Gundam SEED: Kismet Chapter Fifty-One Preview 12/10/10

[rebel_cheese]

Thanks. You know, if you want to point something out as something good or bad to you, I'd like to hear it. But I'm glad I have one reader at least. XD
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Chapter Eleven: "Promise me"

May your trails be crooked, winding, lonesome, dangerous, leading to the most amazing view. May your mountains rise into and above the clouds.
-Edward Abbey

He limped into the alley, clutching his side. He had failed. Failed miserably, in fact. All he wanted was some bread, but he had no money to pay for it. So, he had attempted to steal. And, not only had he failed in getting money, he had failed even in a criminal act, and had barely escaped.

He put his free arm against the brick wall. His hands, rough from his already-harsh life, scraped against the brick. His nerve endings cried out, his hands were frequently raw and it didn't take a lot to make them bleed.

"Ow," he murmured. The shopkeeper had beaten him up with a baseball bat. Adults had no problem abusing kids if it wasn't their own, the boy had learned. The pain in his left side, where the shopkeeper had attacked him the most, was intensifying. Already, he was nearing collapse.

He leaned back against the wall and slid down it until he was sitting on the ground. He stared at the sky, where twilight was already filling the sky. It wouldn't be long before the sky was nothing but complete darkness.

"Damn it . . . how did that go wrong?" Tears filled the boy's eyes. "Why? Why he'd have to do that? All I wanted was a loaf of bread . . ."

He sobbed into his knees. He didn't want to go hungry tonight. He didn't want her to go hungry either, more than even him. He was already fourteen, he could live without a meal. But to make a ten-year-old suffer because of his failure . . . that was horrendous. It was as if he was injuring her himself.

"I'm sorry . . ." he whispered. "I'm so sorry."

"Big brother?"

The last thing he wanted to hear right now was that voice. He didn't want to tell her he had messed up. That she would be hungry.

"Mayu, I . . ."

"It's okay, big brother."

"What?" He looked up at her. She had a kind, understanding face of a girl who had been forced to grow up early and yet held onto some strains of innocence. She seemed to be on the verge of tears herself, but she was repressing them.

"I'm just glad they didn't kill you."

"It's just shoplifting, Mayu. They wouldn't kill me for-"

"They hurt you."

"Y-Yeah. I guess they did."

"Shinn . . ."

"Mayu, I . . ."

"Shinn, the fact you even tried means so much to me. You always try. Most of the time, you succeed. Everyone messes up once in a while, Shinn."

"Mayu, I should've been able to . . ." Now he couldn't even look her in the eye, he felt ashamed of himself. He should have seen that crack in the sidewalk. He was already getting away. If he hadn't tripped and fallen, she would be eating bread right now, and wouldn't be hungry throughout the night.

"It's okay, Shinn." She embraced him. "It's okay. I'm just glad you're still here. I'll take being hungry for the rest of my life if it means you're here."

It's not that simple, Mayu, Shinn wanted to say, but he couldn't quite say those words. It's never that simple.

"Remember what you told me, Shinn?" she asked softly.

"About what?"

She gave him a small amount of distance, and her hands cuddled her teddy bear as she spoke. "You said that everyone has an angel protecting them, don't they?"

That nearly shattered Shinn's heart, but he couldn't tell her that he had basically made that all up on the spot. If he did, her spirit would be crushed. The trust they had would be far weaker, if not completely gone. It was something Mayu fervently believed in.

"It'll be better soon, Shinn. I believe that it will. And it will happen. We're protected, we're alive, and we can make everything better. We just have to stay strong, okay?"

Shinn couldn't come up with any words to say.

"Please stay strong, Shinn. I love you."

And she bent down again and softly kissed him on the forehead.
***
Shinn stared at the dirty, dusty bear that had been hidden inside his closest. He picked it up and held it. Mayu had always carried that bear around, wherever she went. Whenever she was sad, she'd grip the bear tightly. When she was joyful, she'd run around with the bear in one hand.

By anyone's standards the bear was a standard bear. Brown, fluffy without being overly so, a formerly neat-red ribbon. The bear, however, had been scarred. Smoke accents permeated the bear, making it a darker, murkier shade. No matter how much Shinn wanted to wash the bear, he knew he couldn't. This was one of the last remnants of Mayu. Washing it and restoring it wouldn't bring Mayu back, not to mention it seemed to threaten erasure of her whenever he considered it.

The bear's existence now seemed to be focussed on one thing: that Shinn, for all of his promises and efforts, had failed the most important person in his life. He could not make that mistake again. Not when there was something else rapidly becoming important to him.

He sighed. Three years ago, she had died. Two years ago, he joined the ZAFT. Soon thereafter, he had discovered a code to a private fortune hidden inside the bear. His mother had always meant to provide to him, and had never expected her two children to live as street rats. She never expected that, never intended that, never wanted that. But when she died, that was what had happened.

She was a Coordinator. A wealthy one. Betrayed by her natural husband and shot because of pursuit of her fortune the moment he became the heir to it. She had hidden enough money for Shinn and Mayu to live on quietly somewhere, but neither of them had thought to open the bear, and Shinn had only done so by accident after he became part of the ZAFT.

She had died because she was a Coordinator. She had died because she was rich. She had died because the husband she thought had loved her was actually bigoted and hateful. Her two children had spent many years of their lives on the streets, abandoned and occasionally hunted. What fortune she had managed to put away for Mayu and Shinn before she died was what Shinn was living on, in addition to his income as a ZAFT soldier.

If you were still alive, Mayu, you'd be almost fifteen. I probably wouldn't be a soldier right now. Heck, we'd probably still be in Orb.

A sad smile crept across his face. Things did get better, didn't they? We had money, money the whole time and we never knew. If you were still alive we could've found it faster. Your suffering would have stopped.

He sighed. It doesn't matter. You're dead and I'm still here. I just wish-

"Aw, liddle Shinn still plays with his teddy bears," a familiar voice said in a mock-babytalk tone.

Oh, no.

"So," Lunamaria Hawke said with a most amused expression on her face, "Care to explain this to me?"

"It's my sister's," he said softly.

"I didn't hear that . . ." Lunamaria said teasingly, cupping her hand next to her ear in a exaggerated manner.

"It belonged to my sister!" Shinn borderline-shouted.

Meyrin's soft, girlish voice came from behind Lunamaria. "Luna, please, don't tease him," she said.

"So, you stole her bear away from her? What kind of brother are you, Shinn Asuka? A big baby type?"

"SHUT UP!"

Shinn rushed and tackled Lunamaria and sent her crashing into the wall. "Don't you dare say that. Don't you dare mock me over my sister!"

Meyrin stared at the sight, horrified. "Shinn, stop!" she yelled.

"Let go of me!" Lunamaria cried out as she tried to fight back. But Shinn continued to pin her to the wall.

"My sister is dead, Lunamaria. That's all I have left of her. I have no photographs, no possessions, no nothing besides that bear. You will not make fun of me because of that bear."

"God damn it, Shinn, I get it! Now let me go, you're gonna break my arm!"

"You won't get it." Shinn felt tears welling up in his eyes, but he ignored that. He wanted to teach Lunamaria a lesson, but at the same time, the more calculating part of his mind was asking him Why? Why are you doing this?

"You'll never get it unless Meyrin died," he said bitterly and finally let her go.

Lunamaria stared at him angrily. "What the hell is your problem?"

"You are," Shinn said.

Lunamaria's eyes glowered angrily. "I love my sister. Don't you dare insinuate that she'll die, Slant."

Lunamaria made a loud exhaling sound. "You're going to get reported for this. I will not be bullied around by someone like you. Meyrin, let's go."

"But Luna, I-"

"Let's go."

Meyrin gave one last look at Shinn, one that suggested at least a moderate amount of sympathy and pity, before she turned and followed her sister. Shinn took one final look at the drawer, picked the bear off of the ground, and shoved it back in and closed it.

Damn it. I'm going to get in so much trouble for this. Why'd I have to do something that stupid? Why?

He shut the closet door. That isn't what Mayu would have wanted. Not at all.

"So, am I allowed in or would that be a bad idea?"

It was a different familiar voice.

"Stellar," he said softly, looking at her. He felt even more ashamed than before. She had probably witnessed everything . . .

"Well, "Luna" looks furious," Stellar said, almost offhand.

"Yeah," Shinn said, not willing to look at Stellar.

There was a pause during which neither one spoke. Finally, Stellar said "I'm sorry about your sister, Shinn."

"Yeah, yeah, I don't need your pity," Shinn said bitterly.

Stellar walked into his room until she stood right beside him. "You loved her deeply. How much did she care about you?"

"I was the world to her, literally," Shinn said.

Stellar's hand patted his shoulder. "She must've been a good person, Shinn."

"You have no idea."

"You're right, I don't."

"Huh?"

"Give me an idea."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

Stellar looked down. "Can you tell me how she died, please? You've probably had this bottled up inside for so long . . . could you tell me? Just so someone else knows?"

"I don't feel like telling anyone about it."

Stellar sighed. "I understand. I've never had a family, I don't know how it feels to lose someone."

"What?" Finally, Shinn looked at her.

"You have no parents anymore either, do you?" Stellar asked pointedly.

"Uh . . ." Realizing he had been caught in a trap where there was no way out, Shinn looked away immediately, trying to come up with any defense, to find out he had none.

"They're both gone," Shinn said softly.

"I'm sorry."

"My father killed my mother. I was a little kid."

Stellar stared. "My God," she finally said.

"My mother was wealthy, a heiress to a massive PLANT corporation. The moment my father got access to her money he killed her . . . and revealed he was a member of Blue Cosmos too. He came after me and Mayu, but I ran . . . I didn't know what else to do."

Stellar said nothing.

"I . . . I did everything I could for Mayu for years. I shoplifted a lot. Stole cans, bread, clothing, bags of chips, fruit, whatever I could get. I tried getting a job but no one would hire a little boy, so I was homeless and hopeless. But she was always supportive. Always. Whenever I couldn't keep going, this little girl, this tiny, long-haired girl would seem to turn into a woman for a few brief moments, like we had traded places as the oldest and youngest siblings. She kept me going, kept me from giving up. Liked saying that we had angels watching over us, to make sure we were okay." Shinn chuckled bitterly. "She took a stupid story I told her and she believed it. But I had to tell her that. I needed to give her a reason to have hope. And she was full of it, because of the story."

"She must've been special," Stellar said.

"She was special. She didn't need to die."

"Did your father kill her?"

"No. He died in the middle of the Onogoro invasion. Random Mobile Suit blast into his building, I heard. One second, he was trying to pack his things up to flee to the Earth Alliance, the next moment he and his house were practically vaporized."

"Ouch."

"Yeah. Mayu didn't last much longer, unfortunately."

"What happened to her?"

"We were running, running so fast to escape the war. They had boats for refugees, we decided to try to make it. We were wandering across the road when a nearby "technical" truck on top of a hill took a blow from a EA Mobile Suit. It came tumbling down the hill."

"Oh no."

"Mayu was up ahead, I had pushed her, but I had slipped, turned my ankle. I was on the ground right in front of the crashing truck."

"Oh no."

"And then I saw this little figure running towards me, holding her teddy bear."

"Oh no."

"She shoved me out of the way, but took a direct hit from the truck, and got pinned to a tree. I got up to see the truck on fire, and little Mayu pinned to the tree, bleeding, in intense pain, still alive."

"Shinn . . ."

"I ran as fast as I could. I slipped and fell, my ankle wasn't supporting me at all, but I ran over to her. She was in tears from the pain, but she was smiling."

"Why?"

"'I'm just glad you're okay'."

"Huh?"

"That's what she said."

"Oh."

"She said after that, in this soft whisper, 'It's all right, Shinn. It's all right'. I said 'No, it's not! It's not all right! Mayu, just hang on! I'll get it off of you! I'll get it off!' She just smiled again, and reached her free hand, her left one, out to me, and I grabbed it, not knowing what else to do. She just said to me, 'It's okay, Shinn. I'll protect you from now on. I'll be your angel'."

By this point, Shinn was in tears, and Stellar had wrapped her left arm around his back. "'I'll be your angel', she said again, and then she died. She was in so much pain she was crying and she thought of me before herself. Mayu . . . she . . . she, she, she-"

"It's all right, Shinn. You don't need to say anything more."

"'I'll be your angel', she said. 'I'll be your angel. I'll be your angel'."

"Shinn, don't do this to yourself. Just stop for a second."

"If I had made her hate me, she'd be alive. Mayu would be-"

"Shinn, stop!"

Smack.

"Ow . . ." Shinn moaned.

"Don't you dare talk like that. Don't you dare think you should've pushed her away. I never had a real family, but that doesn't stop me from telling you that you're being a stupid idiot right now!"

"Stellar?"

Stellar took a deep breath, and tried to calm down. Finally, she said "Don't you dare think that you should push people away. You'll just die, lonely and isolated, that way. Mayu gave up her life for yours, don't you dare even think about dying."

She sighed. "What would she think right now of being a Mobile Suit pilot?"

"Probably hate me."

"No, she would not! If she hated you she would never have saved you, Shinn. But, if she's out there somewhere, you know what you're doing to her by going into combat? By fighting?"

"What?"

"You're probably making her cry, Shinn. I don't know what your motivation for fighting for the ZAFT is, whether it's your father, or the EA Mobile Suit that killed your sister, or whatever, but this doesn't sound like something your sister would want you to do."

"Stellar . . ."

She stared at him pointedly. "Do you want to die, Shinn?"

"I wanted to." Shinn's voice turned bitter, as he remembered the rage he soon developed at the Earth Alliance. "I wanted to die and take as many EA pilots with me as I could."

Stellar looked sad. "Do you still feel that way?"

"No. It was a random act of war, a Mobile Suit wiping out a rocket launcher crew to protect itself. It wasn't an attempt to kill me or my sister . . . the only person to blame is myself."

Stellar nodded. "I understand, Shinn. I'm sorry. I never knew how much you carry with you."

"You said you never had a family."

"I was abandoned at a church step when I was maybe a week old by the nuns' guesses," Stellar said softly. She chuckled sardonically. "My parents didn't even find me worth keeping and I was only a baby."

"You believe in God and angels?"

"Of course I do. You gotta believe in something, I think. Why do you think I spoke of your sister like she is watching you?"

Shinn froze. That's right. She spoke of Mayu like she really is watching over me.

He stared at his hands. I survived so much of that battle . . . including getting slammed into a hangar bay and another Mobile Suit. Is it possible that Mayu is protecting me, somehow, or am I just being crazy?

He looked at Stellar, and then back to the ground. This conversation's told me one thing, though. I no longer have a reason to be with the ZAFT. I could . . . I could . . .

Shinn sighed softly. "Stellar, what do you think of me defecting?"

Stellar looked confused. "Shinn?"

"This settles it. I have nothing holding me here. This discussion I just had with you told me that there's nothing here for me anymore and everything is at the Earth Alliance."

"Even though the EA shooting at that truck . . ."

"It's just a random act of war, like I said. Mayu would want me to move on, not to just continue raging at the world. Right now, you're representing the future, and the ZAFT is the past. I think I need to move forward."

"Shinn . . ." Stellar sighed. "Please think it through before you do something so rash. In the meantime, I have to leave. My Windam's been repaired and I'm needed back on the Abrams. I was basically coming here to say goodbye to you, Shinn. I'm late now."

Shinn nodded. "Thanks. For your time. I needed that."

"I know. Trust me, it's worth being late for this."

She hugged him, and he returned the embrace. "Shinn, I . . . I want to continue this. Promise me."

"I promise. After this is finished . . . we'll be together soon enough, Stellar."

She smiled. "Thank you, Shinn."
***
Rey za Burrel wished he could have forgotten that conversation. It wasn't like him to eavesdrop, but when he heard Asuka sobbing and this Stellar woman comforting him, he didn't want to bother Asuka yet and present him with a warning with future punishment yet to be determined for roughing Hawke up. Asuka needed to be punished, but Rey was already down by one wingman in the upcoming fight and he needed both Hawke and Asuka.

But this . . . Asuka thinking about defection. This was treachery. Conspiracy. He could literally throw Asuka in prison for life for this . . . and the Stellar woman would be far worse off.

But he knew he couldn't do it. He still needed Asuka. And he intended to keep Asuka around. Asuka was full of raw talent as a pilot, with more developing he could become a true ace. To lose him to the Earth Alliance because of his relationship with the Stellar woman . . .

He would never live it down.

Calm down, Rey. Calm down. You don't need to overreact yet. Think of it this way: you have one major bargaining chip to keep Asuka around. A threat to hang over him.

Asuka, one of the best pilots the ZAFT has left and a qualified candidate to handle one of those GUNDAMs the terrorists have now, defecting? Forget it. He's staying right here or he's going to rot in a cell for the rest of his life . . . but he doesn't need to know that yet.

But he'll know soon enough.
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There's a reason why Luna's a bit of a jerk. A very good one. It gets explained in the next chapter.

[DAG101]

Actually, there was something I noticed in chapter 10 that I forgot to mention.

You have Dearka saying 'Shiho or I'. I could be wrong, but I thing it should properly be 'Shiho AND I'. Also, although 'Shiho (And/Or) I' is grammatically correct, a person would, in ordinary conversation, probably say 'Me (or/and) Shiho'.

Anyway, keep up the good work!!!

[rebel_cheese]

Actually, there was something I noticed in chapter 10 that I forgot to mention.

You have Dearka saying 'Shiho or I'. I could be wrong, but I thing it should properly be 'Shiho AND I'. Also, although 'Shiho (And/Or) I' is grammatically correct, a person would, in ordinary conversation, probably say 'Me (or/and) Shiho'.

Anyway, keep up the good work!!!

Gah, I'm sorry about that. I was an English major, I occasionally mess up and have a character say something that doesn't fit. That's something to keep in mind if I ever post this fic elsewhere. Thanks for telling me.

I will have a new chapter, possibly two, up over the weekend. The holiday rush and other committments got me pretty bad. Oddly enough, November/December 2008 was more productive for this fic than 2007 and the rest of 2008 combined, so hopefully I can continue something resembling the blistering pace I've set here.

[DAG101]

Been a while since you last posted...are you going to post any more?

[rebel_cheese]

Been a while since you last posted...are you going to post any more?

Soon. I've been extremely busy lately. I promise there'll be an update this month, if not in the next week.

[DAG101]

This month would be fine. I just wanted to know if you were still gonna write this one.

[rebel_cheese]

Well, it took me until the end of the month, but I got a chapter ready to go.
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Chapter Twelve: Embarkment

On the occasion of every accident that befalls you, remember to turn into yourself and inquire what power you have for turning it into use.

-Epictetus

This is the Astray squadron, Athrun thought at he stared at the fourteen pilots he would be commanding during the emergency detonation of Junius Seven. Word was spreading all over that an ambush was expected, and half the pilots seemed to be eagerly awaiting battle, while the other half seemed to fear it.

What compounded everything and made it worse was the age of the pilots.

They're just kids, Athrun thought, as he tried to keep the trepidation from his face. They're all in their teens. I'm twenty and I must be some kind of old man to them.

The leader of this group, a tall brunette with dark blue eyes, saluted Athrun. "Commander Dino," she barked. "I am Lieutenant-Commander Karen Walsh. This is the 3rd Astray Squadron, or 'The Bloodmoons'."

Dino nodded to the officer. She was the only one who didn't seem to be a teenager, in fact, she might actually be older than him. Then something occurred to him.

"Your name is familiar, Lieutenant-Commander. Can you enlighten me?"

"My brother fought during the final attack on Genesis, he escorted none other than Princess Cagalli to destroy it," she said. Her eyes momentarily turned sad before they turned back into the customary steel of a military officer. "He died during the assault, reportedly during the storming of Genesis itself."

That's where I've heard the name, Athrun thought. He knew that three Astrays had accompanied him and Cagalli during the assault, but only two actually left Genesis.

"I'm sorry," he managed.
"
He did his duty," Karen Walsh said, showing no signs of being affected by the death.

Athrun sighed. He had to make a stronger impression on the squadron. "All right, listen up. I am Alex Dino. I fought during the last war, much of it at Princess Cagalli's side. What we will probably be up against is a remnant of the hard-line regime that controlled the ZAFT three years ago."

"What does this have to do with anything?" said one of the teenagers, this one a boy whose voice was obviously breaking.

"I'm getting to that," Athrun said, keeping all signs of annoyance out of his face, instead channeling it through his voice. "If you'll let me talk, and stop your insubordination, you'll actually learn something."

Silence.

"Good," Athrun said, and he cleared his throat before continuing. "Junius Seven's fall is currently thought to be sabotage because of the unnatural way it fell from its orbit. The only terrorist organization with the resources to do such a thing is the Coordinator Liberation Front . . . which coincedentally or no, was behind the recent theft of five GUNDAM machines built by the ZAFT. Their capabilities are beyond the current chassis of any mass-model in production."

He sighed. "In other words, we'll be outmatched in all but numbers. And that's how we're going to beat the GUNDAMs. The CLF only have one major ship that can battle our fleet directly, plus corvettes and various Mobile Suits, some of which are little more than glorified scrap. We can easily fight and defeat those. It's the GUNDAMs that will make the fight a lot more dangerous."

He paced in front of the group, getting a good view of their faces. He had managed to get their attention, that was a good sign at least. However, their youth continued to worry him. How would they react under combat? How would they manage to keep control when their friends and wingmates were struggling and dying around them?

He realized that's probably what his superiors thought of him too, when he was their age.

He had managed to hold together, somehow. He had survived the Bloody Valentine with most of his friends, but without his family. But the hope of a new family with Cagalli made him continue on. Problem was, if there indeed was going to be a fight . . .

He shook off the thoughts. He needed to focus. His mission now was to get the "Bloodmoons" through the battle. That was what Cagalli has assigned him to do as an Orb soldier. This was his duty. He had to do it.

He resumed speaking. "The best way to defeat a GUNDAM is to surround it and blast it from all sides until it's down. Phase Shift Armor, among other things, will make this difficult. We'll need to work with both ZAFT and Earth Alliance Mobile Suits to defeat the GUNDAMs."

"Aren't you making assumptions, sir?" a girl asked.

Athrun stared at the girl, and she seemed to cower. Athrun calmed down. She was a rookie, just like he had been. He didn't need to chew someone out just because she was naive, it would be better to explain.

"When there's any chance of terrorists being in the area, it is better to assume they're there than not, Ensign," Athrun said. "You assume you're safe too much, well, look what happened to Junius Seven in the first place."

Silence again.

Athrun took a deep breath and exhaled. "All right, I want everyone to stick together. We're going to come out of this fight, got it? GUNDAMs or no GUNDAMs. In any case, they'll probably target me because I'm flying a GUNDAM myself . . . the Strike Rouge."

He let that sink in.

"But don't assume you're safe. Never assume you're safe on the battlefield. You do, you'll be receiving a memorial service somewhere. I don't want that happening to any of you, understand? We're going to be escorting Team Jewel to the station, and we'll blow it up before it hits the Earth."

He saluted them. "Stay smart, stay sharp, and we'll win this. Listen to me and your wing commanders. This fight is winnable if we're careful and if we use our numbers and coordination to our advantage. Everyone understand that?"

A chorus of nods.

"Good. Meet back here in 0030 hours. This is going to be the most important thing most of us have ever done. The Earth rides on everyone's success. You're all dismissed."
***
She couldn't keep her hands from shaking when she saw Athrun down there in the hanger bay. Her eyes blurred for a moment, and she tried to swallow the lump in her throat.

Please, Athrun, don't die. I hope I didn't just kill you.

She forced herself to breathe, to stay strong. She was going to be the leader of her nation in under a year. She had to keep her emotions in check. And even though she still couldn't completely do that, she had made progress. But Athrun . . .

It was like she hadn't matured since Heliopolis, really.

I'm the princess! I'm going to be the leader. I have hard decisions to make. I have projects that need to be done. I have citizens who need to go home. I can't just collapse and cry . . . but he's the man I love. How can I just sit here and be stoic when he could die?

"Are you all right, Princess?" asked Admiral Ledonir Kisaka. He had been transferred from the army to the fleet successfully enough, and even now their adventures in North Africa together was going on three years' old, he was still one of Cagalli's closest companions.

"I . . . made a really hard decision," she managed. She couldn't keep her voice from breaking, despite her best efforts.

"Do you think it's the right one?" Judging by his tone of voice, Kisaka knew full well what was going on. He was one of the few who had been privy to the creation of the "Alex Dino" identity, it made sense that he knew Athrun was about to go into combat.

"I have no idea," Cagalli said softly. "Those pilots are nearly all teenagers. They need someone like Athrun to lead them . . . but at the same time, Athrun is going to be a target, a big one, for those GUNDAM machines are out there, and we know they are. I'm just hoping I haven't signed his death warrant."

"Athrun isn't far removed from being a teenager himself," Kisaka pointed out.

"Neither am I," Cagalli said. "But somehow we have to make decisions like people twice or three times our ages usually do."

"It's what happens with there's a catastrophic war," Kisaka said sympathetically.

Cagalli gripped the railing so hard she was surprised she wasn't bending it. At this moment, she wished she was the one down there, leading those people into battle, and Athrun was the one up here worrying about her. Just so she didn't have to deal with the pain of losing him . . .

"Cagalli, are you all right?" Kisaka asked then.

"I will be once Athrun's out of danger." Cagalli forced a steely, commanding tone into her voice then. "Tell everyone to get into battle positions and prepare for enemy attack. We have to be getting close to Junius Seven by now."

"We're minutes away as a matter of fact," Kisaka said.

"Then get everyone ready in case of an ambush. I'll follow you in a couple of minutes," Cagalli said, and she resumed staring down at the hangar bay below, watching Athrun chat with a female lieutenant-commander. She regarded the lieutenant-commander with slight suspicion, until she realized how ridiculous she was being. Athrun was never that kind of person. He just couldn't be.

She turned to see that Kisaka had vanished, off to accomplish his task. Cagalli sighed and looked down towards Athrun one final time, before turning her back to the hangar bay. She couldn't let her emotions rule her, not now. Her goal, her mission, was to observe the destruction of Junius Seven, where the seeds of the Bloody Valentine War had begun.

The war that had killed her father, had turned her twin brother Kira into such a mess, murdered so many Orb citizens and shattered others . . .

She couldn't let such a thing happen again. Not now, and definitely not in the future either. She was being counted on to be the leader of Orb. She needed to ensure its peace and survival, but only being able to watch the destruction of Junius Seven was going to be difficult. After all, the peace treaty that ended the Bloody Valentine War took place at Junius Seven.

Fate is a cruel mistress, Cagalli had heard from somewhere before. It seemed to fit. Every troubling thing about the world revolved around Junius Seven. And, even when it was destroyed, Cagalli wouldn't be surprised if the ramifications hung around a while longer . . .
***
"So, Stellar, what's it like inside a ZAFT vessel?" asked Sting Oakley.

"Um," Stellar said, as she realized she was blushing a bit, "The same as the Earth Alliance vessels, pretty much. The hair colors are also a little more crazy."

"Auel thought his hair color was crazy . . . " Auel mock-moaned.

"You just dye your hair blue. You intentionally make your hair crazy. Like you make your personality crazy. These people . . . they were born with it."

Sting looked just a little annoyed with the way the conversation was going. "Look, are we going to spend all day talking about the weird hair colors that ZAFT people have or are you going to say something actually important? We're going to be deploying any minute now."

Stellar bit her lip. I know I should be saying something, because if the ZAFT do turn on us someday, anything I know will help. But I don't want to say anything. Not while Shinn is still there.

"I don't know. I didn't really try to memorize everything."

Sting looked skeptical. "Oh, but you took the time to memorize hair colors."

"When you've got pink-haired people surrounding you it's hard to forget," Stellar replied pointedly.

Sting looked dumbfounded for a second before he finally spoke. "Point taken."

I know Shinn said he'll come back with me, that he'll leave the ZAFT. But he hasn't defected yet. He's still there, he's still on one of their ships. I can't do anything to compromise him until he comes here. Before . . . before we're finally together.

Auel laughed. "Why so serious, Sting? Auel finds it hard to keep a straight face when he sees the green-haired ones, personally."

Sting didn't look amused. "You're both forgetting we're half-Coordinators ourselves."

That brought a silence to the cabin. Only the sound of the ventilation could be heard.

Sting spoke then, calmly but firmly. "Coordinators are humans too, and so are we. I don't see how either of you go off making jokes about Coordinators when, to Naturals, we're just like them."

"But to Coordinators we're only Naturals," Stellar said.

Sting sighed. "Look, just watch it, all right? I'm going to get ready. I've never been this ready to blast something my whole life."

Sting just walked out of the cabin then, a determined expression on his face, and silently closed the door behind him.

Auel whistled softly. "Never seen Sting so serious before. He usually rolls along with the jokes and stuff."

Stellar looked down. "He is right, though. We're treating the Coordinators like jokes, especially when we could be fighting against them very soon."

Auel laughed again. "You don't worry about a thing. Sting and Auel will both protect you."

"Right, sure you will. I don't remember either of you being around in the last battle," Stellar said, half-amused.

"Ouch."

Suddenly, the intercom blared. "All pilots report to hangar bay. All pilots report to hangar bay."

"Well, that's our cue, Auel. Let's get going."

"I can't wait."
***
I can wait forever for another fight, Shinn thought as he stared into space. Usually during the briefing sessions he paid closer attention but right now, his mind was a haze, a haze so think he couldn't make out right from left, or backwards from forwards. All he knew was that his promise to Stellar had clouded him somehow, and now he felt isolated from everyone here.

I just promised Stellar I'd betray all of these guys. Madd Aves, Vino, Yolant, Lunamaria, Rey . . . I just promised I'd leave them all behind.

"Ensign Asuka, are you paying attention?" Rey za Burrel asked sternly.

"Uh, yes sir," Shinn mumbled. "I'm just tired. From yesterday, sir."

"Shake off the fatigue, Asuka. If you don't you could be dead soon," Rey said coolly and then he resumed his presentation, and again Shinn drifted off into his own thoughts.

Rey looked at me funny there. I wonder if he knows what I'm going to do.

The thought of it nearly made him shiver in fear. He better not. If he knows I'm so dead. I'm going to be locked in a cell somewhere and no one would ever see me again except the cell guard and my executioner.

"Asuka, are you really paying attention?"

Rey again.

"Yes, sir. I'm just a little nervous, that's all. I had a rough go of it in the last battle."

Good lie, Shinn. With a little more practice you'll be a helluva good one.

"This is also no time for cowardice, Asuka. I know you had a . . . interesting time in the last battle, but you survived. That's what matters most of all."

"Yes, sir."

Shinn's response seemed to have satisfied Rey, who continued his briefing. Out of the corner of his left eye he noticed Lunamaria glowering at him. He made sure to avert his gaze. He doubted that Lunamaria would help him at all if there was a fight. She was probably furious over the fact that Shinn wasn't receiving any punishment, at least, not yet.

What am I going to do? Even if I survive the battle, if there is one, I've surely been reported for what I did to Lunamaria. What'll happen to me next?

Perhaps it would be for the best if he defected as soon as possible. He could escape punishment that way and be able to escape before Rey could investigate whatever suspicions he had. There was no way he was going to be separated from Stellar. Not when, after all this time, he had finally met someone other than Mayu that sincerely cared about him.

I lost Mayu. I'm not going to lose you too, Stellar. I swear it.
***
"All GUNDAMs get in ambush position. I repeat, all GUNDAMs get in ambush position," Janeane said over the private GUNDAM com. The engineers had been able to scrape together a private and scrambled channel in a fairly short time, but it was definitely breakable. The whole rushed nature of this plan unnerved Saburo greatly, even more than knowing that Indira, Ilia, or whoever she was was right next to him in her own GUNDAM.

Why couldn't they let a real, experienced pilot take control of this thing? I want to sit this battle out . . .

But, apparently, they felt he was the best pilot for Gaia, so now he was out here, hiding in the ruin of Junius Seven, ready to ambush the inevitable demolitions team.

The commanders have to know that the ZAFT at least will be expecting something. They're not stupid. They'll probably let the Naturals know too.

Had it really come down to this? Trying to destroy the Earth? What was Saburo truly fighting for, now?

He wasn't sure anymore. He just knew that if he didn't fight, he was guaranteed to die.

I don't want to die . . . but I don't want to do this either! So what do I do?

But he knew he only had one choice, in the end. If he fought, there was at least a small chance he'd survive. If he didn't, his own side would shoot him down if the enemy didn't use him for target practice. Ezalia Joule wasn't suicidal like a lot of the CLF. She had to have an escape plan at least.

That made Saburo a little happier. If Ezalia did have an escape plan, all he'd need to do is latch himself onto it. And then he'd survive. And then he'd escape, and live a quiet life somewhere, anywhere. Where he'd never have to do this again.

But first he'd need to survive this first.

Janeane Cruz's voice again emanated over the airwaves. "Demolitions team sighted. Designation: Team Jewel. They are being escorted. Hold your fire."

Oh crap. I can't believe they're already here.

"Hold your fire. Not yet," Cruz warned.

This is it. I'm fighting for nothing but my own survival and killing all of the Naturals on Earth. I should be salivating for this.

He paused in thought for a moment.

Then why aren't I?

He had to shove his thoughts aside, as Team Jewel, with their demolition equipment, came into range.

He put his finger on the trigger, and waited for the order.

In just a few seconds, a silent, flashy hell would break loose in the vacuum of space.[/b]

[rebel_cheese]

Sorry about the double-post.

[rebel_cheese]

Chapter Thirteen: Strife

I spoke of most disasterous chances,
Of moving accidents by flood and field;
Of hair-breadth 'escapes the imminent deadly breach.

-Shakespeare, Othello, I

It came all of a sudden, a sudden green flash emanating from the Junius Seven ruins. A single bolt powered through the darkness, very briefly illuminating the ruins during its travel from a beam rifle to its target. And the beam found its unsuspecting target. A Zaku. The green beam slammed right into the center of the Mobile Suit and left a gaping hole where the pilot's seat used to be for a few brief seconds, sparks flying everywhere only to die from a lack of oxygen.

Finally, mercifully, one of the sparks connected with the fuel before it died and the Mobile Suit erupted into a column of violet smoke.

And then Yzak Joule knew he and his team were under attack. Just as everyone had expected. That's why Team Jewel had lagged behind a bit, to let professional Mobile Suit teams clear the area. And now, with the lone shot fired, Yzak knew there were foes to clear out. And he had to clean them out quickly, or Team Jewel would have no choice but to proceed with their operation under withering enemy fire.

The moment before the Mobile Suit exploded, Yzak was already giving orders. "Scatter into pairs!" he shouted. "Everyone hunt through every single corridor. Identify and shoot any rogue Mobile Suits. And be careful, we have Earth Alliance and Orb operating here too."

His Mobile Suits, all Zakus, did so, and Yzak proceeded with Dearka as his wingman. Dearka's voice came in, sardonic. "That was a beam from a GINN," he said.

"I know," Yzak replied. "Never thought I'd have to fight a GINN either."

All chatter stopped the next second, as one of the said GINNs jumped from behind a piece of floating Junius Seven rubble. Before the GINN could get a lock on both Yzak and Dearka fired on the GINN, and Yzak saw both shots strike the GINN and destroy it immediately.

"Well, that's half a GINN painted on the side," Dearka said. There wasn't any emotion in his voice now.

Yzak didn't answer. Mom, you're really the one behind this, aren't you? Why? I never thought you were . . . one of these crazy people.

"They're amateurs, Yzak," Shiho said. "We just wiped out six of them in an instant."

This is too easy. There must be a trap somewhere closer to the main section of Junius Seven. Somewhere by where we need to plant the Meteor Breakers, Yzak thought.

A communique came into his ear. "Captain Joule, may I ask why the Meteor Breakers are not being deployed if the enemy forces are being defeated?"

That was the captain of the ship Yzak had launched from. He was new to the position, Yzak struggled to remember the captain's name. Forsythe or something like that.

"Captain," Yzak said. "We cannot guarantee that the the main section of Junius Seven is safe for Meteor Breaker deployment. It is likely there will be an ambush if we get there."

"Captain Joule," the captain said harshly, "The Earth Alliance is already preparing to put their own detonators on Junius Seven. I will not let the Earth Alliance destroy Junius Seven. This is our responsibility. Or are you afraid of confronting your mother?"

Damn him, he's trying to trap me.

A private communique reached him a moment later, from Dearka. "Don't worry about a thing, Yzak. We'll handle it. Whatever comes we can take it."

Yzak sighed. He didn't have much choice. People were going to die because of this . . . and Yzak would likely be blamed for it because he rushed in there without considering the consequences. And somehow the captain would avoid blame.

"Team Jewel, begin Meteor Breaker deployment. Follow my squadron to the main section and prepare to place your detonators."

"Understood, sir," said the leader of Team Jewel, a woman whose name Yzak couldn't recall either.

Then they began flying through the rubble. Yzak scarcely blinked. He looked here, there, everywhere, searching for any operating rogue Mobile Suits. Or, in the worst case, those thieved GUNDAM machines he had heard about. The mere thought of him having to face those things unnerved him. The GUNDAMs could cause a hell of a lot of damage in the previous war. And these were supposedly better.

Damn it, if there's GUNDAMs hanging around by the main section we're gonna have a massacre, Yzak thought as he saw the main section. He couldn't pick anything up, but there was so much rubble everywhere it was hard for him just to navigate.

"I can't believe this is Junius Seven," Dearka blurted out.

Neither can I. And I'm trying to blow it up, Yzak thought. Then, suddenly beeping sounds meant to warn him activated, and he immediately looked at his radar screen.

Damn, just as I expected.

Yzak immediately yelled out "Ambush! The GUNDAMs were waiting for us! Team Jewel, scatter and hide in the rubble! WE'll handle the GUNDAMs!"

There were two of them. Yzak tried to remember their classifications. Impulse and Saviour, he thought. Then where's the other three?

He had no further time to ponder as the two GUNDAMs began firing at Yzak's squadron and Team Jewel. Four Mobile Suits exploded, and Yzak knew that this was going to be the most difficult fight he'd ever had. In all of his fights in the Bloody Valentine War, he was fighting on equal or superior footing, and could down enemy ships with ease.

But now, he was the one who could get massacred. And his squadron was already down four machines, and Team Jewel had just taken a casualty. If he didn't do something . . .

"Everyone, scatter! Whatever you do, don't stop moving! Th emoment you stop you're dead!" Yzak shouted, and immediately began evasive maneuvers as he saw the GUNDAM dubbed "Impulse" charging his way. The Impulse's attempt to cut him down with a fused, double-bladed anti ship sword failed, and Yzak grunted. If that had connected . . .

He couldn't worry about that now. He was now in the fight of his life. And if he wanted any chance of surviving this . . . he needed to take these people out.

Even if it meant accomplishing the impossible and destroying a GUNDAM with a mass-production Mobile Suit.

Yzak looked at Impulse with determination. If anyone could do that: score a GUNDAM kill with a Zaku . . . it would be him.

"Dearka, Shiho, on me!" Yzak called out. "We're taking the Impulse out! Again, whatever you do, don't stop moving!"

"Got it," Dearka said. Shiho remained silent, but Yzak saw her Mobile Suit join the battle, and Yzak smiled grimly.

We're gonna do it. We're going to take you down, Impulse, Yzak said, and then he drew his MA-A8 Beam Tomahawk.

"Here's your welcome soiree, Impulse. You're up against three aces of the Bloody Valentine War," he said in a channel meant to reach Impulse's.

"You ready to dance?"
***
"Aw, man, how many of them are there?" Auel wailed as he fired his rifle again at a patchwork GINN. The GINN was destroyed, and Stellar sighed in relief. It seemed that the Earth Alliance's chosen penetration into the Junius Seven colony was the toughest one chosen, considering there were far more forces to contend with here than elsewhere.

At least this means Shinn isn't doing as much fighting, she thought. I prefer it that way. This means he won't get shot down.

"Stellar, behind you!" Sting shouted then, and Stellar instantly spun her Windam around.

You Coordinators aren't the only ones with quick reflexes, you know! Stellar thought and she opened fire right before the enemy GINN did. The GINN exploded, but one of his shots did manage to go off, forcing Stellar to dodge the shot. The beam hit a large piece of rubble that had just detached from the Junius Seven colony, and the rubble cracked and split into two pieces.

"Good shot," Sting said with mild surprise in his voice.

I won't die, Sting. I just won't.

Suddenly, the commander, Badaglip, came onto their com. "Everyone, form up on me."

"What is it, sir?" Stellar asked.

"You won't believe the instructions I've been given . . ."
***
"We need to capture the GUNDAMs?" Shinn shouted into his com.

"Ow, Shinn," Lunamaria said in both pain and anger.

"Are they crazy? They could wipe us out at will! If we can't go all out, how do we even stand a chance against those things?"

Rey's voice came back, calm and cool. "Regardless of our personal feelings on the matter, Asuka, we have to obey these orders. I believe the squadron guarding Team Jewel has encountered two of the GUNDAMs. Let's give this our assistance."

Damn it, this is a suicide order, Shinn thought, and he took out his anger by poundong on an empty part of his console. The only way we have a change of beating them is to go all out and for the kill! Otherwise, we could all die!

"And in any case," Rey said a moment later, "It's not like we can't remove pieces from them. We have the designs. We can always replace the arms and legs or gather them up once the battle is over. We're only have the main console."

That's a little better, but then why do we need to capture the GUNDAM anyway if we could replace parts?

Shinn decided not to voice those concerns. He had suspicions that Rey knew something about Shinn he shouldn't, and he was probably still in trouble over the "slamming Lunamaria into a wall" incident. If he wanted any chance of having a life after this was over, even if he simply defected to the Earth Alliance, he had to follow orders. Which meant having to survive a battle with a GUNDAM.

"All right, Asuka, Hawke, form up on me. We're heading ot Team Jewel's contact point and engaging the two GUNDAMs," Rey said, and Shinn dutifully followed Rey.

I'm not going to die, Shinn thought. I'm not going to get killed by a GUNDAM. Not today!
***
"Well, this battle could be going better," Ezalia Joule noted sardonically as she stared at the battle grid. The ZAFT forces were having the easiest time breaking through, while the Earth Alliance and Orb were having more difficulty because more defenses were placed there. Stationery guns carefully placed in the rubble had also garnered some enemy casualties but no matter, the fact that the GUNDAMs were already forced to engage was a sign that the inevitable Meteor Breakers would be deployed in force soon.

"Yes, it could, ma'am," said one of Ezalia's many lieutenants. "But the two GUNDAMs we placed at the likely destruction zone seem to have halted their advance."

"GUNDAMs can't solve everything," Ezalia said. "We learned that the hard way in the last war. We stole four GUNDAMs and built two others and that didn't win us the last war."

The lieutenant didn't answer, and Ezalia sighed. So many of the people here had such insipid faith in what was essentially a fancy Mobile Suit too expensive for mass production. If anything, the GUNDAM were just prototypes to see whether anything the GUNDAMs had could be ported to mass-production Mobile Suits. They were better than any Mobile Suits but in such short numbers and against such a huge mass-productions force they would be worn down. At the least they would run out of ammunition and power after a while and then there would be trouble.

"We're going to need to fall back soon," Ezalia said to the lieutenant. "We can't stay here for very long anyway. In twenty minutes we won't be able to escape Earth's gravity."

"I know, ma'am. But are you sure we should reveal ourselves so soon?

Ezalia took a moment to think. As much as she was tempted to simply run, if the enemy was able to break Junius Seven into small enough pieces, the Earth would receive virtually no damage.

"No. Hold our positions for now. I'll standby on the GOUF Ignited in case I'm needed to join the fray too."

"But ma'am, you're too important to-"

"All of our qualified Mobile Suit pilots, except one, are risking their lives out there for this. I'm the only qualified pilot not joining in the battle. If we need to escape under fire, this ship needs an escort because more than one of those Zakus has to have an anti-ship weapon equipped. It's best that if we have that escort ready to fly if that happens."

Pause. The lieutenant finally nodded. "Understood, ma'am. We'll keep you updated on the situation."

"Just promise me you'll know when to escape when the time comes. We can't die out there."

The lieutenant nodded. "I know, ma'am. Trust me."

Ezalia nodded. "Good. Keep in contact with me. If something happens . . . I'll do what I can."

And then she turned and walked off the bridge.
***
"Well, we've certainly made progress," Talia Gladys said nonchalantly as she stared at the scene in front of her. Far away, she could see the flashes emanating all over the ruin. Despite it seeming so insignificant, perhaps even beautiful from this distant, she knew full well there was an intense fight between Mobile Suits going on there. And with every flash, a person could be dying.

"I am still questioning the order to capture the Mobile Suits instead of destroying them," Arthur Trine said morbidly.

"It's simple," Durandal said. "Those Mobile Suits are ours and we must get them back however necessary."

"Why? Can't we simply build more?" Talia asked. Arthur needed support. If she didn't at least give him a hand right now he would only become demoralized.

"We have a set limit on defense spending that we cannot surpass except in times of war. Right now, we are not at war, and rebuilding those five Gundams cost about as much as building five squadrons of Zakus," Durandal said. "Those five GUNDAMs contain absolutely cutting-edge technology that take millions just to assemble, much less install, test, and everything else that goes into producing and operating those things. We cannot afford to rebuild those things until next year."

Do I detect some anti-EA sentiment in that? Talia thought. She decided not to push it. Right now, there were far more pressing concerns to worry about . . . such as the end of the world.

"I have a report coming in from Team Jewel," Meyrin Hawke announced. "We've managed to deploy Meteor Breakers Six and Eight."

There was a particularly bright flash then, that even at this distance Talia had to squint to bear to look at that.

Meyrin's voice sounded remarkably empty when she broke the silence. "That was Meteor Breaker Seven. From what I can make out it was shot . . . all on the deploying team are MIA, ma'am."

We can't afford to lose too many of those, Talia thought. If we do we won't be able to break it into smaller pieces.

"I've heard of GUNDAM deployment," Talia said. "What have we made contact with?"

"Orb's had no GUNDAM contact and they're starting to deploy their Meteor Breakers, they have four installed. The Earth Alliance is in contact with three GUNDAMs, they've only been able to deploy one of their own breakers. And we've made contact with the other two GUNDAMs."

Talia looked at Durandal. I wonder how else you're going to interfere in this military mission, Talia thought.

But Durandal surprisingly didn't do any of the sort. "Just concentrate on the two we're dealing with. Right now, the priority is destroying Junius Seven. If we let it fall there won't be a home if the PLANTs ever fail."

Talia nodded, and allowed a small smile to cross her face. You're no fool, are you, Chairman.

"I understand, Chairman," Talia said a moment later. "How many breakers deployed now, Ensign Hawke?"

"Um, four now. And we're setting up a fifth."

"How much time until our Mobile Suits can't escape the Earth's gravity?"

"Ten, maybe twelve minutes, if we're lucky."

"Tell the Mobile Suits they have five minutes to deploy the other breakers. Relay that to the other ships as well. We're going to blow this thing and then use any remaining breakers on the fragments or use our ships' cannons to take care of them," Talia said.

"U-Understood, ma'am."

Right now, I honestly don't care about re-capturing the GUNDAMs, Talia thought. I just want this mission to progress as smoothly as possible and without any more problems or restrictions. Is that too much to ask?
***
Indira's signature cackling erupted in Saburo's ears as he took cover behind some of the Junius Seven rubble. "These guys are so easy!" she cried. "They're not even close to being worthy pilots!"

Somehow, I'm not coming to the same conclusion, Saburo thought.

He checked his radar. All over the radar stuff was moving. It could be Mobile Suits. It could be wreckage. It could be dead bodies. It could be anything.

Saburo tried not to let panic overtake him. But the more he thought about the battle raging all around him, the more rushed his thoughts were, the more fearful he was of dying. And he knew that unless something drastic happened very soon, the more likely he was to die.

He didn't have many allies left. The non-GUNDAM Mobile Suits on his side were universally all patchwork GINNs cobbled together out of spare parts. They weren't reliable or as well-armed as military GINNs. They were little more than cannon fodder even if the pilots were skilled. And that's what they had become. Even the Naturals were having their way with the CLF GINNs.

He leaned out from behind the rubble, trying to get a visual on any more Earth Alliance Mobile Suits entering his position. The Daggers were easy to take out, the Windams not so much. Four of those had given Saburo the scare of his life just a few minutes ago, and he probably would've been killed if his partner GUNDAMs, Abyss and Chaos, hadn't been around to help him.

Suddenly, his censors came to life, and Saburo realized he was being fired upon . . . from above.

There was, of course, no above in space, but from his perspective it certainly seemed that way as four more Windams launched an ambush. Saburo took a blow to the shoulder that shook the whole GUNDAM, and he immediately flew backwards, forced to draw his MA-M941 Beam Sabre to deflect a Windam close-quarters strike.

Damn it. He tried to break the deadlock, but the Windam wouldn't give. In fact, the pilot matched his movements blow for blow. Not even the best Natural pilot would be able to handle this GUNDAM unless the pilot was truly legendary. Which meant . . .

Crap, I'm fighting a Slant. Saburo pulled back, and immediately wished he could let loose with a machine gun. Unfortunately, all he had in his arsenal were single-shot rifles, which were definitely not recommended for close-quarters combat.

Which meant he was forced to take off, and dodge the pursuit by trying to use the rubble as a maze. It seemed to be working at first, for he lost his two closest pursuers that way.

But then another Windam got in his way and let loose a missile barrage, aimed right at his GUNDAM's distinctive head.

Saburo saw an opening above and took off, and zigzagged around the colony, letting the missiles either run out of fuel or crash against rubble and explode.

I can't keep this up forever. These Slants are trained and I'm just a normal Coordinator with a fancy Mobile Suit. The specs on this thing are superior to theirs, as is my blood, but even Mu La Flaga could shoot Coordinators down in the war.

But then the Windams seemed to vanish, and Saburo had a sinking feeling in his stomach. Why would the Windams just give up their pursuit like this? Especially since he was being worn down by them and hadn't inflicted a casualty?

And then he heard why, as Commander Janeane Cruz got on the horn. "Everyone, get away now! They're starting to detonate their Meteor Breakers! Everyone, pull back-"

But then Saburo saw everything becoming fire. Too late, Commander. Too late.

[Antares]

Oh, me likey. The quips about Gundams not being the cracked up aces of the battlefield is sorely needed in CE. Not to mention the short references to their cost. And I really would like to see Yzak down a Gundam with a ZAKU; he and Dearka got so badly sidelined in GSD that any AU story that gives them more room (and proof of their prowess) is more than welcome. The battle was a little confusing but the story still flows well, keep at it!

[rebel_cheese]

Oh, me likey. The quips about Gundams not being the cracked up aces of the battlefield is sorely needed in CE. Not to mention the short references to their cost. And I really would like to see Yzak down a Gundam with a ZAKU; he and Dearka got so badly sidelined in GSD that any AU story that gives them more room (and proof of their prowess) is more than welcome. The battle was a little confusing but the story still flows well, keep at it!

Thanks. One of the goals of this fic was to make the CE era more "grounded" in general. I wanted to make the GUNDAMs a little less powerful, by essentially making it rely more on pilot skill rather on beam spam. While the capabilities of the GUNDAMs still make a sizable difference (the GUNDAMs are downing the Zakus, Astrays, and Windams) they aren't as invincible, as the next chapter will show.

Which will be . . . in a few minutes.

I'm sorry about the space battle being a little confusing, space battles are not my forte as readers of my Sta Wars fanfiction have pointed out. Fighting on land or hand-to-hand seem to win the approval of people, though. I just need to get a little better at showing the perils of space combat, I guess.

[rebel_cheese]

There's a subtle Thundermuffin reference in this chapter. And a Xam'd reference for good measure.
___________________________________________________________________________
Chapter Fourteen: The Shooting Star

And the fifth angel sounded, and I saw a star fall from heaven unto the earth: and to him was given the key to the bottomless pit. And he opened the bottomless pit; and there arose smoke out of the pit, as the smoke of a great furnace; and the sun and the air were darkened by reason of the smoke of the pit. And there came out of the smoke locusts upon the earth: and unto them was given power, as the scorpions of the earth have power.

-Revelation 9:1-2, Holy Bible

"My God," Athrun whispered as he stared at Junius Seven, the place where his mother had died, exploded in half. Many smaller chunks were incinerated.

I hope none of our forces got stuck in there. That looks like hell, Athrun thought. Orb had only been able to get some of their Meteor Breakers deployed, but Athrun knew the job wasn't done yet. It was quite obvious that Junius Seven needed to be broken in several pieces.

Admiral Kisaka seemed to realize that too, as he began issuing orders to the Orb M1s and the Strike Rouge. "Don't return to the base, and don't stay still! Junius Seven has only been partially destroyed! It is still a grave threat to the Earth right now! It needs to be broken into smaller pieces!

"What's the plan, Admiral?" Athrun immediately asked before any of his probably-confused team could muddle the com.

"We're going to move in on the half that's en route to the Americas. We're personally getting involved too, we're going to bombard the wreckage with our cannons. Be careful, we only have a few minutes' deployment left before Earth's gravity takes hold of us."

Don't tell me Admiral Kisaka's seriously considering landing the Kusanagi on Earth. We could wind up in an uncontrollable freefall the same way the Archangel infamously did in the Bloody Valentine War.

But Athrun knew, internally, that Kisaka and Cagalli were going to do whatever they could to prevent Junius Seven from destroying or severely damaging Earth. If they wound up somewhere they shouldn't because of that, well, that was the price that had to be paid. That was something Athrun admired about Cagalli and Kisaka.

Of course, that also meant his time was rapidly running out. Nobody would want to try to enter the atmosphere in a Mobile Suit. Yzak and Dearka definitely didn't want to talk about it after they survived such an event and Athrun had a feeling neither one of them would ever bring it up. M1s were theoretically capable of surviving a descent into the atmosphere but no tests had been done with a live pilot. Athrun didn't want to be that test.

"All right, we're going back in. Just give us a warning when time's up," Athrun said, and he took the Strike Rouge and accelerated it towards what looked to be the western half of the ruin. Surprisingly, he hadn't encountered any GUNDAM units yet despite being their biggest threat. He wondered if he would encounter any now that he was explicitly threatening the CLF's plan . . .
***
Ezalia Joule was angry.

The plan was coming down all around them. She had expected there to be a response team, and she had planned for some of the Meteor Breakers deploying successfully. But she hadn't expected the response team to be this numerous, or as many Meteor Breakers being deployed. She definitely didn't expect the colony to be split in half.

And now, she had a major decision to make. It would be mere minutes before the ship would not be able to escape the Earth's gravitational pull. That was akin to a death sentence no matter what happened to the colony. If everything went according to plan there wouldn't be much of an Earth left. If everything didn't the people on Earth would not rest until every CLF member was dead.

Which meant the ship would have to retreat in plain sight of the response team's battleships. Which was definitely easier said than done.

"Lieutenant," Ezalia said. "I'm going to deploy in the GOUF Ignited. We can't do anything about the half that's falling towards Africa, it's smaller and the response team in that half is universally ZAFT. Get the two GUNDAMs deployed in that area out of there ASAP."

"Understood. What do you want us to do, then?"

"We're going towards the half that's falling towards the Americas. We're going to harass the Naturals until the last second, then break through them. The GUNDAMs will form up there and help us smash through. It's our only shot at making this not a suicide mission."

"I'm on it, ma'am. Opening hangar bay doors. We'll make it out of this. We're up against Naturals and Slants."

If it were only that easy, Lieutenant. Ezalia thought. If it only were that easy.
***
Shinn breathed heavily. He had somehow managed to survive everything so far. He had barely been able to get out of range before the Meteor Breakers detonated, and now, just as he had tried to relax, he had been ordered back into the fray. The few remaining enemy GINNs had been easy, but now they had a pair of GUNDAMs sniping them as the ZAFT tried to set their meteor breakers down.

The commander of this operation was named Yzak Joule. Even though his own mother was the head of the group seemingly behind this attack, Yzak was loyal to the ZAFT, and had been proving it in this battle. Shinn wondered what that was like, to fight against one's own mother just for something he believed in. He wasn't sure if he would be able to do such a thing in Yzak's position. But that's exactly what Yzak Joule was doing and Shinn respected the man for it.

Yzak's instructions had been brief and succinct. "Rey Za Burrel, take two squads and hunt down those GUNDAMs. I'll stay here and protect the demolitions team. The last thing we need is those GUNDAMs picking us off."

Rey had dutifully accepted the job, and now Shinn was flying through the rubble, trying to find one of the two GUNDAMs known to be in the area. It was proving to be more difficult than expected. The two pilots flying those GUNDAMs were skilled at hiding. It was likely the first shot would be fired by a GUNDAM, and it would most likely kill the ZAFT pilot fired upon.

In other words, one of the Zakus in the area was going to be torn apart at any second. And, by pure chance, that could turn out to be Shinn Asuka. The mere thought of him being the GUNDAMs' target made him shiver, and in order to calm himself down, he thought of Mayu.

You're not dying out here, Shinn. You can't. That'll let Mayu down. You're going to live through this. You have to.

Anywhere from all around them, there could be GUNDAMs waiting. Stalking. Trying to create the perfect ambush. Shinn already had a taste of what these machines were capable of. Despite his orders, he truly hoped none were around. He didn't want to fight a GUNDAM again. He had barely survived the last confrontation with one.

And then, suddenly, an alarm went off in his cabin, and he saw one of the GUNDAMs, the one dubbed "Impulse".

Impulse had a pair of anti-ship swords fused together into a double blade, and charged the Zaku directly in front of Shinn. The Zaku didn't stand a chance and was cleaved in half before the pilot could even think about reacting, and Impulse charged even more, heading right for Shinn.

Shinn wasn't going to die the same way, by getting cut open in the cockpit. He drew his beam tomahawk and deflected the blow, but the sheer velocity knocked Shinn backwards.

And continued driving him backwards. Shinn desperately tried to push back but to no avail, and he got slammed into a large piece of wreckage so hard he left a dent in it.

Before he could catch his breath, the Impulse tried to stab him. Shinn deflected it, and suddenly found himself being forced to keep up with blow after blow after blow.

He had to guess where the Impulse would attack next, that's how fast the GUNDAM was. He couldn't even think about counterattacking. The Impulse was just too swift. And the moment he guessed wrong he was going to get carved up like the Zaku in front of him.

I can't die here! Not in this place! Not to a GUNDAM!

And then the Impulse's beam sword flicked out of existence.

Shinn stared, as then the Impulse itself ran out of power and floated, dead in space. He could guess how the pilot was acting right now, frantically trying to force the GUNDAM to move. He almost felt sorry for the pilot . . . until he remembered that the pilot had been trying to kill him.

"Asuka, you all right?" Rey asked.

Shinn almost couldn't answer. "I'm fine, Rey," Shinn said.

Lunamaria whistled. "You're one lucky bastard, Shinn."

I am, aren't I? I would have expected Impulse to have a indefinite energy supply like those Freedom and Justice models from the war, Shinn thought. He didn't want to guess why that was the case, he was just glad it was. If it hadn't, he'd probably have been killed.

"Hawke, Asuka, take Impulse to the Minerva. I'm going to go look for Saviour, that was the other GUNDAM thought to be around here. That's an order!"

"Yes, sir," Shinn said, and awkwardly got his arm into position around the Impulse. Curiously, the pilot wasn't trying to get out. He wondered if the cockpit was in lockdown or something, or if the pilot just simply didn't know how to get out. Or, a dark part of him said, the pilot may have committed suicide.

Whatever the case, it meant he was out of the battle. He was going to survive this. And that was a relief to Shinn, until he realized that Stellar was still out here somewhere.

And now a whole different set of worries gripped him as he proceeded back to the Minerva.
***
"What do you mean you're out of power, Commander Cruz?" Ezalia shouted angrily.

"I barely have enough left for communications. Impulse is out of power too, and they've taken that machine prisoner. It's only a matter of time before I'm found like this."

Ezalia slammed her fist against the cockpit wall, and tried a relaxation technique, only for it to fail.

"Isn't there anything you can do?"

"It's not like I can exactly leave. The ZAFT has no opposition now. They'll be able to completely break this section of the meteor. And if that doesn't kill me, I'll be unable to escape Earth's gravity and I'll burn up. Basically, all I can do is to be taken prisoner. Or commit suicide."

Ezalia sighed bitterly. "Do what you think is right, Commander. You served us well. We'll try to get you as soon as possible."

"Thank you, ma'am. It's been an honor."

Ezalia severed the communications then, and tried to fathom what that meant. She had lost two GUNDAM machines that had cost a high amount of casualties to capture . . . for nothing. Their sacrifices had achieved nothing.

But there was still a chance to cause some damage. There was still one half that the response team hadn't been able to break. The one falling towards the Americas. There was still a chance for the CLF to make a statement, at least.

But, now as she thought about it, the fact that Saviour and Impulse had run out of power meant that the other three machines were running low, too. If they weren't out already.

She accessed the GUNDAMs' channel and began speaking. "Gaia, Abyss, and Chaos. Fall back to base immediately. Savior and Impulse ran out of power. Get back here before you do as well. I doubt the Naturals will be as lenient as our fellow Coordinators."

The pilot of the Gaia was the only one who responded. "Chaos has already run out of power and has been taken prisoner by one of their Windam units. I'm still here, and I think Indira is still here but I can't get in touch with her, I think she's completely lost it."

So, the fusion idea didn't hold out for very long, Ezalia thought, disappointed. It was worth a shot, Ilia. I'm sorry.

"Find the Abyss and get it back here, Gaia. I'll run interference in the GOUF Ignited. We're leaving the area. I don't think the Naturals will get enough breakers deployed to destroy Junius Seven completely in time. We're reaching our limit in a matter of minutes. None of us want to end up in the atmosphere."

"I'll do my best, ma'am." And then Gaia fell silent, too.

This is turning into such a disaster. What made me think I could do this? What did I miss? What did I overlook? What intangible made this plan fail?

It was a lot of little things, she knew. She hadn't messed up on anything major but it was a combination of minor things. The inability for any Zakus and GINNs to escape Hawking Base, Indira's insubordination and lack of control, underestimating the size of the response team . . . just little things.

But if she found a way to escape now, the CLF would live to fight another day. And at this point, that was all that mattered.

"Lieutenant, take aim at the Orb ship. We'll blast our way through them. I'm going to protect this half as much as I can and catch up before I reach my limit."

"Got it, ma'am. Preparing to break through."

If I can shoot the Meteor Breakers, their electronics will be fried and hopefully there won't be any detonations. It's a desperate shot but it's our only chance to see any success out of this operation.

Ezalia set course, and got to work on her self-assigned mission.
***
Stellar was in trouble. They were down Auel, although that was because he was bringing Chaos back to the Leighton Abrams. And now, the remaining three members of the team were up against the final two GUNDAMs in the CLF's arsenal.

Don't panic, Stellar. You can't panic. They're running out of energy. All we need to do is outlast them.

It didn't help that the pilot of the Abyss had hacked into their communications and was using the opportunity to be completely psychotic.

"Come on, you Naturals? What's the matter? Scared of a superior being?"

"I'm not afraid," shouted Badaglio and he collided with the Abyss.

"SIR!" Stellar cried, and she accelerated towards the deadlock, only to find the other GUNDAM, the Gaia, in her way.

The two Mobile Suits began trading blows against each other. Stellar grunted as she received a scratch on her right shoulder. Come on, Sting. Where are you? I need some help!

Badaglio continued shouting at the Abyss' pilot. "I don't care how superior your machine is or your genetics! Today, everyone fighting you people is beyond that! And we're going to prove it to you, you bigoted monster!"

The Abyss' pilot didn't take that well. "You dare to lecture me, Natural?"

"Yes, I do. Because you know nothing about the way the world works. Your time is over. Today, the world is united against you!"

"Oh, shut up and explode."

And then the Abyss stabbed Badaglio's Windam right in the chest. Stellar could only stare as she heard her commander scream in agony before the Windam erupted into violet smoke.

"Commander!" she screamed. Suddenly, the anger she had experienced yesterday began to assert itself. Her heart began pounding so ferociously she thought it was going to implode. She felt a wave of strength and rage that made her so powerful, so immense compared to even the Coordinators.

But the other GUNDAM, "Gaia", was still fighting her.

"GET OUT OF MY WAY!" Stellar shrieked and she sliced off the right arm of the Gaia and then charged the Abyss without hesitation.

"Oh, I remember you! You're the Slant cutie's girl-"

Stellar cut off the Abyss pilot's words with a decapitation strike. However, she wasn't able to cut anything else.

"Oh, I made you mad, Slant. What are you going to do about it?"

"I'LL DESTROY YOU!" Stellar screamed.

"Such a left-brained personality. What's next? 'Windam smash, Windam bash', Slant?"

"My name . . . is STELLAR!"

The Abyss blocked her next attempt at destruction, and she heard the Abyss pilot cackling away.

"Stop screaming at me and hit me," the Abyss pilot said.

And then the Abyss ran out of power.

The Abyss pilot promptly began shouting out a stream of curses as Stellar saw her chance to put an end to this psychotic bitch[/] that had only caused her pain, her boyfriend's pain, the death of her commander.

She raised her Windam's beam sabre. "You're dead!"

But as she tried to stab the Abyss another Windam reached its arm out and grabbed her Windam's sabre hand.

"Stellar, stop it! Calm down! Remember our orders!"

That was Sting's voice. And then Stellar realized what she had been doing.

"I'm . . . sorry, Sting. But she . . . she killed our commander."

"And I want to kill her too. But right now, our orders are to take them alive. Gaia's already disabled. One of the other Windams are going to retrieve the arm you cut off. We're done here, Stellar."

That was Sting, knowing how to calm her down. "I lost myself again, Sting. I can't-"

"It can wait until we're back inside the Abrams. Come on, let's go."

Stellar stared at the Abyss, and sighed. "You want to take the Abyss or should I?"

"I'll take the Abyss. Flagship's orders. You're taking the body of the Gaia back to base with you."

"Got it, Sting."

Tears ran down her face as she flew away from the Abyss.

There is no justice in this world, is there? Why did my commander have to die and why is a complete monster able to live? Why?
***
Yzak Joule was tired. His team had managed to wipe out the half of Junius Seven heading towards Asia. But the one heading towards the Americas was still standing. And it didn't take Yzak very long to find out why.

"This is Team Seven! We're under attack by a CLF Mobile Suit! We can't defend the Break-AAGH!"

Even though we've prevented worldwide destruction, if this half of Junius Seven is allowed to fall billions of people are still going to get killed. I can't tolerate that.

He was aware that the edges of the the wreckage were beginning to glow bright yellow and red as they were beginning to heat up. Everything in the area was beginning to enter the atmosphere. Their time was almost up.

"Dearka, I'm going to handle the CLF Mobile Suit," Yzak said. "You protect the remaining teams and make sure as many charges as possible go off."

"What about you?" Dearka asked.

"I'm going to buy you guys time. I'll leave before my time's up. I know we only have a couple minutes left."

"Right. We don't want to enter the atmosphere, Yzak. The Zakus are tough but we can't guarantee survival in these."

"Let me worry about that. You make sure those remaining breakers detonate, dammit."

Yzak then took off, heading right for the CLF Mobile Suit. I don't have a lot of energy left, he thought. I have to make this fast anyway. I can hold up for five more minutes of fighting but that's it.

He was out of ammunition for his Beam Assault Rifle, but he did have missiles and a fully-charged Beam Tomahawk. He charged the CLF Mobile Suit, which appeared to be a highly advanced version of the Zaku Warrior, the GOUF Ignited.

It would be tough to fight this one. The GOUF Ignited was built for close-range combat. And, unfortunately, Yzak had no choice but to fight the GOUF Ignited in that manner. But if he didn't, more Breakers would be destroyed and more damage would be done to the Earth.

Athrun, Kira, Dearka, all of you . . . all of you fought to defend the Earth during the war. I was fighting to wipe it out. Now I'm going to do what you guys did. I will protect this world!

And then Yzak charged, firing a spray of Firebee missiles and he drew his Tomahawk.

"Take this, bastard!" Yzak shouted in the heat of the moment.

The GOUF Ignited noticed the missile spray at the last second and moved to dodge the missiles. One of the six-missile spray exploded close by anyway, and knocked the Mobile Suit off-balance, making it perfect prey for Yzak's charge.

But it was not to be.

The GOUF Ignited drew its Tempest Beam Sword, which was a gigantic sword styled after ancient medieval European swords. And all Yzak was able to connect with was that sword. Yzak growled angrily and moved to break the deadlock, but the Ignited held its ground.

Yzak then moved to communicate with the Ignited. Already, it was starting to get hot in the cockpit. He was fast running out of time. He had already bought thirty seconds with his charge. And he knew he had a minute or two at the most before he would be unable to break free of the atmosphere. And who knew what would happen to him then?

"Listen, pilot of the GOUF Ignited. Surrender now. There's no hope of victory here. Junius Seven is being destroyed. All of the GUNDAMs you hijacked are out of action. The Earth Alliance and the Orb are in the process of destroying your cruiser. Your forces are in shambles. And if you don't fall back you'll be incinerated. Do the sane thing and surrender to me."

Pause. And then the last voice Yzak wanted to hear replied to him.

"Takes nerve to give orders to your mother, doesn't it, Yzak?"

[rebel_cheese]

Well, this is it. This is the last chapter that follows, however loosely, the Gundam SEED Destiny storyline. Everything from this point forward (other than homages and nods) is my story.

__________________________________________________________________________

Chapter Fifteen: What it is to Burn

Now comes the evening of the mind.
Here are the fireflies twitching in the blood.
Donald Justice, The Evening of the Mind

"M-Mom?" Yzak finally blurted out.

"Yes, Yzak. Get over your shock now."

"I . . . I didn't want it to be you, Mom. I just didn't."

"Well, it is me. Now, listen to me, Yzak. You don't want to kill your own mother, right?"

"No, Mom."

"Then help me get out of this mess. I don't care how. Help me destroy those detonators and we'll get out of here. The CLF has been decimated but that leaves plenty of room for new blood. Help me, Yzak. Help your mother."

Yzak couldn't believe what he was hearing. "Mom, are you crazy? Our time's running out! We're going to enter the atmosphere unless we leave now!"

"Yes or no, Yzak." His mother's voice was steely, firm. Dead set on what she was doing.

And Yzak knew the answer. "No, Mom."

"Then get out of my way." And then came the GOUF Ignited, sword glowing brightly, coming straight for Yzak's head.

"I won't!" Yzak raised his Tomahawk and blocked the blow. "I can't let you kill so many people, Mom!"

"You would kill your own mother." Ezalia Joule sounded shocked. "I thought I raised a better son than that!"

"I'm going to stop you! And then we're getting out of here. It's over, Mom!"

They traded blows back and forth with the backdrop of a plummeting, starting to burn Junius Seven behind them. Neither Mobile Suit was giving an inch. It was a straight up duel between the two, no interference, and with the time limit of the Earth's atmosphere.

"It's not over! This is the path for all true Coordinators, Yzak!"

"I can't believe you're saying stuff like that, Mom!"

"You used to believe the same thing!"

"I know better now! And once we're out of here we're going to see what prison did to your head!"

"Re-educate me, Yzak? You would really do that to me? What kind of vicious son have I raised?"

"I'm only doing what's right for the Earth!"

"But you're not doing what's right for your people, Yzak."

"Shut up, Mom!"

"Temper, Yzak, temper."

Yzak finally discovered an opening in the GOUF Ignited's defenses. He surged forward, screaming at the top of his lungs, and did a uppercut slash on the Ignited's right arm, severing it perfectly in the shoulder area.

Sparks flew from the arm and it exploded, and Yzak could hear his mother cry out as the velocity from the explosion knocked her closer to Earth.

Too close to Earth, Yzak realized to his horror. Already, the Ignited was glowing bright red from entry into the Earth's atmosphere. And considering the damage he had administered to it . . .

I've just killed my own mother.
***
Cagalli winced as she looked at the enemy CLF ship the Kusanagi had been firing upon for the last five minutes. It looked more like glorified wreckage now than a battle cruiser. The Kusanagi seemed to have an edge on the enemy vessel, and with help from the Earth Alliance they had been doing an increasingly heavy amount of damage.

"Admiral Kisaka. Do you think we should send a surrender offer to them?" she asked.

"It might be prudent. I'll see if I can make contact with them."

But before Kisaka could do so, a young woman's face appeared on the communications monitors. To Cagalli's surprise, the woman didn't look much older than Cagalli's, and Cagalli felt sickened as she eyed the blood streaming down the woman's forehead.

Sparks were flying in the background, and Cagalli could see a dead body floating behind the woman. But before she could focus more on the gruesome imagery, the young woman began to speak.

"You think you've won it all, Naturals? You're dead wrong. Your mistreatment of our kind will never be forgotten. You may install puppets like Chairman Durandal, you may outgun us, but you'll never beat us. We're inherently superior to your kind in every way. Soon, the tide will turn, Naturals. It will turn, and you will have your reckoning."

What does she mean by that? Cagalli thought, but the horrific answer came to her a moment later.

She turned to Kisaka. "She's going to blow herself up, Kisaka! Get everyone out of-"

But she saw a bright flash out of the corner of her eye, and she knew she was too late. The ZAFT cruiser vanished in a bright ball of fire and light, and Cagalli stared at it, mesmerized by the sight.

"Oh no . . ." she softly gasped.

"They were fanatics," Kisaka growled. "Why did they have to do this? They could've surrendered."

"I guess it was embarrassing to be taken prisoner by Naturals," Cagalli said bitterly. She looked away from the ball of fire and turned back to Kisaka.

"Look . . . we need to worry about that half of Junius Seven hitting Earth. We have to blow it up. Even if we have to bombard it with our cannons."

"I understand, Cagalli. We're going to move forward."

Cagalli sighed, and shook her head as she looked at the dying flames of what remained of the CLF ship. To think that Athrun was going to go out this way . . . is this the way fanatics die? Or people with no hope? Or people who just want to take the easy way out and die?

I hope I'll never find out that answer.
***
"Mom!" Yzak yelled out as he stared at the plummeting GOUF Ignited below him. He wanted to do something, anything. But there was no way to reach his mother. Not without him getting pulled in permanently too.

"Yzak," Ezalia Joule said softly. "I'll see you soon enough. Live out your life, however brief it is. I hope you've made the right decision. I truly do."

And then the GOUF was enveloped in a brief flash of fire before vanishing from existence.

Mom . . .

Yzak spent an incalculable amount of time staring where his mother had been just moments before. Mom . . . I didn't mean to kill you. Why . . . why did you make me do it? Why?

Before he could think about anything else, he heard Dearka's panicked voice. "Yzak, what are you doing? Get out of there now or you're not going to be able to escape!"

A switch flipped on in Yzak then, and he realized in horror he had reached his own limit. If he didn't leave right this second . . . he accelerated as fast as he could, pouring on the engines.

I have to make it out of here! I can't die here! I'm not going to burn up like Mom did! I can't!

And just as he reached Junius Seven, he came to an uncomfortable realization as he realized his Zaku had stopped accelerating ten seconds ago.

I'm out of power.

He was barely able to coax his Mobile Suit to land next to a Meteor Breaker. All around them, the breakers were going off, shattering the Junius Seven memorial into smaller and smaller pieces. Except this one.

It was getting unbearably hot inside the cockpit. Even with his cooling system running full blast Yzak was still sweating bullets as he forced his out-of-power Zaku to crawl next to the Meteor Breaker. Hopefully, it would go off and kill him in an instant. He wasn't going to die like his mother. He wasn't going to burn up. He couldn't burn up.

But the Meteor Breaker never exploded. It was a dud. It continued to fly off somewhere towards the Earth, as the piece flew off during the massive explosions caused by the Meteor Breakers.

"Yzak!" Dearka screamed. "What are you doing? Get out of there!"

"I'm out of power, Dearka," Yzak said.

"What? I'm coming, Yzak! Just hold on-"

"Don't bother. I'm pretty sure I've already passed my limit."

There was a long pause. Then, to his horror, he heard Shiho's voice wail for him.

"Yzak, no! Don't talk like that! We'll come for you! There's gotta be a way we can save you!"

But Yzak had a feeling there wasn't. He could see, in the distance, the Earth Alliance and Orb ships entering the atmosphere, firing their cannons to destroy sizable elements of the Junius Seven colony. But the piece he was clinging to was too far away. Plus, for them to make such a manuever, it would expose vulnerable parts of their ships to the Earth's atmosphere. And that could incinerate either one of them before they could reach him.

No, there was only one thing he could do.

"Dearka," Yzak said. "Where is this fragment heading? The one I'm attached to?"

Dearka's voice was resigned and empty. "I dunno . . . looks like Mexico City."

"I'm going to detonate the Meteor Breaker manually. It's suicide, I know, but it's better than burning up . . . or letting this thing fall on a big city."

"Yzak, no!" Shiho screamed.

"Stay away from here!" Yzak warned. "Stay away! Don't come near me, you can't save me! Dearka, take care of Shiho, all right? Take care of her!"

"Yzak, I-" Static.

He had lost radio communications. He probably didn't have a lot of time left. Already, the suppressive heat was giving him a massive headache as he forced his way to the Meteor Breaker and opened up the control panel.

He forced himself to breathe as he entered the manual self-destruct code. This is the only way. I have to do this. To save that city!

He could see the console beginning to melt in front of him, along with his Zaku's hands. He had mere seconds left . . .

He pounded the big red button to commence the destruction.

His world vanished in white a mere second later, and Yzak went out with a smile.

I did it . . . I saved those people . . .

A second after Yzak left reality to see the unknowable, the Zaku was vaporized by the Meteor Breaker's explosion, and the wreckage he had clinged to slowly broke down into tiny, nearly insignificant pieces before landing in Mexico City in the form of blackened little shards and balls.
***
Saburo had no idea how well the mission had gone. All he knew was that he was a prisoner of the Naturals. And he was now hanging somewhere in a Earth Alliance hangar, and he could hear the faint sounds of buzzsaws as Earth Alliance crew tried to break into his cockpit.

I screwed up . . . I'm going to be their prisoner. They're probably going to execute me. I'm just a terrorist to them. That's all I am to these people. A racist terrorist.

He stared at where the sparks were flying. The larger the gap became, the more the abrasive sounds of that godforsaken buzzsaw were getting louder. He wanted to cover his ears, but decided he wanted to be taken prisoner with some dignity. That was the least he could ask for, couldn't it? Just a little bit of dignity before being shuffled off to some prison camp to await his inevitable execution?

He sighed as the buzzsaw stopped and the canopy was forced open. He raised his hands.

"I surrender," Saburo said plainly.

There was a brief pause. Then the voice of one of those Naturals said "Too bad. It's not accepted."

What?

Saburo had barely the time to see a Earth Alliance soldier aiming a pistol right at his head before a a tiny flash and a spinning lead bullet erased him from existence.
***
Indira heard the gunshot in the distance, and she knew full well what that meant.

They're not taking prisoners, are they? Well, then, I'm not going down without a fight.

She carefully placed her machine-gun in an area where anyone looking through the widening gap wouldn't see it immediately. Hopefully by that point she'd be able to shoot first and take down as many people as possible before being shot up.

You Natural pricks aren't getting me. Not without a fight. I'm going to shoot every single one of you bastards before I run out of ammo. You got that? You guys don't even know what's about to hit you!

The canopy opened, and a male face leered inside. He looked at Indira and a disappointed frown crossed his face. "Oh come on, it's a hot chick! Do we really need to-"

"Let me have a look."

A different, considerable more handsome male face leaned in a moment later. Then the face vanished.

"Oh man, she is hot."

"We can't just kill her, can we? Come on, let's just take her prisoner. The captain's male. He'll understand."

A female voice let out an "ugh" growl. "Fine, I'll take care of her myself."

Indira readied the machine-gun, and the moment the female face peeked through she opened fire.

She immediately leaned out at the edge of the buzzsaweed cockpit, and let loose a torrent of machine-gun fire into as many bodies as possible before she ran out of ammunition. Now under intense fire, she drew her pistol and returned fire with that too. But as she fired her final bullet, she saw someone in a soldier's uniform rushing her, a determined look on her face.

Indira drew her knife, but before she could raise it to defend herself the female Earth soldier already had her rifle in firing position. Before Indira could do anything a single gunshot put an end to her rampage a mere twenty seconds after it had started. And, at long last, the conflict between the Ilia and Indira personalities came to a sudden end.
***
"Malik, take us in closer. We need to blast the remaining significant shards ourselves," Talia Gladys ordered.

"Yes, ma'am." Malik Yardbirds said and began piloting the Minerva closer to what little remained of the Junius Seven colony.

It's a real shame, Talia thought. The memorial laid there was supposed to stand forever as a testament to what we lost, and also for the hope of a permanent peace. But now all of that's been lost. In that sense, the terrorists did win, even though we stopped the colony from doing major damage to the Earth.

"We're going to get pulled into the Earth's gravitational pull at this rate, Captain," Chairman Durandal said.

"I know, Chairman," Talia said. "Right now, the other ZAFT ship here is getting pulled towards Orb space. It's been agreed that's the best place for us to regroup. Orb's about as neutral as you can get at Earth. I'm sure we'll be able to use their rebuilt Mass Driver to launch back up into space soon anyhow."

"I understand, Captain. Just making sure you know what you're doing. I trust your judgement on this."

"It's not only that. The few remaining significant shards are heading towards Orb territory anyway. With Yzak Joule's sacrifice there is no longer a major threat to the Americas. Sure, there'll be some trash slamming into the ground, but we won't have deaths on a country-wide scale," Talia said.

"That's all that matters at this point, Captain. You and everyone here have done well. My sincerest congratulations to all of you."

Talia decided to ignore the flattery. "Please fasten your seatbelt, Chairman. Entering the atmosphere is still a bumpy ride."

"Of course, Captain."
***
Athrun struggled to breathe as he sat in his Strike Rouge. Somehow, he had made it out of that conflagration alive. Four of his pilots hadn't, but everyone else had. It had helped they hadn't encountered any GUNDAMs directly like Cagalli and Kisaka had feared. It made Athrun wonder why the precaution was even made.

But something was unnerving him as he tried to rest in his cockpit as the Kusanagi entered the atmosphere. It was that the Earth Aliance apparently had chosen to capture the GUNDAMs instead of destroying them.

He wondered who gave the order to do that. The person who did that may have committed a colossal mistake. The ZAFT would want their GUNDAMs back immediately the moment they found out the EA had them, and Athrun doubted the EA would give those GUNDAMs back until every bit of information could be gleaned from them. The sparks of another diplomatic incident were beginning here.

In fact, those GUNDAMs could plant the seed of another war.

Athrun hoped the rumors he had been hearing were wrong. If they weren't, there was a very good chance another war would begin soon. A war over those five GUNDAMs.

The world was just three years removed from the end of the Bloody Valentine War. Would the world really want to have another war so soon? Especially over five pieces of advanced machinery?

Athrun could only wonder. He remained immersed in thought the whole way down, hoping against hope that the victory the allied force had today would not be spoiled by those accursed GUNDAM machines . . .
***
I have three of them, Naomi Mitsuda thought. I have three of the new ZAFT GUNDAMs. All of their secrets are mine. They now belong to the EA.

She smiled softly. With these three weapons we have an advantage against you, ZAFT. Consider this payment for helping you solve your little CLF problem.

She sighed then. This is my challenge to you, Gilbert Durandal. Let's see how peaceful you really are. It's about time the Earth Alliance gave you something to be stressful over. Do you really mean what you say when you speech about being peaceful and anti-war? Or are those mere words to you to win favor among the ZAFT people tired of war?

She knew that she would win favor among her people in the Earth Alliance. She had scored major political and military points over the ZAFT by doing this. She would soon have intricate knowledge of the new advancements being put forth by the ZAFT thanks to the Orb engineers. And, some way, she'd find a way to put these to her advantage.

But, first and foremost, this was a test of Gilbert Durandal. That whole trip, he had been doing nothing but making her jump through hoops. And she had been able to stomach that only by sheer will.

Now that Durandal had diplomatic hoops to jump through, Naomi Mitsuda could only wonder what Durandal would do from here. Was he committed towards peace and understanding? Or was he going to incite a blood feud?

Naomi Mitsuda knew she'd have her answer in a matter of days. She would just need to patient until then.

And patience was something she had in plenty.

[Antares]

Whoa you really churn out these things. I am envious of your pace. I'll read this stuff and then get to you again when you've started to strike out in your own "uncharted territoy" of CE.

[rebel_cheese]

Whoa you really churn out these things. I am envious of your pace. I'll read this stuff and then get to you again when you've started to strike out in your own "uncharted territoy" of CE.

Don't be envious. I've managed to write eight chapters a year and there's a long way to go before we reach the end. I'm glad you're still reading, though.

Major WTF moment in the beginning. Yes, there's a reason why.

___________________________________________________________________________

Chapter Sixteen: Welcome Home

Raging waves of the sea, foaming out their own shame; wandering stars, to whom is reserved the blackness of darkness forever.
Jude 1:13, Holy Bible

"Hi."

"It's you again!"

"Why are you afraid of me?"

"Because you're telling me everyone's going to die and that there's a traitor by me!"

"I'm sorry."

"What are you?"

"I'm just someone worried about my brother."

"Why can't you talk to him? Why are you appearing before me?"

"I talk to him all the time, in his dreams. He usually doesn't remember."

"But why me?"

"Because you always remember."

"Remember what?"

"Your dreams. Your nightmares. Your friends. Your losses. All the people who sacrificed for you, and everyone you've sacrificed for."

"Stay away from me, you-"

"You don't even know my name, do you?"

Pause.

"Do you know my name, girl?"

"You're Kira Yamato. Hero of the Bloody Valentine War, with a repressed Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder that became so strong it began tearing you apart after the war was over."

"What are you? Who are you?"

"You can call me Mayu. I am my brother's angel."

"What kind of angel?"

"Whatever kind of angel he needs me to be. An angel of hope and healing . . . or death and destruction."

And then he saw. And then he screamed.
***
"AAAAAAARRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHH!"

Kira's environment had changed, from a realm of perpetual blackness to his bedroom ceiling, but he could almost see the bleeding girl, with her crushed midsection, blood continously spilling from it.

"KIRA! Kira, what's wrong?"

Lacus was already there, in front of him. She had climbed into the bed. Her eyes were panicked and alarmed, and on the verge of tears.

Kira could barely speak. "B-B-Blood everyw-w-w-where," he managed to stammer out.

"It's okay, it's okay!"

Lacus embraced him and held his violently shaking body with all of her strength. "It's okay, it's okay, it's okay," she said over and over, as she gripped him tighter and tighter, like Kira would fall away forever if she let go.

Kira couldn't get the girl out of his mind. No matter how comforting Lacus became. He saw the blood beginning to spill out of the girl's mouth, the shattered abdomen, the dark circles around her dead eyes. The girl was no angel. It was a poltergeist, a demon, a monster, whatever she was. Whatever this Mayu was, she was only there to haunt him, to scare him. She was something he had to be conjuring, like Lacus had said.

He realized how desperately tight Lacus was holding him, and by the tone of her voice she sounded just as shaken as he was. In fact, she was more shaken than even him, in a different way.

She's crying for me, Kira thought as he stared into Lacus' mussed pink hair. He managed to wrap his trembling arms around her and held her just as tight.

He was surprised at how firm and strong she felt. Almost athletic. It seemed like only yesterday when Lacus was a thin, almost-frail pop princess. When had that changed? He couldn't remember.

And he knew why she had changed. Why she had become stronger. Because I can't.

She had transformed herself for him.

And that hurt him even more than seeing the girl with blood pouring from her crushed stomach. Because he was weak. Because he was succumbing to nightmares, whether old ones that had been haunting him for years or new ones revealing themselves now. How long before she couldn't get any stronger, before she reached her limit? How long would it be before she gave up on him?

I have to fight this. I need to get stronger. Before I break Lacus.

He held her even tighter, and didn't let go. I won't lose you, Lacus. If you leave, I . . . I don't know how long I would last.

It took him a while to realize Lacus, completely exhausted, had fallen asleep in his arms. Kira sighed as he realized that the soft words she was mumbling to him was in her sleep. Even when she was so exhausted that she could no longer stay awake, he came first and foremost to her.

I don't deserve you, Lacus.

He kissed her softly on the cheek, and the loop of comforting words ceased as she sighed and fell silent. He smiled slightly to himself as he raked his hands through her long hair.

I love you. And I'll get stronger for you. I'll fight these nightmares, Lacus. I'll stay away from the girl. I won't think of myself as a monster. I'll do everything I can. Just stay by me. Please.

He leaned back into bed, still holding Lacus close to him. Everything will be better soon. I swear it.
***
Athrun saw Cagalli as he stepped out of the Strike Rogue cockpit, and he couldn't help but smile. Even with so much beginning to happen, she still managed to be resolute, in control. That was something he admired about her. Cagalli probably wasn't here to see him, so his cover wasn't blown, but Athrun wasn't sure how much that mattered. Both the top heads of state for the Earth Alliance and the ZAFT knew who he was, now. And inevitably, the news would leak that Alex Dino was in fact Athrun Zala.

Athrun wondered what would happen from there. How would people react? To a lot of ZAFT citizens Athrun was little better than a traitor. The Orb were primarily Naturals, and they would be in an uproar over Cagalli being engaged to a Coordinator. Yes, Cagalli would try to appeal for calm and tolerance, but she wasn't the leader of the country yet. The Sierans were, and they were skilled at playing politics.

There wasn't much he could do for now. He simply had to sit back and wait for the inevitable.

Cagalli was shaking hands with the surviving Orb pilots, thanking them for their deeds today. She seemed to be smiling brightly, but at this distance Athrun couldn't tell whether it was forced or not. Athrun had managed to bring most of the pilots back to the ship, so she was glad about that, but there was casualties, even though the Orb forces had never encountered a GUNDAM.

He climbed out of the Strike Rogue and walked towards Cagalli. He had so many things he wanted to say to her right now, but he knew they would have to wait. Before they were in private.

Cagalli spotted him and turned to him, and her smile changed to something honestly grateful and happy. "Commander Dino," she said, "Thank you so much."

"You're welcome, Princess." It had taken Athrun everything he had to not call her "Cagalli".

"Please come with me, Commander Dino. I want to be debriefed on what happened out there."

She led him down the hangar as briskly as she could without drawing too many suspicious glances. Athrun could sense the bubbling emotions in her, and he nearly choked on his own. Somehow, they had managed to accomplish a great thing. Granted, this meant that the Kusanagi had landed on Earth, and was floating over the Pacific Ocean, but they had prevented the destruction of the Earth. Again.

I hope that's the last time people try to destroy the Earth. Saving it a second time, so soon after Jachin Doe, is too much.

Cagalli found the door to dressing room, and after letting Athrun walk inside, she shut the door herself.

Athrun tried to speak. "Listen, Cagalli-"

She spun him around and kissed him passionately. The kiss was held for several seconds before Cagalli separated herself, and then she locked Athrun in a tight embrace.

"Thank you," she whispered. "You brought nearly all of them home, Athrun. You brought nearly all of them home and helped save the Earth again. Thank you."

Athrun sensed tears in the final words and held her tight. "I did my best," he said softly.

"Thank you," she whispered again.

They remained locked together in the tight embrace for several minutes, hours, maybe even days. It didn't much matter, for when they had separated, the Kusanagi was already approaching the Orb capital, and it would be time to meet the Sierans.

Which was something Athrun wasn't looking forward to at all.
***
Shinn had stayed locked in his room the whole time, hugging Mayu's bear with a grip strong enough enough to break bones. The burned, blackened bear didn't break, though. As long as this final enduring remnant of Mayu didn't break, he wouldn't. He couldn't. He couldn't break down yet.

What he had faced after entering the Minerva's hangar had been horrifying. Not very long after delivering the Impulse to the Minerva was the pilot dragged out of the cockpit and shot like a dog. Why? Why did they need to kill the pilot? Wasn't the pilot a prisoner? What made it so right to shoot a prisoner? Why?

Why, why, why?

Shinn knew he couldn't stay here any longer. If he did he would lose it. He truly didn't belong here. He didn't have any real friends here. Sure, Vino and Yolant liked to joke around with him but they weren't close. Lunamaria seemed to make it her purpose in life to make him miserable. And Rey . . . there was no way to tell. Rey za Burrel had been treating him differently since what happened to Lunamaria a short time ago, and Shinn had a feeling that Rey somehow knew about his plans to defect.

The thought of what might happen to him terrified him to the core. The ZAFT had no problems with executing deserters and traitors. The death penalty was still awaiting Athrun Zala when he was caught, regardless of his action to protect the world as part of the Three Ships Alliance.

If Athrun Zala would die upon being discovered on ZAFT territory, there would be no mercy for Shinn Asuka if he was caught.

Suddenly there was a knock on his door. Shinn jumped and audibly gasped. He gripped the bear tighter and tighter, praying it wasn't some military policeman coming to get him. He didn't want to die yet! He didn't want to die. If he died, Stellar would be heartbroken. But he would also get angry. The sight of what had happened to his old Zaku back in the PLANT haunted him. There would be nothing holding Stellar back from attempting to wipe out every single ZAFT person on this ship if he died.

"Shinn?" It was the voice of Meyrin Hawke. She was the liaison between the Minerva and the Mobile Suit pilots.


Shinn calmed down. Meyrin didn't seem to want to be his enemy, at least. She didn't treat him like a lesser individual the same way most Coordinators did. Of all the people to come to turn him in, Meyrin would be the least likely of them all.

He set Mayu's bear down an dwalked towards the door. He tried to make himself more presentable, wiping his eyes and taking deep breaths to calm down. But he knew he wouldn't fool Meyrin. The moment she saw him, she would . . .

He opened the door, and Meyrin's eyes seemed to widen, just a little bit.

"Wow," she said. "You look like a wreck."

"It's all right. I'm fine."

Meyrin smiled softly. "You could always go to the captain if you need to cry. She's very comforting and firm. Always makes you feel better after a while."

"I said I'm fine. I don't need anyone's pity."

"I'm not pitying you."

Shinn stared.

"Look," Meyrin said. "I think you just need to get outside. The captain's allowing us to leave the ship for a while and walk around the capital and suburbs. Didn't you say you used to live here?"

"I did. I was born here, but not on this particular island."

"That's good enough," Meyrin chuckled. "I know nothing about Orb. I wouldn't mind you giving me a tour around, even if we get lost."

"I really don't want to walk around outside-"

"Oh come on, Shinn!" She pulled him out of the room. "Right now, we're heroes! We stopped the end of the world! That isn't going to last forever. We should enjoy ourselves, even if it's just for a little while."

Shinn saw there was no way she would be dissuaded. So he decided to delay it for as long as possible. He didn't want to venture outside, not here of all places,. He just wanted to be in his room. But, if he was going to be dragged around the city by Meyrin, maybe he could make arrangements for a meeting with a certain someone.

"All right, I'll go. But let me make a phone call. Is that all right?"

"Yeah, that's fine with me!" She laughed.

But then she looked melancholy. "It's that Earth pilot, isn't it?"

Shinn gulped.

She sighed. "It's all right. Just never figured you for the athletic type, that's all."

She turned and left.

Damn it, Shinn. Now you've hurt her feelings now, too! It's already bad enough that . . . that . . .

He shook the thoughts out of his head.

Right now, there's no choice. I have to get out of here. Rey probably knows what I'm doing. If I don't get out of here now I'm gonna die!

He ran to the videophone, and made his call.
***
"Cagalli! Cagalli, I'm so glad you're safe!"

Athrun knew who the identity of that voice without even thinking about it. Yuna.

Yuna was a tall man in his early twenties who had a habit of dying his hair violet. He was charismatic, stylish, effeminate . . . and, in Athrun's opinion, a complete idiot.

Yuna smothered the shorter Cagalli in a bear hug that almost made Athrun punch the guy's lights out by instinct. But he managed to restrain himself. Barely. These people were going to be his family-in-law soon whether he liked it or not. It would not go over well if the first thing Athrun did after surviving the Junius Seven near-disaster was punch Yuna.

But Athrun found out he had hit Yuna hard anyway without lifting a finger. Yuna had a puzzled look on his face, and he said "Cagalli, there's something odd about your hand . . ."

Before Cagalli or Athrun could stop him, he inspected Cagalli's hand, and saw the ring. He stared at it for several long seconds, his eyes slowly widening until Athrun thought Yuna's eyes would pop out of his sockets.

"Who . . . who gave you this?" Yuna finally spat out, still dumbstruck.

"Wouldn't you like to know, Yuna," Cagalli said, her voice viciously teasing.

"I demand to know. Who are you seeing, Cagalli? Who proposed to you? Who?"

Mercifully, Yuna's father, the Orb Prime Minister, Unato Ema Seiran, finally showed up. He was a balding man in his fifties, what was left of his hair was snow-white and he was beginning to show a gut. His eyes were obscured behind sunglasses. Unlike his son, Unato didn't show off. He was calculating, cautious, and intelligent. Athrun respected Unato, but he didn't like him any more than Yuna.

"Control yourself, Yuna! Cagalli's free to marry whoever she likes. She's the princess," Unato said.

"But Father-"

"Yuna, drop it."

Pause.

"Yes, Father."

"And give Cagalli some space."

"Yes, Father."

On second thought, maybe Athrun did like Unato more than Yuna.

Yuna backed off, and Athrun caught a quick glare in his direction. Athrun pretended not to notice. He didn't want to make it too obvious he was Cagalli's fiance`.

"Uncle," Cagalli said, as she regained her composure, "I'm sorry for being absent at this time. I was helping the assault on Junius Seven to prevent its fall towards the Earth."

"I know. You, Admiral Kisaka, and the Astray pilots helped make it possible. I'm glad that through it all you made it home safely, Cagalli."

Unato looked at Athrun then. "Is he your only surviving bodyguard?"

"Yes, Prime Minister, I am," Athrun said softly.

Unato smiled. "You have better talent at survival than I thought, Athrun Zala."

Athrun had forgotten his identity was somewhat common knowledge around the Seirans. It was only to the Orb public, and foreigners, that he was "Alex Dino".

"Thank you, Prime Minister. I did my best to protect Cagalli," Athrun said.

Cagalli interjected then. "Listen to me, Uncle. We know some minor shards of Junius Seven were able to escape us before we could shoot them down. Have there been any reports of serious damage?"

"No, not at this time. It looks like the majority of the shards landed in the ocean. There is some damage elsewhere in the world, but overall deaths and destruction are limited."

"I see," Cagalli said softly. "I'm glad. It could have been a lot worse."

"I know," Unato said. "But we can discuss this more at the administration office. We also need to greet the ZAFT and Earth Alliance dignitaries. After all, they helped destroy Junius Seven as well."

"Yes, Uncle." Cagalli smiled warmly, but Athrun could tell the smile was false. She had something on her mind. Something big.

"Uncle," Cagalli finally said. "I heard that the Earth Alliance finally-"

"Cagalli, we should talk about this in private." Unato stared at Athrun and his son. The implication was obvious. You both should leave.

"Understood," Athrun said. He was disappointed. He had wanted to be by Cagalli a little while longer, he wanted to explain he was the person who had given Cagalli that ring, that they would soon wed, that they were in love . . .

"Don't worry, Athrun," Cagalli said. "Go out into the country. Go see how Kira and Lacus are doing."

Kira and Lacus, Athrun thought dumbly. Oh, wait! I didn't call them and tell them we were all right! Damn it! I hope that a personal visit makes up for it . . .

"That sounds like a good idea, Cagalli. Thanks."

Athrun turned around and walked away, trying to drown out the sounds of Yuna whining to Unato about not being privy to administrative meetings.

Lacus, Kira. I wonder how you two are doing. I hope Kira hasn't had any bad nightmares this time . . .

He didn't understand why Kira was the one sporting the mental war wounds and he wasn't. Everyone had gone their separate ways across the Orb Union after the war, but unlike most everyone else, who was hiding in Orb as wanted fugitives with some exceptions, Kira and Lacus weren't working for Morgenroete. They were living by themselves on a lonely road. It took some time to reach them. They weren't visited that often.

Athrun knew it was worth his time. If only to see Kira again . . .

Yeah. I should really see you again, Kira. To tell you of the changes we made together. To this world, and to everyone in it.
***
Gilbert Durandal looked frustrated. Talia Gladys wasn't surprised at this at all. She knew Durandal well enough that the man was good at suppressing external emotions. However, when he couldn't hold his emotions in check anymore, there was going to be hell to pay.

And right now his anger was directed at the Earth Alliance. There was an obvious reason why: they had three of the GUNDAM machines the ZAFT had developed. And the Earth Alliance wasn't giving any of them up.

Talia wasn't surprised by that. After three years, new GUNDAMs had been developed, but this time it was the ZAFT who had made them. And, in an eerie parallel to the last war, they had been stolen, and the majority of them were in the hands of a different power. Only two had been recovered.

Talia supposed it was an improvement over the Earth Alliance having their GUNDAMs hijacked during the Bloody Valentine War, where all but one GUNDAM went into the hands of the ZAFT. But still, this was not only politically embarrassing, but state secrets were soon going to be common knowledge to the Earth Alliance.

They would know how all of the new GUNDAMs worked and what it took to pilot them. Because they were built for Coordinators, though, Talia doubted the Earth Alliance would try to do anything to the operating systems to make them usable for Naturals. A quicker fix, especially if they expected combat to happen soon, would be to put Slants at the controls and hope for the best.

Talia knew that the Leighton Abrams had a cadre of Slant pilots. One of them had been briefly based here after the chaos of the hijacking. If the Earth Alliance would fight a shootout to keep its GUNDAMs they would use the Slants. They were only 50% Coordinator but they were close enough to be able to use a Coordinator-built OS. The young Slant pilot based on her ship, Shinn Asuka, was proof of that.

"So Chairman," Talia said finally, "How are we going to handle this? The ZAFT have the GUNDAM machines."

"I don't know. But they are in possession of ZAFT property. I'm willing to give them forty-eight hours. If they do not relinquish the GUNDAM machines within that timeframe I will consider it military theft and an act of war."

Talia stared. You're really willing to fight a war for three machines?

Durandal looked at her as if he had read her thoughts. "I know. But I have received many calls from the Council. The citizens are growing infuriated with the news. They want us to strike to get the GUNDAMs back."

"Really." Talia wasn't convinced at all.

Durandal sighed. "A lot of ZAFT citizens don't want a war but they don't want the Earth Alliance and the Orb to push us around. Plus, there is a rumor that the Earth Alliance hijacked our machines to begin with. We're doing our best to disprove the rumors but they have become widespread."

I wonder who would be stupid or opportunistic enough to do that, Talia thought. She thought she knew the culprit. Durandal was a sly politician. He would try to seize and channel the citizens so he would have popular support to fight a war so he could get his precious machines back.

But then Durandal dropped a bombshell. He chuckled briefly and sarcastically before saying "I've taken a major blow in the polls over my handling over this. A lot of people are wondering why I bothered to destroy Junius Seven and save the Earth when the rumor is that the Earth Alliance took my Mobile Suits from the start. They're seeing me as weak, fumbling, and tired."

Talia raised an eyebrow. The chairman wouldn't do anything to hurt his political capital. He values power too much even if he won't admit it. So this means he has a rival somewhere in the ZAFT inner circle. But who? I wonder if Ezalia Joule had a contact within the Supreme Council.

Durandal said "If I don't do something to get those GUNDAMs back the unrest will spread to open rebellion. That's why it's important I head back to the PLANTs as soon as possible."

"And what will you do, Chairman, once you get back?"

Durandal smiled. "I have a plan. It involves some political dirty tricks, but it may keep the people calmed down enough to buy me some time to find a peaceful resolution to this crisis and get our GUNDAMs back without a fight."

Political dirty tricks? I wonder what he has in store. If the people are as livid as he is saying if he gets caught using questionable tactics it could blow up in his face.

"My only interests are in peace, Captain Gladys," Durandal said softly. "You know that. We may not have spoken for a while until this crisis but you do know that. The last thing we all need is another war."

"You're right, Chairman." Talia refused to soften her tone for him. If she did that, she might . . .

"The Orb have arranged a small plane on their Mass Driver for me. After some pleasantries with the current Prime Minister I will be leaving tonight. Please find pilots for the Saviour and the Impulse in the case of a surprise attack."

"That sounds like a good idea. I'll go through a list of pilots that survived the last confrontation and assign the two best possible."

"Oh, and by the way," Durandal said offhand as he got up to leave for the door.

"What?" Talia said impatiently.

"I believe the Slant pilot, Shinn Asuka, may be considering defection. I suggest you send a team to track him down before he does so."

How does he know that and I didn't? Should I believe him? How does he even know the pilot's name? Talia thought in a rush.

"Good luck to you, Captain Gladys." And then he was gone.

Talia folded her arms and rested her head on her hands. Damn it. Durandal knew Asuka's name. This means he probably is right about Ensign Asuka. It doesn't surprise me. The pilots haven't been treating him with much respect.

She got up then.

I'll have to dissuade him personally. I've barely talked with him, but if I can convince him that I care for his well-being at least it might mollify him, at least a little. It'll be better than sending combat troops to run him down.

Shinn Asuka was a special pilot according to the dossier. A Slant who was able to operate a Coordinator OS. And he was a good pilot, albeit a moody one. He could pilot one of those GUNDAMs, probably.

There. I have an incentive for him to stay. He stays here, he gets a GUNDAM. It won't make me popular among the "Coordinators are superior" group but the last thing I need is a defection. If Asuka goes through with this it'll only make the situation with the Earth Alliance messier.

'Course, if Shinn defects with a GUNDAM, it'll make my life more difficult. But I think a mixture of carrots and sticks will make him give up whatever crazy ideas he has.

She walked out of the bridge, and headed for the cafeteria. She wanted the situation to be secretive. She would need to find out Asuka's whereabouts and put Arthur Trine in charge of the Minerva while she went out. The Orb weren't due to meet her for a few hours anyway. She had time to search for him and track the kid down before he did something stupid.

And there was no doubt on Talia's mind that if she let the situation fester, the kid would do something stupid. And if he did . . . there would be nothing that could be done to prevent another war.

And that was the last thing Talia Gladys wanted.

[rebel_cheese]

Be a little while until Chapter Seventeen. I had finals to work through and Chapter Seventeen has a LOT going on at once, it's going to be fairly long. I'll try to get it up soon.

[rebel_cheese]

Been a while, hasn't it?

You will notice a substantial difference between a character introduced here and the Destiny counterpart. That's because I wanted to make the character the exact opposite of the Destiny counterpart. I hope I didn't make the character unappealing in the process.
___________________________________________________________________________
Chapter Seventeen: Aftershocks

God does not roll dice.
-Albert Einstein

He had never walked these streets before. But something about them seemed so familiar to Shinn Asuka, as he peered down the alleys, as he looked at the storefronts, as he saw outcasts weave among the happy, well-to-do people, trying to scrape a living.

Not that long ago, he thought, I used to live like them.

"Is something wrong, Shinn?"

Shinn turned to Meyrin. She had been trying to cheer him up the whole time. She had been friendly, laughing, trying to get him involved and distracted, and now hse was making Shinn wonder about her.

I can't help but get the feeling she was planted here to distract me. The thought was ridiculous, as Meyrin was too low-ranked to get even a whiff out of any intelligence reports.

"Look, Shinn, this isn't a date. It's just a walk around town between friends," Meyrin said.

"I'm a friend now?" Shinn asked.

"Yes," she said firmly. "You are a friend. I consider you a friend at least. I know you have a rough time of it because you're a Slant, but I don't play genetics the way a lot of people, including my sister, do."

"Gee, thanks," Shinn muttered.

Meyrin put her hands on her hips and looked at him oddly. "You really should be more sociable, Shinn," she said. "Maybe you'd make more friends."

"Right now, I don't-" And then he saw her.

She was wearing civilian clothes, like they had arranged. And she had brought her friends with her, too, also in civilian clothes.

Shinn smiled. Just as planned.

Only thing that wasn't according to plan was on his end. Meyrin.

She'd be easy enough to lose, though. It would take only a small effort to get her looking the other way.

And even if he couldn't it wouldn't take much for Meyrin to be knocked out of the way. She was going to be part of the past soon. Stellar was going to be part of the future. Or the future.

Stellar removed her baseball cap, her signal for him to come over. It would take only a few footsteps, and the ZAFT would be left behind.

Life would still be hard, Shinn knew that. Slants were barely more accepted with the Earth Alliance than in the ZAFT. But Stellar would make life sweeter and more rewarding. It beat trying to get revenge for Mayu, something he could never achieve. He couldn't let that rule his life anymore.

And he still had his memories of Mayu. His wonderful little sister. She would still be important but now he could make new memories he could treasure. She was probably watching over him. That was why he was still alive. And once he was with-

Meyrin grabbed his arm.

Shinn turned.

Meyrin's eyes were steely. "You're going to leave, aren't you?"

Shinn's eyes widened.

"I thought so," Meyrin said softly. She looked away, closed her eyes for a moment, and looked at Shinn again. "Why?"

Shinn discovered he couldn't speak. He tried to make a sound, but nothing came out of his mouth. His throat was so constricted with sheer terror and panic he could barely even breathe.

He heard footsteps from behind him. Stellar and her friends. This was going to make a bad situation even worse. He flinched as the footsteps came close. This was going to be ugly.

Meyrin's eyes became watery. "Why, Shinn?"

Surprisingly, it wasn't Shinn or Stellar who spoke next. It was Sting Oakley. "Who's this, Shinn?"

Finally, Shinn rediscovered his voice, but it was hollow. "This is Meyrin Hawke. She works in communications."

Meyrin looked at the three Earth Alliance pilots, and sighed softly. "You are Shinn's girlfriend, aren't you? Stellar's your name, right?"

"Yes," Stellar said softly.

Meyrin forced a smile to her face despite the tears leaking from her eyes. "You look like someone Shinn would like. No wonder he's switching sides."

Stellar said "You can come with us, if you want."

Meyrin froze for a second, her eyes widening. "You'd really bring me with?"

"Do you want to leave too? I have room for one more passenger," Stellar said, and she offered her hand to Meyrin. "I'll make sure nothing happens to you. If you are a friend of Shinn you're a friend to me too."

The looks on Sting's and Auel's faces suggested they disagreed with Stellar's approach. But it would be the least noticeable way. But would Meyrin actually defect too? What would she gain by doing that? Wouldn't she lose more by leaving than staying?

And Meyrin seemed to realize that. She looked away. "No, I can't. My sister would never forgive me if I did that."

Stellar's hand retracted. "If you ever want to leave I will come for you," she said.

Meyrin turned around, her shoulders shaking. She was obviously crying now. "Shinn, I hope you're happy with her," she managed.

"Meyrin," Shinn said, in a vain attempt to stop her. It hadn't occurred to him that she genuinely wanted to be his friend. "Please, you can come with us."

Meyrin looked at Shinn, tears streaking down her face. "I can't, Shinn. I can't throw everything away for you, not when your heart belongs to someone else."

Shinn's eyes widened. Wait, what?

"Goodbye, Shinn." Then Meyrin ran off and vanished into the surrounding crowd in seconds.

Shinn stared at Meyrin as she vanished, in complete shock. Did she like me? What did I do to deserve that? I was alone at the ZAFT. Why would she care about me?

Shinn felt Stellar's hand on his shoulder, and Shinn turned and looked at Stellar.

Stellar had a warm smile across her face. "Let's go, Shinn. I'm sorry about her, she looks like a great girl, someone I'd want to know."

"Yeah, I guess." Now I wish I had gotten to know her too, Shinn thought.

But then an entirely new voice entered the conversation. To his horror, Shinn recognized the voice too. "I'm sorry, but I can't let Shinn Asuka go so easily."

Shinn turned around and saw his captain, Talia Gladys, standing literally where Meyrin had vanished, in civilian clothes but no less recognizible.

Talia removed the sunglasses she was wearing and stared directly at the Earth Alliance pilots. "Shinn, you have no idea the mistake you're making."

"I'm not making a mistake," Shinn said. "I'm leaving to be with the girl I love!"

"Your feelings are blinding you, and the girl for that matter, to the greater truth," Talia said simply. She took a couple of steps forward, and her eyes became steely. "You leave, Shinn Asuka, and you will be the spark that ignites a whole powderkeg."

Shinn stared. What did she mean by that?

Stellar and her friends seemed to want to know too. They hadn't drawn guns yet but they were definitely ready to do so.

Talia sighed. "Shinn, there's a lot you don't know, so this is going to be lengthy. But I hope you understand, and I have a reward for you if you choose not to make the situation explode."

"What reward?" Stellar asked, her right hand steadily inching towards her holstered pistol.

"The reward is once in a lifetime," Talia said. She smiled. "How would you like to make GUNDAM Impulse yours, Shinn Asuka?"

Shinn's mouth fell open.
***
Athrun sighed as he walked down the dirt road, and stared at the church-sized schoolhouse in front of him. He had been there for a few times the last three years. It was a quiet, out-of-the-way area just an hour out from the current Orb capital. It was a shame Cagalli couldn't come along. When was the last time she had seen her twin brother?

A few months? Maybe even a year?

Far too long.

The countryside was peaceful, though. A small two-lane road with grasslands and farms on both sides. This island was fairly temperate by Orb standards. It made for comfortable living, though it never got cold enough to snow.

The orphanage came in sight. It looked a little bigger since Athrun had last seen it, maybe they had added on an extra room. Athrun smiled inwardly. It would be great to see them again, Kira, Lacus. Hopefully the events of the last couple of days hadn't been too traumatizing for Kira.

Athrun sighed. Kira probably hadn't taken the recent events so well. After all, Cagalli had been in danger during virtually all of it. It was only recently since they had managed to get to safety.

This probably wasn't going to be the last conflagration for a while either. It was public knowledge now. The Earth Alliance had three ZAFT GUNDAM machines that failed to meet treaty standards, and ZAFT had held onto two others. ZAFT wanted the machines back. The EA wasn't going to comply, not immediately anyway.

And Orb was going to be caught in the middle again.

Unless they chose a side.


And that seemed likely this time. Neither Cagalli or Unato Sieran were stupid. If they were neutral they were just going to be dragged into things all over again. They had been lucky to escape with their country's survival once. How lucky would they be again?

The previous escape had to have been one in a million. There was no way Orb would manage another miracle like that.

Not unless they had a trick up their sleeves that Athrun didn't know about.

But what did it matter? He had come here to shove those thoughts of his head. The problems of the world didn't matter out here.

Only the problems of Kira.

Athrun pulled up to the side of the road, and looked to his right. It was a beautiful day, yet no one was outside.

Wait, this is a school day. Crap, I arrived too early. I'll just be a disruption if I walk inside now.

Athrun laid his head to rest on the steering wheel. He had forgotten today was a weekday. Just because he didn't have to worry about school didn't mean that was true for Lacus and Kira. They were the teachers here!

Lacus could actually qualify as a teacher, when it came to arts, literature, and languages. Especially languages. She had mastered several languages and could teach them all with minimal issues. Heck, she could even sound like a natural speaker of English, Latin, and Japanese, her diction was so crisp and clear with those three.

Kira . . . not so much. Though he was reportedly getting better. He did have an amazing tutor, though. Plus Kira had math skills that were the envy of the academy back when he and Athrun were kids.

Athrun wished he knew languages the same way Lacus and Kira did. Cagalli knew several as well but that didn't mean she actually had time to teach Athrun that. Athrun was basically trying to get along with what he had learned in school before becoming a soldier. It wasn't bad by any standards but not perfect either.

He looked up at the sky, and then at the building again.

Oh, what the hell.

Knowing his luck, when the kids were out of class Cagalli was going to give him a call and say the world was ending soon and she needed him. And all of this would have been a waste.

He got out of the car, locked it, and trudged towards the large house-like structure. All right, it wasn't huge on second glance but it was a pretty decent size. It could definitely fit all of the kids who were living in there.

Now that he looked around, actually, the surroundings were pretty dazzling. Like there was something pure about this place.

It seemed to fit the orphanage nicely.

He walked up to the door and discovered it was unlocked. Athrun wondered why the orphanage was so trusting. Who said some bastard wouldn't charge in here and gun down everyone?

But then again who would come? No one knew Kira and Lacus were here. Not outside the survivors of the Three Ships Alliance.

If anyone would come to kill them, it would have to be a traitor.

The survivors of the TSA weren't as close-knit as they had once been but Athrun doubted any of them had lost their way. All of them had chosen Orb as a refuge, and Orb was a good place to live. It was free of the biases that dominated both the EA and the ZAFT.

Or, perhaps, Orb had an entirely different set of biases.

Athrun carefully opened the door a crack, and hoped that he wouldn't be faced with some kind of defense system. When nothing happened, Athrun breathed a sigh of relief and opened the door all the way.

That was when a weight came on his head, water showered all over him, and his eyesight became nothing but black.

Athrun stumbled around in a surprised daze muttering and yelling gibberish before he found a wall and collapsed next to it, fumbling with the wet, plastic thing that had come down on his head.

He realized what had happened the moment he heard kids giggling.

"Oh man! Miss Lacus, Miss Lacus! It worked! I got an intruder!" a boy's voice yelled.

"Fletcher, what did you do now?" That was Lacus, putting on the best "stern teacher" voice she had.

Athrun took the green bucket off of his head and laid it aside, and found himself surrounded by kids.

Great. I helped save the world again and I've just been defeated by kids, Athrun thought.

Lacus pushed her way through the kids and sighed. "Athrun, of all of the people who I expected to fall for one of Fletcher's traps you were at the bottom of the list."

It took a moment for Athrun to place the language Lacus was using. Oh wait, Spanish, Athrun thought. Might as well play along.

Unfortunately, his Spanish was rusty, so he wound up talking like this: "Door unlocked. Saw no trouble. World gone black and wet."

The kids laughed.

Lacus hushed them and then shook her head, and reverted to her natural tongue. "Athrun, can we talk later? I'm trying to teach a class and you're the disruption."

"Right," Athrun said, as he felt his face turn red.

Lacus ushered the kids down the hall and back into the classroom, leaving Athrun to stew in his embarrassment. Not only had he been beaten physically by a bucket but he had been defeated mentally as well, outsmarted by Lacus and a bratty kid.

This was not going to be a good visit.
***
Gilbert Durandal was a shrewd man. He knew what situation he was in. The negotiations to get the GUNDAMs back would require tenacity but also a delicate touch. He knew how sick the ZAFT were of war, but if getting the GUNDAMs back meant war, he had to make it seem that the ZAFT were the good guys.

Never mind that it was the ZAFT that had violated the Junius Seven Treaty the most severely.

In that sense, all of the parties were in the wrong. All of them, even the supposedly pacifistic Orb, had violated the terms and conditions by making new Mobile Suit models.

Of course, the ZAFT had done the most obscene violation by building the GUNDAMs. There was a lot of blame to go around and Gilbert was going to receive a lot of it. And there was no question that Gilbert deserved some of it. He had committed many mistakes and this was the current result.

But not the end result.

This wasn't over, not by a long shot.

There was some things he could not do. But those things someone else could do.

"Having fun yet, Chairman?" asked a deep female voice to his right.

Gilbert sighed and looked in the woman's direction. He smiled wryly. "The dosages of venom given by the public and the Supreme Council are quite pleasant, I assure you."

"I'll pass."

Gilbert's smile faded. "I'm going to need you to regain some ground lost."

"You mean we want to look like the good guys in case the Earth Alliance doesn't give you what you want," the woman said, chuckling.

Did she have to be so blunt? She was politically astute, a necessity, but she didn't need to word things so Gilbert sounded like a spoiled brat who had toys stolen from him.

The woman stepped out from the shadow, revealing herself. She had been an action movie star before the Bloody Valentine War, who played great, athletic heroines who could not only save the PLANTs but the Earth as well. She had fallen on hard times since the war, as the public had no appetite for action or war films. Or, she would have if she didn't have other identities to become.

The great power of the woman was her genetic version of Method acting. Few knew she took on the identity of another actress, one slimmer and innocent, who typically played a gentle and kind damsel that needed to be rescued by the hero. And she could become a different actress, a young girl who could become adorable or creepy as the role suggested.

And still others. The ZAFT public never knew that six movie stars were the exact same person.

And recently, she had taken on a seventh form as well.

She had forgotten her real name, and her real form, considering she only worked under an alias. The name she went by the most, though, was the identity of her action heroine actress.

Meer Campbell.

Meer liked appearing in her action heroine form the most. She liked the physical power and confidence of it. She had styled, wavy brown hair cut in a wild yet tasteful look, deep blue eyes, and brown skin that suggested a Hispanic ancestry. She looked exotic, beautiful, and strong. And absolutely fearless.

Too bad for her, then, that Gilbert had no use for Meer's favorite form, not unless he was facing down an assassination attempt.

Gilbert walked over and handed Meer a sheet. "No time for your games," he said. "And remember the recordings you've watched. You're going to need them."

Meer sighed. "I hate this girl," she said.

"I don't care. This is what you are being paid to do. I could have gone to a much cheaper alternative than you but you're the one my advisers suggested. Because you never make a mistake."

Meer chuckled softly. Her voice was smoky but smooth, attractive and sultry. Gilbert knew why so many men had fallen heads over heels for Meer despite her feminist ideals and appearance.

"You're right," Meer said. "I don't."

Then Meer shifted. In seconds, her hands and arms became pale and slim. Her hair extended and straightened, becoming straight and pink. She lost several inches in height, and her face became innocent and gentle.

A few seconds after shuddering away the last vestiges of her favorite self, Meer opened her eyes. The only thing that gave her away as not being her new identity was the smug look on her face, something easily remedied by her acting style.

Her voice, though, was perfect. Soft and gentle, yet with a hidden power that could captivate people.

Meer spoke. "What would you have Lacus Clyne do, Chairman?"

Gilbert smiled inwardly. "Memorize this," Gilbert said, pointing at the sheet. "Perform it tomorrow deep from your heart."

"I will, Chairman," the perfect imitation of Lacus Clyne replied.

No, that wasn't quite right.

She was his own personal, private Lacus Clyne.

And she would make the ZAFT people do what Gilbert Durandal couldn't.

Listen to his message.

[Antares]

Not too bad, after such a long break. I struggle to see Lacus and Kira as teachers, though. Plus this bit

Shinn smiled. Just as planned.

of Yagami Shinn made me laugh out loud. I assume this was intentional.

[rebel_cheese]

Not too bad, after such a long break. I struggle to see Lacus and Kira as teachers, though. Plus this bit

Shinn smiled. Just as planned.

of Yagami Shinn made me laugh out loud. I assume this was intentional.

Haha, I know, I know. It's kinda hard to picture either of them doing something so mundane. XD The "Yagami Shinn" was actually unintentional, it was supposed to be more of a joyful smile than anything else. If I was going for Yagami Shinn I would have written "Exactly as planned". XD

Anyway, here's another new chapter to make up for the long wait. Hope you like it, it's a bit of a risky one . . .

___________________________________________________________________________
Chapter Eighteen: Reason

When first we met we did not guess
That Love would prove so hard a master;
Of more than common friendliness
When first we met we did not guess.
Who could fortell this sore distress,
This irretrievable disaster
When first we met - We did not guess
That Love would prove so hard a master.
-Robert Bridges, Triolet


Had he made the right decision?

Had he made the peaceful choice?

Had he made the selfish choice?

Had he lost his only chance to be with whom he loved?

Had he chosen his love, would he have died back there?

These questions rumbled through Shinn Asuka's mind as Talia Gladys drove him through the Orb city towards the harbor. The Minerva was being repaired there, it had taken minor scrapes from the battles in space and then re-entry. It was also being reinforced with more pilots and Zakus to make up for casualties lost. The other ZAFT ship, the Charles Darwin, was also at the base being reinforced. It seemed to be designated at the Minerva's escort.

Talia finally spoke. "You made the right decision, Ensign."

"You were going to shoot me."

Talia sighed. "If I let you walk away, I would be guilty of tolerating treason. That's just as bad as treason itself in the eyes of the ZAFT. The moment I encountered you my life was on the line."

"So you were going to kill me to keep your job."

Talia frowned. "Ensign, there are dozens of pilots available to fly Impulse. Many more qualified than you. But I gave the Impulse to you not just to entice you away from defection."

"Then why?"

"Because maybe it'll show the Coordinators that maybe Slants need to be respected too."

Shinn pondered that for a little bit, and decided that Talia was just yanking his chain. He couldn't trust his captain, not after her finding out and stopping what he was going to do. What if this just some colossal trap, and instead of the Impulse there was going to be a firing squad waiting for him?

Talia added "You're a talented young man. You're in need of direction, and friends, but your talent is incredible. You can pilot an OS built for Coordinators. Not only that, but pilot it well. You don't know it but ZAFT Slants look up to you, Ensign. You're a hero to them."

"And what's that supposed to mean?" Shinn asked.

"If you defected, just imagine how ZAFT Slants would react."

"There would be rebellion, wouldn't there? Riots?"

"You're not far off. You would gut the morale of every Slant in the PLANTs and military. Cut their hope. Drive it home that they can't have lives in the ZAFT. You would be a massive propaganda coup for the Earth Alliance. And many, many Slants would abandon the ZAFT and defect. And things would just continue to worsen from there, a domino effect."

Shinn sighed. "I'm no hero. Why would people consider me one?"

"Because you do what every Slant dreams to do but never has the opportunity to because the system is stacked against them," Talia said. "You are the dream of every wannabe Slant pilot in the ZAFT. You represent their goals. You are living proof that it's possible to become a pilot in the ZAFT if you're a Slant."

"Some role model I am," Shinn growled as he stared at the enlarging Minerva.

"You are a role model. And by giving you a GUNDAM, I have given every Slant hope, instead of despair by letting you defect. You are a propaganda commodity, Ensign."

"You're no political officer, though," Shinn said.

"Who says I was doing it for politics?" Talia asked, a wry smile crossing her face. "I did it for all of the Slants in the military."

Shinn stared. "Are you secretly a Slant?"

"I am pure Coordinator. But I know reality, Ensign. We were decimated in that war. We need every man and woman we can get ready to defend the PLANTs. You are a recruitment tool as well as a soldier, Ensign. And who knows, maybe, just maybe, we will have more Slants getting fair shots in the military and getting to showcase their own special talents," Talia said.

Shinn sighed. "What are you going to do about Meyrin?" he asked.

"Oh, she'll keep quiet. Meyrin saw me while she was running away. She knew I was going to intervene, and if I brought you back, there's no way she's going to let anyone know what you tried to do."

I doubt it. Why would she do that? She has nothing to gain by doing that, Shinn thought.

Talia smiled warmly. "Not everyone is bigoted, Ensign. Stop paying attention to the people who are. Now get out. I'm sure there's someone eager to see you."

What does she mean by- Then Shinn saw.

Meyrin, standing there on the docks, and she turned and looked at Shinn with the widest eyes Shinn had ever seen.

Talia patted Shinn on the shoulder. "You have a friend here at the ZAFT, Ensign. Make some more now. You need friends if you're going to make it through life."

Shinn looked at the captain. She smiled. "Get going. Don't let me delay you any longer."

"Uh, all right. Thanks, ma'am."

Shinn exited the car then, and walked slowly towards Meyrin. Meyrin walked over and finally let out a deep breath.

"Shinn," she said. "I thought I'd never see you again."

Shinn scratched the back of his head. "The captain had other ideas."

"I'll talk to Luna for you. I'll make sure she never treats you badly again."

"She's not the reason I tried to-"

"I don't care. Luna has her reasons for acting the way she does. She's going to find out acting that way around you is pointless."

"Why?" Shinn asked.

Meyrin's smile turned devious. "Luna has a little secret she doesn't want anyone to know. Especially you."

Shinn tried to wrack his brain and came up empty. "What?"

Meyrin told him.
***
Kira looked underweight and he had bags under his eyes, but he didn't look like death warmed over. An improvement over other times Athrun had seen Kira.

"It's been a while since we've seen you in person," Kira said. "I know you call us and stuff but still."

"You're my friend, Kira. I'm not going to stop visiting you or Lacus. We're Three Ships Alliance. We helped stop the end of the world. We have to stick together no matter what."

Kira nodded slowly. "I guess."

"Cagalli wants to see you too, Kira. She's just busy," Athrun said.

"She's always too busy," Kira said softly as he averted his gaze.

Cagalli hadn't seen Kira in person in a year. Kira's appearance had disturbed her one too many times and she didn't want to keep looking at her brother wasting away. She cared for Kira still but didn't like looking at a "skeleton with skin and Kira's face", as she had put it once.

Lacus re-entered the room then. "In any case, this was a nice surprise, Athrun," she said. "Especially so soon after stopping the fall of Junius Seven."

"It was a hard thing to do," Athrun said. "My mother died there. The wreath and plaque there is gone now. This symbol of peace is gone now. I wonder if there's some symbolism in it now."

Kira's lips quivered for a second, and then he looked down. "I don't want another war. One was enough," he said.

Lacus sat down by Kira and draped her arm over his shoulder. "There's not going to be another war," she said.

That's not quite true, Athrun said, but he stopped himself the moment he saw Lacus' eyes. It was always a shock to see such a severe gaze come from her. It was a sign of how Lacus had changed. The idealistic girl she had been wasn't quite there anymore.

In any case, Lacus' unsaid message was right. There was a time to discuss politics, and that wasn't in front of Kira.

"Look, after what just happened," Athrun said hurriedly, "I don't think anyone wants that to happen on a larger scale. Terrorism is bad enough."

Kira nodded, but he didn't look convinced.

"Cagalli's an amazing politician, Kira. There'll never be a war with her around," Athrun added.

"She's not some perfect goddess," Kira said. "There are things Cagalli can't do."

"But she has influ-" Another glare from Lacus told Athrun it was time to shut up now.

Lacus spoke then. "Kira, war isn't your concern anymore. No one is that stupid. Stop thinking about war and remember why you're here."

"Teaching the new generation?" Kira askd.

"Not just that. You're helping to make a new world, Kira," Lacus said. "These kids will be running the world some day. And they will run it well. You are working for hope."

Kira got up then, and rubbed his eyes. "I'll be back in a minute," he said, and walked away.

The moment he was gone Lacus looked at Athrun fiercely, and Athrun suddenly realized he was in for a salvo of words.

"Why are you here?" Lacus asked.

"Because I wanted to visit Kira," Athrun said.

"Do you think now is the best time for Kira to be reminded of what he went through, and where he is right now in comparison to you and everyone else?"

Athrun's eyes widened. Even the last time he had spoken to Lacus in person she had never spoken so bitterly.

"He thinks this is a pity visit, Athrun. You're here because you pity him. Don't pity him." Lacus' lips quivered and her eyes became watery. "Don't you dare pity him. That makes him feel less than human."

"He's not less than human," Athrun said.

"He feels that way," Lacus said. "He's convinced he's a monster and no matter how hard I try I can't shake it from his head. He's got voices talking to him. Zombies. Demons. And because of Junius Seven falling from the sky all he can think about is another war starting. And you're a reminder of that."

"How am I a reminder?" Athrun asked, barely keeping his voice down.

"You got to save the world again. Kira's stuck here where he can't make a difference. You think he wants or likes that?" Lacus made a scoffing noise. "You're shoving your success and your heroism in his face by being here."

Athrun simply stared at Lacus, completely stunned. "You really think I came here to mock him? Lacus, come on. I think he just needs to see a friend."

"He hurts me every day," Lacus said, tears beginning to stream from her eyes. "Many mornings when he wakes up he doesn't see me as human. In his nightmares he is adrift in some reality where all the people he killed or died because of him torture and haunt him. There is blood all over his hands, his entire body."

Athrun looked away, wincing. "I'm aware of that."

"Look at what he did to me," Lacus said, lifting up her shirt a bit. The bruises on her abdomen were plain to see, and seeing Lacus injured nearly jolted Athrun off of his seat.

"I, uh . . . I didn't know Kira could do that," Athrun said.

"He's capable of anything when he is possessed by his nightmares," Lacus said. Her hands gripped her knees. "And every time he hurts me it tears him apart a little more. I want to help him so much but sometimes it feels like there's nothing I can do. He would be fine if his nightmares could be disspelled."

"What about a psych-"

"That won't work, Athrun. We tried that already. He went into SEED mode and nearly killed the psychiatrist."

Athrun knew what SEED mode was. He had seen the SEED shatter himself. But it hadn't happened to him nearly as much as it had for Kira. Kira had seen his SEED shatter dozens of times in a span of months, while Athrun's SEED had shattered less frequently over a briefer span.

SEED mode was an ultimate berserker mode, where the Coordinator who saw the SEED shatter was capable of feats far greater than humans could do. Granted, Naturals seemed capable of it too, Cagalli had seen a SEED shatter too in the final battle, but it seemed to be far less frequent and barely even possible for them.

Lacus looked down. "Sometimes I wonder if it's SEED mode itself that's doing this to him. I don't know. I'm out of explanations. Kira didn't do the horrible things he sees himself doing. He killed people, but he never killed civilians. He never annihilated cities and burned them to the ground. Why does he see himself doing these things?"

Lacus began to shake softly, and Athrun rose from his seat. Athrun realized that Lacus had no one to talk to about this, not until he had come. He wondered how long Lacus had been keeping this inside her. How long Lacus had been wanting to talk to someone but couldn't.

"Why?" Lacus asked. "Why did this have to happen to him? He is such an amazing person. Why?"

"I don't know," Athrun said as he embraced Lacus softly. "I just don't know."

Lacus began to cry into his shoulder then, and Athrun held her tightly.
***
Listening to Lacus cry broke Kira's heart.

He just listened to her sob into the arms of someone who was actually capable of comforting her. Someone she could talk to, cry to, where she could say what she wanted and be comforted. He couldn't do the same for her. It was clear after listening to her. She was keeping so much bottled up inside . . .

I'm not worthy of you, Kira thought. Why do you bother? Why do you care?

He hugged himself and shook against the wall as he listened to Lacus continue to cry. Athrun whispered unintelligible words to her, and Kira could only guess what Athrun was saying.

Athrun would have been so much better for Lacus than he was. Athrun was what Lacus deserved. Athrun was worthy of Lacus' love. Not Kira. Athrun would never hit her. Athrun would never dream of being a monster.

Kira was isolated from everyone else already. No one could bear to look at him anymore. He might as well be a monster. Murrue Ramius didn't visit him. Neither did Waltfield. Or Miriallia. Sai. Kuzzey.

Cagalli.

His sister plainly didn't care about him anymore no matter what Lacus or Athrun said. He had been abandoned and forgotten by his own sister. How long before Athrun followed too?

How long before Lacus would be gone one day?

He would be alone, wouldn't he?

Without Lacus . . .

He was just someone being swallowed up by a great dark pit.

He wouldn't be anyone.

Just someone forgotten, a phantom, a memory.

That's what he was becoming to everyone. A phantom, an unwelcoming sight.

Should he just leave Lacus now? Before she suffered even more? Before she didn't care anymore?

It was clear that she was finally beginning to break. His condition, his suffering, all it did was make her suffer.

Kira couldn't stand to listen to her cry anymore. He walked away, trying not to make noise. He stumbled through the kitchen, suddenly under siege by thoughts. Thoughts of what Lacus could be saying soon. Words of betrayal. Words of hatred. Words of bitterness.

A lone carving knife laid out of the counter. Kira looked at the knife, then his wrists. Immediately, he saw cuts appear on them, as if by magic, and blood bubbling out of and streaking down his arms, staining his sleeves.

Lacus hated him, didn't she? He had ruined her life. Everything she had worked for was in shambles because of him. She had become nobody thanks to him. Because he was useless. Because he had no strength.

He forced himself out of the kitchen without picking up the knife. He'd shatter Lacus for certain if he hurt himself.

Oh, why did he care? Lacus definitely hated him. Only her conscience was keeping her here. It would be better if he just removed himself from her life. Left her here. No one would miss him. The kids would have another teacher soon. Lacus would never be hit again. Nobody else bothered with him. Not even his adoptive parents.

Everything would be better if he was just dead.

So he turned around, and looked at the knife. He imagined what would happen after he died. They'd rejoice, wouldn't they? Kira, the insane manic-depressive abusive monster, would finally be gone. He had served his purpose. They had used him up and spat him out.

They'd be happy to see him gone.

Before he could think, the knife was in his right hand. It was like an automatic motion out of his control. He stared at the shiny blade, and blinked away tears. His reflection could be seen on the metal, and he saw how pathetic he was.

He had no reason to exist in this world anymore.

But before he could do anything, he heard a cry of distress from the other side of the kitchen. He looked up, and saw Lacus, her teary eyes widened in a kind of absolute fright that Kira had never seen before.

"Kira!" Lacus wailed, her face becoming pale. Her mouth quivered and her hands shook as she brought them to her chest. Her legs shook violently as she looked ready to collapse.

"D-Don't do it," she stammered. "Don't do it. God, don't do it!"

Then she ran over, so fast Kira couldn't even move before her arms were wrapped around him.

"Don't do it! Please don't do it! Don't do it! Don't leave me here! Not like this! Kira, don't go! I love you!"

It was those final three words that finally shattered Kira out of his trance. He looked from Lacus' hair to the knife in his hand, and upon seeing his reflection again he yelped in surprise. He couldn't believe what he had nearly done.

The knife fell from his hand and clattered on the floor.

Kira's knees grew weak and he fell limp, supported by Lacus' arms. His eyes stared into empty space. What was he doing? What had he been about to do?

What was wrong with him?

All he had done was hurt Lacus more.

That's all that he had done. That's all killing himself would do.

Just hurt the woman he loved.
***
Athrun could only stare.

He never knew how bad Kira's condition was. How close to the edge he was. How delicate his emotions were. He couldn't comprehend why Kira had picked up the knife, why on a whim Kira would consider suicide right here and now, but it was apparent something was wrong.

Something was really wrong with Kira.

He gingerly walked over to the two of them, huddled together on the kitchen floor, completely oblivious to everyone and everything, even the burgeoning crowd of kids surrounding the kitchen that knew better than to approach.

They were both crying, but only one was making any sound.

Kira was just staring off into space, scarcely blinking, his mouth slightly hanging open but no noise escaping his mouth. It was only Lacus whose sobs were audible.

Athrun got down to his knees and wrapped one arm around each of them and closed his eyes and just breathed as calmly as he could.

Lacus couldn't support Kira. Not by herself. Trying to stay strong for him was wearing her down.

She needed someone to be her rock, the same way Kira needed Lacus to be his rock.

Maybe Athrun would have to be the rock for both of them.

At least until the reverend came back from wherever he was.

No, that wasn't good enough.

Whatever the case, no matter what Lacus said, Athrun would have to visit more often. He needed to make sure Kira and Lacus knew someone still gave a damn about them in the outside world.

It would have to be him. He was going to have to be the strong one.

It would have to be him because no one else was.

He held them both for a long time, becoming their shield and their blanket until they finally got up from the floor.

[rebel_cheese]

There's another post coming tomorrow, and I am making good progress on Chapter Twenty. There will be another post next Tuesday as well, but then I am taking Christmas break off to try to get a month-long buffer so I only have to write one chapter a week instead of this frantic pace that I'm doing right now to make up for lost time.

I'd like to have a standard posting schedule from henceforth, most likely on Thursdays after Christmas break.