New fanfic: Gundam Seed Phoenix

[Antares]

I think you will find quite soon that the EDF (incl. AF) and Sanders can find a common chord. Perhaps the emotional charge of Cagalli's and Chiiro's exchange is stronger in my head than on paper, because it was supposed to be strong especially because you have the daughter of the biggest martyr of CE going against a woman who has lost both her husband and her child to war. Both find reason for their existence and motivation from their traumatic past. As for Chiiro's arguments, those are purely her own, and very personal. That is why I thought it would be wrong for her to go into a logical denouncement of the UPA, which contrasts nicely (I thought) with Cagalli's oh-am-I-ever-so-righteous -approach. True, it is of course easier for UPA/Orb/Sanders & co. to look good against bigots who fire nukes at civilians. I admit that is slightly too black and white. I must point out however, that the radical wing is not all AF, however. Maybe I ought to mention that in the character profiles if that would help, because e.g. Vries is Eurasian. The gray area is more often within the UPA when Athrun tries to balance power, freedom and peace all at the same time.

[Antares]

Oh noes, he has more!
Episode 30 - The Longest Day is up now. WMDs to the left and to the right. Bye-bye for some, hello again to some others. Be afraid, be very afraid. I held on as long as I could. If you don't know what I mean, you will if you read to the end. Q&A and character profiles updated accordingly.
Word of caution: My blog gets spammed with dubious links so much that usually I just delete the whole lot without looking into them so please direct your comments either here on the board, in PM or in email. And I am very happy to get feedback, just don't break my soul. And a big hand to CHASER again for proof-reading my stuff so I feel more confident about putting it on the internets.

Excerpt of episode 30 (two part):

[Knowing the technical specs of the GUNDAM Dei can improvise, but in standard fighting he has little to offer. Now the ASTRAYs seem to be done waiting, the remaining seven ASTRAY model pilots fuming, almost livid at their controls. They move in fast now to deny the ECLIPSE the chance to throw the whirling blades out again, and Dei understands their intent. The CRESCENT blades combine into the short, twin-blade beam edged curved swords with a metallic sound and Dei brandishes them threateningly. The Orb pilots are not impressed and press on. The melee starts wildly, the seven Orb mobile suits slightly hampered for a while by their numbers because they cannot all simply rush at the ECLIPSE. Dei fights like a cornered rodent, mainly parrying but also slashing with both hands and managing to disable another ASTRAY with a lucky sweep. The large CRESCENT shields with the new colloid particle beam shields are proving to be quite effective against beam sabers as well; to the surprise of many Orb pilots the beam sabers start to twist, turning in odd angles whenever they are close to the particles emitted by the shields. This makes hitting the ECLIPSE rather difficult. One ASTRAY finds a solution to the problem and fires its CIWS guns at the GUNDAM, hardly damaging it but still wearing down the armor. Another stabs down with its beam saber, slashing through the support craft the ECLIPSE was standing on. The craft blows up just as Dei detaches it from the feet of the GUNDAM, the explosion momentarily giving him some room. Dei throws one of the blades into the air, takes out a beam boomerang and lets it fly, taking out another ASTRAY from the middle. However, yet another ASTRAY moves in and Dei cannot catch the tossed blade. Dei quickly reaches behind the mobile suit and takes out the heavy combat knife stored there, still battling the ASTRAYs off with both hands. The support craft, gone Dei needs to concentrate more on keeping the suit in the air but currently he has his hands full fighting off the ASTRAYs, so he simply drops down to the ground. The ground groans as a multi-ton mobile suit breaks the asphalt it landed on, and is quickly followed by all but one of the ASTRAYs. One Shrike ASTRAY stays in the air, trying to find a chance to either shoot at the ECLIPSE from a vulnerable angle, or simply drop on it to tie it down. Dei is sweating at the controls, and softly whimpering, sensing his predicament deepening. Killing off a few Orb suits benefited him nothing in the long run, it seems. Again one of the ASTRAYs shoves its beam saber at the ECLIPSE, which moves its right shield slightly to make the beam turn away. The ASTRAY pilot, angry and wanting to get payback doesn’t seem to mind but simply shoves the beam in deeper, hoping to penetrate the cloud of particles on the shield surface. Dei increases the flow of colloid particles, which in turn requires a lot more battery power, but he figures he can use the time the particles protect him think up something that would enable him to survive a beam saber pushed into the cockpit. Then an idea hits him. Of course the ECLIPSE doesn’t have a similar plasma heating backpack as the INFERNO, but the colloid particles are very versatile. Dei takes out the keyboard and types very fast, reprogramming something. While doing this his evasions become even slower, and the ASTRAYs land small hits on the GUNDAM with their beam sabers on spots they find, one saber even grazing at the side of the cockpit, damaging one instrument which rains sparks over Dei. Dei looks up quick, seeing the Shrike ASTRAY with the beam rifle above him taking aim. The other ASTRAY pilots notice that the air around the ECLIPSE starts to shimmer, not knowing that a huge concentration of colloid particles has been released. The Dei glances at the energy gauge, worried, since it is now visibly dropping, but he doesn’t want to get too low, nor does he want to let the colloid particles dissipate. The ASTRAYs on the ground get more careful, but the Shrike ASTRAY has found an angle that would blow away the head of the ECLIPSE. The camera zooms on its beam rifle barrel.]
---
[The camera cuts to the ECLIPSE, still in the middle of the ASTRAYs, but releasing huge quantities of colloid particles into the air around it. The ASTRAY above the ECLIPSE lines its beam rifle at the head of the GUNDAM and fires. Dei makes the GUNDAM evade slightly to the side and then closes his eyes inside the cockpit, shuts his main cameras, and draws the shields in as close as they can, doing the mobile suit equivalent of the “duck and cover” –move. The beam rifle round just misses the ECLIPSE as the colloid particles distorts its path and then disappears with a fizzle. An electrical flash outlines the sphere of the particles in the air. A small ball of light washes over the ASTRAYs, the mobile suits thrown to the ground and against buildings, clambering and falling over.]
ASTRAY pilot: Aaaagh! I’m blind! I can’t see! I can’t see!!
[The pilot looking directly into the blast found that his retinas were washed clean by the white light. Similarly monitors and sensors all show static or nothing at all, circuits roasted by the flash on most ASTRAYs. The Shrike ASTRAY that was hovering above the ECLIPSE lands without grace, its Shrike backpack malfunctioning. The pilot ejects it, and blinks furiously. From his vantage point he wasn’t facing the blast directly. The blast, despite the shockwave it sent, wasn’t hot as much as blinding. The landed ASTRAY pilot rubs his eyes, seeing with blurred eyes as a figure in front of his mobile suit stands back up. The camera moves outside and shows the ECLIPSE standing. Faint trails of smoke issue from its seams, but otherwise it seems quite functional. The shields on the shoulders of the GUNDAM have turned completely black. The ECLIPSE picks up its blade and combat knife from the ground and the ASTRAY pilot frantically gets out the beam saber. He gets it out but it dies right in his hand as the combat knife smashes his cockpit in, and the beam blade carves out a chunk of the front chassis. Dei pushes the ASTRAY over and picks up the beam saber from the ground. After a few trials the beam saber lights up as Dei finds a way to direct energy to it. And a quick move on his part allows him to avoid a couple of beams fired at him by a group of approaching M3 ENFORCER ASTRAY models. The UPA shows have detached from the ARCHANGEL’s group and are eager to have a go at the GUNDAM. The mobile suits around him are still quite incapacitated, but still moving about, sensors blind. Dei takes a good look around him.]
Dei: Oh come on! Are you that eager to see me die?
[Dei looks frantically at the clutter he made of the Orb building. He takes out the map of Orb facilities, and decides he is not going to go further inland to take out their headquarters. Another blast of beams makes him dodge out of the way. The ENFORCERs with Aile packs are armed and armored more heavily than the regular ASTRAYs. Dei starts his thrusters, which hesitantly start to give him a steady boost, allowing him to take some altitude. Dei clicks the remaining beam blade up underneath the shield for launch once more. He gets ready to face off against these mobile suits as well. Then the whirling blade discharges by itself and flies off, giving a final glint in the setting sun before it crashes into some buildings further inland. Dei gives a nervous grin. Apparently the ECLIPSE didn’t like being at the centre of a colloid particle flash, and some systems are shot to hell but do not register on the instruments. That being said Dei’s radar however does pick up something. A pair of cruise missiles flying in from the direction of the KRAKEN.]
Dei: Sod this!
[He turns the ECLIPSE around and flees, thruster pressed to the max. The ENFORCERs adjust their course, looking to intercept him before the ECLIPSE reaches the sea, also increasing the output of their thrusters. The camera zooms on the ECLIPSE, fleeing, and further inside the cockpit, zooming at the pilot. Dei looks at his instruments again, seeing the warheads rapidly approaching.]
Dei: [indignant, yet ignorant] Bastards could’ve waited until I get out of the way!
[The camera fades out on his face.]

Dei needs a little attention, so I'm giving it to him here. Alright, as you were.

[Antares]

Rescued from the brink of getting bumped to page two!
For this occasion, I shall bring you Episode 31 - End of An Act. I have to confess myself that this is a fairly dialogue-heavy episode aiming to explain the current (political) situation in the fic as well as offer some minimal depth to characters introduced. Sadly I was unable to fit some of these themes into more action-filled episodes to lessen the cumbersome air this episode has. There are a few funny bits though, so I hope you can bear with me a little longer. Here is a short excerpt:

Satama: Who is this Abertes, general? What is this force he commands that the UPA and Orb even together seem to be unable to stop?
[Sanders tries to formulate a fitting answer, but before he does, Satama continues.]
Satama: You can be sure these are questions that will be brought up in the convention. It is better that you can think about these things and order them in your head correctly. [adds, to himself] Or at least lie convincingly.
Sanders: [pauses, then shrugs] General Abertes is a brilliant young officer. He is one of those who got promoted very quickly when the Logos affair within the Atlantic Federation was discovered. He was not directly linked, so when those above him were indicted and forced to resign if not already dead, he, like many other men, got promotions. Many of them promoted past their skills or aptitude to lead. But Abertes seemed quite adept at handling small tactical squadrons. He was given certain liberties to run special operations.
Satama: And one of those special operations outfitted him with a ship far beyond anything we have in our fleet.
Sanders: [temper flares] Yes, because the treaty restricts our fleet size and weaponry! It dictates what we can do within our sovereign territory. If we had more resources we would not need to build ships in secret.
Satama: [casually pointing out] And that ship was given to a man who launched a nuclear assault on Orb with no apparent regard for anything or anyone. [sighs] You may find the current treaty very restrictive, but can you blame anyone given our track record? Could you blame the Coordinators for wanting to launch a genocidal war against us? After all we’ve done? Who started all this? We did, when we nuked Junius 7? Or was it something that happened earlier? It is meaningless for us to point fingers now. The fact is that the acts of Abertes have morally bankrupted us again, and we need to show we’re humbled.
Sanders: [voice rising] Are you going to beg?
Satama: No, not beg, but plead. Plead for help. We need help to get through this current division that has breached the EDF. We are lucky no country sided with the insurgents. It shows how politically weak they are.
[Sanders is thankful that the discussion has moved back to something he can contribute to and not just get talked down to.]
Sanders: And militarily. We can crush their forces if we can regroup in time. We can clean our own mess.
Satama: [matter-of-factly] Some people on Orb might think it is a little late for that.
Sanders: You are the diplomat. I am the soldier. We both wish to see the EDF to survive this crisis. You handle the talking, and I’ll handle the rebels.
Satama: Agreed. I don’t see any other way we could handle this. Speaking of the military, I would like you to send our escorts away. We will need no escorts when we arrive in Orb. [at Sanders’ shocked expression] It will show our trust in them. They might find the gesture empty, but at least it is there. [pause, leans in] I think those mobile suits are more critically needed with the fleet moving in to surround JOSH-B.
Sanders: [grudgingly] You have a point. Very well, I will dispatch them momentarily. Are you sure your fellow council members will not object?
Satama: [grins mirthlessly] The less they see soldiers around them right now, the better. But there are several things we still need to discuss. I need to know as much as I can about the force we’re dealing with. I want to know what kind of damage they can do, and what kind of plan, if any, they might still have at this point. The more information I have, the more I can divulge at my discretion to convince the UPA and Orb we’re sincere in our apology. [rubs his wobbly chin] And then, general, you will prove our resolve by crushing the insurgents thoroughly. There will be no amnesty given to them. At this point it is either us, or them. And I say we are worthier of carrying out the legacy of humanity.
[Sanders is slightly taken aback by the cold determination behind Satama’s words. To him it was a tone of voice unfamiliar in the presence of the man.]
Sanders: Very well. For the future of the EDF.

The Q&A has been updated as usual. Also see BLASTER GUNDAM profile, for which Red Zaku has kidnly donate a piece of graphic. I hesitate to call it fanart since I don't know if he is a fan. To others, please read and comment!

[Antares]

I decided to be a bit productive suddenly. I have entered my own contribution to Folken Fanel's fanfic contest. My original story ran just a bit too long (250+ words over) and I had to cut it down. I don't like pruning my text too much, so I decided to also put up the slightly longer version up here in my own fanfic thread. It also gives me double-visibility.

But here it is:
Desert Brawl

[The desert sun is scorching the cloudless blue sky. Underneath it, the vastness of the Sahara Desert is seemingly endless. A rocky plateau marks the landscape though, as a solitary item of interest the eye can fixate on. Drawing the eye in, the plateau grows larger. Its edge is marked with several deep crevasses, some as large as actual canyons. And it is in one of these canyons that we find a most peculiar battlefield. The canyon ends in a round bend, wide on both sides and littered with fallen rock. After the battle of Odessa, the Federation Forces pushed into Africa driving back Zeon forces. Seeing a small detachment of Zeon mobile suits stumble into the canyon in the hopes of riding out the offensive, a captain of a Federation mobile suit company had ordered a small squad to go in an annihilate the cowardly space monkeys. Overly confident, the Feddies had walked into the ambush the opportunistic Zeon commander had set up. In the ensuing firefight the Feddies lost both of their Desert GMs and their GM Cannon was damaged. Only the RX-79[G] Gundam was left in full operational capacity. However, the Zeons lost their commander to a lucky shot into the cockpit by one of the downed Desert GMs, and were now rather unwilling to move. One Feddie pilot of the Desert GM has scrambled over to the impromptu rocky barricade his comrades had formed, leaving the Feddies with two MSs and three pilots, while the Zeons still had two MS-06D Desert Zaku and a lone MS-06K Zaku Cannon. Both sides realized that trying to flee the scene through the bottleneck of the canyon would be suicide. They could only escape with the opposition left in ruins. The Zeons were starting to get nervous due to lack of water and loss of radio contact with their own forces.]

MS-06K pilot: [panting] We’ve been here for two days now. I haven’t had a drop of water since this morning.

MS-06D pilot#1: Shut it, Derrick. The commander has the water tank on the back of his Dowage.

Derrick: [whines] But we can’t get to it. That Gundam of theirs will pick us off with its beam rifle if we leave cover.

[The devastating effect of the loss of their commander becomes more acute in these desperate straits with little water, trapped behind enemy lines in the desert. On the other side of the canyon end the Federation pilots also converse. The pilot of the Gundam is sitting at the open hatch of his MS, feet tangling over the edge. The pilot of the GM Cannon is using a field repair kit to fix the damaged ankle of his MS. He can do little about the shaft of steel that went into the main optical sensors, though. The aiming computer of the GM Cannon is pretty much useless. The surviving GM pilot fans himself with his hand in the shadow of the kneeling Gundam.]

Gundam pilot: I still have some water in the tanks. The GMs are so riddled that theirs has probably leaked and evaporated by now though.

GM Cannon pilot: [grins wolfishly] I bet those Zeeks are feeling the thirst a bit more acutely than we are.

Gundam pilot: Losing their commander was the only stroke of luck we had. They’ve completely defensive ever since. Their Zaku Cannon could easily try to collapse the rockface behind us on us. The canyon wall behind them is too far for us to try to do the same.

Desert GM pilot: [to the Gundam pilot] Thomas, you got any ideas?

Thomas: [furrows his brow] The beam rifle will overheat in an instance in these conditions. Damn, I knew I should taken some old fashioned hardware. [muses a moment] The only thing I can think of is to wait a little longer and see if we can get the Zeeks do something stupid. [leans down, calling to the pilot of the Cannon] Reilly! How is it going?

Reilly: [grunts] I can move the thing but I can’t aim worth crap, sir.

Desert GM pilot: [yawns, the heat making him drowsy] Not that it would make in difference with your accuracy anyway.

[Before Reilly can respond, Thomas barks at them both.]

Thomas: Reilly and Ohlbert, can that attitude right now! I just said we need to wait for the Zeeks to crack, not for you two to start bickering like kids!

[Admonished, the two pilots go into a sullen silence. Shouting brings a bit of a sweat on Thomas’s face, and he squint up at the merciless sun, as if laughing at his demands for cooler heads to prevail. Thomas scowls down at the other end of the canyon, where the Zeeks are pricking their ears to hear more of the altercation.]

Derrick: I didn’t catch that. [to MS-06D pilot#1] Howie?

Howie: No. It echoes too much in here. [wipes sweat from his brow, leaving a smudge of dirt] God it is hot.

Derrick: Why isn’t Halpern coming out of his MS? The thing must be an oven.

Howie: He said he has to stand guard if the Feddies try something.

Derrick: He has been in there for four hours. If the Feddies make a move we can hear them before we can see them.

Howie: [shrugs] That’s what he said.

[Inside his Desert Zaku, Halpern is licking his chapped lips. He is mumbling to himself, clearly not paying much attention to the sensors.]

Halpern: Can’t sleep or the Feddies will kill me. They killed my dad. They killed my brother at Odessa. They’ll kill me too if I let them. I have to kill them. I have to kill them now. Kill them before they kill me.

[The eye sensor of the Zaku moves with a mechanic sound, and Howie and Derrick look at it curiously.]

Howie: [cups his hands in front of his mouth] Hey Halpern! What’re you doing, man?

[As a muted response, Halpern’s Zaku picks up its machine gun from the sand and stands up, its backpack giving a rising whine.]

Derrick: Holy crap, he is taking off!

[Howie and Derrick both scramble inside their cockpits, closing the hatches and activating their systems, left offline to cool their suits during the day. They are hopelessly behind Halpern though, whose suit is up and ready. The boosters fire a short burst and the Zaku clears the barricade of boulders and opens fire right away with its machine gun, complementing fire with its head-mounted vulcans. The first bullets hit the Feddies’ stone cover as the Zaku hasn’t cleared enough height. The Feddies are surprised, but quick to react. Ohlbert looks around himself in sudden fear, realizing he is the only one not protected by armor as Reilly’s adrenaline-rush propels him to jump and drag himself in a few seconds through the hatch of his kneeling GM Cannon. Thomas, on the other hand, flips onto his feet, and leaps into his cockpit, activating the systems that have only been in sleep-mode. The eyes of the Gundam flash as the systems are activated, and the Gundam has just enough time to pick up the shield from the ground and hold it up against the pressure of impacting machine gun rounds. Ohlbert scrambles into a small hole between the rocks of their barricade and crawls in. The constant fire is making the airborne Zaku fall to the side, but Halpern could care little less, having fixated on the Gundam and emptying the clip in the obsessed hope that the shield will break. The rounds do also scrape the Gundam everywhere around the shield, riddling the right leg in particular. Thomas doesn’t much care for that, being more interested in keeping his cockpit and the sensors of his Gundam intact. Halpern depletes his current clip, and reaches for a new one. Using this moment of respite, Thomas now also picks up the beam rifle, thankfully unharmed, and aims it at the airborne Zaku. A single beam round smashes to the side of the Zaku, clipping it so bad that the suit turns face down, and the jet pack propels the Zaku right into the rockface of the canyon with a metallic crunch. The Zaku rolls down the wall and lands in a heap of metal at its foot. Thomas gives a short breath of relief, but is immediately informed that the right leg of his Gundam is broken and cannot sustain weight. The best it can do right now is to keep the MS upright in its kneeling position.]

Thomas: Reilly! You need to countercharge them right away! Make them lose their courage!

Reilly: [over the radio] I’ll try!

[The GM Cannon stands up straight only to see the Zaku Cannon stand up as well behind its own barricade, and the remaining Desert Zaku boost over the barricade for a running attack at the Feddies, machine gun already spewing bullets. Seeing as the Gundam cannot be of any help, Reilly chews on his bottom lip for a second before pushing his GM Cannon up and over the barricade. Without an accurate targeting computer, Reilly has little chance other than bring the GM into close distance. The Zaku Cannon unwittingly does the GM Cannon a favor by blowing a piece of the barricade off with a cannon round, making the GM Cannon stumble down and causing the Zaku to overshoot with its machine gun. In the Zaku’s cockpit Howie shifts his aim lower, intent on the target. A flash in the corner of his eye makes his come to a screeching halt and dodge to the side however, as a beam saber flies spinning past. The Gundam is leaning on the barricade, standing on one foot, and threw one of its beam sabers directly from the rack at the Zaku. Derrick in the controls of the Zaku Cannon switches immediately to target the Gundam, which uses its beam rifle quicker to force the Zaku Cannon to dodge behind the barricade. Slightly disoriented, Howie also turns his attention to the Zaku. Blind to most of this, the GM Cannon scrambles to its feet, Reilly only seeing the fuzzy side-profile of the Desert Zaku in front of it. The movement is caught by Howie, who turns his Zaku around, the machine gun tracing bullets around the GM, up until the moment the barrel of the GM’s cannon clangs against the Zaku’s chest armor.]

Reilly: [smirks] Found you.

[The devastating cannon of the GM fires at close range, peeling the barrel of the cannon like a banana, but also in effect blowing the upper torso of the Zaku into bits. The GM stumbles to the ground again, systems short-circuiting. Derrick in the Zaku Cannon realizes he is alone now, and cries out in fear and frustration, and shoots randomly with all weapons of the Cannon in the general direction of the two Feddie mobile suits. A cannon shot cracks the barricade next to the Gundam, causing the rocks to move from under its supporting arm. Thomas tries to compensate, but ends up tilting the Gundam over, and it falls on its back, albeit in the relative cover of the barricade. But then the two rockets the Zaku Cannon launches screech out and hit the rockface above the Gundam, and a single huge boulder detaches itself and falls down. Thomas can see the rock come in, and tries to get the hands up in defense, but in vain. The boulder crashes down on the head and upper torso of the Gundam, smashing the cockpit in and killing the pilot. The Zaku Cannon keeps on firing at the position of the Gundam, not knowing that it is down for good already. Reilly drags his GM Cannon on one side, and grabs a machine gun dropped by one of the GM Desert types previously downed. He takes aim and fires. The holes drill themselves around, and finally into, the Zaku Cannon. Quietly the Zaku Cannon topples forward and then blows up as its remaining ammunition detonates. The walls of the canyon are filled with small screes of sliding pebbles, and dust momentarily blocks visibility. The GM Cannon remains barely upright on its side, Reilly waiting breathlessly for any other noises. His sensors shot, he gets no warning. A short burst of machine gun fire is heard and blood splatters the side of Reilly’s cockpit. Halperns’s near-demolished Zaku, thought wrecked, lets its machine gun barrel sink into the sand. In the cockpit Halpern coughs blood to his chest, and cackles. The systems of the Zaku blink and fizzle around him.]

Halpern: Got you. You never got me.

[Halpern gives his death rattle and expires. For a good half an hour the canyon is deadly silent. Only then Ohlbert crawls out from under the rocks, and surveys the area, panting hard. He is startled suddenly by a thought, and he sprints over to each downed MS. From the Gundam he straightens up, and sobs, barely audibly. All the water is gone. The Gundam is crushed, and its tanks ruptured. All the Zeon suits are completely demolished. The riddled GM Cannon has very little water to begin with. The firefight had caused the Dowage to spill all its remaining water on the sand as well, which had greedily sucked it all in, leaving only moist sand in its wake. All the MS are down and beyond repair. There is no way Ohlbert can hope to make it back to his own forces alive unless someone stumbles on this forgotten, forlorn battleground. Ohlbert slumps down on the sand. The sun is very hot today.]

--
Cough. Vote. Cough.

[Ravager]

Dude, i thought they made a thread for you to submit this kinda stuff. Read it and found it makes a nice kill em' all kind of short story. Only gripe i have is about the Ground Type Gundam as portrayed in this story. It has Gundarium armor which is resilient to Zaku MG rounds and falling boulders.

[Antares]

Thanks for your comments, Ravager. I liked this longer version better so that's why I decided to publish that one as well. The short version is submitted in the actual fanfic competition thread as my real entry.
I like kill'em all -style stories in the UC timeline, so that was what I was going for here as well. According to MAHQ profile, the Ground Type isn't armored with gundarium but lunar titanium alloy, and using 08th MS Team as reference, I thought the damage given would be technically valid. Oh well, can't get it all right.

[CHASER]

If I'm not mistaken, Luna Titanium was renamed Gundarium after the OYW after the RX-78-2 Gundam that was also made from it. Well, I think so.

I liked the little short story too, and it seemed that the paranoid pilot messed things up for his team. As the crazy ones usually do. Keep up the good work~

[Ravager]

Luna Titanium is Gundarium. Everything Chaser said is true. It is very resilient against slug-thrower weapons and other non beam weapons. That is why i find it odd that a few ricocheting rounds hitting the leg can render it useless.

[Antares]

That is why i find it odd that a few ricocheting rounds hitting the leg can render it useless.

Perhaps I wasn't clear enough. See, the Gundam was kneeling when the Zaku started firing. The leg thrust forward was exposed when Thomas wanted to protect first and foremost the head and the torso from damage. The exposed leg got direct hits from the fire, and I've always thought UC weaponry as shown in 08th Team would be a bit easier to damage than, say, CE PSA. But nevertheless I guess I let the Gundam just go down too quick. On the other hand, I didn't want to stretch out the fight any further, so it served its purpose.

[Ravager]

Yes, i don't think i want to argue such technicalities when it can detract from the goodness of the story. I don't mind such things, as long as it ain't too blatant

[Antares]

Oh dear. I seem to be sticked now. There has been a brief lull in both writing and publishing, since, as usual, RL makes unreasonable demands at me at times. Best to start producing text. *runs off to produce text*

[Ravager]

What does it mean to be stickied?

[Antares]

My fanfic thread is stickied, which is what I meant. I has that nice sticky-symbol in front of it, which means it cannot be bumped from the main page for some time. So you're stuck seeing this thread up here for a few months.

You could offer some content in the form of comments/opinions, maybe? I will then promise to offer some content in the form of, well, content.

[Antares]

And here is some fresh stuff. Thanks to CHASER for finding the time to proof-read this even while he writing his own fic (go see it!). Episode 32 - Clarity features quite a lot of flashbacks, and it also ends the second storyarch (17-32). Episode 33 will also include a new opening scene. But all in all episode 32's purpose is to give for life to the background, hopefully make the world of the fic a more interesting and some characters and their motives more understandable. Link ups with GSD are rather common, but so is intertextuality because I get a real kick out of it (giggling to myself like a retard when I write).

Without further ado, here are the excerpts from episode 32; the first one shows the rift inside the EDF escalate into an all-out civil war (note: within the military, not so much within the general populace), and the second excerpt links up with GSD (and even UC!) to give some badly needed AF/EA-love.

[The camera cuts away again, still staying on Earth but not much lighter. The air is heavy with an outpouring tropical rain, which makes visibility very low. The camera moves downwards from the dark grey sky to show the green of jungle. In the middle of the greenery, a few flashes of green beam fire are seen. As the camera zooms in closer, it becomes apparent that not all rebel forces have retreated to Alaska. Three DAGGER Ls are pinned down on top of a small hill, covered with dense forests. Several old model STRIKE DAGGERs are carefully trying to move in, avoiding the more efficient beams on the newer machines.]
DAGGER L pilot: [to his comrades] Goddamn it! We’re stuck here!
DAGGER L pilot#2: I told you we should have left already!
DAGGER L pilot: [snarling] I have family here! No way am I going to leave them here! I need to get them! [desperate] My son will be beaten to death as the child of a traitor!
[The pilot of the second DAGGER L turns to give an angry retort, but is cut short when a STRIKE DAGGER emerges from the fluttering wall of fog and rain, and rams its beam saber through the cockpit of the rogue DAGGER L. The pilot screeches as the crackling energy engulfs him and his mobile suit keels over, rain hissing over the molten hull. The other rogue pilots turn to the newcomer, enraged, but then the third one is clipped on the shoulder by a shower of machine gun fire, and it also goes down, sputtering and crumbling against the trees. The lone remaining second pilot looks around him, as the DAGGERs converge on him, beam sabers drawn and shields front. He drops his beam rifle, and pulls out the beam saber. And charges them, screaming. The camera retreats a mile into the air and only a small explosion can be seen in the middle of the greenery as the scream stops. Fade out.]
--
[Abertes’ flashback, colored slightly grey and sounds echoing. As the camera zooms away from his eye, his face has changed into a younger version, but with the uniform (though with less decorations) back on. He turns around, flustered.]
Abertes: I am sorry, general what was that again?
[A younger version of Sanders is smoking a cigar, apparently in the middle of dictating some order. He takes the cigar out of his mouth and frowns.]
Sanders: Lieutenant, haven’t you been paying attention? This is not a task for people who cannot hold onto their thoughts. [admonishing tone] I am sure you were told that beforehand.
Abertes: I am sorry sir. [pause] Honestly, my imagination got the better of me.
Sanders: [face softening] The mobile suit will be the weapon for your generation. I doubt I will get to see them in action. And happy I am for that, as an old-fashioned army man. [pause] I suppose it is only natural for you to show such interest. [sighs] The mobile suit will be our savior. The spacenoids are getting more arrogant by the day.
Abertes: You really think there will be a war between Naturals and Coordinators?
Sanders: [eyes his cigar] I think it will be inevitable. There haven’t been long periods of peace in mankind’s history, especially when you have one group of people that has a clear advantage over the other.
Abertes: [jumps to a conclusion] And that is why we must destroy the spacenoids. Because they are unnatural?
Sanders: [extinguishes the cigar] Yes, well. Many people have made that claim when they have sought out to exterminate others not like them. I fear an evolutionary conflict will take place sooner or later.
Abertes: [remembering] For a clear blue Earth? I think I’ve heard something like that recently?
Sanders: [grunts] It is something some of the younger officers are saying. [to himself] And a few older ones too. [pause] There is an organization called Blue Cosmos which very vocally demands that Earth will be left for Naturals only.
Abertes: But leaving the Coordinators to rule space, where can we go? I have a right to space travel just as they do.
[Sanders starts to answer something, but it becomes indistinct as the image and sound both wane slowly. An eye fills the screen, and it blinks. Sound and video return, and the image returns to Sanders and Abertes. The uniform of the latter is more decorated now, and he has been promoted. Sanders has aged more in his face than Abertes. They are walking inside a military establishment somewhere.]
Sanders: Well, major. You seem to be doing quite well.
Abertes: [can’t help but smile] Yes sir. It seems my capabilities are quite appreciated in special operations. [glances over to Sanders] Thank you for the recommendation, sir.
Sanders: [dismissively] I only did what I felt was right. You have a brilliant mind, and you can become an outstanding officer.
[They both walk in silence for a moment.]
Abertes: What do you think of the space embargo declared by PLANT?
Sanders: [snorts angrily] The spacenoids think that they can call the shots now. Just because so many people are moving to their colonies they have doubled their so called security forces.
Abertes: Let them go. The people who are willing to go there are the kind we don’t want anyway.
Sanders: [nods, glances at Abertes] Did you get the recent intelligence report from orbital satellites?
Abertes: [shakes his head] I am not on the list yet.
Sanders: Well that has to be fixed. [lowers his voice] You haven’t heard then that the spacenoids have drafted plans to drop a colony on Earth?
Abertes: [almost trips over his own legs] What?!
Sanders: It seems that a few extreme elements in their ruling council have suggested outfitting a colony to be dropped on Earth in case they feel threatened.
Abertes: Surely the trade negotiations are not that critical to them? That would be insane! Monstrous! Lord knows how many people would die!
Sanders: I don’t think the Coordinators have a god to speak of, so they have no one to answer to. It is unlikely, but it is something the Atlantic Federation cannot dismiss as a threat.
Abertes: I take it this knowledge is not freely distributed?
Sanders: Heavens, no. Chaos, pandemonium. [pause] And there are ways to counter something like that.
Abertes: You can’t be talking about that huge solar panel laser –thingy?
Sanders: [a bark of laugh] Let the eggheads dream of such things. Remember when I said I was a traditional military man? [at Abertes’ nod] We’re shipping nukes to the Moon.
[This time Abertes is not very surprised at this anymore. He only nods approvingly.]
Abertes: It will be difficult. Military transports can be scanned by Coordinator ships that just “happen” to be there.
Sanders: That is why we’re using commercial transports. [to Abertes’ surprised expression] There is a small group of businessmen, who share our interests. They have offered their assistance. [shrugs] They’re not much unlike Blue Cosmos, actually, except they are not shooting people in the street.
Abertes: [laughs lightly at the comment] Ah. Concerned citizens. That is good news. I hear the military budget is stretched as it is, and the mobile suit project is almost at a standstill.
Sanders: [waves his hand dismissively] A few scientists from Orb have shown interest, so it is possible to circumvent ordinary funding.
[Sanders glances at his watch and shakes his head.]
Sanders: I have to go to a meeting in five minutes. [clasps Abertes’ shoulder] It was good to talk to you. I’ll make sure you get on the right lists so I don’t have to tell you about every new development myself.
[They shake hands, and Abertes walks off to a different direction. Abertes goes down a flight of stairs, and then stops at a nondescript door. He knocks twice, and is admitted in. There is a group of young officers in the room (Abertes’ age), and a civilian lounging in an armchair. Muruta Azrael leans forward now that Abertes has arrived.]
Azrael: Welcome, major. Or should I say, colonel?
Abertes: [pleasantly surprised] You got me promoted?
Azrael: [shrugs expansively] Well, I am a man of many means. And I always keep my word to those loyal to a clear blue Earth.
[As he says this, his face takes a more sinister, darker look (dramatic effect). Abertes sits down opposite to him and the other officers also take their places. One of them, about Abertes’ age but with fewer decorations again, is wearing shades despite the general gloom in the room. A younger version of captain Johann Vries sits down.]
Abertes: As a show of my allegiance, I have something to tell you. Something that I only just heard. And something that will need to be addressed quickly. Something has happened in Heliopolis…
[The sound and image again fade to the background, and the eye returns, and blinks. As the camera zooms out, it has returned to Abertes in his cell, end flashback.]

You managed to read through that? Whoa. Excellent. Now go read more at GSP main site as usual.

[Antares]

Oh Lord I am so slow. I hope to get something up soon. My only defense is that I've also written up new stuff, so the project is not in a complete standstill. But to make this thread a bit more exciting, I decided to give room for a little competition if people are interested.

This is the deal: As those who've read to the end of episode 32 know, Kira spent a short stint with the Junk Guild to gain passage to PLANT. Now, this period was deliberately left out in the fic (GSP MSV, as CHASER put it ). You can correct that problem by allowing Kira to design a Junk Guild mobile suit! It has to look salvaged, and preferably combines many parts from different MS. You can also try to sneak in UC pieces and see if they're spotted.

The meager reward for the best (or only?) entry in this competition is to have a fanservice-request. Within limits, of course, I am not going to kill off someone earlier. But if you like a name, or some other reference, that will be done. Please post your entries into this thread by August 1st.

And if you don't feel like drawing, other comments are also welcome. Try to stick with me.

[CHASER]

*Shocked* You send out a challenge to distract me from writing!

>.>

<.<

Would this qualify?

Maybe I should have posted that in my topic a while back.

[Antares]

Yes, Jimmy Carr is my name and Distraction is my game!

Excellent, CHASER! I think that will do very nicely, but it looks so much like an end-product mecha that you should give some background info on how it is a Junker salvage mecha or design upgrade (on the Strike?). That also goes for other entries from other contestatnts (if any); please give some background on how you visualize Kira slapping on a Junker MS.

[Antares]

Here you are kid sirs and madams, Episode 33 - Kira of Gundam Seed Phoenix. Enjoy, I think it is one of the better episodes I've written (I still think I am ahead of GSD in the ratio of good vs. bad episodes in total.. although that is not a major feat as such ). Lots of stuff happening, some new hardware thrown out and so on. It also starts off the third story arch of the fic, which necessitates a new opening! Which I will paste right here:

GUNDAM SEED PHOENIX – Opening III

The third opening starts with the Earth in the background, with no sound. Then a soft, rising music comes up, and one singular star to the right of Earth flares. And flashes out. Then five others follow it in rapid pace, the music pausing. The steady drumbeat starts and the flashes turn out to be mobile suits, streaking past the camera, the first one chased by the five others. As the first one goes past the camera, it is immediately revealed to be the STRIKE FREEDOM, which twirls and turns as the five others chase right after it. The five others are in order, INFINITE JUSTICE, SOLARIS, FURY, DESTINY and a dark GUNDAM with a heavy backpack with wings on it, somehow a cross between the PROVIDENCE and FREEDOM. The camera goes to the wild flips of the STRIKE FREEDOM, as it summersaults, and then fires all its weapons at random directions. Still the image, and superimposed on this is the series title.

The opening sequence is followed by the compulsory introductions. Sliding from right to left is Athrun in his flight suit, looking downwards grimly. Sliding from left to right is Kira in his flight suit, looking forward anxiously. As their backs touch, both raise their heads to gaze up. In the background on Kira’s side Lacus sits on the captain’s chair of a ship in her customary garb, and on Athrun’s side Cagalli is leaning over a desk, slamming her fist into it, wearing Orb uniform with UPA markings. A SEED drops from the top of the screen to shatter above Kira and Athrun.

The next scene has the Hammer cast lined up from Shinn in the forefront, left, the rest retreating backwards to more shadows with shoulders in line. The faces fade in at their place one by one. In the background there is one half of Kildare’s asteroid fortress and the GRIFFIN, and one half of LeCavalier’s asteroid headquarters and the GONDWANA carrier. Shinn’s face is angry, behind him is Yzak, in a similar pose, behind him is Voltaire’s arrogant grin, while Nina’s is hostile and turned to the side. On the right LeCavalier stands in a commanding pose, right arm outstretched and mouth open, and in the right lower corner Kildare, shrugging as if she couldn’t really care. The background moves slightly with mobile suits and asteroids, which get suddenly hit by beam fire and blow up.

The following scene in turn gives the ZAFT cast, this time with the main cast lining up from the right diagonally to the back, and the backdrop is the PLANT colonies. The setting is the mirror opposite of that of the Hammer’s. Lining up is Styx, in his flight suit with his helmet tucked under his arm, saluting. Behind him are Hel and Janus, the prior wearing her customary half-mask, smiling disconcertedly. Lazarr is in the left front, with a pondering poise, chin supported by his palm, behind him Daelon in a triumphant glee. Behind them all, in the background, the PRISM of PLANT fires, and its light engulfs the screen.

The fourth introductory scene has the rogue EDF troop, again in the similar way as the Hammer’s crew. The background is Alaska, white blizzard. In the forefront this time is Vries, followed by Chiiro, Dei, Mahadi, and Viktor. Vries wears his shades, and has his forefinger up; Chiiro is sulking, looking away. Dei turns to the camera, as if startled, while Mahadi stares straight into it with a wooden expression. You cannot see much of Viktor, whose hair has again dropped to cover most of his face, and his headphones only partially visible. The duo in the front is predictably Locke and Kofu in full uniform, both looking in opposite directions with determination. In the background a score of beams vaporizes the snowfall, and then a sudden explosion ensues, blowing away the cast.

The fifth introduction shows the VALKYRIE blasting past the camera, the VALHALLA weapons module blazing beam fire into an asteroid belt. On the bridge Murrue Ramius, Fred Frost and Arthur Trine stand in various poses, all three in neat uniform. Arthur looks nervous as usual, Ramius stands in front of the captain’s chair, and Fred is standing with his arms to his chest, looking at the camera slightly from the side. The camera moves in front of the ship, where the SOLARIS and two HAWK ENFORCERs drop into a triangle in front of the ship with the SOLARIS in the middle, facing the camera. Split screened from left to right, Jerry, Kurogawa, and Ash. The mobile suits spin away, and the VALKYRIE moves forward, blasting away with both engines and weapons. Behind it trails the ARCHANGEL with a similar case assembly on the bridge. Here the cast comprises of Andrew Waldfeld, Miriallia Haww, Lunamaria Hawke and Shiho Hahnenfluss. Only Miriallia wears her uniform, all the rest have their flight suits on. Andy is standing and gives a two-finger salute, Milly is seated, intent on the CIC, Lunamaria looks out with a worried expression, but seems less intent than Shiho, who shows an Yzak-esque pout.

The following scenes are more rapid-paced. The camera starts with the next setting which has an old-fashioned regular revolving colony satellite in the middle, and the camera spins around it to stop facing three GUNDAMs standing on its hull. The one in the middle is the dark one with the winged backpack, and it is flanked by two others in black-and-white motif, stances practically identical yet mirrored. They scene is split screened above the heads of the mobile suits, are the helmeted faces of Janus and Hel on the sides, and again in the middle a man with his helmet visor darkened so his face cannot be seen, with a flame and a bird styled on his black and white helmet.

In the following one Shiho spins and screams an order, and a hull of a ship gets sliced by an incoming beam. The ECLIPSE uses its thrusters to make it into the air and spins sideways, throwing both of its beam blades whirling at the camera in space. The INFERNO stomps a few steps through a blizzard and lets out a huge plume of fire from its left arm, the backpack hissing. A green SWORD CALAMITY lands heavily on snow, and slashes left and right with its beam swords. Then a huge dome of an explosion rises above the horizon. The camera goes to the orbit where the orbital guns activate, one shooting back inside the atmosphere, and others emptying their missile payloads at an unseen attacker. The DAMOCLES and two other ships activate their Mirage Colloid cloak in space. The BLASTER connects its rifles and blasts a ZAKU away. LeCavalier turns to an open door in shock; Voltaire and Nina are intertwined under a sheet, both moving in a very suggestive manner. Daelon pulls out a pistol in a fit of rage, Kildare types fast on a keyboard, barely taking notice of the technical data she is going through.

The next scene has the INFINITE JUSTICE and STRIKE FREEDOM hit against one another, locked in melee, then both turn and the INFINITE JUSTICE is attacked by an improved DUEL, which fires all its weaponry, and the STRIKE FREEDOM in turn is beset by a darker model of the DESTINY, moving with the Wings of Light speed burst. A new type of warship, based on the MINERVA’s design turns in the background, firing a volley of missiles through which a rather large mobile armor streaks with minimal ease. The mobile armor is followed by the FURY, which stops short, the mirages from its wings still fluttering around it, and deploys both of its heavy beam launchers and fires. The HADES swishes past, firing its weapons at the FURY, which is saved in turn by the SOLARIS, which launches its DRAGOONs and takes out its beam edged swords. Blocking the view for this entire battle, in front of the camera, the dark GUNDAM rises from underneath the screen, and fills it, its darkness counteracted by a energy starting to stream to its wings.

The screen cuts away again, with old Moebius mobile armors mounted over nuclear missiles, heading for PLANT. Sanders looks at the sky on Earth, and sees a great darkness above him, and behind him stands Abertes’ ghostly shadow. Cagalli grabs Athrun into a fierce hug in a darkened room, Lacus draws Kira next to her to stand on the bridge of a battleship. Flashes of Fu, Kai, Jerry, Mongoose, Ash, Kurogawa, Lunamaria and Dearka socialising onboard the OUTRIDER, with Dearka in the middle winking and giving a thumb-up. Then Viktor, Dei, Mahadi, Chiiro and Vries onboard the DAMOCLES, being as unsocial as they can. Lazarr standing at a window, looking at PLANT.

The scene changes, in this one Athrun and Cagalli are in their Orb/UPA uniforms, turn around to face the camera but look slightly above it at something, Cagalli worried and Athrun sad, lamenting. Behind them in the background Kira and Lacus wrap their arms around each other and kiss softly. Both are naked from the waist up, but as their bodies are held against each other you can’t see anything naughty from Lacus’ side. Then the scene changes with a quick fade in and out, with Athrun and Cagalli embracing in the background, desperate not to let go. They are also naked from the waist up, and their embrace rotates 360 degrees, showing the turmoil of emotions in both of their eyes. In front Kira in his flight suit slides in from the left, hand extended and from the right slides in Lacus in her official robes. As their hands touch, the scene changes again. The whole screen is covered by Athrun’s face inside his helmet, and he goes into SEED mode, looking grim. This is overset diagonally by Shinn and Kira doing the same thing, yelling angrily yet mutely as they are in the mode. And then they are overset by a pair of blue eyes, going into SEED mode as well. The camera retreats slightly and moves outside the helmet, which visor reflects only the light of the instruments in front of it.

The following scene has the obligatory pilots with GUNDAMs –poses. All displays are fast, only about three seconds. Both the pilot and the background move. First is Yzak superimposed in his Hammer of ZAFT uniform, fist clenched in front of him over a DUEL GOLD, brandishing a new shining shield, and unleashing a barrage of fire from its cannons and missile launchers, beam saber in hand. He is followed by Dearka who is in his flight suit, saluting casually to the camera, smiling, as the BLASTER behind him dodges fire and responds with its connected twin beam rifle. Then follows Styx with his hands crossed in front of his chest, with the FURY behind him twirling and deploying the two heavy beam launchers, firing. Then Chiiro, turning to the side and glancing to the skies, while the ICARUS turns in the opposite direction and fires its head-mounted heavy beam cannon. Dei, looking down from the corner of his eye at Viktor, both pose in front of a zooming close-up of the ECLIPSE and its eyes. Vries, with his shades, lounges casually with his hands in his pockets, the INFERNO painting a wall of fire in front of it. Then Kurogawa, looking angsty in the forefront, with Athrun walking away into the shadows, as the SOLARIS flies onward behind him, beam saber in hand. The HADES fires all its weapons, as Nina slides the zipper of her flight suit seductively downwards (showing very little clothing underneath). A large mobile armor flashes by, and then detaches into two parts, with Hel and Janus under their “respective parts”, and look at one another. Then finally we get to Shinn, arm outstretched in uniform, embracing his destiny. Behind him, his modified DESTINY is zoomed out as it activated its Wings of Light and raises the anti-ship sword into the customary attack pose. The scenes are followed by intensive battle-shot of ships and mobile suits, some of the GUNDAMs doing battle amongst themselves. This followed by STRIKE FREEDOM which shoots in multiple directions, downing ZAFT mobile suits, and INFINITE JUSTICE letting its backpack fly at the dark unknown GUNDAM.

Finally we come to the camera rising from the ground, spinning around Athrun as he faces the wind on a cliff, his eyes straining to meet those of Kira, similarly posing in space. The INFINITE JUSTICE and STRIKE FREEDOM stand next to each other and behind them the ominous dark GUNDAM. The whole cast of people in the lower edge of the screen, still image and overlay title. Fade out, start episode.

It is a long opening, sure, but it also hopefully is the last. We have more than enough to go with here, I think. And also here is an excerpt from the episode:

[The camera zooms further into the Athha family manor and inside it through a window. Athrun Zala is putting on his uniform in a hurry, with a furious Cagalli standing in the background, tapping her foot on the floor impatiently.]
Athrun: [timidly] Look, I had a good reason, if you would just…
Cagalli: [snaps] Shut up! You think you can just fly off if when you feel like it. We’re in the middle serious business here, Athrun! We have a responsibility to the UPA, and a duty.
Athrun: [chastised] Sorry. But if I could…
Cagalli: [angry, pointing with a shaking finger] The only words I want to hear out of you are “Yes, dear.”! I mean grow up, man! You can’t just run off if something catches your eye.
Athrun: [sighs] Yes dear.
[Cagalli keeps going in the background, and Athrun is trying to make himself presentable as fast as he can. He pauses for a second to gaze out through a window, and his reflection is that of Kira’s. Athrun has his flashback, in sepia. Athrun is on the island talking with Malchio. The kids are at the doorway, and Athrun is smiling awkwardly at them, rubbing his ankle.]
Malchio: Please do not mind them.
Athrun: Oh, it is fine. [desperate for information] But you had something to tell me about Kira?
Malchio: [sighs] Yes indeed. Kira Yamato came to my door again in a very peculiar way.
[Malchio’s flashback makes image warbles for a second for dramatic effect. The flashback follows Malchio’s narration, images coordinated with the audio.]
Malchio: It was almost right after the battle in ZAFT. I had not left my island so I could only listen to what my friends told me. Then one night I heard a shuttle come down and crash into the water not far away. I got up and walked to my porch. It was a dark and stormy night. The men in the shuttle were lucky; a trio of local fishermen had taken shelter at my island, and they heard the crash as well, and went to investigate. They did not come back, but the boat did with a new crew. There were six men, and a seventh carried on a stretcher. That was Kira Yamato, because I would recognize his aura anywhere. They came to my island, and into my house. They beat me up.
[Return back from the flashback to Athrun’s. The calm way in which Malchio tells about this ordeal is humbling, although not very surprising to Athrun. He has kept quiet out of respect, expecting that the man will continue when it suits him. And so he does, the flashback continues.]
Malchio: Luckily I had hidden the children in the basement. The men called for help on my radio, and then demanded food and other rations. I gave them everything they wanted while trying to understand what Kira’s condition was. He was in the room, but still not quite there. [Malchio sighs] I cannot explain it. It was almost like the first time I found him on my beach. But I am getting sidetracked. The men started to get aggressive. They hit me again, and one of them broke my foot with the butt of his rifle. The kids heard the sounds, and came up to defend me. Then one of the men turned his pistol on them, and fired. Thank God he missed. But then Kira got up. And he… killed them all. Every single one. The children refuse to tell me about it even today. It was as if he had been possessed. He chased the last man down to the beach, and beat his head in with a rock. [Malchio shakes his head] Even if they were bad men, no one deserves to die like that. Begging. Pleading. Crying. I am not sure what happened then. I made it outside to take him back inside, but he left quickly on the fishing boat. And then a mobile suit appeared from the sky, and blew up the boat.
[Here Malchio pauses his own flashback, and returns to Athrun’s respective one. Athrun has leaned forward, desperate to hear more. His face filled with concern.]
Machio: But knowing Kira, I was sure he would not die like that. However my strength failed me and I collapsed on the beach out of exhaustion and was bed-ridden for two months, running a high fever. But as soon as I could, I started asking about. It turned out some other fishermen had rescued him, or at least someone fitting his description. I set out to Orb, trying to find him. I heard some promising rumors, but never managed to track him down. I must admit I was quite distressed at first about not feeling his aura at all. Then one fellow told me something interesting after I put a few coins into his begging bowl. He said that Kira, or at least very likely it was him, wandered the coastal villages with a vacant look on his face, with pupils dilated. He rarely responded to anything anyone said or did. I assume most people thought he was simply another devastated solider of the war. Everyone had their hands full surviving, so they did not interest themselves much with him. The last I heard of his whereabouts was in Orbus, about a month ago.
[The flashback returns to Athrun again.]
Malchio: [sincerely] I am sorry I did not let you know before. I suppose it was simply my selfish hope to find him. And find out what had happened to him.
Athrun: I see. Thank you very much. And thank you for your efforts.
[Both rise, Malchio slightly wincing, and Athrun looks down at his leg and cane with sympathy.]
Athrun: I am sure I can find Kira. If what you told me was true, and he is wandering around Orbus, it will only be a matter of time.
[Both smile, although both slightly disconcerted by Kira’s apparent display of violence, which would have previously been quite out of character for him. Athrun and Malchio shake hands, Athrun still feeling a bit better than before. Athrun’s flashback ends as he gazes out and Cagalli slaps him in the back of the head. She is exasperated by his dreaming, which only took a few seconds in actual time. She grabs a hold of his collar, and adjusts everything properly.]
Cagalli: You are completely helpless without me.
Athrun: [grins] That’s right. I am.
[Cagalli stops, and blushes. Athrun hugs her, and then leads her outside, back to the convention. As the door closes, Athrun’s voice can be heard.]
Athrun: Right. Your brother is alive and in Orb.
[The door closes mercifully to block the view of Cagalli crashing into a service trolley next to her, but the sounds are clear enough.]

As I've said previously, I think Kira got off too easy in GSD. I mean, I was irritated like many other people by the angsting (especially in the form of flashbacks) but then all of that suddenly went away and Kira grew up to the a mentally wholesome (cough-cough) individual. So what I did is that revisited that time in between, but simply made the trauma come into full bloom now. If there are other questions or comments, please ask and I'll try to give a resonable and consistent answer. Come on now, don't let me stickied for nothing.

[saneman]

This is interesting - although fundamentally flawed- fanfiction. It may be that it is the limitation of SEED-verse that haunts this work, which would be difficult to say since we have no other piece of fiction in which to base the necessary evaluations.

Still, despite the shortcoming it says something that you are able to create somewhat detailed - certainly more than most- universe and people it with somewhat plausible characters. And it definitely says something that you are willing to engage in extensive correspondence with your readers.

[Antares]

Thanks for comments, saneman.
I am aware of several "SEED-flaws", and many of them I chose to incorporate into this simply because it is CE, and I didn't want to go too far off the mark. There is always room for improvement (very much so) and I would appreciate it if you could underline a few for me than you see as the biggest flaws in the fic as you see them. I might very well concur, but I would like the chance to respond to some of them, or to acknowledge some I might've missed.

As a writer, I might add, I've noticed that what intrigues me most is the world set up by other people, and then writing within that context, so I have much to go on (like in this case) to create a detailed world and characters (half the work is already done for me unless I choose to undo it).

Regarding this fic, I've also given some thought to a major rewrite after I get to finish it. For now doing a rewrite would set the project too far back. One of the key things I think I will change is A) remove the script -format and B) focus more on key issues, even if that threatens to leave out other stuff (there is always GSP MSV for that ). I've felt that Seed and Destiny left holes in their world large enough to drive space-cattle through, and perhaps in that sense I over-compensated when I wanted to give grunts and nameless pilots viewpoints and room. They are interesting (to me at least), but they also slow down the pace of the story horribly.