Gundam Seed: Destiny (Altered)

Your own tale of two mecha.
Locked
User avatar
yazi88
Moderator
Posts: 1494
Joined: Wed Oct 03, 2007 1:53 am
Location: Scopedog Bed

Re: Gundam Seed: Destiny (Altered)

Just wanna let you know that Chapter 14 is a exact duplicate of Chapter 13.
User avatar
Dark Duel
Posts: 4833
Joined: Mon Aug 21, 2006 6:39 pm
Location: A blue City in a red State

Re: Gundam Seed: Destiny (Altered)

Whoops. Thanks for letting me know. I corrected it - should be the correct chapter in about 30 minutes.
// ART THREAD // NOT ACCEPTING REQUESTS

"You can learn all the math in the 'verse, but take a boat in the air you don't love, she'll shake you off just as sure as the turn of the worlds. Love keeps her in the air when she ought to fall down. Tells you she's hurting before she keens. Makes her a home."
User avatar
Dark Duel
Posts: 4833
Joined: Mon Aug 21, 2006 6:39 pm
Location: A blue City in a red State

Re: Gundam Seed: Destiny (Altered)

Took a little longer than I expected, but the latest Chapter is up:
Phase 18: Fleeting Dream
// ART THREAD // NOT ACCEPTING REQUESTS

"You can learn all the math in the 'verse, but take a boat in the air you don't love, she'll shake you off just as sure as the turn of the worlds. Love keeps her in the air when she ought to fall down. Tells you she's hurting before she keens. Makes her a home."
Antares
Posts: 1546
Joined: Tue Oct 03, 2006 3:44 am
Location: Finland
Contact:

Re: Gundam Seed: Destiny (Altered)

Hey, good show! It's a rare treat to see a fanfic, with all due courtesy, resurrected. ;)
And the rewriting, it can actually sometimes do a world of good. Forced rewrites are painful, but you also get a fresh perspective on the story (and your own writing) that way. I am rewriting my fic too, slow and steady, to release it again in a different format and with (IMHO) better flow.

I wonder, would recommend reading the rewrite from the beginning altogether or can I just jump in with episode 18 and run with it? I'll comment probably on content later in the week when I have the time.
-We will not be caught by surprise!
*Almost everyone I've killed uttered similar last words.
-Then I am glad once again that you are on my side.
*They've often said that too.
User avatar
Dark Duel
Posts: 4833
Joined: Mon Aug 21, 2006 6:39 pm
Location: A blue City in a red State

Re: Gundam Seed: Destiny (Altered)

Changes early on aren't that major, but if you want to re-read, go right ahead.
I would recommend it, just so you can refresh your memory.
BTW, ideally the next chapter should be up by next week.

Glad for the feedback, BTW!
// ART THREAD // NOT ACCEPTING REQUESTS

"You can learn all the math in the 'verse, but take a boat in the air you don't love, she'll shake you off just as sure as the turn of the worlds. Love keeps her in the air when she ought to fall down. Tells you she's hurting before she keens. Makes her a home."
User avatar
Dark Duel
Posts: 4833
Joined: Mon Aug 21, 2006 6:39 pm
Location: A blue City in a red State

Re: Gundam Seed: Destiny (Altered)

CHAPTER 19 IS UP
This begins a four-chapter arc centered around the next major divergences from canon, beginning with the Destroy Gundam attack in western Eurasia.
Spoiler
As a reminder, the first few divergences thus far were:
  • The retconning of the Second Battle of Jachin Due that resulted in the survival of Natarle Badgiruel, as per the separately-published prologue
  • The death of Lacus Clyne
  • The decision by Cagalli to not remain onboard the Archangel, which led to the survival of the Takemikazuchi- - a plot point that will be highly relevant later on.
  • The survival of Heine and the death of Rey
There have been other minor divergences in terms of characters and minor alterations to mecha designs, but those have been the major ones.
Another difference, which will be a few chapters from now, is a drastic redesign of the Destiny Gundam's armaments, which can be found here. But that won't come into play until later on.
Last edited by Dark Duel on Sun Feb 24, 2013 6:24 pm, edited 1 time in total.
// ART THREAD // NOT ACCEPTING REQUESTS

"You can learn all the math in the 'verse, but take a boat in the air you don't love, she'll shake you off just as sure as the turn of the worlds. Love keeps her in the air when she ought to fall down. Tells you she's hurting before she keens. Makes her a home."
User avatar
Arbiter GUNDAM
Posts: 2904
Joined: Fri Jan 04, 2008 3:36 pm
Location: Cruisin' the Universe w/Spaceman Spiff!!!
Contact:

Re: Gundam Seed: Destiny (Altered)

For some reason I feel like explanations to Shinn about why he's being a frakhead should be coming from Athrun, not Heine, but maybe that's just me.
I can fly if I ride the wind! Gori gori!

--Freyja Wion
User avatar
Dark Duel
Posts: 4833
Joined: Mon Aug 21, 2006 6:39 pm
Location: A blue City in a red State

Re: Gundam Seed: Destiny (Altered)

Mostly, they have been; Athrun has been portrayed so far pretty consistently as a kind of de facto mentor figure, calling out Shinn when he's being, as you put it, a frakhead. In this case, Athrun's kind of indisposed though, so I used Heine instead.

Anyway, update time! And this time, it's a DOUBLE UPDATE!!!
PHASE 20: STELLA
PHASE 21: THE WORLD REVEALED
This brings us to a point roughly equivalent to Ep33. In Phase 20, new equipment is introduced for the Impulse, the Storm Silhouette, and the Destroy is engaged and defeated. In Phase 21, some DRASTIC changes take place in the first half, while the revelation of Logos is pretty much untouched.
// ART THREAD // NOT ACCEPTING REQUESTS

"You can learn all the math in the 'verse, but take a boat in the air you don't love, she'll shake you off just as sure as the turn of the worlds. Love keeps her in the air when she ought to fall down. Tells you she's hurting before she keens. Makes her a home."
User avatar
Amion
Posts: 2166
Joined: Wed Jan 11, 2012 8:43 pm

Re: Gundam Seed: Destiny (Altered)

I loved your revamp of the original Destiny, you made it look menacing indeed. Another mecha question, exactly what is the difference between the force silhouette and storm silhouette?

I aught to read the chapters, since this looks like quality writing, but my schedule is too hectic at the moment what with my own writing projects, though I might skim over it when I get the chance.
They don't know the power of a balanced vision.
User avatar
Dark Duel
Posts: 4833
Joined: Mon Aug 21, 2006 6:39 pm
Location: A blue City in a red State

Re: Gundam Seed: Destiny (Altered)

The Storm Silhouette is basically an IWSP analog; it's armed with a pair of beam cannons, and a hardpoint on each wing allows it to mount a pair of missile launchers; on top of that, it has a pair of heavier beam swords, and it has larger, higher-output thrusters, so it's faster.
// ART THREAD // NOT ACCEPTING REQUESTS

"You can learn all the math in the 'verse, but take a boat in the air you don't love, she'll shake you off just as sure as the turn of the worlds. Love keeps her in the air when she ought to fall down. Tells you she's hurting before she keens. Makes her a home."
User avatar
Amion
Posts: 2166
Joined: Wed Jan 11, 2012 8:43 pm

Re: Gundam Seed: Destiny (Altered)

I like it. :D Thanks. Now, what exactly is the nature of this fanfic? Is it A: alter slightly to make better(probably not because of what I read in the spoiler tag) Or B: a rather total deviation like Shadowcell's or Madorfole's trilogy (which I only have Soma's testimony on, having only read one chapter involving its mecha).
They don't know the power of a balanced vision.
User avatar
Arbiter GUNDAM
Posts: 2904
Joined: Fri Jan 04, 2008 3:36 pm
Location: Cruisin' the Universe w/Spaceman Spiff!!!
Contact:

Re: Gundam Seed: Destiny (Altered)

Well, why don't ya read it Amion, that'd help. :)
I can fly if I ride the wind! Gori gori!

--Freyja Wion
User avatar
Amion
Posts: 2166
Joined: Wed Jan 11, 2012 8:43 pm

Re: Gundam Seed: Destiny (Altered)

If you notice, I'm writing a fanfic right now on that which should not be named. :shock: yes, yes I am. Read it if you want to pollute your mind with more of IT. So unfortunately, I don't have time to invest in very much and want to know what kind of rewrite Duel is going for. Depending on his answer I will read it. :D

I like a lot of the plot I have seen so far. Izaak is captain of the Minerva right? Or is that Rebel Cheeses...?
They don't know the power of a balanced vision.
User avatar
Dark Duel
Posts: 4833
Joined: Mon Aug 21, 2006 6:39 pm
Location: A blue City in a red State

Re: Gundam Seed: Destiny (Altered)

Basically, the story more or less follows the general plot outline of the series up to a point. However, there are a few changes made, many major, some minor:
1. The Gundamjack at Armory One is eliminated.
2. MAJOR changes are made in the portrayal of several characters. Notably
Spoiler
  • Cagalli does not remain on the Archangel, and is more competent and proactive about not letting the Seirans basically do what they want.
  • Athrun is more of a direct influence on Shinn, playing the role of Amuro in the Earth Arc of Zeta to Shinn's Kamille
  • Speaking of Shinn, significantly more time and effort is expended on developing his character.
  • The Alliance gets a more balanced portrayal, in that a number of more positive and sympathetic Alliance characters appear
  • I slightly retconned a couple of elements of the end of Seed - covered in a separately-published prologue.
  • Changes in character deaths
  • You remember the Destiny Plan in the series? That is eliminated
  • The focus is and remains on the Minerva crew
// ART THREAD // NOT ACCEPTING REQUESTS

"You can learn all the math in the 'verse, but take a boat in the air you don't love, she'll shake you off just as sure as the turn of the worlds. Love keeps her in the air when she ought to fall down. Tells you she's hurting before she keens. Makes her a home."
User avatar
Amion
Posts: 2166
Joined: Wed Jan 11, 2012 8:43 pm

Re: Gundam Seed: Destiny (Altered)

Works for me. I want to check it out, but I'm actually doing an editing job for a book my friend has published (and it has serious grammar issues) so my time is limited. However, I do plan to read it, just be patient. :mrgreen:
They don't know the power of a balanced vision.
saneman
Posts: 104
Joined: Wed Apr 11, 2007 2:25 am

Re: Gundam Seed: Destiny (Altered)

Having read up to around latest chapter in FF.net, I will grant that this is fine fanfic. But I must say that with death of major characters and elimination of Gundamjack, this feels alot less like Destiny, not all in good way. Too much of essential points are missing.

By the comments you've made so far, it seems that the Destiny Plan, which is the focal point of the last third of the series, is also out. But Gundamjack, Kira-Shinn Duel (Death of Stella), and Destiny Plan are the cornerstone of Destiny. Without them it does not feel like a true retelling, more or less fan indulgence.
You know, doing what is right is easy. The problem is knowing what is right.
~ Lyndon B. Johnson
User avatar
Amion
Posts: 2166
Joined: Wed Jan 11, 2012 8:43 pm

Re: Gundam Seed: Destiny (Altered)

you had better not be giving up on this, Dark Duel. You better not... :evil:

Now, I read the first chapter, and find it to be a better beginning overall than what Destiny offers. Junius 7 suddenly fills the limelight and I can feel the urgency and epic tone of the tombstone falling to Earth.

Now, onto the other chapters. :mrgreen:
They don't know the power of a balanced vision.
User avatar
Dark Duel
Posts: 4833
Joined: Mon Aug 21, 2006 6:39 pm
Location: A blue City in a red State

Re: Gundam Seed: Destiny (Altered)

My recently-concluded Law Class had absorbed a fairly sizable chunk of my time, and I simply haven't found the time to sit and write - mea culpa. Plus my next MG project kinda took up a good bit of what spare time I had left.
Ideally, I should be able to take some time to resume writing this in the next few weeks.
Gundamjack, Kira-Shinn Duel (Death of Stella), and Destiny Plan are the cornerstone of Destiny
I disagree on the first. The fact is, the principal story element of Arc 1 of Destiny, which is the Junius Seven/Break the World Incident, could easily have been introduced without ripping off the first episode of Seed - which itself wasn't anything that hadn't been done before anyway.
On the last, I don't have a beef with the idea of the Destiny Plan as a general concept/plot element. I have a problem with the idea of the Destiny Plan in terms of specifically what it is in the series, because the whole idea is retarded. If there is ONE THING that Seed PROVED, it's that George Glenn was full of sh!t and that genetic manipulation, for all its apparent advantages, is NOT the answer to humanity's problems. And that's all I'll say on the subject.
As for point #2...
...Whoever said Operation Angel Down doesn't happen? I refuse to tell you specifics, but I can tell you the Kira/Shinn + AA/Minerva battle WILL happen - and it will happen within the next chapter or two. What happens after that is where things start getting a little different.
As for Stella dying, that was done for two reasons:
1. I ship ShinnxStella. Yeah, I admit it.
2. Significant future development potential for Shinn, in which she plays a critical part.
// ART THREAD // NOT ACCEPTING REQUESTS

"You can learn all the math in the 'verse, but take a boat in the air you don't love, she'll shake you off just as sure as the turn of the worlds. Love keeps her in the air when she ought to fall down. Tells you she's hurting before she keens. Makes her a home."
User avatar
Amion
Posts: 2166
Joined: Wed Jan 11, 2012 8:43 pm

Re: Gundam Seed: Destiny (Altered)

Well step on it mister. :lol: Just kidding, I understand the difficulty of writing. I will also be posting FF reviews for you every three or five chapters or so.

And how did you like law class?
They don't know the power of a balanced vision.
User avatar
Dark Duel
Posts: 4833
Joined: Mon Aug 21, 2006 6:39 pm
Location: A blue City in a red State

Re: Gundam Seed: Destiny (Altered)

Chapter 22 has been posted.
This update brings us to Operation: Angel Down, and from this point forward, things start changing rather more significantly than they have been so far.
// ART THREAD // NOT ACCEPTING REQUESTS

"You can learn all the math in the 'verse, but take a boat in the air you don't love, she'll shake you off just as sure as the turn of the worlds. Love keeps her in the air when she ought to fall down. Tells you she's hurting before she keens. Makes her a home."
Locked