Just one typo in the first chapter:
"At times like this, a little bit of acting never hurts." Athrun signed
--> "At times like this, a little bit of acting never hurts." Athrun
sighed The only real new stuff seemed to be, and correct me if I'm wrong, the introduction of Alvarez and the
Jovian Dawn. OK, interesting. I saw that at point you jumped through the story in
Destiny, more or less expecting your readers knew what was going on there. That's OK, if that's the call you've decided to make. As such, I was more interested to see what you added to the story. Scirocco's name smacks fairly UCish to me.
I'll try to get around to readings chapters 2-3 later.
