Episode 15 - Roman Defeat [4th]

[Ascension]

-Caroline Tucker

"There will always be others," Caroline repeated with obvious distaste.

She stood to her feet and started shouting at Julian.

"That's supposed to cheer me up? There will always be others to fight and die? There will always be others to serve as futile sacrifices?"

She started to cry, her hot tears floating freely through the air.

"You're right. There will be others. And we are those others. Next time it will probably be me. I should've died a hundred times already. I come from a long line of victims. I probably should never have bothered to aspire to anything more."

[Cybaster]

The continued stoic expression on Julian's face told Caroline clearly enough: he wasn't sorry about what he said.

"You're right, of course." Julian's tone turned a little bitter at that, crossing his arms. By Haman Karn herself! --- he hated Caroline's haplessness. He wished that she'd either learn to desensitize herself soon or at least die trying. "Of course you're right. You should've died, Caroline, and you know why? Because you're pretty much trying to die. When you hang on to people lost too tightly, you're asking yourself to join them --- you won't know you are, but that's what you're being. Hapless as a f****** baby, weighed down by those you've lost, and it's making you lose focus on doing what you should."

A pause.

"I'm not asking you to be heartless, Caroline, but I *am* asking you to save your tears for the day we lose to the Titans and when we're all facing the gallows --- Plenty of time to join those you've lost when you're captured by those jackboots or facing the barrel of some Titans assassin's Beam Rifle. Right now, all I'm asking you to do is to not give the Titans the satisfaction by being a hapless, easy mark for them."

[Ascension]

"Fine!" she said with a huff, "See if I mourn your passing!"

She pushed off of the cockpit hatch, headed for the exit.

"You're wrong, by the way," she called back over her shoulder, "I don't wish to join the dead, not yet. As long as my mother still lives, it is my duty to protect her. I do my best."

[Cybaster]

Fine, then don't. Not like I care. If I'm stupid enough to get caught off-guard and die out there like Vantz did, I don't deserve to be mourned anyway.

That, however, was unsaid, and Julian simply let Caroline stomp off, walking in an opposite direction.

[Fritz Ashlyn]

- Outside Side 2 Shoal Zone -

- The Dervish -
- Ready Room -

Michiko fidgeted in place as she grew increasingly uncomfortable. She didn’t want to just walk away from Bernard while he needed someone to talk to, but she didn’t know how long she could stand to sit in a damp normal suit. "Pathetic creatures aren't we? The Universe is infinite and yet we're fighting for scraps. My advice. After this thing ends...walk away. Seeing too much death just eats you away. You lose a bit of yourself everyday. You being so young, you still have a chance before it affects you... Just leave far away from this mess and raise a family somewhere... teach 'em to respect life..."

Bernard was visibly upset as he continued. "Dammit! What the hell were we doing out there. Both ships full of rookies no less. It was an obvious death trap!" he finished emotionally. Michiko looked down at her hands folded in her lap. “I felt like I owed the Federation something,” she said after a pause, “But now I don’t know if I can ever go back home because of them. And now they may have even taken that choice away from me,”. She shook her head and reluctantly got up. “I need to go see if I’m needed... They might be calling us back out if there’s trouble,”.

- Hallway, Near Ready Room -

Fritz released his grip on MacAlpin’s collar as the younger pilot started talking. "I'm sorry, sir, I thought you were otherwise occupied, and if I remember correctly someone made the mistake of asking me what was wrong. When people ask me questions, I have a habit of answering them. Sorry if my answers aren't to your liking,” Jim said, still on edge. He finally raised his vision from the deck and looked Fritz in the eye. That might have been the first time he had done so legitimately.

"That being said, sir, I suppose now is as good a time as any... I may have overreacted somewhat when I asked to leave the fleet entirely, but I would like to submit a formal request to be transferred to a different vessel. I'm afraid I've made too many enemies on the Dervish. My presence is having a negative effect on unit cohesion. I feel uncomfortable fighting alongside these men and women, and they probably feel uncomfortable fighting alongside me. I don't just want out. I need out. Otherwise the situation's only going to get worse."

Fritz let Jim finish talking and waited a moment before his eyes narrowed and he answered, “Request denied,”. His right hand came to rest against his forehead. As if the mounting fatigue and everything else wasn’t enough, he could feel a headache coming on. Fritz sighed and shook his head. “James,” he began, “the only unit cohesion you should be worried about is Team 1. I made a mistake handing you and Curren off to Lt. Tideland to take care of personal business...”. Fritz stopped momentarily as the ready room door opened and Michiko entered the hallway. They exchanged a glace that was hard to read.

He turned back to Jim and continued in a quieter voice, “Listen. Focus on us, stick with the team and I promise I’ll try to take care of your situation. Sending you to another ship won’t do you any good in the long run, believe me. I’ve seen this kind of thing before. Besides, we can’t just stick you back in a Nemo; you’re too valuable,”. “We’re not here to be your enemies,” he said, gesturing to indicate himself and across the hallway at Michiko.

- The Bridge -

Abbey turned in his seat slightly as Eddie and Ian entered the bridge. Jungst came in right behind them, looking thankful to have gotten rid of Gates. "Any signs they're following us, sir?" Eddie asked, and Pan answered before the captain could speak. “I hope Ltjg. Heyden is right about that. As you can imagine we need to find a spot to put our own asses back together,” Abbey grumbled, shifting in his chair. He straightened his hat and crossed his arms. “I’m starting to get more concrete casualty reports from the other ships, and things look grim. Once Wade and I have gone over a few more things, I’m going to organize a debriefing to try and prevent further morale loss from confusion...”

He grimaced and suppressed a curse. “This, gentlemen, has been an epic clusterf*ck.”

[EZero8]

Curren merely arched an eyebrow when Fritz gave him that disappointed look. And Jack's motions towards him didnt make him feel comfortable in his surroundings. They were all in a bad mood... perhaps besides Clute, nobody was thinking clearly.

"Why did I have to open my big mouth...?" Curren thought at he shook his head. Fritz is probably having a confidence building chat with Slim Jim right now, and they all awaited on something to happen. Curren let out a sigh to try and break his awkward silence.

"So... Clute, Jack. I guess it was nice working with you guys in the past battle," he says.

[Goose]

"So... Clute, Jack. I guess it was nice working with you guys in the past battle."

"Well, things could have gone a lot better, but yeah, it was good working with you," agrees Clute. "I'm sorry if anything I said just now offended you, I was just tryin' to make a point to that boy. No hard feelings?" he asks, extending his hand. He takes a quick look around, and sighs.

"Some days, Wes, I feel like I'm the only sane man in the asylum. I've got Jack with his emotional hang ups, Jacob who's got self-confidence issues, and Celeste who apparently doesn't trust any of us and projects that distrust onto us, accusing us of distrusting her. So it's nice to just fly out there and work together with someone without worrying too much about things."

[mcred23]

- The Dervish -
- Bridge -

The odd guy, whose voice struck Eckardy as equal parts oddly familiar and just a bit too cocky, spoke before Abbey did, "They're holding still," He waved at whatever sensors he was working on, "Prolly too busy putting their a**es back together to pursue us through that rock garden."

Eckardy noticed that Jungst, one of the usual bridge operators, arrived behind him and Ian. "I hope Ltjg. Heyden is right about that," Abbey said, refering to the man at the sensor post. The name seemed very familiar to Eckardy, but again, he didn't remember, or particularly care at the moment, where it was from. "As you can imagine we need to find a spot to put our own asses back together."

Captain Abbey shifted in his seat and fixed his hat on his head, crossing his arms across his chest, "I’m starting to get more concrete casualty reports from the other ships, and things look grim. Once Wade and I have gone over a few more things, I’m going to organize a debriefing to try and prevent further morale loss from confusion..." His voice began to trail off, before his face turned to one of what struck Eddie as disgust, "This, gentlemen, has been an epic clusterf***."

Eckardy and Greydon both nodded in agreement. "No arguments there." Eddie said simply. He had a bunch of questiosn, but correctly assumed now wasn't the time, and the bridge wasn't the place, for the vast majority of them. "S***." He muttered to himself, looking out the bridge windows.

Ian glanced around, although he wasn't even sure why. "Anything we can do, sir?" He asked, turning back to the Captain.

[King Monkey]

Jacob released a breath he didn't realize he was holding as the mechanics and medics pried Celeste out of the wreckage of her Rick Dias. He didn't get a good view of her, but given the hurried way the medics moved her out of the hangar, he knew she was still alive. They wouldn't have bothered if the Mobile Suit had turned out to be her coffin and would have been far more somber about the whole affair.

Pushing off of the ceiling, he rocketed down towards the floor of the hangar. He still wasn't completely comfortable with zero G and he was fairly agitated so he landed awkwardly, having to catch himself on all fours and bouncing off the floor a bit before angling towards the hallway that Celeste and the medical crew used to exit.

He bounced back and forth along the hall before getting a hold on a gripper and pursuing. Unfortunately, the gravity hadn't been reactivated yet anywhere on the ship and he had to ride it all the way. When they got to the infirmary, he lingered on the periphery, unsure of what to do and loathe to get in the way of the professionals looking after his squadmate.

[wonton bob]

- The Dervish -
- Ready Room -

can't go back?

"I wonder what that means" Bernard mutters jokingly as he sips water.

Probably the same reason I just can't go to mine. It's been so long. Will I be accepted? Maybe they're better off.

Bernard sinks back in his seat, folding his arms.

"Nothing to do but wait.."

Wait for the bad news, orders, a new suit or just for all the screams in his head to stop.

[EZero8]

"Tell me about it... Team 1's got their own issues," Wes replies. "Come to think of it, our teams are very much alike. Fritz keeps things from us, Michiko's an emotional wreck sometimes, and Jim... you know about that first hand."

He then shakes Clutes hand (assuming that extension was meant for that), "Just judging from the way things are on the ship, we might end up having to work together again. Open to the possibility?"

[Ascension]

Too... valuable?

Jim found it hard to believe. Here in front of him the near legendary Fritz Ashlyn himself was calling him too valuable to be transferred.

Jim was well aware that there were genuine veterans on the other ships of the small fleet. Not all of the Nemo pilots were experienced, of course, but a good many were... and Fritz was placing him ahead of them. Fritz was prioritizing him, despite all his glaringly obvious faults.

Perhaps there's something to be said for camping amidst one's enemies after all. It helps you stand out from a crowd when you're forced to distance yourself from the group. The social stigma encourages individual achievement.

Finally his suffering was paying off. The recognition he craved was his at last.

The words came slowly, but they came.

"And I'm... I'm not here to be yours... sir."

Jim summoned up a sloppy salute.

[Wedge14]

Pan lept from his chair tossing the headset at it's owner. He made a b-line for the bridge exit shuffling with his carton of cigarettes as he did so. He just nodded to the captain and the others standing around him.

"It was a pleasure..." He said in a low voice.

And with that he slipped out of the bridge just as abruptly as he entered it. Going through the bridge chatter he had concluded that the New Yark was okay. He was slightly relieved to hear this. Sounds like that Melo character had what it takes to be a team leader afterall. Crying shame that Ramon chump didn't get blasted to hell. Oh well maybe next time, and besides it be a shame to miss something like that.

If he was lucky he would be able to get on a shuttle and get sent back to the New Yark pronto. But given the shape of the fleet it was a very low chance of that happening. All the shuttles would be packed with wounded and neccesary parts for repairs and resupplies. A pilot without a mobile suit like him was low on the food chain.

But then again pilots like him could easily pilot these rather simple shuttles. Heyden headed towards the hangar perhaps he'd be able to lend a hand with the mechanics or find a way off this ship.

[Fritz Ashlyn]

- Side 2, L4 -

- The Dervish -
- Bridge -

Beside the captain’s chair, Eddie Eckardy simply agreed with Abbey’s assessment, "No arguments there,”. Behind them, Jungst snatched his spinning headset out of the air and nodded curtly in thanks to Pan as he abruptly left the bridge. “S*hit,” Eddie muttered as he looked out into space ahead of the ship. Ian turned back to the captain after a moment or two of silence and asked, "Anything we can do, sir?".

Abbey thought about it for a few seconds before answering, “Not really, lieutenant,”. He sighed and his vision dropped a bit. “You men did all you could out there, considering the circumstances. Thank you. All of us owe a lot to you and the other pilots. Especially the ones that didn’t come back... Just get what rest you can and stay ready for that meeting when the time comes,”.

He raised his head back up and closed his eyes to take a deep breath. “I’m keeping every able pilot with a working machine on standby, but we’re out of danger for the moment. From Taskforce Echo, anyway. I don’t feel Trent’s pressure any more...

You’re dismissed.”

- Hallway, Near Ready Room -

Fritz could see something was welling up in Jim, and he held his breath for a moment until the younger man finally spoke. "And I'm... I'm not here to be yours... sir,” MacAlpin answered with a salute. Fritz breathed a sigh of relief and lowered his head for a brief second in thanks. Finally some tension was released and this would be one less thing he’d have to deal with all at once. “Thank you,” Fritz responded, returning a salute that was just as sloppy and hurried. Michiko finally approached slowly and looked over both men before asking, “Is everyone okay? Where’s Wes?”.

It dawned on Fritz that while he was talking to Jim he had forgotten about Celeste. He spun around as best he could in the zero-g to look back into the hangar and then down the hallway. “What’s wrong?” Michiko asked, but Fritz had already pushed his way toward a gripper that would take him to sick bay. He turned back and said to Jim, “Remember to talk to me when you have a problem,” before heading off. Michiko, still confused, smiled at Jim before kicking off the floor to follow after Fritz.

- Sick Bay -

To say Dr. Lekarz and his sick bay were overworked at this point would be a vast understatement. By the time Celeste was brought in, the doctor was looking for idle crew nearby to work as volunteers to help with the wounded. He looked her over and rapidly gave instructions to one of the men following him, who took her to one of the few vacant spots in the room. Lekarz ground his teeth and patted the sweat from his brow as he stopped for a breather near the entrance. After begging the captain to restore gravity inside the ship to no avail, he had spent the duration of the battle barely preventing himself from throwing up.

At one point he had restrained Gates so that the sponsor wouldn’t wander around apologizing to everyone who was conscious or not, but not too long ago the man had seemed to snap out of his unsound state, and the doctor had put him to work. Near the sick bay entrance, he spotted Jacob Markado, and gestured wildly for the pilot to come inside. “You hurt, kid? If you’re not, lend us a hand,”.

- The New Yark -
- Bridge -

“Get this, sir,” Rausch said, turning to the captain with a derisive chuckle, “Heyden managed to land on the Dervish and his Nemo is junked,”. Capt. Guanche nodded in acknowledgment and observed, “Considering the fleet’s losses during this engagement, it sounds like we’re a pleasant aberration. I suppose you should contact Lt. Mello and tell him we haven’t lost his man,”. “Aye, sir,” came the reply to both the captain’s thought and the command, and the New Yark continued along behind the Dervish.

- The Hamburg -
- Bridge -

Loweno shook his head and drummed his fingers on the armrest of his chair as he looked up at Capt. Abbey on the main viewscreen. “I don’t like the sound of it,” he said again. His mouth worked in silence as he considered what might happen to them they put this new plan into motion. Abbey nodded in tired agreement, and said, “I agree, honestly, André, but you realize how slow we’ll be going if we try to make the necessary repairs in transit. And you know our laser communication system–“.

“Yeah, I figured that’s what you were getting at,” Capt. Loweno interrupted, frowning. “Besides, if we find a secure area and don’t have any major problems, from what I understand we’ll make it sooner than we would have trying to limp and stumble along,” Abbey continued. The Hamburg’s captain, still making his dissatisfaction obvious, finally relented and nodded in agreement, “Sure. Fine. Let’s make sure we find a real quiet spot to stop, yes? Remember, I don’t have any operational Nemos left,”.

Abbey smiled grimly, “A quiet spot. I don’t think this fleet could find a quiet spot if our lives depended on it, André,”. Loweno raised an eyebrow dramatically and smiled back, “I think they just might, captain,”. Capt. Abbey laughed quietly and said, “Well then, we’re in agreement. Capt. Guanche was all for the idea, anyway. We’re going to leave L4 before we stop, so expect me to call that meeting in three or four hours,”.

[mcred23]

- The Dervish -
- Bridge -

The Captain paused. “Not really, lieutenant." This was followed by a sigh and a slight drop of his head, "You men did all you could out there, considering the circumstances. Thank you. All of us owe a lot to you and the other pilots. Especially the ones that didn’t come back... Just get what rest you can and stay ready for that meeting when the time comes." Abbey's head came back up, eyes closed, as he took a deep breath, "I’m keeping every able pilot with a working machine on standby, but we’re out of danger for the moment. From Taskforce Echo, anyway. I don’t feel Trent’s pressure any more..." He almost trailed off before adding, "You’re dismissed.”

Eckardy and Greydon both nodded. "Jawohl," Eddie said with a weak grin, tossing in a two-fingered saltue as the two pilots headed for the hatch. Eddie and Jane exchanged smiles once more, and then the Team 2 pilots were out of the bridge and the door closed.

The two pilots started moving before coming to an intersection of hallways when they stopped, Eckardy sighing, "Now what?" Ian gave a shrug, which prompted another sigh from Eckardy, "S***... Well, since we are still on standby, I'm going to the hanger." He started moving in that direction.

Ian didn't. "I'll be down in a little bit, I..." He trailed off and glanced around, "I-I just don't feel like going down there right now, ya'know what I mean?" Ian's exhausted tone said more than the words did.

Eckardy nodded, grinning weakly again, "Hit the ready room and pass out. You'll get woken if we need some more old men." Eckardy's grin almost returned to it's usual manner. Almost. Ian nodded and headed off down the hall towards the ready room, where the couches seemed very appealing for even a few minutes of sleep.

Eckardy took another hall, it led to the hanger just the same, but didn't pass the ready room and was slightly more direct from the bridge. He grabbed a nearby lift grip and went on his way.

[King Monkey]

"Um...okay..." Markado answered none too certainly. He remained hovering near the entrance, watching the hectic bustle going on inside the infirmary. "I didn't want to get in the waaaaay...." One of the nurses latches onto his hand and drags him into the sick bay.

Within moments, he finds himself treating an injured crewman from one of the destroyed ships with horrible burns. There were far too many parts of a starship that contained substances heated to levels that humans were never meant to survive and just being close when one of these containers ruptured was grounds to be crippled or killed.

This man was only doing his job and now he would be scarred for the rest of his life, if he survived at all. Jacob could do nothing for him but clean his wounds, voicing hurried apologies when he was too rough and the pain ate through even the drugs the man had been given to fight it.

This was nothing like the stories. In the stories, the bad guy died, usually cleanly or ironically due to his own hubris and the good guy lived, though he might suffer stoically through a savage wound. There was none of this moaning and writhing and suffering for hours and days as the human body struggled defiantly to live in the face of odds that would make it far easier to just give up and die.

It made him think of his kill. He couldn't help but wonder if the man, or woman, he thought as he looked at Ltjg. Angelina, suffered before dying. Did the fire burn him before he died or was his life snuffed out instantly?

Jacob fought down the lump that rose in his throat and tried to focus on helping the injured people in the infirmary. As hard as the work was, it was far easier than facing his conscience.

[Goose]

"Tell me about it... Team 1's got their own issues. Come to think of it, our teams are very much alike. Fritz keeps things from us, Michiko's an emotional wreck sometimes, and Jim... you know about that first hand. Just judging from the way things are on the ship, we might end up having to work together again. Open to the possibility?"

"I'm always open to possibilities," grins Clute, as he shakes Wes' hand. "It's part of my attempt to live life positvely. Sure thing. We went in without practicing together and we did a real number on those Titans Sallies, if I say so myself. Although... they were moving pretty well for ships who'd gotten their bridges shot up."

"Combat bridge," says Jack suddenly, as he watches Jacob follow the medical team that brings Celeste away. "If the hits to the bridge didn't work, then they must have been in the combat bridge. Your view sucks, but you can drive and fight from there, and it's a lot less vulnerable than the main bridge. On the other hand, escaping in case of emergency is harder."

He pauses for a while, and Clute shakes his head ruefully, before saying to Wes, "Well, I guess we'll need to doubleteam those Sallies next time," he grins wryly.

[EZero8]

"No problem. Teaming up to take out Sally-K's would be nice," Wes says with his own grin/near-smirk. "Just need to bash up the ships until they start panicking. The end result should be simple once we take out the engines and strand them."

He then let out a sigh, "Which reminds me... how many ships did we lose in the end? I heard that this fleet's former flag bit the dust. Anymore besides that one?"

They should have been called up for a debrief by now... but with everyone shuffling around, that doesnt appear to be happening anytime soon.

[Cardi Doorl]

- Salamis Kai-class Chuikov -
- Mobile Suit Bay -

Lt. Jonas Anderson had been the last one to land on the Chuikov after the team was recalled. Even after he was cleared to exit his Nemo, he remained inside for a moment. Vantz Howard swam through his thoughts, but for a different reason than Caroline Tucker's.

In any case, neither Jonas nor his team could afford to brood in isolation for long. This was especially so after that last fight, which, from what Jonas could gather, had been a disaster for the 4th Advance Squadron overall. After having been so relieved from not losing any subordinates on Luna - his first time being given the responsibility of leading a suit team, really - Jonas now knew the crushing opposite feeling.

Nevertheless, he kicked out from his Nemo's cockpit to see both Julian Meighan and Caroline around the suit bay.

How long was I sitting in that cockpit? Quit letting yourself get sloppy, Jonas.

Caroline was essentially already out the door by the time Jonas touched down. He'd need to talk to her later. Julian was closer for the moment, though.

"Ltjg. Meighan," murmured Jonas, keeping his tone as even as possible, "You did a damn good job out there. Try not to get yourself isolated like you did for a while, though. I thought I'd lost you."

[Cybaster]

"Thanks, sir," Was Julian's answer, giving Jonas a brief salute just for protocol's sake. "And about that earlier, see...well, I spotted an enemy sniper circling around our team, so I hastily made a judgment call and tried to disable him as quickly as possible. I'm sorry I strayed too far, though. I'll do my best not to pull too much distance from now on."