Hilda glances to her sides to show what she thinks of such an self-evident question.]
Hilda: Considering what has happened, you need all the help you can get, kid.
[Striking a haughtier pose, Hilda realized, a little too late that she antagonized the entire flight-deck of UPA pilots, which was the exact opposite what Lacus suggested she should do.]
Hilda: [to herself] Goddamnit, I am no PR-officer…
Jerry: [sneers] Help, yes. Overbearing dicks with illusions of moral superiority I can do without.
Ash: [admonishingly] Jerry…
[Ash looks to Kurogawa, telling him to diffuse the situation.]
Kurogawa: I apologize for my wingman, miss. But he has a point. This is an UPA mission, and as such, we have jurisdiction. If you are coming with us, you will be serving with us.
Hilda: [guffaws] I have served in two wars, excluding this one, and lost my own wingmen protecting peace. Don’t think you can lecture me like that.
Jerry: [feeling increasingly irate] Losing wingmen is not an accomplishment.
[Hilda goes red in the face, and the Terminal pilots behind her also bristle because of the insult.]
Kurogawa: Jerry, be quiet for once. Miss, I am not lecturing you, but I only want…
Hilda: [interrupts, patience worn thin] You know who I am, address me by rank!
Kurogawa: [calmly] Miss, you’re not with ZAFT, the UPA, and I doubt you are EA either. Paramilitary outfits play their own game. I am willing to discuss with you, and even willing to join forces with you for our mission, but I will not subject my command to an outsider.
Hilda: I serve under Lacus Clyne, and that should be enough to…
Kurogawa: [interrupts, yet calmly] I serve the UPA and its principles. That, I think, is the key difference between us, and one you would do well to pause to consider. [pause] Was that enough time? Good.
Hilda: [voice poisonous] Mere rookies will not give that sort of lip to me and my men.
Ash: We fought three Gundams, and downed one. I wouldn’t call us rookies.
Jerry: Especially when counting how many Gundams you took out. That’s a quick calculation, because it’s zero. I’ll give you credit for hitting the Hammer in the rear, though. Very brave.
[Ash kicks Jerry in the ankle to make him shut up. Kurogawa sighs deep and steps forward to block Hilda from charging at Jerry, which is seems to be something she is currently seriously contemplating.]
Kurogawa: I am sure we will have a chance to chat again when we both know better where we stand, yes?
AND:
[Cagalli looks at Athrun, concerned. She takes his hand in hers as they walk, and he turns to her and smiles.]
Cagalli: [softly] You know who the pilot of the dark Gundam is, right?
Athrun: Yes. It is… complicated. I’ll tell you about him later, in private.
Cagalli: Okay. I will go see Lacus and Kira, just in case.
Athrun: That’s a good idea.
[Athrun looks at Cagalli and hesitates, thinking about saying something. Seeing this, Cagalli squeezes his hand a little too tightly.]
Cagalli: You weren’t thinking of leaving little old me behind, were you? Offering some lame excuse about how dangerous it’s going to be.
Athrun: [wincing] Never crossed my mind.
Cagalli: Good because I am coming with you.
Athrun: [winces again, feeling his knuckles roll over one another] I’m so… ah… happy.
Cagalli: I knew you would be.
[She lets go of his hand, and smiles to him pleasantly.]
-We will not be caught by surprise!
*Almost everyone I've killed uttered similar last words.
-Then I am glad once again that you are on my side.
*They've often said that too.
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