First Gundam 00 Drabble!

[Dean_the_Old(er)]

This is Dean_the_Young here. Having some password/email troubles with my regular account, but I had typed this up two days ago and wanted to post it before the second episode of 00 showed. 'Tis just a drabble of my take on Graham and the world prior to the second episode. Of course, reviews and comments welcome on style and everything else; I want to try a drabble per episode. Personally I suspect I use the national acronyms too much, but I didn't want to type to much. Human Reform League is a bit much.



Drabble Episode 1: Report

“Graham Acre, reporting as ordered.” Cut and paste formality. A pause for the command “At Ease” to be given, and then the audible shifting of weight into a more casual but still professional position. “How can I help you, sir?”

“You can start, Graham, by explaining exactly why you were at a high level demonstration of the AEU’s new mobile suit without permission. I don’t know which strings you pulled to get in, but you created a number of problems over here.” The military liaison for the Union mission in this part of the Advanced European Union, despite his other qualification, was a stickler for observing red tape. Whether he was a natural bureaucrat or just hated the hassle of dealing with the unexpected was something Graham could never decide on.

“I wanted to see the AEU’s new mobile suit, to see if it was as good as they’ve been selling it. You and I both know that they were only able to make it with our help, so getting a professional pilot’s opinion makes since. I can show you the paperwork…”

Regardless of what other failings he had, the Liaison could smell an evasion, as well as recognize when he was about to be sold a bill of goods. Which was a good call; Graham’s companion at the exhibition was a master at arranging paperwork, both legitimate and not. Gruffly, the Liaison went on. “Never mind that. I wanted to talk to you about the report you submitted, both on the Enact and the "Gundams".”

Graham nodded, even as he looked at a copy of the exact same report. Another thing about the Liaison; he was always prepared. “The Enact looks to be a respectable machine. It looks to be a bit faster, a bit more agile than our Flag, but the weapon layout is so close they may as well be the same. One on one, they don’t have an overwhelming advantage against us, should things come to that. Their biggest advantage is the solar power system for better range, not armor or weapons.”

The Liaison didn’t nod or shake his head; Graham suspected that he may have been involved in whatever exchange took place between the Union and the AEU, or at least in military intelligence. Instead, the officer narrowed his eyes and said “At least you remember that despite cooperation, we are still the AEU’s competitor, not ally. I had to reassure some people about that, or else you would be in deeper trouble than talking to me.” That hurt, even if Graham didn’t show it. He was hardly an agent of any foreign power, though mobile suit pilots were greater intelligence gold mines than most due to their intense knowledge of both their mobile suits and technology. He also prided himself on his understanding of world politics.

The Liaison continued. “I want your personal thoughts on this Celestial Being organization, or rather the gundams they control. I’m told that your initial report was forwarded up to the very top, and I mean the top, of both Washington and Brussels after the assault on the Human Reform League’s elevator. I’ve also been told that they were glad to have any information prior to the Celestial Being’s announcement.”

Technically, the Liaison had committed a faux pas. Technically, the Union of Solar Energy and Free Nations was an equal alliance of nations, with the main organizational activities taking place in Washington at the invitation of the United States of America. And technically, the Advanced European Union itself was merely the European Union (capital Brussels) taking a leading position of guidance over smaller states in Africa and Central Asia. And technically, both were correct. The Union had grown to eclipse the individual American states of old, including the United States of America, and form a more or less politically unified state, and the AEU was very active in diplomacy in competition with the Human Reform League in regards to the remaining unaligned states of Central Asia and elsewhere. But both Patrick and the Liaison were politically realists; if one wanted to find the true centers of power in the western world, they were in Washington and Brussels respectively. They both automatically looked over a mistake that politicians would apologize profusely for.

Graham paused, organizing his thoughts. “I don’t know what you want me to say that I didn’t include in the report. I only personally saw one of the gundams, remember, and when it went flew off for the aerial battle, I couldn’t see it. I only say the aerial battle through binoculars; if you want better, you’d need the AEU’s battle data.”

The Liaison nodded. Once settled down to business, he was easy enough to get along with. “I want your general opinion. No one has seen hide or hair of them since their last announcement, but they obviously intend to act again. When they do, we want to be as prepared as can be.”

Graham considered, and then spoke. “I hate to admit it, but they already outclass what we have now in almost every degree. The sword mobile suit was able to disable all of its targets with a single swing; I saw some Helions go out of control out of the battle after a single blow, and the Enact was butchered in front of us all. It was also fast enough to dodge a point blank linear rifle shot from the Enact; I don’t know how strong the armor is, but the Helions’ machine gun assaults didn’t shoot it down.”

The Liaison waved him to continue with his left hand, jotting notes with his other.

“The two biggest aspects are its flight and the communication jamming that surrounded it. When it was near us, and I’m told when another was near the space elevator, all communications were cut off. I don’t know if is avoidable, but if it isn’t team coordination is going to suffer when people can’t talk, or even shoot remote control missiles. As for the flight…”

Graham trailed off. How to explain something he didn’t understand? Honesty seemed the only approach. “It wasn’t like anything I’d ever seen. I didn’t see or hear any rocket or jet engines turning when it lifted smoothly, I just saw strange particles of light. I’ve never seen any mobile suit take off so gently in such a manner, or move so quickly from a still position. Whatever moves those mobile suits, I’ve never used it. That’s all I can say.”

The Liaison nodded once again, though more to himself than to Graham. “Thank you. It’s not much, but it’s what we have now. I’ll look into getting you the data from the AEU; anything that can take out the Enact is certainly a threat to our Union Flags. Until then, I suppose I should tell you to do what you’re supposed to be doing, and not to go gallivanting across foreign nations without permission. Any questions?”

Graham internally grinned. A chance to try and grill a superior for info was a rare treat. “Yes sir. Have we learned anything else about Celestial Being? I looked at our intelligence database, but found nothing.”

The Liaison snorted at the idea of military intelligence. “And nor should you have. As far as anyone can tell, they’ve never existed on Earth up to this point. I know we’ve been looking under every corporate and foreign hiding rock we can, and you can bet your bottom dollar that the AEU and HRL are as well, but no one’s heard so much as a peep. No corporate groups, no private groups, no terrorist groups, nothing. As it is, we’ll just have to wait for their next move before we can figure them out. And so,” he pointedly looked at his watch; for now Graham’s further questions would have to wait. “We look to the future.”

“We look to the future,” Graham repeated. The future, the mysterious sword “gundam”, the paradoxical Celestial Being…

“I can hardly wait.”

[Dean_the_Young]

Episode 2's drabble, though this came closer to five full pages than a drabble really should.

General request applies. Please comment so I can know what to improve, what was good, etc. And yes, this was very inspired by a yaoi joke that no one got and the eternal past time of making fun of fangirls. Blame them; these are all things I've seen in real life. So ahoy, fangirls of the Miesters! And serious!Graham!


00 Episode 2 Drabble

Fangirls

or

How Bad Can A Good Yaoi Joke Get?


As the four Gundam Meisters left their Gundams and slowly approached the prefabricated shelter that would be their home for the next few precious hours, most of them did so quietly. Tiera, mysterious pilot of the Virtue, would on talk when addressed. Allelujah, the tall and thoughtful pilot of the Kyrios, was contemplating Celestial Being’s first deadly battle against a foe waiting to engage them. Lockon, sniper extraordinaire of the Gundam Dynames and leader of the Meisters, had been trying to strike up a conversation for the last few minutes, but his efforts had failed in the face of his three unresponsive subordinates.
And beautiful. Definitely a beautiful team of boys! I mean, have you seen Tiera? Any guy who wears pink has major hotness potential…

Third and youngest subordinate among the Meisters was Setsuna, pilot of the multi-bladed Gundam Exia. He was possibly the quietist of them all. Not that this was much of a surprise to his comrades; Setsuna was naturally a quiet young man not given to idle chatter, but today there was a different reason from usual as to his reserve. He had had his first real battle against enemies prepared to kill him. He had had to carry out his mission to oppose both sides of the conflict for the first time. And afterwards, he had had to duel with a particularly skilled opponent in a Union Flag, one whom he hadn’t killed and had only beaten back after some trouble.
Oooh, oooh! Isn’t Setsuna so dreamy? He has such awesome hair! And he’s so quiet and stoic, like Heero! Oh, I wish I could hold him and make him forget his tragic past.

But what was on the front of Setsuna’s mind was his foe’s opening words, words that kept repeating over and over. “Nice to meet you… Gundam! I am Graham Acre; you captivated my heart!” In one sense, it was clear that this Graham (had he heard the name elsewhere before?) was talking about interest in the Gundam, but then again just earlier Setsuna had called himself “Gundam,” which would mean that this Graham was talking about him, which was rather awkward…
Aw, Setsuna’s all flustered over Graham’s declaration of lo-ove. Isn’t that adorable? Clearly, this series is going to see the hero and his rival fall in love. It’s as clear as with Kira and Athrun, even if these two aren’t long-lost friends. It’s obvious!

Why did that guy have to have such a bad dialect? Now he’d be dwelling on this until he went to sleep. Hopefully it would be gone by the morning. Besides, it’s not like the Gundam Meisters weren’t warned that something like this might happen. Eventually, the superpowers would recognize the Gundams and would organize a prepared opposition to them. But this only Celestial Being’s second appearance; how could someone have already become fixated on him and the Exia? Wouldn’t that require some sort of obsessive fanatic to be connected to the Exia and himself so quickly? Maybe not, but it was still better than the alternative they were warned about. Eventually, Captain Sumeragi had warned, they might create their own following of support, including fangirls. It wasn’t so much that he cared about girls one way or another, but the last thing he wanted would be to have some obsessive stalker girl. That would just be annoying.
That’s right! Girls bad, boys good! Don’t be distracted by any Relena-floozies!

Setsuna blinked. That had not been a usual thought for him. What the heck was a Relena-floozy?
That’s right, beautiful! I’m here to make you find true happiness in the arms of a Y-chromosome!

Setsuna blinked again, though no one noticed. Obviously, Graham’s comment was affecting him more than he thought. A good organizing of his thoughts after the preliminary briefing for the next mission was definitely called for. He bowed his head as he walked through the door into the prefabricated building, right behind Tiera who has such a nice butt in that flight suit, you should reach out and grab it and

Setsuna shook his head, throwing the errant thought out of his head. Tiera was a teammate, someone to be respected and not molested! Allelujah saw the motion and moved closer to Setsuna, speaking with a soft voice so Tiera and Lockon wouldn’t necessarily overhear.

“Are you alright, Setsuna-san, you forgot the –san! ? Did something happen in your first battle?” A note of quite concern, our first proof of a Setsuna-Allelujah couple! Allelujah was the one to notice; he must be constantly watching Setsuna, and was concerned at the slightest sign of a problem!

“I’m fine, Allelujah-san! . Just an errant thought.”

“Very well. If there is no problem, forgive my intrusion.” Allelujah stepped away; one reason Setsuna thought favorably of his fellow Meisters was that each of them was willing to give him his space. The two entered the room where Captain Sumeragi would speak to them via a telescreen; Lockon and Tiera had entered ahead of them.
After all, Allelujah was trying to get Setsuna alone with just the two of them! Squee!

Lockon looked around the room, obviously counting them all. Accounting for his harem, no doubt. “Good, we’re all here. Let’s start and” have a hot steamy scene? “get this pre-briefing over, so I can finally get call it a day. I don’t know about you all, but I want to get out of this suit and go to bed.”
So do I, Lockon-chan, so do I. And I even know some very demanding partner stretches.

Setsuna’s iron self control was what kept him from reacting as the Voice got more suggestive. Sumeragi’s image appeared on the screen, holding her infamous zero-g beer bottle, drops of liquid flying around in the Ptolemy. Setsuna leaned forward, intending to ignore the strange thoughts by focusing on that drunken, skanky Sumeragi’s presentation.

“This,” she began, “is the target base. It’s a reasonably heavily defended base; enough to notably maul any force that attacks it, and enough to give the Human Reform League firm and unyielding control over the area. It has a number of mobile suits, from regular Tierens to some reports of more advanced models. All in all, nothing you Meisters can’t handle, but we don’t want to be over confident either. That is why,” Sumeragi pressed a button out of view, and a five arrows appeared on the map, ”we are going do this carefully. We already showed the world how strong we are during our last operation; the three powers will be more and more prepared as our mission progresses.” Setsuna watched attentively; this presentation was boring! a good distraction from the Voice, who was apparently uninterested. Maybe it would just go away.
Not likely!

“As you can see,” Sumeragi continued, “the basic idea is overwhelming force from all directions.” I bet you would like overwhelming force from all directions, you Misato wannabe the Voice said spitefully. “As usual, Setsuna will be in first, to take the enemy’s main mobile suit force. Lockon, you and the Dynames will wait until Setsuna needs you, in case he gets in a sticky situation.” Setsuna held back a shudder, the Voice seemed to leer…

“Setsuna, don’t try and take to many men at once. Lockon will be ready for you if you get too many guns pointed in your direction; it looks like the enemy forces are getting used to your sword, and are staying at arm’s length.”
That’s right, Setsuna. Big strong Lockon will always be ready for you, he’s so reliable…

Setsuna coughed in shock. That Graham person was bad enough; he was not going to start thinking of Lockon as anything other than a reliable ally. Lockon was dependable, hard as a rock. He gave you whatever space he felt you needed, was mature enough to not make childish mistakes, and was always willing to lend a hand when needed. He’d do anything for his friends, and fight any foe. Someone to be respected, not, not drooled over!
Ah, but those are all great reasons he would work with you! You, the young boy in a dangerous world, him the solid guide to protect and lead you. It’s perfect! And you’re both so hot, it’s even better!

Setsuna winced at that, which just drew more attention to him. Sumeragi looked up from her notes. “Setsuna, are you alright? If you’re tired, you can go now. We’ve covered your duties, and you can just refresh on everyone else’s tomorrow morning at the final briefing.”

Now everyone was looking at him. Lockon was probably thinking something about how Setsuna was shaken up by the first battle, Allelujah was probably remembering their ‘talk’ before entering the base, and Tiera… no one could tell what Tiera was thinking at any time.

“No, I’m fine” Setsuna said. After a moment, Sumeragi looked back at her notes, plainly not going to make an issue of it. The Meisters in the room, though, looked at him for just a bit longer.

Sumeragi looked towards Allelujah. “Allelujah, you and the Kyrios are going to sneak around the back for a deep penetration raid with the missile bombardment mission pack. You are to attack their rear, as fast and hard as you can. Remember, in and out as fast as you can is the key yeah girl! ; you’re going to find yourself surrounded by the enemy’s protection if you’re too slow, and we don’t want you swamped by their men.
I take it back, I like how Sumeragi thinks!

“Tiera, once again you and Virtue are going to go after the enemy’s heavy artillery. This is where their biggest guns are; I want you to take Virtue for a flanking attack here and wipe them out. We expect them to thrust this way once the base realizes it’s under attack; time it right and you can take most of them by surprise. Penetrate the holes in the enemy defense from Setsuna and Allelujah’s simultaneous attacks and beat them away from reinforcing the base.”
Off. She meant beat them off, Setsuna, so the bad big men wouldn’t overpower you. Oh, is poor little Setsuna too innocent to know what goes through a girl’s mind? Hehe!

Setsuna coughed again, this time fighting the beginnings of a blush he could feel rising as he bent forward to hide it…
That’s right! Bend over, pretty boy! More! More!

“Setsuna…?” Sumeragi had a faint look of concern on her face. A Gundam Meister suffering problems was a BAD thing to have. She would have to check on that…

“I’m sorry. I must need rest more than I thought. May I go?” Still fighting the blush down, just barely.

“Get a good night rest.” Setsuna rose, but Sumeragi had one more thing to say. “Setsuna, make sure to clean your personal firearm before tomorrow. You never know when you might end up using it, and you don’t want it to fail on you because you forgot to oil your gun. Understand?”
Yeah baby yeah!

“Yes Captain,” Setsuna said stiffly. As he turned, Sumeragi thought she saw a bit of pink on his cheeks, but put it down to her imagination. Everyone knew that Setsuna was as solid as a rock; nothing ever seemed to affect him. Instead, she looked back at the remaining Meisters, but a silence fell among them.

“I suppose one of us should check him out, see if there’s anything wrong with him.” said Allelujah, breaking the silence. Sumeragi nodded, and the Voice no one else heard agreed.

“I’ll do it,” volunteered Lockon. “His room is beside mine anyway.”
Which makes it all the more convenient, doesn’t it?

“In that case,” Sumeragi said, “this meeting is done. Meet back up tomorrow for final briefing.” The screen went out, and the Meisters left the room. Allelujah and Tiera went towards their rooms, and Lockon ambled to Setsuna’s room and knocked on the door. After a moment, Setsuna opened the door, clad in a loose white shirt and some boxers. Lockon was suddenly reminded of how much he wanted to get out of his own pilot suit.

“You looked a bit troubled back there, Setsuna. Is there anything wrong? Anything I can do for you?” Something passed through Setsuna’s eyes faster than Lockon could catch.

Yes! “No.” And with that, the door slid shut meaningfully. Lockon stared at the door, blinked, and then walked away.




In a bed far away, Graham Acre was slowly waking up. He may have been unaware what he had done to a certain pilot’s mind, but then again he himself was repeatedly going over their fight in his own mind. He was alive, which was good, and not missing any limbs, which was even better, but not being able to defeat the Gundam was at the forefront of his mind. Then, in an instant, it wasn’t. There was movement beside him.

Turning his head, he could only see a form-hiding white lab coat and the end of a long stretch of hair. He made the appropriate conclusion. “Nurse?”

A soft but not gentle hit on his head rewarded him. “It wasn’t funny the first time, Graham, and it isn’t funny now.” Ah, Katagiri, his faithful friend.

There was a soft giggle; Graham turned to the other side and saw an actual woman in a lab coat. “Ah, so you’re the nurse?” he asked with a grin on his face, hamming it up.

The woman smiled. “Not quite; I’m a doctor, and it’s my happy assessment to tell you that you’re completely fine. Quite an achievement, considering the state you brought your mobile suit back in.”

Graham nodded. He would have known had he been injured, after all. “So tell me,” he started another friendly jab, “did Katagiri stay at my side the entire time?”

“Like you were his once-lost love.” The doctor could kid with the best of them.

Katagiri sighed; this was typical Graham humor. He decided to get back on track. “If you must know, I was reading a book while waiting for the results. Do you want them now or not?”

Graham heard the tone, and shifted to business mode. The Doctor did as well, and quietly moved out of the room. She had her own report to file. “And how was it?”

Katagiri checked his notes, a show only; Graham was sure Katagiri knew exactly what he was going to say. “Your suspicions were correct; it looks like the light particles are directly tied to the Gundam’s abilities. Both your Flag and the tests you ordered on yourself show evidence of radiation of some kind. Whatever it is, I’ve never seen it before. We’re going to kick it, and the battle data you brought back, up stairs for analysis. The radiation spiked massively when the Gundam used its energy sword, and your plasma blade has residual marks from your first strike against its solid sword. I’m willing to bet that a lot of engineers are going to have a number of sleepless nights thanks to you.”

Graham smirked at Katagiri’s accusing tone; he knew that Katagiri was going to be one of those techies, and was itching to figure out the Gundam’s mysteries. “Aside from that, what else?”

Katagiri sighed. “I know what you’re asking, and the answer is no. No sign of Celestial Being at the moment, no substantial new information has come up, though some are claiming a guy dead two hundred years is involved, and we don’t know where they ran off to. Not that it matters; you don’t have a suit to chase after them with anymore. Orders came in while you were asleep; both the Flag and the plane are to report to the nearest Union airbase, so that they can be studied for clues of the Gundams.”

Graham sighed. No helping for it, he supposed. Getting out of the bed, he started looking for a uniform. The hospital gown, while necessary, was not long-term wear. The plane was too cold, with too many drafts. By Katagiri’s movement out the door, he agreed as well. Graham jumped up, though, when he realized that Katagiri had not closed the door there were footsteps outside the hall. The Doctor stopped and looked in, raised an eyebrow as Graham turned around for decency’s sake, and closed the door.

“Cheeky bastard,” Graham thought.

And in some other plane, a Voice watched and looked to work with the two in the future…

[Dean_the_Young]

Like me, most of you have probably been going through the last 48 hours plus however long it takes me to write this in 00 withdrawal. Not because 00 episode 3 didn’t come out, but because you can’t find a decent sub. My understanding is that this is because the person who does it quickly AND well for the community was hit by a car.

Best wishes for him to get better (preferably by next Saturday).

But some of you still haven’t figured out what’s happened. Well, I’m here for you. I’ll conveniently summarize this episode from my viewing of the raw footage. Don’t worry about my lack of Japanese; I will conveniently include the important points, while throwing out useless relevant details and plot movement.

And here it is, in an attempt to copy/maul/bastardize a style we all know and love. Because imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, not evidence at a lack of originality…






Gundam 00 Episode 3: The World With Erie Similarities

OR

Count the Cameos (hint, not many)


(The fight between the totally awesome Union ace Graham Acre and Heero-wannabe Gundam Meister Setsuna picks up exactly where it left off, swords locked together. No flashback to when they conveniently met five seconds ago, no inter-episode gundam-jack, nothing. But since you’re special, I’ll include the only line that matters. )

Graham: You’ve captured my heart, Gundam!

(And then this.)

(Graham ducks a non-stock footage slash from the Exia and puts the Flag’s hand on the Exia’s shoulder. A loud metal screech results.)

Setsuna: (angry) You idiot! You scratched my paint job, and I haven’t even finished making payments yet! Die!

(Setsuna flies forward and slashes the Flag’s Linear rifle with the brand new GN Saber! Not a beam sabre that’s cliche. GN particles are the new M-particles, Nancy.)

Graham: You meanie! I don’t want to play with you any more!


(Daybreak’s Bell plays)

(The opening fades away. We are on the Nameless-Union-Transport-That-Looks-Like-A-Stealth-Bomber, aka NUTTLLASB. We’ll just call it the transport. In it, Graham and Billy Katigiri are sitting in a small room inside the transport, while the Flag is parked in Gerwalk mode in the enormous hanger inside the tiny plane. Graham is talking to Katagiri; Katagiri is on typing on a computer with coffee next to him.)

Graham: (completely different personality than before)He was a worthy adversary, so I let him go.

Katagiri: (sipping coffee while typing, not looking up) Uhuh.

Graham: (Arms crossed) Yeah, really. He put up a good fight, but it was no contest.

Katagiri: …says the guy who only touched him once.

Graham: Hey! Once was all I needed! I was totally owning that kid! Compared to the AEU or HRL grunts, I’m a god just for surviving!

Katagiri: …you were totally disarmed in under thirty five seconds, and then ran away crying.

Graham: But I still look awesome by comparison!

Katagiri: …true.

(Scene Ends. A number of short scenes from the various powers around the world. News and intelligence agencies across the world are looking for any hint of Celestial Being. So far, the CIA and one reasonably hot reporter have tracked down and are focusing on a man who died two hundred years ago. The CIA stops pursuing this track of how a man they killed so long ago could be doing this; clearly, they are idiots. However, all the highest offices of the world receive a similar briefing. Let’s go to the AEU.)

Minister-person of the AEU: That’s it?

Appropriately European Aide: Yes sir. It is our judgment that Celestial Being is evil, good, and stupid, all at the same time.

Minister-guy: Explain this to me. I’m a bureaucrat from a lineage of bureaucrats dating back to the first days of the European Union; I don’t understand.

Aide: Yes sir. We know they are evil because they blew up our stuff and are represented by a guy who wears a black coat and a monocle. Two of those could be a coincidence; you can’t go outside here in the future without bumping into some deadly guy who wears black. And humiliating us with a major international incident by exposing our breaking of a major treaty could be an accident. But a monocle? Only evil people wear monocles.

Minister-dude: And the good and stupid parts?

Aide: Oh, that. They’re good because they oppose all war and attacked the Human Reform League. They’re stupid because they attacked the Human Reform League and oppose all war while attacking the Human Reform League. But don’t worry; despite having our airspace around our critical orbital tower penetrated at will, we techno-conglomerates who are holding all of Africa as an empire again are perfectly safe. Evil realists always win, because good is stupid.

Minister-chum: Oh. Well, I always thought I was more realistic than evil, but it’s good to know that I have nothing to fear. In that case, I suppose I should approve that measure to sell more mobile suits to independent nations, even though they will likely end up in the hands of terrorists.

Aide: Very good sir.

(Scene change. The Gundam Meisters sans Setsuna are at a weird table at the base of the HRL’s tower. Setsuna comes up to the table.)

Setsuna: Sorry I’m late. Last parking spot that would take the Exia got jacked by some Yank from Jersey. That fat idiot pile-drived me for the spot. Then his pet monkey flicked me off.

Lockon: Ah, now worries. Don’t worry, your drink is still warm.

Setsuna: (eyebrow raised) Is that milk?

Lockon: Oh, yeah. You’re just a little guy, so you need some to grow big and tall.

Setsuna: (eyes narrow) Last week was more than enough. We don’t need that again.

Allelujah: What? Oh yeah, the yao- (Setsuna grabs his arm)

Setsuna: Not in public, or I’ll tell everyone what really happened to make your hair that way.

Allelujah: …fine. Wait, where did Tiera go?

Lockon: Oh, he went back to the Ptolemy, which uses our Gundams as giant batteries in an example of brilliant thinking of the future. Apparently Sumeragi was using the Food Processor Unit for beer again.

Setsuna: …and how’s he getting into orbit again? GN particles?

Lockon: Oh, he’s just taking the space elevator. Clearly, with all the powers looking under every rock for us, they won’t do a cursory scan of their own space elevators!

(Flash over to Tiera, who is currently on the elevator and counting the levels as he’s rising)

Tiera: Two thousand three, two thousand four, two thousand five…

(Flash back to the base of the elevator. Lockon walks out yawning with his arms raised high; Allelujah and Setsuna scoot upwind. As they leave, the camera moves over to a group of HRL soldiers standing in front of another door.)

HRL Grunt: How long are we going to have to stay here, sir? Three guys have already fainted, and now something’s reeking up the air.

HRL More-Important grunt: I told you it wasn’t me, didn’t I? And we’ll wait however long it takes. Other militaries show up thirty minutes early; we show up thirty hours! Deal!

(Before Grunt can answer, the sliding door opens. Out comes a scarred HRL officer. This is Sergei Smirnov, typically Russian in a alliance where India and China have much larger populations. He is carrying a suitcase almost as big as he is, with the occasional piece of dress or undergarment hanging out.)

Sergei: Please forgive my delay. I was asked to carry down one of Wang Liu Mei’s luggage bags left over from the party. You would think that five outfits in three episodes would be enough, but noooo, Comrades.

(Ass-kissing More-Important Grunt moves forward to take the bag; Sergei waves him back.)

Sergei: It is alright Comrade, I will carry it. I was told that if I took it everywhere with me, I would get Liu Mei’s autograph, Comrade!

(Out of the suitcase falls various cameras and automated spy equipment; Sergei puts them back in without looking at them.)

Sergei: But enough about this; take me where I am to go, Comrade.

(Scene flash. Graham and Katagiri are in uniform in the Union military headquarters, somewhere in South America. They are standing in front of an officer who looks upset.)

Officer: I know that both of you have been model soldiers, well respected by your peers. Katagiri, you helped develop the Union Flag. Acre, you are one of our most famous aces. But both of you have violated the agreement you made when you signed up. In taking a rule conveniently three hundred odd years old and dubiously stretching a past political issue to this age and time, I am afraid I am going to have to dismiss you for violating the Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell policy.

Graham: (Blink) …sir? I just asked Katagiri if he knew what was for dinner. He told me. That’s not what that’s talking about.

Officer: Really? I feel like a moron. Here, take these assignments to the new anti-Celestial Being group and try not to suck any more.

Graham: Who do you think I am, Patrick from episode 1?

Officer: True. Just don’t suck like that genetic clone the two of you split genes for. What was his name again?

Katagiri: Jerid. Appearance from the father, attitude from the father. And no, that doesn’t violate Don’t Ask either.

(Scene change again. It’s high school in Japan. Saji Crossroad is bored in class, his girlfriend Louise Halevy typing away behind him.)

Teacher: And in the twilight of the twentieth century, the even we now know as Second Impact…

Saji: Sigh, I wish I could just scene-flash ahead…

SCENE FLASH! SAJI AND LOUISE ARE AT THE CAFETTERIA!

Saji: Wha…? That rocks!

Louise: …huh? Have you been listening to a word I said, or were you looking at my bust again?

Saji: (thinking) Trick question, trick question! What was the right answer again… (out loud) Listening of course! What kind of guy do you think I am?

Louise: I don’t know, one that thinks my cousin finding she has breast cancer rocks? Men! Why can’t you be a super cool, hansom, and socially inept soldier like your next-door neighbor’s boyfriend? Geez, if he wasn’t already taken I’d dump you in a minute!

(She struts away, while other students laugh at Saji as he chases after her.)

Saji: (thinking) At least now I can fast forward through the apology to the good stuff, without having to put up with the talking anymore…

(Change scene to a nice fancy restaurant. Liu Mei, in yet another dress, is drinking an orange beverage. A long line of men are behind her, each holding either a drink or another flattering dress. A classy man cuts in front of the line, nods to Liu Mei’s bodyguard/bouncer, and sits across from her. The rest of the men groan and disperse.)

Alejandro Corner: Having a soft drink I see? Perfect imitation coke of some sort?

Liu Mei: Mr. Wayne already tried to ply me up with alcohol earlier, and I’ve already seen three guys and one girl try and slip Red Comet pills into my drink. I think I’ll play it safe now.

Alejandro: (hides bottle of pills in back pocket) Well, I have business to talk about, so I wouldn’t dream of that. Perhaps your bodyguard would like a drink from the bar?

(Hong Long goes to the bar. Before he orders a drink, a drink appears in front of him.)

???: Comer here often?

(It is Alejandro’s own companion. Long’s eyes widen as he sees a bottle of pills be put away.)

(Scene change. The HRL base at Siri Lanka from the last episode is back, and Sergei is being briefed about the Kyrios’s ejected missile container.)

Grunt: So we’re kind of mixed. Half of us feel that this is disgusting and should be punished, while the rest of us wonder just how we would fine them for mobile-suit scale littering.

Sergei: …I was given to understand that we had called in our forensics experts to track down clues from the container, Comrade.

Grunt: Well, that too, but the environment is important too! I’ll go get the Doc, though. Hey, Doc! New Inspector is here to look at the evidence!

(A man in a lab coat comes up, clearly having spent untold hours already looking over the missile pod.)

Doc: Oh great, another one. You inspectors are all the same. You come to the scene after we spend all those hours looking everything over, and then try to just go up and pick some piece of hair as the clue that will solve the crime. Well I got news for you, buster, it doesn’t work like that. A crime scene investigation is a very intense process done by experts, not something that any half baked inspector can…

Sergei: I am not an inspector, Comrade.

Doc: …you’re not?

Sergei: No. I am just in charge of the overall investigation of this matter. I want to know what you have found so far, Comrade.

Doc: You’re not going to solve the mystery in a convenient half-hour timeslot?

Sergei: It would be nice if I could, but no, Comrade.

Doc: In that case, sorry. Let me get my techno babble to English dictionary out…

(Scene shift back to Graham, who is looking over his Flag on a platform. An old man with a crane walks forward. This might be the real Alejandro Corner; I don’t know.)

Old man Corner: So, you seek to defeat your enemy, boy?

(Graham says nothing, just keeps looking at his Flag.)

Old man: I say, do you seek power to conquer your rival?

(Graham still says nothing.)

Old man: Hey, whiper-snapper! Down here!

Graham: (takes out headphones, which are playing Daft Punk) Yeah? What is it, old man?

Old man: You want me to make your mobile suit better for your next fight? I can have it done by next week for free!

Graham: Please, this a well maintained, cutting piece of military technology. You can’t just boost its performance in a week. What do you think this is, a cartoon?

Old man: Ah, but I’m a crazy mad scientist! I have my own secret lab of uncertain funding to do this! Why, I’ve been making robots super before you were a gleam in your daddy’s eye! Surely you’ve heard of… Erde Kaiser?

Graham: Nope.

Old man: Mazinger?

Graham: Nada.

Old man: Unit 01?

Graham: Sorry man.

Old man: (starts to cry) Is it so wrong to want to leave a legacy behind? Is it? I just wanted to be remembered as the man who made the robot of the unbeaten hero! Is that a crime?

Graham: Geeze, settle down. If you promise not to mess with my radio settings, you can fix my machine up.

Old man: That’s better. Oh, did you know that we can use the paint on your Flag’s fingers to trace Celestial Being? And that Celestial Being is attack the weak and helpless and Human Reform League right now?

(Cue a short scene in which Lockon learns to shoot a beam pistol with work mechs in an Africa mine as his targets. He looks bored as the miners shoot to no effect. In South America, Allelujah drops dozens of dumb bombs on a drug farm, as the local farmers watch their only form of economic support burn in front of them. Clearly Celestial Being is a good force that fights the fair fight, even more obvious as the Exia spins around in its “Stellar Dance”, cutting down hapless Zakus, er, Tierens, left and right. Suddenly, shells burst near the Exia.)

???: Stop right there! In the name of the series ugliest mech so far, I will punish you, Comrade!

(It is Sergei, in a Tieren high mobility type. Six times as fast as a regular Tieren (take that, Char!), but twice as ugly, the Tieren HMT zooms past as the Exia ducks. The Tieren keeps going forward, and keeps going forward, and…)

Setsuna: If I wasn’t such a bad shot with my beam rifle, he’d be dead by now…

Sergei: Ah, finally got that turned around, sorry about that. Now, to prove how awesome I am, I will beat you without my gun! Tieren Finger, Comrade!

(The Tieren HMT grabs Setsuna’s face. Well, the Exia’s. Setsuna would be squashed if it was actually his face.)

Setsuna: Want me to chop off your arm? You asked for it!

(The Exia swings its GN blade, but the blade doesn’t cut through the Tieren’s armor. Setsuna is shocked.)

Setsuna: My sword doesn’t work? But what will I do if I can’t spam my sword?

Sergei: Get creative is what I would say, but you’re done with! I will forever go down as the man who beat the main gundam in the third episode! I will clearly surpass Char and Jerid and Athrun in terms of rival greatness! And Graham too, Comrade!

Setsuna: Well, two of those aren’t hard, but psyche!

(Setsuna takes out his GN saber and proceeds to chop off the Tieren HMT’s limbs. The mobile suit falls down, and a few more explosions rip across the body.)

Sergei: …or maybe not, Comrade.

(Scene shift to space, where Tiera and the Virtue approach the mothership to serve battery duty. As the Virtue docks, Tiera looks bored.)

Tiera: Man, this is boring. Why couldn’t that punk Setsuna or someone else come up here? I don’t feel good unless I’m using my BFG, and there’s no one to use it on here.

(Sumeragi pops up on the screen. She is wearing an outfit that accents her generous curves, and her hair miraculously hangs mostly down in zero g while other parts… don’t.)

Sumeragi: Tiera, you’re more than welcome to come on board if you wish; I still have some beer left in my cabin if you want some.

Tiera: No, I’m fine Captain. The sooner I’m done, the sooner I can get back to Earth.

Sumeragi: Are you sure? You’re more than welcome in here., no need to be alone in that cold cockpit

Tiera: I’m perfectly fine. Some time alone won’t be the end of me. Thank you for your offer though, Captain.

Sumeragi: (After the screen closes) …and you wonder why some question your choice of people? (Shakes head.)

(Scene change again. We’re back in Japan, and Saji approaches his door. As he puts in his key, Setsuna puts his key in the next door over. Setsuna has a bandage over his head.)

Saji: Hey! So I guess you’re my new neighbor!

Setsuna: …yes.

Saji: What’s your name?

Setsuna: …Setsuna

Saji: Ookay… how did you get hurt?

Setsuna: … I tried to open the door on the other side of yours, and some girl with blue hair hit me with a fan. Then her boyfriend tried to shoot me, but she hit him harder.

Saji: Haha, Kaname’s pretty nice once you get to know her. Just don’t look like you’re trying to pick her door open, she hates that. Say, want to hang out sometime?

Setsuna: …no.

Saji: Oh, well, never mind then. Later.

(Saji goes into his home, but as he enters his sister, the female reporter from earlier, is leaving.)

Saji: Going out sis?

Kinue: I swear, I’m spending so much time looking for info on Celestial Being that if I ever find that a lead were right next door, I, I, I don’t know what I would do!

Saji: Well, sucks to be you. I’m going to veg in front of the tv, not do any homework.

(Kinue flicks him off as he goes to the living room, but he doesn’t see it. Instead, his phone rings. It’s Louise.)

Louise: Hey Saji, turn on the news! Even though the story is already playing as I’m talking to you, if you turn on now you’re sure to enter at a conveniently informative point with no confusion!

Saji: Ok!

Newsman: For those of you just turning in, in Britain today a holdout group of an insurgent group that disarmed over three hundred years ago has finally unilaterally agreed to cease its rebellion against the British State, which hasn’t existed within the European Union for nearly as long. Public opinion across the islands is potent, with thousands asking any reporter who approaches them “Who are these bloody wankers again?” and “Why haven’t I heard of them before?” Some are already attributing this miraculous occurrence to the mysterious but peace-seeking private army Celestial Being, who just last night simultaneously attacked farms in South America, a mining complex in Africa, and Human Reform League military outpost. I, for one, would like to welcome our new Celestial overlords.

Saji: Wow, that was conveniently timed, and informative to boot. Has Celestial Being already started to change the world for the better, or are they just a bunch of idealistic morons?


Find out next week, when Episode 4 comes out!




And now that I've gotten to 9 pages, I really shouldn't call these "drabbles." More like "one shots."

If you are one of the 137 people who have read this so far, please comment so I can know what to improve. This will go up anyway; you won't just get a better story if you tell me what I do right and wrong, you'll help me become a better writer as well. And more motivated as well. Did I screw up the first scene? Was my Sergei "comrade" motif constant enough/overbearing? What?