Life's LMAOs

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tehprognoob
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Life's LMAOs

Post by tehprognoob » Tue Jun 08, 2010 8:57 pm

Anything funny happen to you lately?
C'mon, guys, let's make this a discussion thread worth poems and songs of praise by all prosperity!

To start this off, I'm getting threats on FaceBook for a picture I posted. How cool is that?
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Re: Life's LMAOs

Post by Fritz Ashlyn » Tue Jun 08, 2010 9:05 pm

Well in about 3 years I'll owe the government over $100,000 to repay student loans for law school! Man, my life is a laugh riot right now.

Actually on topic, I found out a couple of days ago that an inside joke/catchphrase I started in high school is still being used by students there over five years after my graduation. I'm sure if I spoke to one of them and tried to claim it they'd call me a liar.
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tehprognoob
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Re: Life's LMAOs

Post by tehprognoob » Wed Jun 09, 2010 3:02 pm

LOL. I feel your pain. And you have this economy with you, too.
And I'm pretty sure that this joke I invented in 6th grade is probably going to stand till reunion in like 10 years.
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Re: Life's LMAOs

Post by Dark Duel » Wed Jun 09, 2010 3:27 pm

it's less of a LOL, but since we're talking. I personally know the person responsible for starting the old "Johnny Depp as the Riddler in the next Batman movie" rumor.
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Re: Life's LMAOs

Post by tehprognoob » Wed Jun 09, 2010 3:54 pm

Who?
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Re: Life's LMAOs

Post by Dark Duel » Wed Jun 09, 2010 9:00 pm

Nobody of particular significance, just a friend of mine.
// ART THREAD // NOT ACCEPTING REQUESTS
// GUNPLA THREAD //

"You can learn all the math in the 'verse, but take a boat in the air you don't love, she'll shake you off just as sure as the turn of the worlds. Love keeps her in the air when she ought to fall down. Tells you she's hurting before she keens. Makes her a home."

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Re: Life's LMAOs

Post by tehprognoob » Thu Jun 10, 2010 7:50 am

You know what's really stupid? Here I am taking a placement test, and there's about 900 students here, and they told us to come by 7:30, and they don't open the doors until 7:45.
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Re: Life's LMAOs

Post by Areku » Thu Jun 10, 2010 8:22 pm

tehprognoob wrote:You know what's really stupid? Here I am taking a placement test, and there's about 900 students here, and they told us to come by 7:30, and they don't open the doors until 7:45.
Sounds like life to me...

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Re: Life's LMAOs

Post by tehprognoob » Thu Jun 10, 2010 8:23 pm

Hell yea. And when I got to the food at lunch, around 300 people ahead of me took all the good stuff. That is life, too.
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Re: Life's LMAOs

Post by Seraphic » Fri Jun 11, 2010 12:59 am

I think Morgan Freeman should be Vegeta in the next Dragonball movie. Morgan Freeman can do anything. And I would die happy seeing Morgan Freeman turn Super Saiyan.

"What does the scouter say??"

***

A while ago a friend of mine was trying to test out this pepper spray of hers because she hadn't had any practice using it. While thinking she was releasing the safety on the thing, she accidentally pushed down the trigger while it was aimed at me.

I think subconciously I was expecting that to happen, because when the spray went off I dodged it almost instantaneously by turning to the side and letting the stream fly past me. I think Jet Li uses the same type of dodge against guns in some of his movies. It did catch my arm slightly though. It had a rather interesting effect because it made my skin hurt but it didn't burn. Good to know.

Anyway, she was really surprised to see how fast I was. In all honesty I am very surprised, too. Fukken dodged a bullet like JET LI, man!! =p

Morale of the story: only give pepper spray to people who can handle it.

***

Forgive me for the vulgarity of this story, but whenever I am very frustrated (at people) I think of this and I just can't help but laugh because of how horrible it is.

So my two blood brothers were visiting me last summer and we ended up getting caught in traffic for pretty much an entire afternoon. And the heat was just unbearable, even with the AC of Belini's new car running at max. We're all just completely miserable because we should have spent this short amount of time together doing something better than driving around in traffic.

Eventually, we are almost home and get stuck behind a stoplight which takes an ETERNITY to ever turn green, and all the drivers around us are just being real douchebags--pulling in front of us, moving as slow as possible, et cetera.

So Belini starts to vent to me saying he'll lose it and just start attacking the cars in front of us, keying them, stabbing their tires and whatnot. So I offer a horrible suggestion:

"What if we just shat on their car?"

He laughs, pointing, "Yeah, just go in the bushes over there, pick up a handful and throw it at them!"

I correct him, "No, I mean just jumping on the hood, squatting over the windshield, and just showing them how much you hate them."

This just about kills him, and we laugh so hard it hurts.

So, whenever I'm frustrated (usually about traffic), which is rare anyway, I'll think of this, and it makes me feel better to know how far I can take vengeance on the world. I mean, squatting over a plate of glass as someone underneath watches you unleash your RRAAAAAAAAAAEEGG!!! Just to know how vulgar and horrible you can be or how much you can violate someone's eyesight....there is something wonderful about that.
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Re: Life's LMAOs

Post by tehprognoob » Fri Jun 11, 2010 10:54 am

Lol, imagine if you actually shat on their car. That would be disgusting but hilarious.
I'm surprised. So many of our members have such lmfao stories.
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Re: Life's LMAOs

Post by Wingnut » Fri Jun 11, 2010 12:51 pm

Seraphic wrote:***

A while ago a friend of mine was trying to test out this pepper spray of hers because she hadn't had any practice using it. While thinking she was releasing the safety on the thing, she accidentally pushed down the trigger while it was aimed at me.

I think subconciously I was expecting that to happen, because when the spray went off I dodged it almost instantaneously by turning to the side and letting the stream fly past me. I think Jet Li uses the same type of dodge against guns in some of his movies. It did catch my arm slightly though. It had a rather interesting effect because it made my skin hurt but it didn't burn. Good to know.

Anyway, she was really surprised to see how fast I was. In all honesty I am very surprised, too. Fukken dodged a bullet like JET LI, man!! =p

Morale of the story: only give pepper spray to people who can handle it.

***
It's no different from knowing to properly fire a gun. It's still a weapon and the user should know fully how to use it before actually firing it for real even if it is just for practice.
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Re: Life's LMAOs

Post by Seraphic » Fri Jun 11, 2010 1:21 pm

Wingnut wrote:Wingnut is not amused.
Yes, I know this. I was the one who asked if she even knew how to use it, and apparently not because she ended up hurting ME instead. Self defense weapons really should be taken more seriously than they are. But, you know, they're the general populous and all that jazz.....
"Red particles are bad, they mutate you into... dead? But green/blue particles are good, apparently, for reasons and for purposes yet to be determined. Isn't science sometimes nicely color-coded?"
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Re: Life's LMAOs

Post by Antares » Fri Jun 11, 2010 2:16 pm

Not exactly a LMAO but a sharable moment either way. At the job where I work the subcontractor's project manager just basically up and left. They trained this new guy to take her place, and with the usual craziness of a usual Friday when everything needs to wrapped and packaged so next week can start from a clean desk he was a little overwhelmed. One of the files he needed to deliver was over 24 hours late. Then he called me to tell me the file has been corrupted, but they salvaged the contents to clipboard, so if I could send them the file again they could do a bit creative copy&pasting.

I sent the file and shortly I got it back. Yes, the same file. The one with the data I already had. His signoff message was so enthused and proud that he had managed to get a potential crisis sorted (I leave at 5 pm every Friday, and if the file isn't on my desk by then... well...). Instead of chewing the poor kid out, I wrote a message to him in his native language that went approximately like this:
"Hi there. Sure is a nice Friday. I hope you aren't too busy right now. Maybe get a cup of coffee and take a deep breath. After you've done that, please replace the file just delivered with the one with the requested changes in it. I'll be waiting for it. Best regards, etc."

I do realize that could be understood sarcastically as well but I went to great pains for formulate the message so he could tell I wasn't making fun of his inexperience. I got the correct file in twenty minutes with abject apologies and thanks for being so understanding. Didn't cost me a dime, didn't make me leave work late and I made someone's day a little more endurable.

Of course, if he keeps waffling like this for more than two weeks then it's time to break out the ol' cat-o'-nine-tails. :mrgreen:
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Re: Life's LMAOs

Post by Seraphic » Sun Jun 13, 2010 11:40 am

Did you guys know that I own six souls, excluding my own?
"Red particles are bad, they mutate you into... dead? But green/blue particles are good, apparently, for reasons and for purposes yet to be determined. Isn't science sometimes nicely color-coded?"
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Re: Life's LMAOs

Post by tehprognoob » Sun Jun 13, 2010 1:42 pm

So you're like a cat o' nine tails, just with seven?
I've got a bug to report.
What was God's # again?

Or is this a feature? ;)
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Re: Life's LMAOs

Post by Seraphic » Tue Jun 15, 2010 10:16 am

No, they are souls I acquired through verbal contracts.

And, no, I don't have them with me right now because they are just in my name. In a sense, you can say that I have them on lease to my tenants.
"Red particles are bad, they mutate you into... dead? But green/blue particles are good, apparently, for reasons and for purposes yet to be determined. Isn't science sometimes nicely color-coded?"
-Antares

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Re: Life's LMAOs

Post by tehprognoob » Tue Jun 15, 2010 4:09 pm

Ah. I understand...
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Re: Life's LMAOs

Post by DAG101 » Thu Jun 24, 2010 2:55 am

Seraphic wrote:Did you guys know that I own six souls, excluding my own?

That's some great business skills there! Except that you can't own a soul...you ARE a soul, you OWN a body (yes, I'm aware that the whole 'soul' concept is (a) unproven and (b) open to interpretation--just being argumentative! :lol: ). But anyway...can I rent out a soul or something? I think I beat mine almost to death almost exactly three months ago, and then drowned it to death a little over a week ago.

And there's nothing really LMAO-ish in my life at the moment.

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Re: Life's LMAOs

Post by tehprognoob » Thu Jun 24, 2010 9:37 am

Um...just go to your neighborhood second hand soul dealer. Don't you have those where you live?
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