Life's LMAOs

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DAG101
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Re: Life's LMAOs

Post by DAG101 » Sat Jun 26, 2010 12:45 am

tehprognoob wrote:Um...just go to your neighborhood second hand soul dealer. Don't you have those where you live?
Nope, just powertripping cops, drug dealers, and incompetent school teachers. What a great country I live in...

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tehprognoob
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Re: Life's LMAOs

Post by tehprognoob » Sat Jun 26, 2010 9:51 am

Wow, second page already :D
Flight was delayed for two hours yesterday because of a brake problem, and forgot that I turned off Ethernet so I couldn't get on line for hours :(
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tehprognoob
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Re: Life's LMAOs

Post by tehprognoob » Sun Jun 27, 2010 1:13 pm

Has anyone ever sat eating a hot dog, only to have a bird snatch it away? Happened to me twice so far, in less than 10 minutes. those damn birds just sit on a tall fence like prowling dive bombers that just swoop down and jack your food...they just stand there and look up with open beaks, like they expect to be fed.
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unclle
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Re: Life's LMAOs

Post by unclle » Wed Jun 30, 2010 2:54 am

i understand your pain, whenever i decide to eat outside i feel as if birds are following me just waiting to steel my food,then again i cart really blame them seeing as im the same way when it comes to food lol being a poor student will do that to you.

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tehprognoob
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Re: Life's LMAOs

Post by tehprognoob » Wed Jun 30, 2010 1:38 pm

that thing literally mugged me-a bird flew right under my nose and ripped a chunk off of my hot dog :(
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Re: Life's LMAOs

Post by Arbiter GUNDAM » Thu Jul 01, 2010 4:34 pm

Don't know if this counts as a LMAO, maybe just FAIL.

So I'm at the airport right now. Orlando international has trams that connect to the terminals. We get on one tram, just following some people, and halfway through some guy asks what gate some people are going to. They say like 100 or something. This guy freaks out and says he needed the other terminal. On a hunch I look at my ticket and oh snap! I need to go to the other terminal too!! ARGH!
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tehprognoob
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Re: Life's LMAOs

Post by tehprognoob » Thu Jul 01, 2010 5:16 pm

That's just like on Lucky Star-waiting forever, only to find that you're on the wrong line.
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Re: Life's LMAOs

Post by Antares » Fri Jul 02, 2010 3:59 am

If we go to LMAOs that originate in FAIL, my work is a veritable collection of those. Tools and database and the 'tards that are associated with either seem to blow my mind every now and again. The latest bit was me reporting a critical failure in our database that I managed to create a workaround for (which entails 1-2h of monkey-work for me). The second I mentioned about the workaround the tossers had the nerve to visibly relax since they would not have to do anything about it right away. So, they smiled at me and promised a fix in before Christmas. It wasn't exactly a LMAO-situation, considering I was close to flinging my laptop at his face. :P

Although I from their perspective we're all probably whiny morons. Luckily there is IT Crowd to put this into perspective.
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Re: Life's LMAOs

Post by Seraphic » Mon Jul 05, 2010 9:03 pm

Sorry, DAG. The souls are not on loan. I know I'm kinda talking about them like currency, but it's all just a whimsical jab at both God and the devil. (Seraph is the third party gathering souls, lol.) Anyway, it's just amusing to me to be able to say that I own souls.

(And I figure we should stop talking about this soon before I derail the thread.)

***

A while ago I was eating a burger outside where a grackle (a black bird) came to beg for scraps. I tossed a piece of tomato to him (not because I didn't want it but because it fell out of my burger.) To my surprise, he did not eat the tomato but instead ate all of the mayonnaise off of it. ....I suppose it must have a really specialized diet from begging for scraps all its life. o_o

***

The other day I saw a tow truck with a flat tire. =3

***

Yesterday I watched the first Batman movie on TV with my friend Chingawala. He is a lifelong fan, and Batman is his childhood hero. He was upset with me for criticizing some of the physics in the film. After one particular scene we had this exchange:

Seraph: "I'm sorry. Something just didn't seem physically sound in that scene."
Chingawala: "It's BATMAN. He does the impossible!"
Seraph: "No he doesn't! That's the point of Batman."

Batman's superpower is money. =o
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tehprognoob
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Re: Life's LMAOs

Post by tehprognoob » Tue Jul 06, 2010 8:53 am

Eating only mayo...
A while back, I saw this bird whose shape was that of a really rectangular trapezoid. It was like a little walking bundle of fat.
Wonder how it would taste grilled over a cedar fire.
(Imagines fat droplets of oil hissing against a crackling fire as a fat bird browned over it, and all the aromas of a fat, roasted pigeon wafting through nostrils.)
Mmmm...
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Re: Life's LMAOs

Post by Big B » Wed Jul 07, 2010 12:08 pm

Some wonderful customer stories:

I had a lady come up to me and ask for vegetarian vegetables.
--------------
I had a guy come in and get irate about us having one size of cereal on sale which didn't include the flavor he liked. Subsequently, he ranted and raved about suing for false advertising...yes, over a box of cereal.
--------------

Someone called into a store that was known to be open 24/7 and asked when they closed or opened.
--------------

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Re: Life's LMAOs

Post by Arbiter GUNDAM » Thu Jul 08, 2010 1:18 pm

Went to a fire works show on the 3rd. It was good but ended kinda abruptly. As I'm driving off, the fireworks start up again! I thought $(%$*(&^^!!!!!!! What the heck??!!

Later it turns out that the reason it stopped was becuase a charge misfired and caught some people on fire in the stadium where this was happening. I wasn't in the stadium, so I didn't know that at the time. Ah, it's all fun and games until people catch fire... then it's hilarious. :twisted:
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Areku
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Re: Life's LMAOs

Post by Areku » Sun Jul 11, 2010 2:35 am

MBF-06/ZGMF-X12A Arbiter wrote:Ah, it's all fun and games until people catch fire... then it's hilarious. :twisted:
I understand that it was just a joke, but consequences of professional fireworks accidents aren't exactly the funniest thing out there. Like when they end with one less person, for example.

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tehprognoob
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Re: Life's LMAOs

Post by tehprognoob » Wed Jul 21, 2010 2:33 pm

Cockroaches....
One of them ran into my bathtub while I was sitting on the toilet in plain view. That motherZOINKS was a good 3 inches long, not counting the whiskers, which makes it about 6 inches in total. (About 19-25 centimeters, I'd say.) Stomped him twice and washed him with cold water at full blast but he actually crawled out of the drain again. You'd think that these things were made out of Gundanium or something >_<
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Dark Duel
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Re: Life's LMAOs

Post by Dark Duel » Wed Jul 21, 2010 4:46 pm

Reminds me of one time a cockroach crawled out of God-only-knows-where and followed me from the bathroom into my bedroom.
It then proceeded to crawl up the wall and onto the windowsill...the window being opened, I slammed it down and crushed the little pest.
Spent 20 minutes cleaning cockroach guts off my windowsill after that.
Batman's superpower is money. =o
See, you just reminded me of that absurd scene in Batman & Robin when George Clooney and whatever's the name of that punk who played Robin are arguing over who gets to dae Uma Thurman, and George Clooney whips out a friggin' credit card from his utility belt. (Okay, I thought it was funny back when I was like, ten, and I didn't realize how god-awful that movie was)

He's BRUCE FREAKING WAYNE! He doesn't need a credit card, he's richer than Bill Gates!
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tehprognoob
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Re: Life's LMAOs

Post by tehprognoob » Wed Jul 21, 2010 5:20 pm

Okay, lol, I don't know if my laptop got infected, but...Apparently, MechaTalk contains elements from icons.iconator.com or something that contains malware.

http://farm5.static.flickr.com/4123/481 ... 1261_b.jpg

This is really kinda LMAO. Is MechaTalk trying to hack us ?! :S
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ShadowCell
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Re: Life's LMAOs

Post by ShadowCell » Wed Jul 21, 2010 5:29 pm

That would be DAG101's avatar.

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tehprognoob
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Re: Life's LMAOs

Post by tehprognoob » Fri Oct 08, 2010 6:56 pm

AHHHHHHHHH-ffffff&@$
my hand got stuck between four football helmet masks in a massive pile >_< i can still see the lump on my middle finger.
@@@
got a 55 on a test, because i put all the right answers-all in the wrong places :lol:.
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Re: Life's LMAOs

Post by Antares » Tue Oct 12, 2010 7:00 am

Well, maybe this counts. I've been doing kung fu for about 18 months now and it's loads of fun. We have a pretty mixed group, the youngest being 15 and the oldest being 33 (not me, mind you) and various skill-levels and bodymass. Occasionally we get matched up for sparring with someone who would never meet in actual matches. It's useful because it forces you to switch tactics and so on.

Anyway, I was paired up a week ago with the 15-year-old girl, and we did something I would maybe translate as "harderning", meaning we bash arms and legs together in rapid succession to harden those points of contact so when you actually do have block a real hit, it doesn't hurt as much. So I was banging my arms with those of a girl almost half my age and less than half my size. After 10 minutes I had to call it quits because my arms had gone numb, from pain. She was fine (and a little confused why I gave up). Later last week my arms from about elbow to wrist took on colors I've never seen on (healthy) tissue before. Massaging and cold treatment kept them usable and I could train again later that week but no hardening. The teen expressed surprise I was still hurting; she was absolutely fine. So yeah, I am a wussy, I know.

Yesterday we were sparring again, and I was paired up with the same teen, mostly because she dominates everyone else close to her age/size, to give her a challenge. She did OK, but couldn't quite reach me. So, she switched to kicks. When she went up on one leg, I lunged forward in a proper Hadōken counter, slamming both arms into her and sent her flying about 3 meters to land on her back. Now, I didn't aim to hit that hard, nor did I aim to injure her in revenge or anything, and, luckily enough, I didn't. But it gave pause to pretty much everyone but the situation was resolved by a nice laugh had by all. Phew. And at least it was established I can beat up foes considerably smaller and younger than myself. Go me. :P
-We will not be caught by surprise!
*Almost everyone I've killed uttered similar last words.
-Then I am glad once again that you are on my side.
*They've often said that too.

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tehprognoob
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Re: Life's LMAOs

Post by tehprognoob » Tue Oct 12, 2010 12:58 pm

loool ive seen so many 5 or 4 feet linemen on my team beat the crap out of bigger guys on the line.
anyway, as i was bending down to dump sharpener debris i ran straight onto a mounted pencil sharpener. i actually collapsed onto my knees and screamed lol.
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