(To the tune of
Can't Beat Airman:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hUVdA9ABzpg. This will be the song I submit for judging.)
When I realize it
That the Trinary of three was now just two
And the one missing for all ages has left a big hole;
We are not Mario,
And so we can't jump over, and with RPGs bearing down
So many characters left in the void!
So we mass an army of spam together
And we sent them with Probe Droids all around the world, but
No matter what we do
No matter what we do
We! Just can't find! Cardi~~at all! We try his Mechatalk PM, but it's dead as a doornail today!
We wait through the outbox to see if he's read it at all, but it's always in there, never gets touched at all!
So we try his e-mail, off to Hotmail, let's track him down, but Cardi is onto our game, doesn't answer!
So just to make sure that Cardi walks right in here,
I'll save that Hacker Trojan Horse Worm for the very last day!
First in TftF,
The man who runs the Titans and makes them more
Than just cardboard Nazis, he runs off, before Axis hits...
And in T-A-R-R-
The C in C&W, he disappears without a trace
Without C, the C&W goes bankrupt!
Then Fritz rumors that he's a ped,
And so we change our plans in the hopes of luring him, but
No matter how we try
No matter how we try
We! Just can't catch! Cardi~~at all! Strike Zero brings in Strike Witches, but with no pantyshots Cardi's not interested!
So Axis starts amassing some of their Puru Clones, but Puru's real annoying, so no dice there either!
Then we tie up little Miss D&D on the front lawn, but Pedobear got to him first and he no-shows!
So just to make sure that Cardi takes the bait, see,
I'll have to find more pics of Puru out on 4chan and Gel~!
So we mass an army of spam together
And we sent them with Probe Droids all around the world, but
No matter what we do
No matter what we do
We! Just can't find! Cardi~~at all! We RP some terrorism, but Cardi isn't even reading the boards now!
We throw some ideas for a new Macross RPG, but Macross has no lolis so no dice, either!
We have Fritz and mcred harass his mail around the clock, but if we blow up the Mods then there is no game!
So just to make sure that Cardi comes back and see,
We'll have to tie him up on the lawn
and let Zombies eat his braaaaaaains!!!...
Can't find Cardi..._________________
"MISSION 2: DESTROY AN ENEMY AIRCRAFT CARRIER. Alright. Fine.
As long as I don't have to f*cking land on it!!!"
-Angry Video Game Nerd,
NES Top Gun review
I'm keeping the winnings for myself and putting them towards a new pack of gum.