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 Post Posted: Thu Oct 13, 2011 8:35 am 
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Pilot's Doomed Girlfriend

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Well, Vent, what do most Gundam vs pro Grunt melee encounters result in? Clashing beam weapons, sparks flying, a few choice words, and then either a scene breakoff or someone dies.

Unless these pilots cannot be killed, in which epic battle occurs, but, if you're not up for that, scene breakoff is the way to go. It sounds like Shane still needs a little action.

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 Post Posted: Thu Oct 13, 2011 10:58 am 
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As a budding sci-fi writer who wants to do both original stories and fanfics, I may have started something that will challenge every skill I've ever developed in my years of starting but never finishing any stories. Or I've created something that will just be good fun to write. The latter one.

Essentially, all I decided to do was combine my desire for original stories with my desire to write fanfics. In short, I'm hoping to write a Gundam story set in a new, original universe. While their will be shout outs to older Gundams, I'm working on how to make this new universe different and unique.

Welcome to the Solar Century. Placed in mostly self-sufficient Clusters, and governed by the Earth Republic, the Colonies have been forced to deal with a smattering of terrorists and rebels who wish to break the Colonies away from Earth control, something the majority of the population does not actually want. Equipped with mobile suits, a weapon evented by the Earth Republic during the Black Week Incident, the Colony Guard is hard-pressed to hunt down these rebellious cells.

However, in this time of relative peace, some philosophers and thinkers have preached about the coming of the Striders, or the first step into humanity's transformation into what God had truly intended them to be. Believing the Striders to be better then any normal human, these preachers have advocated the splitting of the Colonies from the Earth in order to fully evolve into the perfect beings. The Colonies have overall not listened.

But then ZION appeared.

Believed to be a private paramilitary organization led and funded by Gregor Boyce, one of the most fanatical of the Strider preachers, ZION is equipped with mobile suits far beyond the Colony Guard's, with the firepower and armor of battleships. ZION has made it perfectly clear that it will 'liberate' the Colonies from Earth's grasp, and launch an invasion of the blue planet in order to break the Republic's spine.

Earth's one hope is a powerful mobile suit designed in secret by the Zeus Corporation, with many technologies similar to ZION's suits. Called the Gundam, it is equipped with the unique psyco-drive, which allows a pilot to 'merge' with the Gundam's systems for vastly improved combat efficiency.

The Republic has labeled the Gundam as a savior, but the machine's real purpose might just turn it into a destroyer.


This is an idea in the works, and some constructive criticism would be nice.

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 Post Posted: Sun Oct 16, 2011 1:44 am 
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I'll admit that I have been guilty of this in the past as well, but I've found the original Gundam universe is always a recipe for failure.

If you're a fan fiction fan, you don't really care about these characters or this conflict or this setting. It's barely fan fiction anymore because there's nothing to arouse that "fan" component anymore. If you like reading original content, then these slavish trappings of a preexisting work will likely turn you off.

I have to ask if it's really going to fulfill you as a writer. Like I said earlier, I've taken a stab at an original Gundam work. Then I realized it was a waste of time when I could just strip it of all the unnecessary fan fiction trappings to make it a personally satisfying story.

By the same token, couldn't you pour all of this creativity into a "purer" example of fan fiction if you want to enjoy the fan base that comes along with fan fiction as a medium? There's enough material in any given Gundam work for more work. A Gundam X prequel about the Seventh Space War, a Gundam 00 spin off about the period of unification between the seasons, yet another spin off side story set in the Universal Cenutry's sprawling history, etc.

Basically, I think quasi-original fan fiction is a waste of time because it has the strengths of neither traditional fan fiction nor original intellectual property.

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 Post Posted: Sun Oct 16, 2011 4:02 pm 
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Well, I probably needed to hear that. As much as I would've liked to do an original Gundam thing, I will admit that after thinking about it for a while, and after reading this post, I think I'm going to scrap it.

I do have plenty (too many) other fanfic ideas, most of them the equivalent of spin-offs and side stories because I don't think I could accurately portray any main character in a way that fans will find 'appropriate to his/her personality'. In short, accidental OOC is always something I'm pretty sure I'll do.

Plus, I don't have to make up a dozen or so new mobile units. I can reuse already existing ones, with a small smattering of new variants or something. Yeah!

I suppose I do want to ask, though, how does one prevent OOC from occuring in their stories? Rigorous research through rewatching episodes hundreds of times? A magical device that allows you to interview the characters? It might be nice to know, just in case.

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 Post Posted: Sun Oct 16, 2011 8:22 pm 
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Locate characters' catchphrases:
[*]Asuka's "What are you, stupid?" from Evangelion
[*]JUST WHO THE HELL DO YOU THINK I AM?!
<--Use these to pinpoint the way that the characters talk.
Watch it observing the specific character. Imagine an original action in your head, then try to fit it into the character's personality.
Find patterns of action.
Use words to describe the character to yourself.

Just some suggestions.

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 Post Posted: Mon Oct 17, 2011 12:03 am 
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I believe catchphrase fixation may do more harm than good in the fight to stave off out-of-character moments. It seems like a good recipe for reducing that character to an absurd caricature.

Look at your examples. Asuka was loud and offensive, and a large part of the fandom has latched onto that to make her a one-dimensional super-witch. By the same token, Kamina was aggressive and fearless, but even he had his moments of introspection and doubt, such as the discovery of his father's remains or the fear that thrummed through him when he thought he and Simon were going to die in of their ill-fated escape attempts.

I think your best bet is to watch a given series and study the cast very closely. Pick up on their ticks and reactions. See what is said about them without being outright said. Think of what this character has to say and how they say it.

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 Post Posted: Mon Oct 17, 2011 3:52 am 
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Imperial wrote:
I'll admit that I have been guilty of this in the past as well, but I've found the original Gundam universe is always a recipe for failure.

If you're a fan fiction fan, you don't really care about these characters or this conflict or this setting. It's barely fan fiction anymore because there's nothing to arouse that "fan" component anymore. If you like reading original content, then these slavish trappings of a preexisting work will likely turn you off.

I have to ask if it's really going to fulfill you as a writer. Like I said earlier, I've taken a stab at an original Gundam work. Then I realized it was a waste of time when I could just strip it of all the unnecessary fan fiction trappings to make it a personally satisfying story.

By the same token, couldn't you pour all of this creativity into a "purer" example of fan fiction if you want to enjoy the fan base that comes along with fan fiction as a medium? There's enough material in any given Gundam work for more work. A Gundam X prequel about the Seventh Space War, a Gundam 00 spin off about the period of unification between the seasons, yet another spin off side story set in the Universal Cenutry's sprawling history, etc.

Basically, I think quasi-original fan fiction is a waste of time because it has the strengths of neither traditional fan fiction nor original intellectual property.


I would agree partially,i do think their have been succesfull AU in Gundam series, so a fanfic is not much different. I personally have delved into it a few times. The one thing i find that I'm always drawn to is using space colonies, and some kind of cyber-enhanced newtypeish kind of deal.Basically, my issue is that I'm grounded in the Gundam framework. If i start to write a "Gundam" story,it ends up deviating too far, and as you said i get bound by the trappings of the universe, but i find when i do an original, it ends up being too much like Gundam anyways. I think I'm gonna try my hand at a side story around the UC 0087-0089 mark, and then maybe try to jump back onto my original. Which already has a plan that's far too long and epic for me to pull off properly at the moment, and still has too much Gundam in it.

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 Post Posted: Mon Oct 17, 2011 7:38 am 
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Speaking for myself, I chose to write an original Gundam AU because I had something specific I wanted to explore that didn't really fit into the other universes. Athene is an expy of Soma, but I didn't make it a 00 fic because I dislike 00 in general, and despise Allelujah in particular. However, as much as I hate him, I feel that derailing his character would be stupid and petty - there will be a character in my story that is essentially him with his negative qualities intensified, but I'll still try to avoid any character bashing (well almost - there is a line I threw in there about "Yelling somebody's name out over and over isn't gonna de-brainwash them")

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 Post Posted: Mon Oct 17, 2011 10:51 am 
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I feel that there is nothing wrong with poking fun at certain things, as long as it doesn't go overboard (unless its a comedy story, and I don't usually do comedy stories), except for a story I posted here with flying Anfs shooting down Jinxs.

Yeah, back to the topic at hand.

Watching and studying characters shouldn't be too hard. I usually study combat scenes intensely anyway so I can estimate how well different mobile suits could combat each other if they weren't being skewered and blasted by Gundams. One of the first mental matches in my head was a Hizack versus a Zaku. Take a guess who won.

I find it even more difficult studying grunt suits in 00, though. In UC timeline Gundam, grunt suit battles often do show up. In Gundam Wing, grunt suit battles showed up. Not really in 00, though. The closest thing was the A-Laws GN-XIIIs versus Karaba's antiques, and those battles were supremely one-sided. My only clues to how well a Tieren Ground Type could perform against, say, a Realdo, is just personal conjecture.

I'm convinced that the Realdo's mobility would make it dance in circles around a Tieren, but that the Tieren is capable of taking quite a bit of punishment. In episode 2, at least two Tierens are seen taking smoothbore cannon shots and showing no signs of damage (none that I could see at least). Granted, a linear rifle is more powerful, but still. Plus, the Realdo is thin (the price of high mobility), and also in episode 2, an Anf is seen firing two or three smoothbore shots in quick succession (I think, my memory's fuzzy), and I'm convinced that a couple of smoothbore shots could severely damage a Realdo's limbs. Plus, the kinetic energy from a smoothbore shot could 'derail' a Realdo's balance, which would be key to keeping the unit airborne and mobile. Yet again in episode 2 (one of the only times we even see Tieren Ground Types), a Tieren is seen taking smoothbore shots and being pushed back by them. I'd hate to see what that kinetic force could do to a Realdo.

As stated, though, this is just my opinion, and any proof I have can hardly be called real proof. We never see Tierens get shot by linear rifles. We never see Realdos get shot by smoothbore cannons. We'll never know who would win in such a fight.

(Oh, and the Hizack won. Don't hate me for that.)

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 Post Posted: Tue Oct 18, 2011 6:23 am 
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I don't think it's a major problem if your fight scenes do not reflect the "canon" tech 100%; if you're close enough most people will take it in stride. For example, in CE I've often been confused about whether or not a positron reflector can block also conventional weapons, and alternatively can a beam shield that blocks just about anything handle a positron blaster. You will find that quite often the canon series themselves are quite inconsistent in this.

On the topic mentioned here, I don't see any harm in indulging in original Gundam storylines; they might actually be helpful in getting your creative juices flowing. You know, you'd have something set and ready to lean on while you flex your own characters and plot to span the story. As Imperial said, though, it lacks the benefit of fanfic being more recognizable (=more readers) and at the same time is not your intellectual property. But as an exercise it might be good.

Of course, exercises and actual projects both need to be taken to the finish line, so if your problem is not finishing anything, taking a very original and different storyline can either tire you out or fire you up. Think of how you are as a writer in very real, practical terms, not continue on fantasizing about what kind of a writer you could be, if you had the time and the resources and so on. That last part is just plain fooling yourself; many people are not attracted to writing as much as they are to the idea of themselves as writers. Rather write too much and finish properly than too little with unfinished projects.

Saying this, I don't intend to be breaking anyone's balls. :mrgreen: It's just something I, and some other buddies of mine who've tried their hand at writing, have had to come to terms with.

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 Post Posted: Wed Oct 26, 2011 4:09 pm 
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Der Bigen Slicen
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Imperial wrote:
I believe catchphrase fixation may do more harm than good in the fight to stave off out-of-character moments. It seems like a good recipe for reducing that character to an absurd caricature.

Or they go even further and make up nonexistant catchphrases. 'Cause I don't know about any of you guys but I don't remember Duo calling Wufei "Wu-man" at any point in Wing, Endless Waltz or any of the manga.

Here's the second episode outline for my MSG story. Again, I'd like to mention that I don't have any problems with the original MSG story, this is just a little experiment of mine that will likely live out only in outline form for the foreseeable future. The outline for the first episode is back on page 8 of this thread.

Mobile Suit Gundam-A New Translation
Episode 2: The Precipice


Onboard the White Base, Ensign Bright Noa is close to panic. It seems he’s the only senior command officer left, everyone else in either a non-com or has a different specialization. Technically the ship’s Chief Engineer heavily outranks him but is needed in engineering and can’t command the ship at the same time. One of the bridge operators spots the Gundam and Bright opens a channel to it. He is shocked to see Amuro and Fraw inside and even more shocked to learn that Amuro single-handedly defeated the Zakus. He orders Amuro to bring the Gundam to the ship immediately. At the same time, he contacts the Ball squadron outside the ship and learns that Connor is the only one left. Connor says that the attacking Zakus have retreated and his squad was only able to damage them some but not destroy them. Bright tells Connor to continue to patrol the colony and alert them if the Zakus or their mothership attacks again.

As the White Base lands those on the bridge suddenly notice a large crowd of civilians rushing towards the ship. They seem to want to come onboard the ship through the open hatch but the sight of the Gundam gives them pause. Bright and some of the ship’s crew come out and demand what the civilians are doing there and not in one of the colony shelters. A dark-haired young woman answers that damage to the colony’s infrastructure has resulted in them being locked out from the shelters. They were trying to get into the Federation military base but a warship is a good prospect too. Initially Bright doesn’t want to let the civilians onboard and wants Amuro to get out of the Gundam. Ensign Ryu Jose arrives in an RX-75 Guntank and explains that only an RX-77-5 Guncannon and a bunch of spare parts have survived the Zeon’s attack. The Chief Engineer points out that White Base is severely short-handed after most of the crew was killed in the ambush. Without many options, Bright makes a difficult decision and tells the civilians that he will let the aboard the ship if they agree to become temporary crewmembers. Some people are opposed to this, especially Kai Shiden, but the dark-haired woman reminds them all that their chances of surviving are much higher aboard a brand new Federation warship than in defenseless shelters/life boats. Kai and a few others aren’t convinced but Bright points out that the Zeon have destroyed plenty of colonies over the last few months and surely won’t hesitate to do it again. Kai, ever the snark, shoots right back that if the Federation hadn’t been developing weapons onboard the colony then the Zeon wouldn’t ever have come here. Bright gets up in his face and says that he really doesn’t care to blame the blame game, Kai can go or stay, he’s not forcing anyone to come aboard the White Base. Technically he shouldn’t even let civilians on the ship anyway. After this only a few people decide to try and seek out functioning lifeboats and remarkably Kai stays. Bright thanks the dark-haired woman for her help and asks her name. She says its Mirai Yashima.

Meanwhile, Char has escaped the colony and flown back to his Musai with his normal suit maneuvering pack. He informs Dren as to what happened and curses the Denim team for their recklessness. He mentions the Gundam and how it wiped out the three attacking Zakus but says that the pilot is obviously not trained. Dren wonders if they should make another attack or request reinforcements. Char scoffs at the idea, saying that if they called in backup it would tarnish his reputation as the Red Comet and everyone else on this mission as well. Besides, he is still extremely confident that they can win, especially as he’s now going to sortie personally.

Onboard the White Base, controlled chaos reigns. The Federation base survivors load up the Guncannon mobile suit and all the spare parts from the V Project that survived. The remaining crewmembers try to find appropriate jobs for the civilians to do. Hyato, after getting over the shock of seeing Fraw and Amuro in the Gundam heads up to the bridge with Marker and Job John. Bright introduces Amuro to Ryu. Bright wants Ryu to take Amuro’s place in the Gundam but Ryu is reluctant, having not had any training piloting the Gundam. Bright asks Amuro how he even got into the Gundam and Amuro tells a half-truth that he knew because his father is Tem Ray. This makes sense to Bright as Tem was one of the principal designers of the Gundam but he’s still a little suspicious. Ryu asks if Amuro was the one who defeated the Zakus and he says he was. Both Bright and Ryu are impressed, as Amuro is apparently a civilian with no training. They decide that Amuro will pilot the Gundam after all, reminding him not to detonate any more MS reactors. Amuro is a little reluctant but he does want to help everyone get off the colony and escape. Just as they’re about to close the hangar, a blond girl stumbles into the hangar covered in dust. Amuro recognizes her from the racetrack and helps her onboard. He introduces himself and she tells him her name is Sayla.

Char boards his custom red Zaku and gives the order for them to move out. Char and the other Zakus will go into the colony and destroy the Federation ship and the rest of the mobile suit project while the Musai’s provide backup. Connor sees their thruster exhaust and warns the White Base they have incoming.
On White Base, Hyato is helping out with engineering and Fraw and Sayla are working in the CIC. Kai doesn’t seem to have a clear job yet as he asks Job John why the ship is called White Base as he thinks it's a stupid name. Job says that it's a codename as the ship hasn’t been formally commissioned yet. Bright notes that they need someone who’s actually trained in piloting to fly the ship. Mirai steps forward and says she’s a trained pilot although she’s never flown anything quite like White Base before. Bright finally remembers why her name is familiar and asks her is her family lives in the neutral Side 6. She replies that yes, she is a member of those Yashimas and the reason she’s on Side 7 is kinda complicated. There’s no time to ask as Bright receives Connor’s message that Char’s forces are incoming. Looking around at his rag-tag crew, Bright orders Ryu and Amuro on standby and tells Mirai to launch White Base. Down in the hangar, Amuro climbs into the Gundam in a newly acquired pilot suit. The White Base lifts off to fly into battle.

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 Post Posted: Fri Oct 28, 2011 8:23 pm 
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I almost have the first chapter of Legends finished and I wanted to run a thought by you all.

I had toyed with the idea of making Lacus a pilot because you can do that in some of the Gundam games but no matter how hard I try I really can't see it. Yeah, she might have flown the Infinite Justice for a few minutes in Destiny but I just can't see her as a combat pilot, even if she did it Kira-style and didn't kill anyone.

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 Post Posted: Fri Oct 28, 2011 9:46 pm 
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Arbiter GUNDAM wrote:
-snip-


Where's the dialogue D:?


And @ Arbiter in your fic, did you tone down the Mary-Sue-ness of Lacus? It would be bad for her to also gain main character pilot abilities, too. Lacus is broken as hell.

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 Post Posted: Sat Oct 29, 2011 8:54 am 
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Pilot's Doomed Girlfriend

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Broken tier:

Hakumen
Turn A Gundam
Lacus Clyne?

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 Post Posted: Sat Oct 29, 2011 12:25 pm 
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Er, what dialogue? I'm not sure what you mean.

As for Lacus being a Mary-Sue... oh you mean her magical powers to get people to do what she wants? Yeah, somehow I don't think that would work on guys like Scirroco, Char, Ribbons or Ali-al Saachez.

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 Post Posted: Sat Oct 29, 2011 2:55 pm 
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Arbiter GUNDAM wrote:
Er, what dialogue? I'm not sure what you mean.

I think prog is asking why there is no dialogue in the story. You can tell a good story without dialogue, however. Just use dialogue when it's the point of that part of the writing. I tend to use dialogue sparingly.

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 Post Posted: Sat Oct 29, 2011 3:05 pm 
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But I don't know what story he's talking about?

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 Post Posted: Sat Oct 29, 2011 5:29 pm 
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Well, there was no dialogue in the whole thing. You describe the characters telling each other things , but they never say anything actively. Now, like Seraphic said, you can tell a good story without dialogue, but it was sort of confusing for me when I first read it. Hence, I reacted the way I did.

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 Post Posted: Sun Oct 30, 2011 1:02 am 
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For some reason your quote didn't come through, at least on my end. I assume you're talking about Legends? Then, the italics text was supposed to be spoken dialogue that you don't actually see spoken. BTW, the first chapter is now up, give it once over. :)

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 Post Posted: Sun Oct 30, 2011 12:44 pm 
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Oh, no, I meant MSG A New Translation.

I see what happened, lol. You thought I was talking about your post about Legends whilst I was talking about the post right above.

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