Well, this is a gundam series i created a long time ago, im guessing about two years. I made it for my website/forum and even used people from the forum, as characters. Those people specifically, will be obvious, because they do not have anything resembling, real names (ok some more than others...you'll see what i mean ha ha), which is part of it's charm some one told me once ha ha. I just figured i don't have the right to use someone's real name and i just didnt wanna create new names. Anywho, the first 9 episodes date back to 2006, but the last 4 i made were created earlier this year. Hopefully, posting this on a forum like this will motivate me to continue the story... eventually >_>;;
Anyway, enjoy... i hope XD
[Prelude]
Gundam Bushido:
Way of the Gundam
By Tgjanlee
In the year 2065, a global war was begun. Nations as such the United Emirates of America (A merger of all North American Countries), the Reunited Soviet Protectorate (Russia along with several other Eurasian nations), the British Empire, Germany, Japan and other such powerful nations were at odds with each other over such things as land, money, racism. Africa and the Middle East were now dust due to over aggressive war tactics and unsanctioned nuclear warfare. New and more powerful weapons were being created known as Mobil Armors. Few nations were able to keep their neutrality during the war. These nations soon became over crowded and immigration soon became illegal in most neutral nations. After a decade of fighting and chaos, peace negotiations finally began to form. Half the world was uninhabitable so there was only one place left to go. A plan to create large living facilities on the moon began.
It was planned that one tenth of earth’s populations would move into outer space. A massive facility called the BioDeck was created on the moon and three satellite facilities were created. Fifteen years after the plan was launched, the first humans moved to space. At first, only those who could afford it populated the lunar nation. Eventually it became cheaper to live on the moon and more BioDecks were constructed. More and more people abandoned Mother Earth and after decades, the earth was regarded as a jungle and a wasteland. All the big nations had folded and the radiation took its toll on unfortunate population of earth. The nations of the moon formed the Central Orbital Republic Alliance, or CORAL.
As many more decades went by, it was evident that the earth’s radiation level had reduced immensely, and the moon was becoming itself over populated. Along with more satellite nations, CORAL tried spread its influence back to Earth. The Earth Nations were not having this and refused to allow CORAL influence them, thus eventually erupting into a full scale war between Earth and the BioDecks. Ancient machines called Mobil Armors from the previous wars were used and new kind of war machine called the Mobil Suit was introduced by CORAL. CORAL eventually, with their superior technology was able to take control the earth and CORAL was deemed “The Hierarchyâ€. A few of the stronger rebel nations are still fighting strong today. CORAL had underestimated the Earth and it's large supply of resouces. A year has passed since the war began and CORAL has developed what they consider the Ultimate War Machines. The Gundams. The Capital of Coral is hosting a public viewing of the new technology in hope's to intimidate the earth nations and put up a smoke screen over what else they are intending to develop. Little does CORAL know, that thier new technology is not as safe as they think.
New: Gundam Bushido- Way of the Gundam- Eps 1
New: Gundam Bushido- Way of the Gundam- Eps 1
Last edited by Tgjanlee on Mon Jul 28, 2008 3:18 pm, edited 1 time in total.
....why leave this open to insert images! GAHHHH
Gundam Bushido:
Way of the Gundam
By Tgjanlee
Episode 1- GUNDAM
The year is 2141. An entire year has past since the beginning of the war between the Coral and Earth Separatist began. Primo Terra, the first rebuilt city on earth by Coral is holding an air show today at their military base. They will be showing off their new Mobil Suits. The so called Gundams are said to be by far the most advanced weaponry ever created by man kind. Our story begins with a young man by the name of Evan Brock.
Mrs. Brock- Evan! Get up! You’re going to be late for school! Don’t make me use the vacuum cleaner again.
Evan- All right, all right, im up dammit women. Sheesh.
Mrs. Brock- Excuse me! What did you say to me? I should smack you one across the face for talking to me like that.
Evan- Yeah, I’m sorry.
Mrs. Brock- That what I like to hear now come on down quick so you can get some breakfast. You have a big day today.
Evan- Oh yeah (Evan quickly does his morning ritual, pops his school clothes on which consist of a pair of slacks a button down shirt and a tie. After today though, he may not ever have to wear that stupid school uniform ever again).
A broadcast on the Television comes on as Evan is sitting at the table. His dad is at the table reading a news paper and his sister, Kansas is eating her cereal. Evan’s mom is listing closely to the TV as if waiting to hear something specific.
Kansas- Hey Evan, you ready for today?
Evan- uh, yeah. Dad, are you gonna be there today?
Mr. Brock- Hmm? Oh yes, I will be there. They have very high expectations of you today Evan. I suggest you get in the right mind set for today. And you better be there on time, I don’t want to see you showing up a half hour late like you did last time.
Evan- Yes father. I apologize again for what happened.
Mr. Brock- Good, then I will see you after school today.
Evan- Yes Father
Mr. Brock exits out the door and heads toward his car and takes out his phone to call some one. He steps into the car. There are two men waiting for him. One man is named Edward Valentino and the other Stephen Ulrich. Valentino is a headstrong man who is an expert in military combat. He is a General in the Coralian Army. The other man is rather large but carries a smile on his face. He is a very smart man and is an advisor to Mr. Brock.
Ulrich- Chairman Brock, how are ya buddy!
Valentino- sir, good morning
Mr. Brock- General, Mr. Ulrich. Are preparations for today ready?
Ulrich- They sure are. The show today is going to be quiet entertaining sir. Are new Mobil suits are prepped and ready for combat.
Valentino- Sir about this air show today. I don’t see how much good this can do us. Showing off our weapons to the civilians. It’s just asking for spies. Then you intend on leaving the suits in the hands of those children.
Mr. Brock- Yes I do General. Today we are only showing the tip of of our new technology. The Rebels will be bowing down to us in no time with our new weapons.
Ulrich- Don’t be so stingy General, what could go wrong today. Our base is the most heavily guarded on the planet, no bastard spies would dare interfere in our plans.
Valentino stares at him in disgust. He isn’t used to being talked to like that. The car arrives at the base and the three exit the car and continue their discussion in Mr. Brock’s office. Meanwhile, Evan has left his house and is heading towards school. He notices two girl’s in a lower grade across who had rolled up their skirts very high. He is about to go over and hit on them when out of no where his friend Antonio Lopez hits him from behind
Antonio- What’re you doing kid? Staring at those girl’s across the street? You’re a pervert.
Evan- Wha..no, dude get off me!
Antonio- Man you always flip out when I catch you doing something perverted ha ha.
Evan- Hell, at least I’m not as perverted as Keita. He’s got all those fucking pornos stuffed into his backpack and under his bed.
Antonio- At least he’s open about it. Shit I’ll admit, I’m a pervert too. Those girl’s over their. They’re perverts. It’s the circle of Ero my friend. We’re all perverts. Huzzah for perverts! (Followed by a stupid pose)
Evan- dude, shut up before I punch you in the face. You ready for today or not?
Antonio- I was born for this day kid. We’re gonna blow those bigwigs out of their damn seats.
Meanwhile, across town, a group of people are gathering inside an apartment building. A group of about 12 or so people in there. Some of them have Coral military uniforms on. These are in fact members of a rebel nation. They had snuck into Primo Terra with plans to spy on Coral’s new weapons. A man known as Siruke is explaining the operation.
Siruke- Okay boys. Those bastards think they can bull the sheet up over our eyes, but we aint as dumb as they think. Our intelligence tells us that they have 6 new machines. They only plan on showing three of them to the public today. What we need to do is send out our decoys into the crowd, while the rest of us enter the base. Our pick up will be arriving soon; they will get us into the base. Tgjan, Territoriez and Geezer, we’re going to lead into back of the base where they have the final 3 suits heavily guarded. I’ll explain each of our roles in depth with each of you. (They disperse and Geezer walks up to Siruke)
Geezer- Hmm, this plan takes some guts. Are you sure these rookies can handle it.
Siruke- They are the cream of the crop my friend. They may be young, but there are full of energy and passion. I couldn’t find two better candidates for the other two Mobil suits.
Geezer- I’ve haven’t even been able to work with them much. The boy is pretty quiet.
Siruke- Tgjan? Yes he isn’t much of a talker, but he is loyal to our cause and was the best prospect physically.
Geezer- And this girl?
Siruke- High spirited isn’t she? She graduated at the top of her class. She is very tactical and is well versed in many kinds of martial arts and weapon use.
Geezer- I need to trust them with my back, I need to know more about them then that.
Siruke- Then go talk to them. How’re things with Cat
Geezer- They’re good my friend. Can’t wait to get back to see her
Terri- ohhhh, those old men over there are talking about us aren’t they. Dude I wanna get out there and kick some ass
Tgjan- yeah..I wouldn’t mine getting out there too
Terri- What do you think they’re saying about us?
Spud- probably that you talk too much.
Terri- What did you say punk *punches Spud In back of head
Spud- shit alright, sorry, you crazy girl
Tgjan- The old Geezer probably doesn’t trust us.
Terri- that’s understandable I guess. We’re young and energertic..he’s just..old.
Spud- The commander is not that old girl, show some respect.
Terri- to you? Gimmie that arm so I can bite it off.
The school bell rings and Evan and Antonio race over to meet up with their friend Cabral Keita and then head out to the base. These three though young, will be the pilots of three Mobil suits. They enter the base and get into uniform and report to their commander.
Evan- Commander Hall! We’re are ready for briefing
Hall- Good gentlemen. Glad to see you on time Ensign Brock. Okay listen up, you are the elite soilders picked to pilot these Mobil Suits. You are to be careful with them and to take it easy if neccasary. If anything goes wrong, you are to immediately cease actions and land. You will be instructed before and as you are in your suits. You are to do what we say at all times. Do you understand me soilders
All three- yes sir!
Hall- Gentlemen, this is your day, you have earned this right. If done well, you will become the permanent operators of these machines. Good luck gentlemen.
All three- we will not let you down sir!
Hall- good, now relax, there is still some time before the show.
(The commander leaves the room)
Cabral- Fuck yeah dude, this is our damn moment. You bastards better not fuck up and screw me into the ground.
Antonio- shut your damn mouth kid. Worry about your own hide.
Cabral- (pulls out porno mag) Oh yeah!
Evan- How’d the hell you get that in here?
Cabral- That inspections lady out there, she owes me a few favors, if you know what I mean, heh heh heh.
Antonio- Bullshit, you stuck that in your briefing folder again didn’t you.
Cabral- Screw you fucker.
Antonio- Fight me bitch!
Evan- Christ, do you two ever shut up, I’m going out to get a soda. *head’s out down the hall to get a soda in the soda machines.
Evan- damn, if I have to fly with those guys all the time, I think I’ll shoot myself down. Why couldn’t that one girl Anna be the third candidate instead of that guy Cabral? *as he’s fantasizing, he walks right into someone in a military uniform.
Tgjan- what the!
Evan- oh, man, sorry dude, I was in another place right then.
Terri- hey bub, watch where your going next time.
Tgjan- no it’s alright, don’t worry about it bro
Evan- yes, im sorry…are you new, I’ve never seen you around here before
Tgjan- uh…
Siruke- Solider! What are you doing here!
Evan- Just getting a soda
Siruke- the shows about to start, I suggest you return to your post.
Evan- uh..Yeah, sure, my apologies sir!
Terri- sheesh, what a klutz, I’d hate to see that guy in a Mobil suit.
Tgjan- yeah…
Evan heads back to the room and puts on his flight suit. Him, Cabral and Antonio then go to the third hanger where their three Mobil suits are. Each pilot enters their won machines. Evan Brock is assigned to the X-121A Nightshade. Antonio Lopez is assigned to the X-123A Deviance. Cabral Keita is assigned to the X-126A Surge.
In the fourth hanger are the remaining suits. The X-122A Force Break, the X-124A Raging and the X-125A Baizouken. With several Coral abandoners, the rebels break into the fourth hanger just as the show is starting. Tgjan, Territoriez and Geezer charge in and shoot the guards of the three remaining suits.
Geezer- Okay! We’re clear! Tgjan, Territoriez! Jump into your machines and calibrate the OS quickly. We need speed!
Terri- I know that. *jumps into the Baizouken
Tgjan- I got ya! *jumps into the Force Break.* All right, let’s see. Equipment is? One Buster cannon, two beam sabers, beam rifle, beam shield. Feels pretty basic, ill have to tinker with it later.
The Force Break is the first to rise. Followed by the Baizouken, then the Raging rises. They begin to blast away as other rebels, including Spud and Siruke hijack some Dagger Mobil suits.
Siruke- All right boys, this base is our target, we leave nothing left!
*Outside on the field
Announcer- and here we have the X-121 Alpha Nightshade, its main capa…. *a loud explosion is made. The fourth hanger is blown to hell. Seven Mobil suits fly out of the hanger, including the three hijacked Gundams
Chairman Brock- What the hell is going on here!
Valentino- I told you sir! Shit! *grabs radio* Nightshade! Surge! Deviant! Engage those Mobil Suits! You must destroy them
Chairman Brock- Are you insane, do you know how much they cost! Pilots! You are to capture those three Mobil suits!
Evan- What the hell is going on here! How did this happen
Antonio- They were being to careless, no matter, I’ll take them out!
Cabral- Dammit! I’ll kill those bastards!
Geezer- we’ll leave the base to Siruke and his boys, Tgjan, Terri, we have to hold off those mobil suits!
Tgjan+Terri- Right!
Evan- Damn rebels! Who do you think you are!
Geezer- I’ll show you how to fly that thing!
The Raging and the Nightshade collide.
END episode 1
Episode 2- Rage!
Way of the Gundam
By Tgjanlee
Episode 1- GUNDAM
The year is 2141. An entire year has past since the beginning of the war between the Coral and Earth Separatist began. Primo Terra, the first rebuilt city on earth by Coral is holding an air show today at their military base. They will be showing off their new Mobil Suits. The so called Gundams are said to be by far the most advanced weaponry ever created by man kind. Our story begins with a young man by the name of Evan Brock.
Mrs. Brock- Evan! Get up! You’re going to be late for school! Don’t make me use the vacuum cleaner again.
Evan- All right, all right, im up dammit women. Sheesh.
Mrs. Brock- Excuse me! What did you say to me? I should smack you one across the face for talking to me like that.
Evan- Yeah, I’m sorry.
Mrs. Brock- That what I like to hear now come on down quick so you can get some breakfast. You have a big day today.
Evan- Oh yeah (Evan quickly does his morning ritual, pops his school clothes on which consist of a pair of slacks a button down shirt and a tie. After today though, he may not ever have to wear that stupid school uniform ever again).
A broadcast on the Television comes on as Evan is sitting at the table. His dad is at the table reading a news paper and his sister, Kansas is eating her cereal. Evan’s mom is listing closely to the TV as if waiting to hear something specific.
Kansas- Hey Evan, you ready for today?
Evan- uh, yeah. Dad, are you gonna be there today?
Mr. Brock- Hmm? Oh yes, I will be there. They have very high expectations of you today Evan. I suggest you get in the right mind set for today. And you better be there on time, I don’t want to see you showing up a half hour late like you did last time.
Evan- Yes father. I apologize again for what happened.
Mr. Brock- Good, then I will see you after school today.
Evan- Yes Father
Mr. Brock exits out the door and heads toward his car and takes out his phone to call some one. He steps into the car. There are two men waiting for him. One man is named Edward Valentino and the other Stephen Ulrich. Valentino is a headstrong man who is an expert in military combat. He is a General in the Coralian Army. The other man is rather large but carries a smile on his face. He is a very smart man and is an advisor to Mr. Brock.
Ulrich- Chairman Brock, how are ya buddy!
Valentino- sir, good morning
Mr. Brock- General, Mr. Ulrich. Are preparations for today ready?
Ulrich- They sure are. The show today is going to be quiet entertaining sir. Are new Mobil suits are prepped and ready for combat.
Valentino- Sir about this air show today. I don’t see how much good this can do us. Showing off our weapons to the civilians. It’s just asking for spies. Then you intend on leaving the suits in the hands of those children.
Mr. Brock- Yes I do General. Today we are only showing the tip of of our new technology. The Rebels will be bowing down to us in no time with our new weapons.
Ulrich- Don’t be so stingy General, what could go wrong today. Our base is the most heavily guarded on the planet, no bastard spies would dare interfere in our plans.
Valentino stares at him in disgust. He isn’t used to being talked to like that. The car arrives at the base and the three exit the car and continue their discussion in Mr. Brock’s office. Meanwhile, Evan has left his house and is heading towards school. He notices two girl’s in a lower grade across who had rolled up their skirts very high. He is about to go over and hit on them when out of no where his friend Antonio Lopez hits him from behind
Antonio- What’re you doing kid? Staring at those girl’s across the street? You’re a pervert.
Evan- Wha..no, dude get off me!
Antonio- Man you always flip out when I catch you doing something perverted ha ha.
Evan- Hell, at least I’m not as perverted as Keita. He’s got all those fucking pornos stuffed into his backpack and under his bed.
Antonio- At least he’s open about it. Shit I’ll admit, I’m a pervert too. Those girl’s over their. They’re perverts. It’s the circle of Ero my friend. We’re all perverts. Huzzah for perverts! (Followed by a stupid pose)
Evan- dude, shut up before I punch you in the face. You ready for today or not?
Antonio- I was born for this day kid. We’re gonna blow those bigwigs out of their damn seats.
Meanwhile, across town, a group of people are gathering inside an apartment building. A group of about 12 or so people in there. Some of them have Coral military uniforms on. These are in fact members of a rebel nation. They had snuck into Primo Terra with plans to spy on Coral’s new weapons. A man known as Siruke is explaining the operation.
Siruke- Okay boys. Those bastards think they can bull the sheet up over our eyes, but we aint as dumb as they think. Our intelligence tells us that they have 6 new machines. They only plan on showing three of them to the public today. What we need to do is send out our decoys into the crowd, while the rest of us enter the base. Our pick up will be arriving soon; they will get us into the base. Tgjan, Territoriez and Geezer, we’re going to lead into back of the base where they have the final 3 suits heavily guarded. I’ll explain each of our roles in depth with each of you. (They disperse and Geezer walks up to Siruke)
Geezer- Hmm, this plan takes some guts. Are you sure these rookies can handle it.
Siruke- They are the cream of the crop my friend. They may be young, but there are full of energy and passion. I couldn’t find two better candidates for the other two Mobil suits.
Geezer- I’ve haven’t even been able to work with them much. The boy is pretty quiet.
Siruke- Tgjan? Yes he isn’t much of a talker, but he is loyal to our cause and was the best prospect physically.
Geezer- And this girl?
Siruke- High spirited isn’t she? She graduated at the top of her class. She is very tactical and is well versed in many kinds of martial arts and weapon use.
Geezer- I need to trust them with my back, I need to know more about them then that.
Siruke- Then go talk to them. How’re things with Cat
Geezer- They’re good my friend. Can’t wait to get back to see her
Terri- ohhhh, those old men over there are talking about us aren’t they. Dude I wanna get out there and kick some ass
Tgjan- yeah..I wouldn’t mine getting out there too
Terri- What do you think they’re saying about us?
Spud- probably that you talk too much.
Terri- What did you say punk *punches Spud In back of head
Spud- shit alright, sorry, you crazy girl
Tgjan- The old Geezer probably doesn’t trust us.
Terri- that’s understandable I guess. We’re young and energertic..he’s just..old.
Spud- The commander is not that old girl, show some respect.
Terri- to you? Gimmie that arm so I can bite it off.
The school bell rings and Evan and Antonio race over to meet up with their friend Cabral Keita and then head out to the base. These three though young, will be the pilots of three Mobil suits. They enter the base and get into uniform and report to their commander.
Evan- Commander Hall! We’re are ready for briefing
Hall- Good gentlemen. Glad to see you on time Ensign Brock. Okay listen up, you are the elite soilders picked to pilot these Mobil Suits. You are to be careful with them and to take it easy if neccasary. If anything goes wrong, you are to immediately cease actions and land. You will be instructed before and as you are in your suits. You are to do what we say at all times. Do you understand me soilders
All three- yes sir!
Hall- Gentlemen, this is your day, you have earned this right. If done well, you will become the permanent operators of these machines. Good luck gentlemen.
All three- we will not let you down sir!
Hall- good, now relax, there is still some time before the show.
(The commander leaves the room)
Cabral- Fuck yeah dude, this is our damn moment. You bastards better not fuck up and screw me into the ground.
Antonio- shut your damn mouth kid. Worry about your own hide.
Cabral- (pulls out porno mag) Oh yeah!
Evan- How’d the hell you get that in here?
Cabral- That inspections lady out there, she owes me a few favors, if you know what I mean, heh heh heh.
Antonio- Bullshit, you stuck that in your briefing folder again didn’t you.
Cabral- Screw you fucker.
Antonio- Fight me bitch!
Evan- Christ, do you two ever shut up, I’m going out to get a soda. *head’s out down the hall to get a soda in the soda machines.
Evan- damn, if I have to fly with those guys all the time, I think I’ll shoot myself down. Why couldn’t that one girl Anna be the third candidate instead of that guy Cabral? *as he’s fantasizing, he walks right into someone in a military uniform.
Tgjan- what the!
Evan- oh, man, sorry dude, I was in another place right then.
Terri- hey bub, watch where your going next time.
Tgjan- no it’s alright, don’t worry about it bro
Evan- yes, im sorry…are you new, I’ve never seen you around here before
Tgjan- uh…
Siruke- Solider! What are you doing here!
Evan- Just getting a soda
Siruke- the shows about to start, I suggest you return to your post.
Evan- uh..Yeah, sure, my apologies sir!
Terri- sheesh, what a klutz, I’d hate to see that guy in a Mobil suit.
Tgjan- yeah…
Evan heads back to the room and puts on his flight suit. Him, Cabral and Antonio then go to the third hanger where their three Mobil suits are. Each pilot enters their won machines. Evan Brock is assigned to the X-121A Nightshade. Antonio Lopez is assigned to the X-123A Deviance. Cabral Keita is assigned to the X-126A Surge.
In the fourth hanger are the remaining suits. The X-122A Force Break, the X-124A Raging and the X-125A Baizouken. With several Coral abandoners, the rebels break into the fourth hanger just as the show is starting. Tgjan, Territoriez and Geezer charge in and shoot the guards of the three remaining suits.
Geezer- Okay! We’re clear! Tgjan, Territoriez! Jump into your machines and calibrate the OS quickly. We need speed!
Terri- I know that. *jumps into the Baizouken
Tgjan- I got ya! *jumps into the Force Break.* All right, let’s see. Equipment is? One Buster cannon, two beam sabers, beam rifle, beam shield. Feels pretty basic, ill have to tinker with it later.
The Force Break is the first to rise. Followed by the Baizouken, then the Raging rises. They begin to blast away as other rebels, including Spud and Siruke hijack some Dagger Mobil suits.
Siruke- All right boys, this base is our target, we leave nothing left!
*Outside on the field
Announcer- and here we have the X-121 Alpha Nightshade, its main capa…. *a loud explosion is made. The fourth hanger is blown to hell. Seven Mobil suits fly out of the hanger, including the three hijacked Gundams
Chairman Brock- What the hell is going on here!
Valentino- I told you sir! Shit! *grabs radio* Nightshade! Surge! Deviant! Engage those Mobil Suits! You must destroy them
Chairman Brock- Are you insane, do you know how much they cost! Pilots! You are to capture those three Mobil suits!
Evan- What the hell is going on here! How did this happen
Antonio- They were being to careless, no matter, I’ll take them out!
Cabral- Dammit! I’ll kill those bastards!
Geezer- we’ll leave the base to Siruke and his boys, Tgjan, Terri, we have to hold off those mobil suits!
Tgjan+Terri- Right!
Evan- Damn rebels! Who do you think you are!
Geezer- I’ll show you how to fly that thing!
The Raging and the Nightshade collide.
END episode 1
Episode 2- Rage!
....why leave this open to insert images! GAHHHH
Is it coincidence or irony that TheLegendKiller's apparent friend (based on your comments on his story) also neglects to put spacing between lines of dialogue and, indeed, even uses the same weird hyphenated tags (which I never saw before you two... people either use colons or boldface)? I asked him to add spacing and he did for, like, one chapter. I know it's extra work (no, wait, it isn't), but would you please do it... and maybe tell him to follow up so I don't have to post on two topics about the same damn thing?
I can't comment further until you put down more, but it does look like a forum RP. Is this a straight copy and paste or did you do any revision?
I can't comment further until you put down more, but it does look like a forum RP. Is this a straight copy and paste or did you do any revision?
"This is the truth! This is my belief. At least for now."
This was an original story i made, its not an RP. I explained earlier why the names are so odd and forum like.
You'll have to forgive the style. The remaining 12 episodes are written in a similar fashion. Things will get a bit easier as time goes on, but this was written ages ago. I find that people get used to reading it very quickly though. If it's just too hard for you i'll understand, but as i am still writing other stories in sort of the same style, i will take heed to your comments and put them to good use in my future endeavors. I'll appreciate all kinds of advice and critique.
You'll have to forgive the style. The remaining 12 episodes are written in a similar fashion. Things will get a bit easier as time goes on, but this was written ages ago. I find that people get used to reading it very quickly though. If it's just too hard for you i'll understand, but as i am still writing other stories in sort of the same style, i will take heed to your comments and put them to good use in my future endeavors. I'll appreciate all kinds of advice and critique.
....why leave this open to insert images! GAHHHH
-
TheLegendkiller
- Posts: 39
- Joined: Sat Jun 28, 2008 4:20 pm
- Location: Philadelphia
That's cause he copied his style from me, I'm the originator. You're welcome Tg.Kenji wrote:Is it coincidence or irony that TheLegendKiller's apparent friend (based on your comments on his story) also neglects to put spacing between lines of dialogue and, indeed, even uses the same weird hyphenated tags (which I never saw before you two... people either use colons or boldface)? I asked him to add spacing and he did for, like, one chapter. I know it's extra work (no, wait, it isn't), but would you please do it... and maybe tell him to follow up so I don't have to post on two topics about the same damn thing?
I can't comment further until you put down more, but it does look like a forum RP. Is this a straight copy and paste or did you do any revision?
Evil Unleashed<The Legendkiller
-
TheLegendkiller
- Posts: 39
- Joined: Sat Jun 28, 2008 4:20 pm
- Location: Philadelphia