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 Post Posted: Sun Oct 30, 2011 1:26 pm 
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Der Bigen Slicen
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OH! I get it now. No, MSG-ANT is just an outline for right now.

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 Post Posted: Fri Nov 04, 2011 8:52 am 
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Hey all. For sometime I have been working on some sort of Gundam Seed Destiny fic, but have been shifting constantly between a rewrite and a continuation of where Destiny left off (with some adjustments to the final episodes to add more conflicts). Anyway, after a year or two of dancing between this, I actually decided to just stick with the continuation idea and just write something down. That's the first version of the prologue and I was hoping to get a idea of what people thought of the concepts/writing format whatever.

Spoiler: show
The boy stumbled through the snow quietly, surrounded by a scene of devastation, charred tree trunks, with shards of wood blasted around. The sight still twisted his gut whenever he saw it, reopening a wound that still went all the way to his heart. Quietly, he stumbled through the snow, towards the city, despite his mind pleading to go back. It wasn’t the force of will that kept him walking, but his innate needs, the pit in his stomach. He was starving, having survived on whatever rations were left in his cockpit since the battle above the skies.

Finally, the ruined tree-line came to a stop, and he could fully see the tragedy before him.

Berlin.

Or more accurately, whatever was left of it. The city was in ruins, blasted possibly beyond repair, scattered pieces of mobile suits were easily spotted amongst the waste. In nearly every sense of the word, Berlin had been destroyed.

Across the rubble, disaster workers were attending to their duties, digging away rubble and relocating drifters, long having since given up any hope of finding anymore survivors after this time. Immediately in front of him, lingering just outsides the city remained a sea of the dislocated survivors of her rampage, housed in tents and whatever other makeshift shelter they could make or locate.

Taking a deep breath for confidence, he strode towards the camps. Wearing the clothes he had found in a ruined house a day earlier, he realised that he still did not blend in well. Having red eyes did that, he supposed, but far better than wearing a ZAFT pilot jumpsuit. Looking nervously away from the occasional glances, he continued on through the crowd.

Food. He needed to find food. With the amount of aid workers he had heard that were present, he assumed such a task would be easy, but among a sea of people who shared the same goal, he realised his objective was going to be harder than previously predicted.

It took nearly an hour or more, but eventually he was able to secure some sort of broth from a row of aid workers. Stalking away as quietly as he came, the former pilot found himself taking cover in a blasted building to eat his meal. Compared to many other houses, it was in relatively good condition, it had majority of its four walls present, and some of its roof, but most importantly, it was empty.

The hot meal was a welcome reprieve from the biting cold of the last few days, ever since he landed near the freezing lake for a second time. Quietly, he wondered what to do next, where to go, who to talk to, how to hide. His musings were interrupted, at the sounds of snow being crushed beneath boots. Someone was coming. Tossing aside the empty plastic bowl he rested his hands behind his back, feeling the bulky figure of the pistol hidden underneath his coat.

It was a man, he realised, mid-twenties to early thirties wearing bright overalls and a hard safety helmet like many other workers going through the wreckage of Berlin.

“You’re not supposed to be here”, the man said simply.

Blinking, the boy muttered an apology before slowly beginning to stand. He had to head off anyway, back to his only home...

“I think you misunderstood me.” The man continued, “The Clynes say you’re not supposed to be –down- here, Mr. Shinn Asuka.”

Alarm shot through him, his blood rushed and the red-eyed Coordinator could already feel his hand snapping behind his coat, withdrawing the pistol.

“Relax!” The man said sharply, his arms raising harmlessly in the air, “I ain’t your enemy.”

“Who the hell are you?” Shinn demanded.

“A friend; hopefully” he replied soothingly, “More accurately, I am a scout of sorts.”

“A scout? Whose scout?”

“A company of sorts, people who are in the market for someone of your talents. We are short you see, of the proper... soldiers. I am here to make an offer.”

“The war is over” Shinn stated simply.

“The open war between ZAFT and the Earth Alliance may be over for now, but you know there is much more than that.” The man countered, “We may have had two wars very recently, but there are still plenty of people with fight left in them on both sides. However, you more than anyone else knows that the bad blood is not just between the Earth Alliance and ZAFT... there are a lot of... ‘internal issues’”

“You mean like Rey, he said he would fight to the end...”

“Commander Za Burrel, one of the leaders of the Anti-Clyne Occupation Front.” The man noticed Shinn’s brief flash of surprise, “You have not been keeping up with the news, have you?” To that, Shinn let the silence hang with his sidearm pointing at the stranger.

“Very well, I shall update you from the end of Messiah, yes?” With no sound of objection coming from the boy, the man started. “Despite Dullinidal’s death, you and Rey Za Burrel, refused to disarm and surrender to the Clyne forces, forcing to prolong the bloody engagement as many other ZAFT soldiers, influenced by your example decided to fight alongside you. So, seeing the battle is lost, Rey Za Burrel withdraws and goes in the hiding with a small portion of Dullindal loyalists, whom you were to believed to be among...”

“I know that” Shinn growled.

“Anyway, after the battle, Messiah is captured by the Clyne Faction who set themselves up as the new provisionally government. However, as they overthrew Dullindal, a popular leader...”

“The people hated them?” Shinn interjected.

“No. Lacus’ own popularity has somewhat soothed down the fires of immediate revolt. However it is true she does not have the popular vote.”

“I already know all this crap.”

“Alright then. After you’re decent to Earth in the aftermath of the battle of Messiah, Rey among some other powerful figures, declared the formation of the Anti-Clyne Occupation Front, and have declared themselves an enemy of... in their ever so eloquent words, ‘The Tyrant Clyne’”. The man paused briefly, studying Shinn’s reaction, “With the creation of a sworn enemy, the Clyne faction has understandably reformed their military, placing her more trusted generals in the most powerful positions.”

Shinn was quiet. He had only being earth-bound for a few days and so much had happened. Despite it all though, he felt next to nothing like he did in the previous weeks. He felt no urge to fight again, he bloody well knew he wanted to, especially the Freedom but...

“We all expected you to be serving with Rey, but here you are, at the last place we would expect. Did the flames of your heart die with the Minerva?” The words struck a chord, and Shinn levelled the sidearm again.

“One more time, and I will shoot. First, tell me, who are you? Who do you work for? Stop messing with me.” The coordinator growled, “I will shoot if-“

“You can call me Dust”, the man interrupted. “I am a recruitment agent of SHARPE.”

Shinn looked at him blankly. “SHARPE? Who are they?”

“We’re a newly formed autonomous division. The Supervisory Hybrid Assault and Reconnaissance Platoon of...” the man paused nervously, studying the pistol in his hand, “...Eurasia”.

Asuka felt a rage shoot through him quickly, in one moment he lunged forward, grabbing a surprised Dust with his left-hand. I should of known, Shinn scolded himself, who else would of known that he landed here if not for the damn people that owned this wreck of a city. It wasn’t until his helmet felt loudly to the floor, that Shinn noticed the force of his grapple had force it from his head. He felt his eyes widen slightly in surprise for a short moment as he saw the man’s face clearly. Grey hair. Yet young. A coordinator? Rage overcame surprise and Shinn pulled him tighter.

“Bastard,” the red-eyed coordinator said harshly “why would I work for you? After all the crap you people did... after all the things you put Stellar through!”

The man was quiet, surprised, his normally calm composure gone, but in another heartbeat it returned. “Stellar? That is the Extended girl of the second batch, yes? So it is true that you are the ZAFT pilot that had the strange connection with the girl..." Dust noted, before continuing, "However, we were not involved in the Extended project, we would request that you would refrain from such accusations” Shinn was caught off guard again. He knew about Stellar? The two were stuck in a dead silence, staring at each other for a time, Shinn’s red eyes meet the agent’s brown.

“SHARPE does not expect you to work for us free of charge. Loyalty will be rewarded generously” He promised quietly.

“Rewarded, how?”

“First; we are willing to extend to you our protection. After the bloodbath you made to get out of Messiah with Za Burrel, the Clyne faction is keeping an eye out for you and your comrade. With us, not only will they not find out what happened to you for a long time, they will not be able to touch you or your weapon.”

My weapon?

“Secondly, we offer you, well, power generally. Unlike what ZAFT intends to do, we won’t disarm you of Destiny." Almost as an afterthought, he added, "Also, the payment plan is pretty decent, probably a little better than what you got under ZAFT, not that you care.”

He was right; Shinn could care less for money. “And the third?” he asked quietly.

“My left breast pocket, if you would be so kind?”

Slowly, Shinn let go off him, his off-hand sliding into his pocket, and pulling out a folded piece of photo paper. Slowly he unfolded it and studied. The world seemed to stop; he didn’t even register his gun dropping out of his hand. All he could sense was Dust’s voice in the background and the picture in his hand. It was a picture of a crowd, he didn’t know where it was, he wouldn’t even know when it was, were it not for the date labelled at the bottom left corner, marking it as two days old. In the crowd there was a girl, one his own age, who stood out amongst the crowd like a flare in the dark. Her hair was blonde and shoulder length, her eyes looking far off into the distance as if her head was in the clouds.

“Thirdly, if you want to have even the slightest chance on seeing this girl again in this life, it would be with us.” Dust finished bluntly.

“What...” Shinn stammered, he was lost for words. She was dead; he knew for a fact, she was dead.

“I can’t really tell you much at this point, as I said, we know little of the Extended project ourselves. The finer details were kept between LOGOS and Phantom Pain. However, our intelligence can confirm that this is Stellar. Whether she is the same or a clone, we cannot guarantee. However, what we can gurantee is some... justice. So, what say you?”

Shinn was quiet for a long time, he disliked the suggestive tone he had in his last words, but in his current position, he had little option to be picky. “What is there to decide?” he said finally.

Dust only grinned triumphantly at that, “Between being caught by the Clyne faction in the next few days, and stripped of whatever power and dignity you have left after Messiah, or us?”

The silence returned once again, Shinn studied the picture, studied –her-, before looking the grey-haired coordinator in the eyes.

“Where to?”


The prologue is rather short, mainly due to the fact that I intend to write the actual chapters with more than one PoV, whereas this only has one. Here, I tried to write it to give the strong impression that Final Plus when down way differently than it did in the anime (namely, Shinn wasn't all forgiving of Kira and some different characters died and some others survived, doubt anyone would of noticed, but the prologue was heavily influenced by the fanfic Renaissance, which like... never finished, but was a major inspiration for the "Continue from Destiny" argument).

Also, I am not aiming for a villainisation of the Clyne group, the prologue is just told from the PoV of a character who hates them.

Anyway, if you have the time to read it and give constructive criticism, it would be appreciated.

EDIT: As a side note, the OCs will be playing some big roles at times, but will not be as important as the main canon cast. One main reason, is since the Eurasian Alliance will be getting good screen-time, I really have no canon characters to flesh them out there. Hence Dust.

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'Yes,' said Caladan Brood, 'you never learn.'


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 Post Posted: Fri Nov 04, 2011 4:29 pm 
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-post redacted because I feel like such a tool after reading it-

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 Post Posted: Sun Nov 06, 2011 8:47 pm 
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Not a bad idea there, Blightstrider, and I can especially sympathize since I set out to do pretty much what you did; rewrite CE after GSD as if performing a bit of corrective surgery. I don't know if checking my own fic might give you some ideas (I am rewriting it, but the script-format can still be found on this forum).

So your protagonist would be returned to Shinn, then? Is there something you plan to do with him in particular, seeing as in the latter part of GSD he got no character development, and here he seems to be pretty much the same too. And he would be unavoidably an underdog, unless in your rewritten version Athrun or Kira is dead. Even if they failed to kill Rey and Shinn, they are the de facto best pilots of CE who have bested Shinn many times, so you need to provide him with resources that need to be really well explained. And you need to give him a new motivation to keep on fighting. Rey and his remnant fleet is definitely a workable idea.

I don't much care for the acronym for SHARPE, I have to say. Sounds too contrived, go for something simpler.

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 Post Posted: Sun Nov 06, 2011 10:58 pm 
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There was another major fanfiction site besides FF.net that someone mentioned a while ago, but I can't remember what it is. AmI crazy or does someone else know?

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 Post Posted: Mon Nov 07, 2011 5:03 am 
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Antares wrote:
SNIP


I intend to do quite a lot with Shinn, as I find that the most interesting protagonist to me, is generally the one with a whole multitude of flaws, something that Shinn had in droves by the end of Destiny (although he got SOME character development in DESTINY, for every step he took, he took another two steps and a fall backwards), where he has nothing to fight for, his pride as a pilot is in tatters and (with the edits I intend, like removing that contrived, ‘making-up’ scene) he has pretty much burnt all his bridges when it comes to ZAFT and Orb; so a major part of his chapters would be dedicated to fixing that. It also kinda fits in a humorous way for someone like Shinn to be the central PoV in a faction/nation that also got no development.

Kira and Athrun would still be alive as of the beginning of the fic, but would not be running into Shinn often in the earlier chapters as they would be too busy dealing with their own problems, like Rey’s resistance and the fragile relations with the members of the EA (Although I am still deciding whether to keep Athrun in FAITH or move him to ORB).

SHARPE is more of a placeholder name, so yeah, I was planning to change (or so I claim I intended). I was thinking Sean Bean when I thought of that >_>.

As a query, what do you mean exactly by... “provide him with resources that need to be really well explained.”?

Anyway, aside from that, thanks for the post, I earnestly found it really beneficial.

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Kallor said: 'I walked this land when the T'lan Imass were but children. I have commanded armies a hundred thousand strong. I have spread the fire of my wrath across entire continents, and sat alone upon tall thrones. Do you grasp the meaning of this?'

'Yes,' said Caladan Brood, 'you never learn.'


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 Post Posted: Mon Nov 07, 2011 10:04 am 
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Quote:
SHARPE is more of a placeholder name, so yeah, I was planning to change (or so I claim I intended). I was thinking Sean Bean when I thought of that >_>.

In that case feel free to use it. Or just center the concept of SHARPE around the scout-guy himself, who you could well name Richard Sharpe. ;)

On the setting, yeah since you have redone the ending of Destiny, you can easily send Athrun to Orb with Cagalli as Destiny hints, whereas Kira and Lacus focus on PLANT/ZAFT and Rey's fleet. Of course that would set up the conflict of the first third of your fic between Athrun and Shinn unavoidably (I don't see him going to space immediately), which can be either good or bad.

Oh, and as I've mentioned time and again, I am utterly biased to Athrun, and the way you treat his character often has a significant impact on how I view the fic itself. So... no pressure, just putting it out there. :mrgreen:

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 Post Posted: Sat Nov 12, 2011 7:22 pm 
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In my fic Gundam Meister Grace, Feldt has become a Gundam Meister ergo someone needs to take her place on the Ptolemy's bridge. I was thinking of either introducing Anew early and making her an Innovade/human hybrid like the Trinities or using one of the side characters. Problem is, I'm not as familiar with the manga characters...

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 Post Posted: Sat Nov 12, 2011 9:10 pm 
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You could always squeeze Ian's daughter (I forget the name) on there.

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 Post Posted: Sat Nov 12, 2011 9:34 pm 
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No good, she'd only be 9 going on 10 when CB starts their first interventions.

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 Post Posted: Sun Nov 13, 2011 11:50 am 
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Then it's either an OC or your Anew idea.

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 Post Posted: Mon Nov 14, 2011 7:45 am 
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Been meaning to post here earlier, but I have been working fifteen days straight, full-time. I miss my weekends >_>

Anew seems like a solid idea, when it comes to rewrites or AUs, I find it is a lot better to use a pre-existing character, rather than a OC. I liked Anew too >_>

Antares wrote:
Quote:
SHARPE is more of a placeholder name, so yeah, I was planning to change (or so I claim I intended). I was thinking Sean Bean when I thought of that >_>.

In that case feel free to use it. Or just center the concept of SHARPE around the scout-guy himself, who you could well name Richard Sharpe. ;)

On the setting, yeah since you have redone the ending of Destiny, you can easily send Athrun to Orb with Cagalli as Destiny hints, whereas Kira and Lacus focus on PLANT/ZAFT and Rey's fleet. Of course that would set up the conflict of the first third of your fic between Athrun and Shinn unavoidably (I don't see him going to space immediately), which can be either good or bad.

Oh, and as I've mentioned time and again, I am utterly biased to Athrun, and the way you treat his character often has a significant impact on how I view the fic itself. So... no pressure, just putting it out there. :mrgreen:


Athrun is one of the characters I have come to like, whether it is my love of Katsura rubbing off onto him is the reason or not, is beyond me. Here is the new prologue, with edits and an expansion (two more PoVs). Comments appreciated.

Spoiler: show
The boy stumbled through the snow quietly, surrounded by a scene of devastation, charred tree trunks, with shards of wood blasted around. The sight still twisted his gut whenever he saw it, reopening a wound that still went all the way to his heart. Quietly, he stumbled through the snow, towards the city, despite his mind pleading to go back. It wasn’t the force of will that kept him walking, but his innate needs, the pit in his stomach. He was starving, having survived on whatever rations were left in his cockpit since the battle above the skies.

Finally, the ruined tree-line came to a stop, and he could fully see the tragedy before him.

Berlin.

Or more accurately, whatever was left of it. The city was in ruins, blasted possibly beyond repair, scattered pieces of mobile suits were easily spotted amongst the waste. In nearly every sense of the word, Berlin had been destroyed.

Across the rubble, disaster workers were attending to their duties, digging away rubble and relocating drifters, long having since given up any hope of finding anymore survivors after this time. Immediately in front of him, lingering just outsides the city remained a sea of the dislocated survivors of her rampage, housed in tents and whatever other makeshift shelter they could make or locate.

Taking a deep breath for confidence, he strode towards the camps. Wearing the clothes he had found in a ruined house a day earlier, he realised that he still did not blend in well. Having red eyes did that, he supposed, but far better than wearing a ZAFT pilot jumpsuit. Looking nervously away from the occasional glances, he continued on through the crowd.

Food. He needed to find food. With the amount of aid workers he had heard that were present, he assumed such a task would be easy, but among a sea of people who shared the same goal, he realised his objective was going to be harder than previously predicted.

It took nearly an hour or more, but eventually he was able to secure some sort of broth from a row of aid workers. Stalking away as quietly as he came, the former pilot found himself taking cover in a blasted building to eat his meal. Compared to many other houses, it was in relatively good condition, it had majority of its four walls present, and some of its roof, but most importantly, it was empty.

The hot meal was a welcome reprieve from the biting cold of the last few days, ever since he landed near the freezing lake for a second time. Quietly, he wondered what to do next, where to go, who to talk to, how to hide. His musings were interrupted, at the sounds of snow being crushed beneath boots. Someone was coming. Tossing aside the empty plastic bowl he rested his hands behind his back, feeling the bulky figure of the pistol hidden underneath his coat.

It was a man, he realised, mid-twenties to early thirties wearing bright overalls and a hard safety helmet like many other workers going through the wreckage of Berlin.

“You’re not supposed to be here”, the man said simply.

Blinking, the boy muttered an apology before slowly beginning to stand. He had to head off anyway, back to his only home...

“I think you misunderstood me.” The man continued, “The Clynes say you’re not supposed to be –down- here, Mr. Shinn Asuka.”

Alarm shot through him, his blood rushed and the red-eyed Coordinator could already feel his hand snapping behind his coat, withdrawing the pistol.

“Relax!” The man said sharply, his arms rising harmlessly in the air, “I ain’t your enemy.”

“Who the hell are you?” Shinn demanded.

“A friend; hopefully” he replied soothingly, “More accurately, I am a scout of sorts.”

“A scout? Whose scout?”

“A company of sorts, people who are in the market for someone of your talents. We are short you see, of the proper... soldiers. I am here to make an offer.”

“The war is over” Shinn stated simply.

“The open war between ZAFT and the Earth Alliance may be over for now, but you know there is much more than that.” The man countered, “We may have had two wars very recently, but there are still plenty of people with fight left in them on both sides. However, you more than anyone else knows that the bad blood is not just between the Earth Alliance and ZAFT... there are a lot of... ‘internal issues’”

“You mean like Rey, he said he would fight to the end...”

“Commander Za Burrel, one of the leaders of the Anti-Clyne Occupation Front.” The man noticed Shinn’s brief flash of surprise, “You have not been keeping up with the news, have you?” To that, Shinn let the silence hang with his sidearm pointing at the stranger.

“Very well, I shall update you from the end of Messiah, yes?” With no sound of objection coming from the boy, the man started. “Despite Dullinidal’s death, you and Rey Za Burrel, refused to disarm and surrender to the Clyne forces, forcing to prolong the bloody engagement as many other ZAFT soldiers, influenced by your example decided to fight alongside you. So, seeing the battle is lost, Rey Za Burrel withdraws and goes in the hiding with a small portion of Dullindal loyalists, whom you were to believed to be among...”

“I know that” Shinn growled.

“Anyway, after the battle, Messiah is captured by the Clyne Faction who set themselves up as the new provisionally government. However, as they overthrew Dullindal, a popular leader...”

“The people hated them?” Shinn interjected.

“No. Lacus’ own popularity has somewhat soothed down the fires of immediate revolt. However it is true she does not have the popular vote.”

“I already know all this crap.”

“Alright then. After you’re decent to Earth in the aftermath of the battle of Messiah, Rey among some other powerful figures, declared the formation of the Anti-Clyne Occupation Front, and have declared themselves an enemy of... in their ever so eloquent words, ‘The Tyrant Clyne’”. The man paused briefly, studying Shinn’s reaction, “With the creation of a sworn enemy, the Clyne faction has understandably reformed their military, placing her more trusted generals in the most powerful positions.”

Shinn was quiet. He had only being earth-bound for a few days and so much had happened. Despite it all though, he felt next to nothing like he did in the previous weeks. He felt no urge to fight again; he bloody well knew he wanted to, especially the Freedom but...

“We all expected you to be serving with Rey, but here you are, at the last place we would expect. Did the flames of your heart die with the Minerva?” The words struck a chord, and Shinn levelled the sidearm again.

“One more time, and I will shoot. First, tell me, who are you? Who do you work for? Stop messing with me.” The coordinator growled, “I will shoot if-“

“You can call me Dust”, the man interrupted. “I am a recruitment agent of ESSF.”

Shinn looked at him blankly. “ESSF? Who are they?”

“We’re a newly formed division...” the man paused nervously, studying the pistol in his hand, “The Eurasia Supervisory Shadow Forces”.

Asuka felt a rage shoot through him quickly, in one moment he lunged forward, grabbing a surprised Dust with his left-hand. I should of known, Shinn scolded himself, who else would of known that he landed here if not for the damn people that owned this wreck of a city. It wasn’t until his helmet felt loudly to the floor, that Shinn noticed the force of his grapple had force it from his head. He felt his eyes widen slightly in surprise for a short moment as he saw the man’s face clearly. Grey hair. Yet not old. A coordinator? Rage overcame surprise and Shinn pulled him tighter.

“Bastard,” the red-eyed coordinator said harshly “why would I work for you? After all the crap you people did... after all the things you did to Stellar!”

The man was quiet, surprised, his normally calm composure gone, but in another heartbeat it returned. The two were stuck in a dead silence, staring at each other for a time, Shinn’s red eyes meet the agent’s brown.

“We do not expect you to work for us free of charge. Loyalty will be rewarded generously with many things.” He promised quietly.

“What... things?”

“First; we are willing to extend to you our protection. After the bloodbath you made to get out of Messiah with Za Burrel, the Clyne faction is keeping an eye out for you and your former comrade. With us, not only will they not find out what happened to you for a long time, they will not be able to touch you.” Shinn continued to glare at him quietly, but did not say anything.

“Secondly, we offer you, well, power generally. Unlike what ZAFT intends to do, we won’t disarm you of Destiny. Also, the payment plan is pretty decent, probably a little better than what you got under ZAFT, not that you care.”

He was right; Shinn could care less for money. “And the third?” he asked quietly.

“My left breast pocket, if you would be so kind?”

Slowly, Shinn let go off him, his off-hand sliding into his pocket, and pulling out a folded piece of photo paper. Slowly he unfolded it and studied. The world seemed to stop; he didn’t even register his gun dropping out of his hand. All he could sense was Dust’s voice in the background and the picture in his hand. It was a picture of a crowd, he didn’t know where it was, he wouldn’t even know when it was, were it not for the date labelled at the bottom left corner, marking it as two days old. In the crowd there was a girl, one his own age, who stood out amongst the crowd like a flare in the dark. Her hair was blonde and shoulder length, her eyes looking far off into the distance as if her head was in the clouds.

“Thirdly, if you want to have even the slightest chance on seeing this girl again in this life, it would be with us.” Dust finished bluntly.

“What...” Shinn stammered; he was lost for words. She was dead; he knew for a fact, she was dead.

“I can’t really tell you much at this point, but all I can say that is her. Extended have some tricks you see. Death defying tricks, that have proven themselves to be... rather annoying. Now, what say you?”

Shinn was quiet for a long time. “What is there to decide?”

Dust only grinned triumphantly at that, “Between being caught by the Clyne faction in the next few days, and stripped of whatever power and dignity you have left after Messiah, or us?”

The silence returned once again, Shinn studied the picture, studied –her-, before looking the grey-haired coordinator in the eyes.

“Where to?”

***

The picturesque overlooking view of Aprilius One was quite lost on Yzak, as he ascended above the home city of the Supreme Council. It was not that the beautiful landscape of the PLANT was lost on him, but rather the recent orders he received today were weighing on his mind.

“You are the only one available that I can trust with this task, Commander Joule.” the voice of Lacus Clyne echoed in his mind. “ The serenity of the PLANTs is in your hands.”

Slowly, he glanced around to his two companions; Dearka Elsman stood gazing out of the elevators windows, admiring the sight of the Colony, idly adjusting the collar of his new black uniform while whistling a low tune to himself and Shiho Hahnenfuss who quickly shied away from his attention, redirecting her gaze to the elevator’s wall. Yzak sighed; the woman was too quiet at times, almost as if she didn’t have a voice.

Gradually, the elevator came to a halt as it arrived at level with the colony’s terminal, the automatic doors opening quietly. Yzak stepped forward first, Dearka and Shiho falling in behind him. He was halfway to his destination before he heard someone call out to him.

“Yzak! Wait a moment!” He heard the familiar voice of his former blue-haired comrade from among the crowd.

Hissing in the frustration, the silver hair coordinator spun on his heels, blue eyes flaring. “Bastard, what do you want?”

“Yo, Athrun!” Dearka greeted cheerfully.

Slowing to a halt, Athrun Zala only smiled at his aggressive attitude, “Sorry, but I wanted to talk to you about your recent deployment before you left” he said easily sparing a greeting nod to his two companions.

“What about it?”

“I heard you’re being sent after Rey’s forces.”

“Yeah, that’s right” Yzak replied coolly, “The Supreme Council has granted me control of a few extra Nazca classes in addition to my own to bring this Commander Za Burrel in to custody. But why do you care? This is ZAFT’s business” he questioned irritably, his glare resting on his uniform. An Orb uniform.

“I wanted to tell you in person, be careful. Rey, and more especially, Shinn are dangerous pilots. If you see Destiny, or Legen-“

“They’re gone” said Dearka, interrupting Athrun, “According to the intel that Lacus gave us, the damage the mobile suits took in the final battle around Messiah, should put them in maintenance for a long time.”

Yzak gave a brief, smug chuckle, “I think it’s about time you “gundam” pilots see how good you –really- are when you’re brought to our level of technology.”

Athrun narrowed his eyes, his tone somehow becoming even more flat than before, “I’m serious, Yzak, especially with Shinn, there are still horror stories stemming from the battle with the Orb fleet and all he had back then was the Impulse.”

Yzak noticed the emphasis he put on the last word. Intel had suggested that when Rey split off with his renegade forces, some of the new Impulse units had also gone over to him.

“He’s right Yzak!” Came Dearka’s taunting voice from behind him. “Kid took out the Freedom. You know, unlike you.”

Feeling something snap, Yzak spun around to meet Dearka’s eyes, “Shut up! You didn’t do any better.” He spat out, before turning again to meet Athrun, “Anyway, that all? Shouldn’t you be running home to Orb now?”

“You’re right. I should be. Look, if you see Shinn on the fie-” Athrun paused suddenly, shook his head and continued, “No, it doesn’t matter. If you see him, don’t hesitate, he won’t anymore. He is well beyond reason.”

“I have a force of five Nazcas, each armed with a full squad of mobile suits, you bastard, I won’t make the wrong call.” Yzak said, in a tone that was a little less pissed off than he intended it to be.

“Orb had more, and now, so does Rey.”

Yzak only growled in frustration, realised this argument was a defeat, “Fine, you got, you bastard. If I see Legend or Destiny, I will hold my forces until we get the new prototype units.” Crap, Yzak thought, as he realised what he just let loose.

Dearka chuckled from behind him, “You said it.”

“New uni-?” Athrun began

“Dearka, Shiho! Were leaving” Yzak shouted, before turning on his heels and breaking into a stern march towards the Voltaire. Through sheer stubbornness of will, Yzak blocked out the world around him, he didn’t notice that Shiho was following behind him in a heartbeat, or Dearka asking Athrun to say hello to ‘Miri’ for him. No, instead he was focused on getting back to his flagship, and unleashing his pent up anger on whatever one of his poor subordinates pissed him off first.

***

Dammit, dammit, dammit.

Sai sped down the beaches of Orb in a blind frenzy, his hand clutching his shoulder, drenched in blood. The night was cold, and the shore was empty of people, but Sai could not give up. His vision was getting blurrier and his body heavier with each step, but he was getting closer to civilisation, not far now and he would be able to-

Another shot fired in the night, this one was the same, leaving not a whisper of a sound. Pain and blood exploded from his right leg. He buckled, falling to the ground, screaming out loud.

He was starting to regret joining Terminal.

Half-blind from pain, Sai Argyle slowly rolled on his back, trying to grab a desperate glimpse of his assailant.

He wasn’t hiding anymore, like he was when the first shot came. A well placed bullet to the left shoulder-blade. He understood now that he didn’t mean to kill him with a single shot. It was the gunshot that signalled the start of this little game. His hunt. The pain was overwhelming, eating away at his world, even now; the man was little more than a blur of red and black.

“Sorry”, it was the first thing he had said, the voice sounded different from what he expected. He expected something deeper, older. “I wanted to keep this going for a little while longer... but you were getting so close to ‘safe,’” he chuckled coldly “Can’t have that; too many eyes.”

Stiffening a curse arising from his throat, Sai’s arm shot beneath his back, quickly wrapping itself around the holster of his hidden weapon.

A flash from the nozzle of his silenced rifle marked the third shot.

“Well,” the red wraith spoke as Sai clutched the bloody mess of his right arm, “I will have to say, you have been thoroughly ‘disarmed.’” He chuckled again and rose the barrel of his rifle to meet Sai’s eyes. “Nothing personal, boss said ‘get the damn spies.’”

Terminal, Sai thought bitterly, they are after Terminal. He thought of Miriallia briefly, somewhat relieved he decided to tell her to stay at her home tonight. I wanted to do this one solo.... Sai blinked rapidly, his vision clearing somewhat so he could meet his opponent’s features just one more time, before either death or unconsciousness devoured him.

“So young...” Sai mumbled, baffled, the boy was around his age.

The wraith grinned wolfishly, “Mr. Terminal Agent,” he spoke, his trigger hand tightening. “Phantom Pain sends their regards.”

A bright flash encompassed his world, before oblivion.

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Kallor said: 'I walked this land when the T'lan Imass were but children. I have commanded armies a hundred thousand strong. I have spread the fire of my wrath across entire continents, and sat alone upon tall thrones. Do you grasp the meaning of this?'

'Yes,' said Caladan Brood, 'you never learn.'


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 Post Posted: Wed Nov 16, 2011 10:02 am 
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@ Blightstrider: OK, better, by FAR I'd say.

The situation with Shinn was handled better, and throwing Stellar out there was a good move, whether she really is alive or dead.

The dynamics in PLANT worked out beautifully too; it seems clear that Athrun is outside the usual power structure which is a repeat from before, but if you took my suggestion and based him in Orb, that shouldn't be a problem.

Also, killing off a known member, even if a minor one, from the cast in the prologue is a well tried and true method in getting the audience hooked in. I think you might be onto something here. :)

Just one question: are you using the "wraith" as a description of what Sai sees (since he is in so much pain) or was that more literally meant?

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 Post Posted: Wed Nov 16, 2011 4:23 pm 
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Description as a result of Sai's pain. He's not actually a ghost.

Good to see you approved of the changes. Thanks for the posts by the way. I will hopefully be able to start something by the end of this year, as it stands now, my hours at work are getting in the way of... well everything >_>

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Kallor said: 'I walked this land when the T'lan Imass were but children. I have commanded armies a hundred thousand strong. I have spread the fire of my wrath across entire continents, and sat alone upon tall thrones. Do you grasp the meaning of this?'

'Yes,' said Caladan Brood, 'you never learn.'


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 Post Posted: Thu Nov 17, 2011 12:11 am 
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Lackey GM Pilot

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Really enjoy what you have there Blightstrider, would love to read more.


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 Post Posted: Thu Dec 08, 2011 6:38 am 
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Cardboard Leo Ace
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Arbiter GUNDAM wrote:
harotype wrote:
I'd say it's because unlike most fandoms, writers have some sort of antipathy to using the wonderful UC characters we're given in canon, for some reason.

Now why is that?


Actually you've hit the nail on the head of what i was mainly driving at. I think I've found... maybe a dozen fics that have to do with the actual characters of UC Gundam. Ah, make that a dozen good fics.


Recently, I've seen plenty of fanfiction centering around UC characters at the FF.Net archive. There's been a bunch written about Kamille, some revolving around Amuro, and others focusing on Bright and Char. I had the pleasure of reading a story concerning the death of Nalisse Zabi. It takes place 20 years before the One Year War and foreshadows what will become of the Zabi family. It was really enjoyable.

I don't know what's happened to create this change, since I know what you mean about the UC Gundam archive having a majority of stories centered around original characters, but it's been interesting to say the least. I'll read any story, original character or canon character focused, if I'm intrigued by the plot. But I'll admit I love indulging in stories that are written about UC characters.

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 Post Posted: Sun Dec 18, 2011 7:47 pm 
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Hello everyone!

I have been looking for a specific fanfiction for some time now. I had thought it was here at MechaTalk but apparently I can not find it.

Basically it is a Zeta Gundam Story set during Kamille's attempt to return to the Argama from the Audhumla. Basically having Four defect during the middle of the battle and not getting injured from the commander of the Sudori. She later pilots the Mark-II, for Kamille is out of commission during that last part of the battle. I know it is uncompleted but I really want to read it again.

On that topic I recently though of another story I have read, though far older then the first one basically. I believe it was from way back during the Gundam Watch days. This story basically has Kycilia Zabi living through the Final battle, thanks to her being pregnant with Char's Kid. She projects this to Char when he is about to kill her, who shocked lets her live. He later becomes Kycilia's consort and recieves Garmas old Zaku as his new machine. The chief mechanic of the mobile suit also happens to be Garmas's old love from the War who followed the Zaku up into space. That is about all I remember.

I really hope i can find these stories. Thanks in advance.

EDIT: Never mind on the first found it laying around on FFN. Funny enough I wasn't even looking for it, just browsing through FFN's UC Gundam Section when I found it. Heh! That is how it works sometimes. /shrug/ Shame that the story is only two chapters and basically unfinished.

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 Post Posted: Tue Dec 20, 2011 6:11 pm 
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Deathzealot wrote:

On that topic I recently though of another story I have read, though far older then the first one basically. I believe it was from way back during the Gundam Watch days. This story basically has Kycilia Zabi living through the Final battle, thanks to her being pregnant with Char's Kid. She projects this to Char when he is about to kill her, who shocked lets her live. He later becomes Kycilia's consort and recieves Garmas old Zaku as his new machine. The chief mechanic of the mobile suit also happens to be Garmas's old love from the War who followed the Zaku up into space. That is about all I remember.


Are you talking about Gundam: Reconciliation? That's the only one I could think of.

Here: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/1165796/1/G ... nciliation

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 Post Posted: Tue Dec 20, 2011 7:39 pm 
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Hmmmm.... I don't think that is it. Anyone else remember what the heck I am talking about it.

Thanks burger for trying though.

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 Post Posted: Wed Dec 21, 2011 4:11 am 
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No problem. I've been there with trying to find that one fic you don't remember the name of. It can be frustrating. I hope you find what you're looking for.

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