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 Post Posted: Mon Jul 28, 2008 11:52 am 
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I have the G-Saviour DVD, and as much as I like the concept of a live action Gundam movie, it still was a flop.

So one day I thought to my self, " If I was the producer and director of G-Saviour, how would it have went down?".

I am about to post the text file of my "lead up" to the beginning of my revision of G-Saviour.

Keep in mind that this is just the setup, there is no dialog or scenes, just the introductory synopsis.
-------------------------
Updated at October 31st 4:36 am
Updated sections are in BOLD print.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------


In UC 0154, following the League Militaire's victory over the Zanscare Empire at Angel Halo, a treaty was signed between
the Earth Federation, The League Militaire, and the more reasonable members of the Zanscare Empire.
And soon preparations are made to merge their forces to form the Congress of Settlement Nations (CONSENT).
A seemingly perfect unity of the Colonial and Terrestrial governments, resulting in peace between the Colonies and Earth.
But as it turns out, there is still conflict to be had between the poor and the rich.

In UC 176, up to fourteen 3rd world countries claim that CONSENT is
seizing precious resources from their homelands,
however CONSENT officials claim that the resources seized are to help the countries that are still recovering from the Zanscare Conflict.

In UC 182, a militia called the Libertad was formed in South America.
Consisting of volunteer soldiers from Chile, Brazil, Peru, Venezuela and Argentina.
They soon begin attacking CONSENT owned refineries, factories, mines and other sites of industrial importance.

Thanks to CONSENT having the technological "high ground", the conflict was settled in CONSENT's favor in just 2 days.

In UC 0215, a new type of Minovsky particle energy reactor was developed. It was called the "ICARUS" reactor.
This extremely cheap to produce reactor was capable of providing seemingly limitless amounts of energy as long as the reactor wasn't depleted before the energy could be replenished.

The first mobile suit to use this reactor was the ccms-03 "BUGU".
The mobile suit was also cheap and easy to make, being able to be mass-produced by the hundreds.
The "BUGU" was effective in combat, even though its performance was only on par with that of the ancient "GEARA DOGA" mobile suit developed by Neo Zeon in UC 0093.
What made the "BUGU" so effective was its sheer numbers and cost-friendliness, as well as never needing to be refueled.
Pilots would often be advised to bring sandwiches for long battles.
The "BUGU" would ensure CONSENT's dominance over the Earth Sphere.

In UC 0217, a comet crashed down on the "bread basket" states in America, Earth's supply of food has dropped drastically.
CONSENT begins to limit the distribution of food to the needy. Even the richest members of society are forced to ration their food.
A colony named ROBIN begins using it's artificial habitat system to produce food for the needy. They barely make the quota at the end of the year.

In UC 0219, ROBIN suffers a colony reactor meltdown, the inhabitants of the colony were evacuated safely, however all the crops on board were lost.
Conspiracy theorists blame CONSENT for the loss, and even claim that the comet and the ROBIN meltdown incident were planned.
Side GAIA officials claim that CONSENT officers were seen smuggling explosives into ROBIN.

In UC 0220, Side GAIA declares war on CONSENT.
Sides GAIA, 2, 5, and 3 establish a militia called the Illuminati.

In UC 0221, a new type of mobile suit called the cams-13 "RAID" was being developed in response to the GAIA Rebellion and the Illuminati's efforts to challenge CONSENT's authority.
Illuminati's outdated Mobile Suits are no match, and Side 3 surrenders.

In UC 0223, Illuminati discovers that putting more than one "ICARUS" reactor in a single mobile suit would increase its performance greatly, by utilizing a single reactor for a single purpose.
GAIA develops a prototype called the "G-ORIGIN" and tests it on neutral soil in Nairobi on earth.
The "G-ORIGIN" is destroyed during CONSENT's invasion of Kenya.
Soon after, the "Squared-reactor" design is perfected and the first mobile suit to use the new system is developed in secret at an underwater "Hydrogen Farm" off the coast of China.
The mobile suit utilizes the design of the legendary machine code-named "GUNDAM", and is dubbed the "G-SAVIOUR".
A 22-year-old marine named Mark Curren, who was transporting the "G-SAVIOUR", decided become its pilot rather than hand it over to CONSENT.
He managed to fight back the Mobile Suits that have infiltrated the facility, and showed quite clearly that he could pilot the machine well.
Mark is asked to be the G-Saviour's pilot while it is being transported from China to Ontario, Canada. He agrees to do so on the condition that his mother and sister come along too.
He displays incredible skill, and it is soon established that Mark is a Newtype.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------






I've edited the Character of Mark Curren to be more like his original movie counter-part.
The whole "autism thing" that was discussed is no more.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
entry at September 8th

G-Saviour Weapons, modes, and abilities :

Space & Air Mode boasts high mobility, greater speed,
and an "ICARUS" compatible Minovsky drive system. (Think Victory 2 Gundam)
But because of the side effects of the "ICARUS" reactor,
instead of "Wings of Light" the G-Saviour gains a "Cape of Fire".

Terrain Mode boasts increased durability, steadier aim,
an emergency Handcannon and a GS-type Beam shotrifle
based on the weapon used by the "SAZABI" during the second Neo-Zeon war.

But all this is nothing compared to the G-Saviours greatest ability.
Normally the G-Saviour's four reactors are each given a specific part to power.

One to power hand-held weapons through a "touch-link" system.
One for the beam-shield.
One for the thrusters, or the Minovsky drive equipment if it's being used.
And one to power the G-Saviour itself.

However...
It can re-route power from one or more of its four reactors to another function.
Meaning possibly :
A bigger more powerful shot or a much larger beam saber.
A bigger beam-shield or if more than one reactor is re-routed, a beam-dome.
The thrusters can be powered enogh to achieve speeds up to 560 miles per hour. (Recommended that the pilot wear special protective gear first however.)
Or to cause the G-Saviour to become much more maneuverable.

However it can only keep up this "boosted performance" for so long before things start to over-heat, short out, malfunction, and just plain "not work".
----------------------------------
entry at October 24th 2:02 am

I've brought this back again because I've finalized my revision of the (NON-char clone) rival character Jack Hale.

I've decided to portray Jack Hale as a person who seems loyal to CONSENT on the surface,
but in reality is just following a "'Tis better to be at the right hand of the Devil than in his path" mentality.
The "Devil" in this case are CONSENT's wealthy investors.
Not out of cowardice, but because he has a family to feed, and he is the only one making money.

He and Mark once served together in the military, and were great friends,
until an unfortunate MS malfunction in Korea ended the life of Jack's wife, Dorothy, just one year ago.
He has blamed Mark for the accident since that day,
and hides his feelings against Mark when his children are around.

He pilots an Ocean Blue colored "RAID" MS customized for High-speed hit-and-run sniper rifle tactics.

That is until he is given an experimental MS by General Garneax, named simply, "WENDIGO".
----------------------------------
entry at March 20th 3:31 pm

Sorry for necroposting, it's just I've finished my song selection for all three parts. And I'll also give brief descriptions of the plot for parts two and three.

G-Saviour
==========
Alone Against the Wind - Richie Kotzen
Caught in the Rain - Revis
G-Saviour Theme - Prove - Fuel
G-Saviour vs. Wendigo - Shinobi vs. Dragon Ninja - Lostprophets
Jack Hale Theme - Sooner or Later - Breaking Benjamin
Mark Curren Theme - On my Side - Ra
Mimi Devere Theme - Its Been Awhile - Staind
Tuesday's Gone (Metallica Version)
Main Theme - Starseed - Our Lady Peace
Undercover - Pete Yorn
Wendigo Theme - Lie Lie Lie - Serj Tankian
When I'm Gone - Three Doors Down
==========

G Second-Saviour
==========
Are you Sad - Our Lady Peace
Back on Earth - Ozzy
Reelin' In The Years - Steely Dan
Coming Home - Stereomudd
Encounter - Richie Kotzen
Her Without You - Three Doors Down
For You - The Calling
Hallelujah - Jeff Buckley
Jack Hale Theme - My Own Prison - Creed
Laura Curren Theme - Life - Our Lady Peace
Mark Curren Theme - Do it Again - Steely Dan
Torn - Creed
==========

G Third-Saviour
==========
Amanda Hale Theme - I am the Highway - Audioslave
Bleed For Me - Saliva
Ending - The Wonderful Future - Our Lady Peace
G3-Saviour Theme - Sky - Ra
General Garneax Theme - Greed
Jack Hale Theme - Running Out of Time - Ozzy
Main Theme - Innocent
Mark Curren Theme - The Road I'm On - Three Doors Down
Wish you were here - Pink Floyd
Raiven Theme - Stupify - Disturbed
Right Behind you (Mafia) - Our Lady Peace
Somewhere Out There - Our Lady Peace
Team Saviour Theme - Re-Encounter - Richie Kotzen
Vindicated - Dashboard Confessional
With Arms Wide Open - Creed
==========

Now for those plot summaries.

G2-Saviour
==========
Takes place 3 years after G-Saviour.
When a second armed force named LUMBRA arises against CONSENT, things are looking good for the forces of Gaia. However this new army's brutal tactics and overkilling tendencies are causing friction between the Illuminati and LUMBRA, not to mention that CONSENT has even developed their own Saviour MS. All of these tensions, will come out in the battlefield over Saudi Arabia. Now that Mark Curren is a father, he will have to choose between protecting Gaia's forces, and his daughter.
==========

G3-Saviour
==========
Takes place 10 years after G-Saviour.
The war between Gaia's forces and CONSENT is almost over.
However General Garneax has several trump cards to play, one of which is the Raiven.
Jack Hale has finally been released from prison, and so much has happened. His daughter got married and had a son and didn't even tell him, to top it off his former suborinates either quit or were killed in action.
Now General Garneax extends an offer before Jack, and he is left with a difficult decision: quit his grudge and start over with a new life, or try one more time to settle the score with Mark. The final confrontation in space, is where many will sacrifice their hopes, dreams, and their lives.

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Last edited by Shea on Fri Mar 20, 2009 4:36 pm, edited 14 times in total.

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 Post subject: Re: G-Saviour (Revision)
 Post Posted: Mon Jul 28, 2008 12:08 pm 
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Shea wrote:
and that mental disorders are possible signs of Newtypes.


Last thing we need is retarded newtypes running a muck. And a 16 year old kid being afraid of bearded people? That's a horrible idea for a main character. :p

and the actual plot (not the back story) sounds just like every generic gundam series.

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 Post Posted: Mon Jul 28, 2008 12:27 pm 
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Not retarded Newtypes, jeez...
Haven't you ever noticed how almost every newtype is emotionally or mentally unbalanced? That's autism man! I should know, I'M AUTISTIC!

And autistic people tend to have irrational fears! Fear of facial hair is a good example, or fear of asymmetrical objects or places, fear of odd numbers.

Just sayin'. And please don't be so harsh.
Besides, at least it's better than the real G-Saviour, right?

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 Post Posted: Mon Jul 28, 2008 1:29 pm 
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How would we know if you haven't posted a story yet?


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 Post Posted: Mon Jul 28, 2008 1:36 pm 
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ShadowCell wrote:
How would we know if you haven't posted a story yet?


If I'm gonna post this story, it'll be with cameras and CGI.
I'd have to get a grant from a studio first.

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 Post Posted: Mon Jul 28, 2008 1:47 pm 
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So, you have nothing to post here, is what you're saying.

How are we supposed to judge this thing if you don't give us anything to judge?

Given the extreme unlikelihood of a studio deciding to lavish a few hundred million dollars on you to remake a little-known film from a franchise that flopped in the United States market, if you want this thread to have any purpose and get any feedback at all, you're just going to have to post the screenplay.


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 Post Posted: Mon Jul 28, 2008 1:54 pm 
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ShadowCell wrote:
So, you have nothing to post here, is what you're saying.

How are we supposed to judge this thing if you don't give us anything to judge?

Given the extreme unlikelihood of a studio deciding to lavish a few hundred million dollars on you to remake a little-known film from a franchise that flopped in the United States market, if you want this thread to have any purpose and get any feedback at all, you're just going to have to post the screenplay.


I can give character descriptions, does that help?
I just wanted you to tell me if the setup was good.
Sorry if I misled anyone.

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 Post Posted: Mon Jul 28, 2008 2:11 pm 
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Well, a concept is just that: a concept.

How it's executed is entirely different. Some concepts may sound good, but be poorly executed. The idea of a live-action mecha movie is drool worthy to many here, but if it's poorly executed, it spoils the fun.

Concepts are a starting point, but hardly a way to judge the full thing. It's a simple snapshot, not the full video.

Write something rather than talk about it, which is what the character descriptions are. I have nothing against character descriptions, but a story is much preferred because it's substance rather than fluffy air.

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 Post Posted: Mon Jul 28, 2008 2:20 pm 
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Big B wrote:
Well, a concept is just that: a concept.

How it's executed is entirely different. Some concepts may sound good, but be poorly executed. The idea of a live-action mecha movie is drool worthy to many here, but if it's poorly executed, it spoils the fun.

Concepts are a starting point, but hardly a way to judge the full thing. It's a simple snapshot, not the full video.

Write something rather than talk about it, which is what the character descriptions are. I have nothing against character descriptions, but a story is much preferred because it's substance rather than fluffy air.


Well, since in a week I'm going to an academy that has no TV for a week, I'm gonna have to write to keep the boredom at bay.
I'll explore the story and attempt to write a first draft while I'm there.
When I return, I'll type it in a text document file, and post it here.

I have to explore this little nugget, And... I will try to make a novel or at least a short story.

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 Post Posted: Mon Jul 28, 2008 2:32 pm 
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The backstory has potential, even though I see the League Militaire joining up with the Federation not unlike gluing a wiffle ball to a boulder in terms of military strength. Also, aside from making the Mark a pastiche of yourself and/or the people you know, he seems to have taken a bit of a step into G-Cliché territory. I actually liked the fact that Mark Curran was ex-military, since I don't think there's a single Gundam protagonist in the history of the franchise with those credentials, but now you've made him into another teenager who fell into the cockpit... except, this time, it was taken literally.

Frankly, if you hadn't gotten defensive about Autism, I'd think you were doing a parody of the trope.

As Big B was saying, it all relies on execution. You can make a story about autistic Newtypes and have it be effective, just like you can make a story about drills and manliness and make into the most badass thing to come out of 2007. However, we're in a culture that regularly pokes fun at mentally or socially deficient people (i.e. "retards"), which means that making this story work is going to be far more difficult than putting a high school athlete into a Gundam.

Frankly, making Mark fall off a catwalk into a Gundam and not come out 'cuz he's afraid of bearded people is going to be unintentional comedy. That will kill your concept. Period.

In regards to getting this to a studio... don't count on it. Even if it wasn't a story about "retards in giant robots" (and it will be called that), the odds of a non-independent studio putting any serious amount of money into a live-action Gundam project is close to zero. We can all dream - hell, I'd love to get a limited copyright to publish a non-canon Gundam story - but we also gotta be realistic.

That said, don't give up. Work on the concept, write up a script, and show it to us. We'll tell you what we think and, from that, you can use our reactions to judge the possible reactions of an audience, and tweak the concept and execution for more success. At the very least, you'll have fun and maybe learn something you hadn't thought of before.

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 Post Posted: Mon Jul 28, 2008 2:51 pm 
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I had this idea of Mark's "angel and devil on his shoulder" type of thing,
where Mark's nurse is constantly sheltering him and trying to keep him safe verses his sister encouraging him to be more independent and courageous.

And I may have made a mistake about him being an "I am Sam" type of guy,
I was thinking more along the lines of an obsessive-compulsive character like Monk.

I don't want people making fun of Mark, especially when I planned to make him into such a tragic character.
*Spoiler*
For instance, in the second third of the story there is a bit of a fast forward to where Mark is 22 and is married with a daughter,
but midway Mark's wife dies during CONSENT's attack on Chile, leaving him a single father that begins to regress back to his paranoid,
obsessive state because he can't cope with her death.
The last third, would be about Mark's daughter as an adult deciding to take up the keys of the G-Third, and pick up the war where her father left off.

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 Post Posted: Mon Jul 28, 2008 2:59 pm 
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Um, people are going to make fun of him whether you want them to or not, especially if you're writing for the average moviegoer. If you want to write a story with an autistic character as the sympathetic tragic hero, a giant robot war is probably not the best of settings. The average moviegoer is going to go see your movie (hypothetically speaking, anyway) to see giant robots beating the crap out of each other.


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 Post Posted: Mon Jul 28, 2008 3:03 pm 
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ShadowCell wrote:
Um, people are going to make fun of him whether you want them to or not, especially if you're writing for the average moviegoer. If you want to write a story with an autistic character as the sympathetic tragic hero, a giant robot war is probably not the best of settings. The average moviegoer is going to go see your movie (hypothetically speaking, anyway) to see giant robots beating the crap out of each other.


I'll make it a comic book first, then I'll see how well it does.
If it does well enough, I'll try to turn it into a movie.

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 Post Posted: Mon Jul 28, 2008 4:03 pm 
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Concentrate on the story first, then worry about what form it'll take. But, I shouldn't have to tell you that.

As I said before, working with a retarded or autistic person, or someone with obessions problems, isn't impossible. I'm a firm believer that execution means everything, hence my Gurren Lagann example.

I wouldn't shy away from using an autistic character. After all, one day I'd like to play around with Stella Loussier, who is a clear example of a mentally deficient character (though she likely wasn't intended to come off that way) in a Gundam series. Your difficulty is that you're making the main character autistic, which means that the story will be presented through the lens of someone who's autistic.

If you really are autistic, yourself, this'll be easier for you. So, allow me to make a few constructive suggestions.

First, and most importantly: For the love of God and all that is holy, don't draw attention to Mark's autism! Let on that there's something wrong with him, let on that he has problems, describe those problems, but don't ever catch yourself writing "Mark is autistic" or any variant of that phrase. Mark must be a person first, a representative of autism second, and unless you keep that priority in mind, he will always be referred to by the audience as "that retarded kid."

Second, remember that the majority of your intended audience (mecha fans) aren't autistic. They, myself included, don't understand what it's like. It's your responsibility to convey that understanding and use the power of words to stifle that laughter. Sure, there'll always be someone who'll think it's funny no matter what, but if you execute it well, the majority should feel sympathy, especially if you follow the first point.

Third, delete all melodrama. The last thing we need is autistic Mark bitching about his autistic problems. This, while it can be done, will only make your job more difficult, because then you have a character whining about problems the audience doesn't understand, as well as drawing attention to the fact that he's quite different from them, distancing himself from them, in effect distancing the entire story.

Hopefully, that helps a little.

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 Post Posted: Mon Jul 28, 2008 4:14 pm 
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Kenji wrote:
Concentrate on the story first, then worry about what form it'll take. But, I shouldn't have to tell you that.

As I said before, working with a retarded or autistic person, or someone with obessions problems, isn't impossible. I'm a firm believer that execution means everything, hence my Gurren Lagann example.

I wouldn't shy away from using an autistic character. After all, one day I'd like to play around with Stella Loussier, who is a clear example of a mentally deficient character (though she likely wasn't intended to come off that way) in a Gundam series. Your difficulty is that you're making the main character autistic, which means that the story will be presented through the lens of someone who's autistic.

If you really are autistic, yourself, this'll be easier for you. So, allow me to make a few constructive suggestions.

First, and most importantly: For the love of God and all that is holy, don't draw attention to Mark's autism! Let on that there's something wrong with him, let on that he has problems, describe those problems, but don't ever catch yourself writing "Mark is autistic" or any variant of that phrase. Mark must be a person first, a representative of autism second, and unless you keep that priority in mind, he will always be referred to by the audience as "that retarded kid."

Second, remember that the majority of your intended audience (mecha fans) aren't autistic. They, myself included, don't understand what it's like. It's your responsibility to convey that understanding and use the power of words to stifle that laughter. Sure, there'll always be someone who'll think it's funny no matter what, but if you execute it well, the majority should feel sympathy, especially if you follow the first point.

Third, delete all melodrama. The last thing we need is autistic Mark bitching about his autistic problems. This, while it can be done, will only make your job more difficult, because then you have a character whining about problems the audience doesn't understand, as well as drawing attention to the fact that he's quite different from them, distancing himself from them, in effect distancing the entire story.

Hopefully, that helps a little.


Exactly! I would never say outright that Mark had autism, I would definitely make the audience figure it out themselves.
Make 'em ask questions like "why is he touching his palms like that?",
or "Why won't he talk to the captain or look him in the eye?".

The character of Mark would be "high functioning", meaning that even though he has a brilliant mind, he is very socially awkward.
I wanted to show that he is struggling every day to be as socially adept as his sister,
but what is holding him back is not some kind of stupidity or retardation, but a crippling fear of other people.

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 Post Posted: Tue Jul 29, 2008 11:46 pm 
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That's a good attitude to start with. Since the autism was one of the first things you brought up, I was afraid you'd be drilling it into the readers' skulls.

Well, I can't really comment further until you put something up, since a concept's a concept until the execution comes through. So, I'll comment further after a chapter or two.

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 Post Posted: Wed Jul 30, 2008 4:01 am 
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I have to comment that naming an established militia 'Illuminati' is probably a bad idea, since the Illuminati are a supposed secret society that controls every aspect of the world behind the scenes, and a militia is really not suitable for that name. It might not be how you want it to be viewed, but the public most likely will.

Making this into a film, though, seems like a big step unless you already have experience with it. It cost us over $200 just to feed a cast and crew of 21 people over two days, and backing (grant, or whatever you want to call it) from a studio is unlikely since you're writing a film set in a copywrited franchise. This also means you can't legally make a cent off of it unless you buy the rights for it from Sunrise, so it's just an animated Fan Fiction.

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HellCat wrote:
ShadowCell wrote:
I'm skipping this one if it's in suppository form, though. Like, I like Gundam, but not that friggin' much.


They decided against that because most Gundam fans already have something up their butt.


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 Post Posted: Wed Jul 30, 2008 9:32 am 
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CHASER wrote:
I have to comment that naming an established militia 'Illuminati' is probably a bad idea, since the Illuminati are a supposed secret society that controls every aspect of the world behind the scenes, and a militia is really not suitable for that name. It might not be how you want it to be viewed, but the public most likely will.

Making this into a film, though, seems like a big step unless you already have experience with it. It cost us over $200 just to feed a cast and crew of 21 people over two days, and backing (grant, or whatever you want to call it) from a studio is unlikely since you're writing a film set in a copywrited franchise. This also means you can't legally make a cent off of it unless you buy the rights for it from Sunrise, so it's just an animated Fan Fiction.


Illuminati is the name of the militia from the film that I'm redoing.
It wasn't my idea.
As for copyrights and trademarks I know better than to do such a thing without written consent* from Bandai and Sunrise, or even Mr.Tomino himself.

*=(CONSENT *snort* GET IT!?)

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 Post Posted: Sun Sep 07, 2008 9:49 am 
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Mysterious Masked Dude
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Location: Crossville, Tennessee
I'm bringing this back to life because I have decided to make crucial changes to the character of Mark Curren.

Instead of being a 17-year-old boy with a mental disorder,
I've decided to re-establish him as a 22-year-old marine who has originally assigned to transport the "G-SAVIOUR" out of China,
and instead becomes its pilot to keep the machine out of CONSENT's hands.

Good revision? Yes? No?

By the way, sorry for the double-post.

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 Post Posted: Sun Sep 07, 2008 12:42 pm 
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Newtype Emo Guy
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(wow, tough croud)

Anyhow. I like the idea. The work i see here applies a lot more depth to the Gundam Universe then the old G-Savior Heap of amphibian (Dreaconism)

If you feel like it hit me up some time, i can toss out ideas at 1,000,000 KPH but putting pen to paper (or fingers to keyboard) attracts my ol' friend Writers Block.

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