General Fanfiction Discussion 2: Electric Boogaloo

[Seraphic]

Hi Arctic,

This is the right place to ask, so don't worry. There are only a few things I noticed:

Maybe you had glossed this over in your explanation because it's not so important in the grand scheme of things, but I think the start of your giant robots for the human race could be placed a little better. You said "[humans] managed to build giant robot workers which are able to take a large amount of resources into space and construct giant Space colonies". A humanoid robot wouldn't really be able to move resources as well as other conventional vehicles, but yes, they would be better for space construction.

The only other technical thing that bothered me was how or why the emergent ability of technopathics was discovered. Scientists were just "testing for it"?? How would anyone even know they should be doing that? And how exactly does technopathics work? I assume that since you said it works as a universal controller, a human using this ability should be able to control anything with an antenna. With this explanation, you can create a more realistic explanation as to how technopathics was discovered where remote devices began to respond without manual input.

One problem I see is that the Magi and Psions better learn how to shield their machines from this or else they would lose the war very easily. The problem is that if they shield their machines too heavily, they won't be able to communicate between themselves, either.

Also, I don't think there is any way that you can call technopathics an "evolutionary response". If a species changes due to environment and "predators" I think this should be more called "adaptation" than evolution. You also can't call this evolution because it happens spontaneously to the entire population instead of mutating in a single individual and being passed on from there.

And this is just a tiny detail, but do you have any other ideas aside from "Senti-Mechs" for your robots? It just doesn't roll off the tongue, you know? I suggest Sentience Frame.

Anyway, that's all that caught my eye. Sorry about the technical nature of everything I pointed out. I hope that helps, and just ask if there is anything else you want to talk about.

[ArcticHeart]

Hi Arctic,

This is the right place to ask, so don't worry. There are only a few things I noticed:

Maybe you had glossed this over in your explanation because it's not so important in the grand scheme of things, but I think the start of your giant robots for the human race could be placed a little better. You said "[humans] managed to build giant robot workers which are able to take a large amount of resources into space and construct giant Space colonies". A humanoid robot wouldn't really be able to move resources as well as other conventional vehicles, but yes, they would be better for space construction.

The only other technical thing that bothered me was how or why the emergent ability of technopathics was discovered. Scientists were just "testing for it"?? How would anyone even know they should be doing that? And how exactly does technopathics work? I assume that since you said it works as a universal controller, a human using this ability should be able to control anything with an antenna. With this explanation, you can create a more realistic explanation as to how technopathics was discovered where remote devices began to respond without manual input.

One problem I see is that the Magi and Psions better learn how to shield their machines from this or else they would lose the war very easily. The problem is that if they shield their machines too heavily, they won't be able to communicate between themselves, either.

Also, I don't think there is any way that you can call technopathics an "evolutionary response". If a species changes due to environment and "predators" I think this should be more called "adaptation" than evolution. You also can't call this evolution because it happens spontaneously to the entire population instead of mutating in a single individual and being passed on from there.

And this is just a tiny detail, but do you have any other ideas aside from "Senti-Mechs" for your robots? It just doesn't roll off the tongue, you know? I suggest Sentience Frame.

Anyway, that's all that caught my eye. Sorry about the technical nature of everything I pointed out. I hope that helps, and just ask if there is anything else you want to talk about.

Thank you for your input Seraphic, and don't worry about the technical stuff, that's why I'm here. Honestly I was expecting more critique about the story set up, the inclusion of psionics and magic in the story, the presence of technopaths at all, and other such things. These technical things are actually very helpful as long as there's nothing wrong with the premise.

Right, as tot he first thing, thanks for pointing that out, so I've changed the set up so that the factories have launch catapults and in addition to robot workers, large transports were constructed that were used to transport both the workers and resources into space and later they were modified to transport the populations into space once the colonies were built. To avoid the trouble of resource shortages I'll add into the back story that Asteroid Mining and smaller (than space colonies) mining stations (like Gundam UC's Luna stations) have been in use for some time, and the factories were the places that the set ups for the mining bases began at and are just the last three that haven't been destroyed or taken over by the psions and magi armies.

Now on to the technopaths, which I also appreciate. To add to things, technopathics can attempt to control machines that take input from electronic sources, so nothing purely mechanical or steam drive ect, and the discovery was first noticed when children who couldn't reach small electrically controlled toys (remote controlled cars and such) were able to get the toys to respond and move as though they were holding the controller, which is when testing begun. As for the Magi and Psionic machines, Technopathics is like a universal controller in that it's not just keyed to a specific type of electronic device, but in this case it's not strong enough to override physical inputs, so they couldn't reach into the magi armor or psion frames while they were being used and usurp control from the person using them, they could, theoretically, control the items when they were uninhabited, but the psion frames are too loose to hold together when not being worn, and the magi armor would only act as a shell of a robot as they have no weapons apart from the magic enhancing technology mounted in them and other magi could just destroy them, that or the armor would only really work with a pilot, since it's powered armor likely without any really advanced on board AI. Also part of the way that Technopathics can't override physical commands is that if a machine has an interrupter switch with a clear on and off position, like a light switch but not a television, if the switch is in the "off" position and the circuit is broken the machine can't be controlled at all because they can't psychically flip the switch to finish the circuit so the Magi could likely build interrupters into their armor to avoid that.

As an addition to that, controlling specific machines with technopathics gets easier the longer one works with a specific machine and gains a familiarity with the way the machine works, like getting used to a favorite tool you've owned for years. In the case of the mechs used by the technopaths, initially they would mostly be limited to flipping the invisible "on" button on their mechs but after a while the machines would begin to respond to their thoughts when they're in the pilot's seat, moving to execute attacks, dodges, or blocks before a physical input is made, of course that would likely not come until very late in the story and physical inputs would still override the mental ones. Thus attempting to reach into a machine or piece of technology unfamiliar to them and attempting to do somethign complex, such as make a robot walk, instead of somethign simple, like changing a television channel, would be next to impossible and completely impossible if a pilot were in the machine controlling it at the time..

As for calling Technopathics an "adaptation" that's fine and it does make more sense than evolutionary response, unless you think I need to dig more deeply into that.

As for the "senti-mechs" thing, that was suggested by a friend when I couldn't think of a good name, but yeah, Sentience Frames sounds better, with Senti-Frame for short unless that doesn't work either, in which case it will just be sentience frames.

Thanks for the input, I've made these changes listed here to the original document outline, Also I'm thinking of just calling the weapons "plasma weapons" and dropping the shine thing altogether, unless you guys think that works.

[Seraphic]

I didn't find any particular problem with your setup of a war between Magi, Psions, and humans. There really shouldn't be a problem of putting all of these elements together because this is the world you are building and you can make it however you like. Now, sometimes you will see an inexperienced writer over-extend themselves and put a huge smattering of random things together, but this is not the impression I got from you since you were able to describe things fairly well in a simple summary. I imagine that if you're going to be as detailed as this in a summary then the actual writing will be just fine.

When I name things, I go by the sound of it. If you go by this method, what is important is balancing and connecting hard sounds and soft sounds. For instance, the name "Tengen Toppa Gurren Lagann" has many T's and G's which produce hard syllables, making the name sound strong and powerful. I name a lot of my female characters with soft sounding names with lots of R's, L's, M's, and N's such as Rielle, Sana, and Marian.

I tried suggesting Sentience Frame because it has a lot of soft syllables pointed with a hard T in the middle. It flows well because of the S sound from -ence going into the soft F of Frame. Again, if you want to shorten it, Senti-Frame does not flow well because the disconnect of sounds where the hyphen occurs. I would suggest you shorten it as "S-Frame" if you want to shorten the name, or even just Frame since I'm sure your readers will understand in context that you are referring to a mecha.

To be honest, I kind of enjoyed the fact that you called them Shine weapons. It's different from what you usually see in these sci-fi stories, but still fitting. Falling back on plain old "plasma" weapons wouldn't be as unique.

And I forgot one thing from last time:

You mentioned the Shine Swords of your Sentience Mech #1 would melt or overheat the projector if overused. I wanted to say that when plasma is contained in a magnetic sheath, it NEVER makes contact with whatever device is holding or producing it, so there should be no way for the plasma to destroy or damage the emitters on your Shine Swords. Similar things may occur for all of your other Shine weapons, like the plasma bolt never actually making contact with the barrel of a Shine Rifle.

If any of your Shine weapons would be overheating, I think it would be from their power sources or other electronics being damaged from high current, or from producing enough energy to ionize this plasma to begin with.

I'm not sure if you wanted to fiddle around with plasma physics too much in your story, but you might find the research to be interesting or even fun like I once did. Of course, you should take liberties with physics or technology so you are able to tell your story without fretting over realism.

[ArcticHeart]

Thanks Seraphic, again, that is useful advice. I'll Stick with Sentience Frames for now and Shine Weapons.

As for the Swords, hmm, well I thought of this while walking home today, since shooting an energy bolt is relatively simple compared to forcing energy into a sword shape, the containment field (or whatever I call it) can only function properly for a limited time after which the sword shuts down, as attempting to use the sword without a completely reliable containment field would have unknown and possibly dangerous results.

Also I created the outlines for the five main pilots, I used the "five-man band" formula from TV tropes beacuse it was a good outline to start from. I don't have any names yet, nor names for the mechs, but here are the basic ideas behind each character.

The Hero: Female, pilot of #5, a kind and approachable person who has great skill as a leader and pilot as well as the technopathic ability to operate the weapon pods. She is a great leader and often puts the needs of her team ahead of her own, using her Frame’s shield to protect the others or her pods to cover them when they’re in a bad way. Lieutenant Commander

The Lancer: Male, pilot of #2, a serious career minded soldier who plans to remain in the military even after the war has ended, if it ever does. He is serious and focused on the battlefield and while not as approachable as his squad leader he is a capable leader and thus is the second in command on the battlefield. Lieutenant

The Big Guy: Male, pilot of #1, a kind and gentle person off the battlefield and a serious near berserker pilot on the battlefield; he is a skilled hand-to-hand combatant even outside of his Sentience Frame. Tallest member of the team and his mood swings sometimes make his allies concerned; he may have a repressed psychotic streak that he uses his battlefield time to burn off so he won’t have to show his violence off the battlefield but this is up for debate. Lieutenant Jr. Grade

The Smart Girl: Female, pilot of #3, a stoic and serious young woman who is very analytical and focused both on and off the battlefield. She is the team’s strategist and a skilled sniper with even normal weapons but she lacks the ability to command on the fly effectively, at least at the start. She wears glasses as she is near sighted. Lieutenant Jr. Grade

The Chick: Male, pilot of #4, a flirtatious and self styled “ladies man” who sees himself as sophisticated; while his female teammates find his actions irritating he is actually quite popular with woman and good at wooing them. Many people find it odd that he is such a good pilot when they take his strange personality into account but he wouldn’t be a member of the first five spearheads if he wasn’t a good pilot and he’s very skilled at dodging enemy attacks. He usually carries a yellow rose with him that has had the thorns removed to avoid poking himself. Lieutenant Jr. Grade

[tehprognoob]

Maybe you'd want to break from TV Tropes's suggestions. Those are based off of observations of tons of prior work, which means much of the stuff is pretty old. Though, I must admit, TVT's suggestions definitely work. They are pretty solid and will not fail you unless you fail them.


Question:
What do you think the effect of suddenly losing a national leader be, in a case where said leader has been one with the state (as in l'État, c'est moi! ) for the past 1,417 years of general prosperity? No uprising to that point, no economic downturn, but the leader suddenly dies on worldwide TV and falls off a viewing box several stories tall, smacks into the ground and is held half-suspended by a scrap of clothing caught on a spike on the building--a very demeaning, helpless pose regardless of life or death (Reasoning behind said events is not important).

[ArcticHeart]

I'll stick with my outlines for now.

AS to your question, well instant stunned shock immediately followed by a purlogned period or mourning. As for longer term effects there would probably be some fighting over who could take office next, or how it would be possible, possibly an economic downturn, but that's just my opinion. Other people here would probably have a better answer.

[Antares]

The problem with the TV tropes line-up is that they are stereotypical, and so to the point of bringing nothing new to the story. It feels a bit like you might be phoning it in with the character work. It's fine for beginner's work, though.

@ ArcticHeart: As for the general overlay of your world, it certainly is challenging enough to stick too. You've got a lot of things figured out, and probably a lot more you'll fill in as you go along.

[ArcticHeart]

Yes for the moment I am kinda phoning in the character design, this is mainly because, well, character designs are a lot more challenging for me than mecha or world designs. The characters I create tend to be basic at start and evolve as I write them because that's what's worked for me so far. The most defined cahracters I've created (for another story that can't be posted here) took me about a decade to finally make him into a unique and interesting character and the other characters in the story with him took a few years each to develop. working from a template seemed the easiest way to get basic outlines down, and that's what they are, outlines, and much will likely change between then and when I finally get around to writing this, also I'm working on another non-mech project, ok a few, that are sucking up my time so I'll be able to develop them more by the time the story gets going.

And yeah, I tend to fill in details as I go along, writing out the synopsis or outlines before I start the story and filling int he finer details as things go, I'll stick with those character designs for now until I think up new ones but what will remain are the genders and ranks of the character, I specifically want a female in the lead (both command wise and story wise) because there aren't enough mecha series, or any that I can actually think up right now, that have a female as teh prime protagonist. Also due tot he setup the characters will be soldiers, not "accidental pilots" because I feel that pops up too much in mecha shows.

[Arbiter GUNDAM]

I've just completed a list of mobile suits that i might use or reference in future fanfics. You can check it out here, if you want to see what some of 'em are about.

[Arbiter GUNDAM]

Well, I've made a decision. Instead of having Macross Odyssey run as a full-length story, I think I'm going to switch it to a series of one-shots. Ultimately I just wanted to tell the story of how the Megaroad-01 disappeared and I can do that without writing the next Hunt For Red October. Having the characters ride off into the sunset is all well and good (that was one of the best scenes of Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade) but Macross always gave me the "Hikaru, Misa and Minmay ride off into the sunset with implication that they died a cold, lonely death in deep space" vibe. They deserve a bit better than that I think.

Recently, I've become enamored of expanding on the Jenius family. Personally, I know very little about them. There's Max, Millia and their eight daughters and not much else. To sum up:

Max and Millia: First Macross and Macross 7.
Komillia: The baby that saved the universe!
Emillia: Hangs out with Basara, tries to kiss him, has a dumb kid fall down her macronized cleavage.
Moaramia: Hangs out with the coolest adoptive parents ever in Macross M3 (Dreamcast).
Miracle: Almost killed Millia to give birth to her.
Mylene: Joins a rock band, wants to get her parents back together.

I think that's about it.

[tehprognoob]

So, Iam not familiar with the finest details of MSG 0079, and barely have enough time to skim MAHQ's reviews, but want to write a loosely 0079-based rewrite of the original--since it's a rewrite, clasping to the original storyline isn't really a concern--here's a prologue. Can someone check to see if there are any MAJOR inconsistencies with the 0079/UC timeline? Something concretely stated to be otherwise?

Certain embellishments exist, like the addition of aristocracy to the federation, and the earlier appearance of Gundam and GMs.

Spoiler

The beginning Universal Century was marked by mankind’s first true venture into the formation of a worldwide government. At the end of the Common Era, the world had been split by rivalries, conflict and a petty class of governments bent on their own gain. The solution was the greatest diplomatic achievement in human history, far surpassing the establishment of the U.N., NATO, EU or any such loose confederacy of states. No, mankind’s salvation was to come in a central world government known as the Earth Sphere Imperial Federation. Jointly ruled by the people and a hereditary patrician class, it was envisioned to be a second coming of the Roman Empire, one destined to last a thousand years.
Unfortunately, this turned out to be quite a gross overestimate.
U.C. 0019:
The group of space colonies known as Side 3 successfully obtained a charter to be recognized as a Self-Administrated Zone, to be named the “Republic of Side 3,” one of many such sub-nations that exist under the blanket of the Federation as a concession to nationalistic feelings. It made headlines for a day or so until the U.C. 0019 Super Bowl began in what was once the United States. As an almost commonplace occurrence, the Principality of Zeon was soon forgotten.
U.C. 0021:
The Principality, in its need for greater economic development, adopts a massive open-doors policy to immigration, particularly for talented individuals, and slashed economic regulations and corporate taxation to historically low levels, resulting in a massive industrial boom that propelled its economy to record levels of productivity. Among the immigrants was one Professor Minovsky.
U.C. 0025:
The “Newtype Theory” is first suggested, but was so controversial that it did not gain much ground at all. At around the same time, Professor Minovsky develops the equations that would one day lead to the Minovsky Particle fusion reactor.
U.C. 0039:
The first Minovsky-Type Fusion Reactor is lit. As warned, all radio communication was jammed instantly by the mysterious particles. The ESF Navy, recognizing the threat, attempts a (legal) seizure of the reactor. Minovsky and his lab assistants defend their compound, holding out for a three month siege, before Minovsky was accused of and convicted of stealing data from an obscure and little-known charlatan. The military forcibly takes control of the compound at Side 3, inciting much grumbling and protestation by the colonists.
U.C. 0059:
The Zimmermann Company is formed in direct competition with the Earth-side, Luna-based Anaheim Electronics. Both companies begin working on ways to sidestep the problem of Minovsky interference in weaponry.
U.C. 0064:
Zeon Deikun, known as Old Man Deikun and the founder of the Republic of Side 3, is assassinated after an overtly anti-Federation speech at the conclusion of a month-long demonstration against Federation control of the colonies. His right-hand man Degwin Sodo Zavi seizes power, pronouncing the death of Deikun as an act of treacherous murder by the Federation. The local Viceroy of the Federation, a Viscount sent to keep an eye over a Self-Administrated Zone, is mobbed to death. His family escapes the fury of the mob, being on Earth at the time. His eldest son takes over as the titular Viscount with his mother’s help. The experience left a permanent scar on the psyche of the young boy.
U.C. 0070:
Anaheim Electronics hands over a covert set of data to the Federation military. At the same time, the Zimmermann Company begins work on “Mobile Suits” to take advantage of Minovsky jamming in space. They were to be versatile humanoid combat craft that use their shape for greater maneuverability without fear of being shot down by long range artillery, as the Minovsky particles mask their presence.
U.C. 0073:
The Federation embarks on “Project V” to develop a mobile suit to match the theoretical designs leaked by a rat inside the Zimmermann Company.
The Federation attempts to impose heavier taxation on the Colonies, which balk at the very notion. Heavy protestation ensues in which a Federation officer was killed. Retaliatory fire kills thirty protestors. The Colony Republican Guard forcibly evicts all Federation military personnel in the following twelve hours. Degwin Zavi declares a state of emergency and the Federation threatens to shut off all supplies to Side 3 if the Colony Republican Guard does not stand down. Two weeks later, a diplomatic solution is raised. However, at the same time, a secret committee with extraordinary powers is formed to review an armament upgrade to the Guard. The Zimmermann Company is contracted to begin mass production of the first viable combat mobile suit, the MS-05B Zaku I.
U.C. 0078:
The Federation unveiled the finish product of Project V, the RX-78-2 “Gundam,” and its mass-production model, the RGM-79 Gundam Mass-Production Model, known as the “GM.” With these mobile suits in hand, the Federation launches a preemptive assault against the armed forces of Side 3 and its allied colonies. The Republic of Side 3, now renamed the Principality of Zeon by Degwin Zavi in honor of Zeon Deikun, declares independence from the Federation, and launches the Zeon War of Independence. In the ensuing battle, someone blew up a neutral colony, whose remains plummeted to Earth, its impact causing immeasurable damage to Earth and nearly wiping Australia from the map. The billions of casualties ensured that there will be no more diplomatic solutions.

Last bit about Gundam attacking first and the specific conflict between feddies and colonists are changes on my part, I just need a look at the background info and if they fit in with the 0079 plot.

[Dark Duel]

On the subject of rewrites, I have long pondered the idea of doing a rewrite of Gundam Seed Destiny, as I liked a lot of things about how it started (though I had a few minor issues) and I was intensely dissatisfied with its conclusion. I don't have a lot written yet in terms of the summary, but I wanted to get some input on a few of the key concepts and maybe see what could be improved:

Spoiler

The year in which the story begins is Cosmic Era 74, roughly three years after the end of the Bloody Valentine War. The initial circumstances of the story are very similar, except for a few differences in the cast.
- I've decided to eliminate the character of Talia Gladys in favor of giving Yzak Joule command of the Minerva in order to give him a more important role in the story, as well as putting a Commanding Officer in play who's able to continue the noble tradition of slapping the crap out of the main protagonist when necessary. Also, the outcome of Operation: Angel Down will change significantly as a result.
- Speaking of Commanding Officers, I'm thinking of eliminating the character "Neo Roanoke", and I'm open to suggestions as to a replacement. I've considered Lukas O'Donnell, but I'd appreciate other ideas. Also, more attention will be paid to the Eurasian Federation as well, with several characters hailing from that nation joining the cast.
- The role of Kira and his merry band of misfits is going to be severely limited compared to the series.
- Mwu La Flaga is still dead.
- Athrun is going to be a lot less spineless.
- People are going to die, including probably both Kira and Lacus, possibly Athrun, at least one of the Hawke sisters, and maybe a couple of others.

I'm still working on the mecha aspect, but I'm going to heavily cut down on the number of new-model machines appearing at least in the first half of the series. The Destroy Gundam will still appear - but no more than twice (GSD gave us NINE of the blasted things). I'm also considering reducing the number of initial Gundams to appear to two (The Impulse and the Saviour), with the Chaos, Gaia, and Abyss becoming non-Gundam prototypes in the vein of the GuAIZ XFT or the CGUE DEEP Arms.

Right now except for the differences listed above, I haven't really made any major decisions as to alterations to the plot, so I'm open to suggestions/feedback.

[Seraphic]

U.C. 0039:
The first Minovsky-Type Fusion Reactor is lit. As warned, all radio communication was jammed instantly by the mysterious particles.

This part is just fundamentally insane on so many levels. A single reactor can't jam all radio waves in the entire Earth Sphere.

No right-minded engineer or scientist would build a reactor that would instantaneously cripple the human race's ability to communicate upon activation.

Minovsky reactors, let alone any other fusion reactor design, do not spontaneously leak particles into the environment. The created particles are captured and contained in the reactor to keep such a fiasco from happening. (Minovsky reactors actually do not run very well if the generated particles escape because they are used to catalyze the reaction.) All the Minovsky jamming done in UC has to be done by deliberately pumping Minovsky particles into the environment either by using pre-contained particles or specialized generators.

Also, the fact that Minovsky's reactor was seized by the military doesn't make much sense, either. Most projects of that scale are funded by the government, and they would know beforehand if it were dangerous or threatening, and will not even fund the project if it was a liability.

And so what if Minovsky stole data? Why does it even matter if the data originated from some obscure nobody? What are they gonna do about it? Sue him?? Why would a lawsuit end a 3-month seige?

[tehprognoob]

This part is just fundamentally insane on so many levels. A single reactor can't jam all radio waves in the entire Earth Sphere.

Should have specified nearby. Thanks. Will revise the timeline around the reactors. The data part was mainly to put him behind bars and unable to stop the Federation from seizing the reactor.
Otherwise, time to revise...

[Vent Noir]

Random plotbunny time...

(BTW, yes, I am still working on Gundam Storm, there's just been a combination of stuckness and being busy with other things that have meant I haven't got the next chapter done yet)

So I'm getting back into Babylon 5 at the moment, and speculating on the possibility of combining the settings of B5 and Gundam... maybe, if we use 00 as a base, Aeolia Schehenberg was contacted by the Vorlons, prompting the Shadows to get involved with Earth. Maybe the B5 cast (at least the humans) could be incorporated into the 00 world, too... (I'd take great pleasure in seeing John Sheridan nuke Ribbons)

[Antares]

@Vent Noir:

So I'm getting back into Babylon 5 at the moment, and speculating on the possibility of combining the settings of B5 and Gundam... maybe, if we use 00 as a base, Aeolia Schehenberg was contacted by the Vorlons, prompting the Shadows to get involved with Earth. Maybe the B5 cast (at least the humans) could be incorporated into the 00 world, too... (I'd take great pleasure in seeing John Sheridan nuke Ribbons)

Interesting. Just because I like B5, I might be interested in seeing what you do with it. Although I think it might work better in a Gundam setting to place the station is a critical juncture of hyperspace or something to make it more relevant. The downside would be that the show would be quite static, as in tied to the station, and most Gundam shows move around quite a bit. I'm not saying it can't be done, but once you add Gundams, what is our interest in the station? And not to have us too fixed on the Gundams AND the station alone, your the main characters themselves would also have to be captivating.

@Dark Duel:
For the most part I welcome such rewrites. Heck, Phoenix itself was my own rewrite, although as some have said it became more plot-driven than action-driven (in the vein of LoGH, as influences come). Back when GSD was still fresh, the massive disappointment I felt for the show had left me screaming for a rewrite. Luckily time has healed those wounds, but you should still give it a go. Other CE-fans might be interested enough to tune in.

Spoiler

- I've decided to eliminate the character of Talia Gladys in favor of giving Yzak Joule[...]
--> You could do this. Sounds good, even!
- Speaking of Commanding Officers, I'm thinking of eliminating the character "Neo Roanoke", [...] with several characters hailing from that nation joining the cast.
--> Just don't swamp the cast with all the stars of the CE. ShadowCell has had some issues with this, trying to incorporate all of CE but also his original characters, and it can be, well, heavy to follow at times. But seeing as you later talk about axing Mwu, Neo doesn't have to go. You can rename him, though, sure.
- The role of Kira and his merry band of misfits is going to be severely limited compared to the series.
--> Good, although given Kira's "stage magic" you'll be hardpressed to keep him sidelined unless you kill him off.
- Mwu La Flaga is still dead.
--> To me he never was alive in GSD to begin with.
- Athrun is going to be a lot less spineless.
--> Hell yes, I will definitely read your story now!
- People are going to die, including probably both Kira and Lacus, possibly Athrun, at least one of the Hawke sisters, and maybe a couple of others.
--> Oh man, just after you tell me Athrun's going to make a difference you threaten to kill him. Not cool. Oh well, at least make him survive to the end where he can perish in a suitably heroic way. And yeah, apparently you will kill off Kira and Lacus, so yeah, they won't usurp the show that way.

Making the Destroys relevant again is damn good idea, and I recommend it fully. Abyss, Gaia and Chaos might as well be Gundams in my opinion, but that's up to you. You will have to do some mecha upgrades or introduce something new to keep it interesting, though.

That's all for now.

[Arbiter GUNDAM]

Doing some preliminary work for my new Macross fic that I'll be working on alongside Macross Odyssey. So far I'm going with the working title of Macross Delta. I decided on the delta because it's a symbol that means change. It'll take place in the year 2065, fifty-five years after First Macross and about five years after Frontier.

A couple of things I've got done so far are the Valkyrie list for Renegade Squadron. The Renegades are just what their name implies, pilots who aren't part of the UN Spacy forces. I haven't worked out the character details yet, but they're cast somewhat in the vein of the crew of the Serenity from Firefly.

Renegade Squadron

VF-22S Sturmvogel II
VF-19 Excalibur
VF-11C Thunderbolt
VF-17D Nightmare
VF-4 Lightning III
VF-14M Vampire

These Valkyries were "acquired" from various sources, so UN Spacy would probably be more likely to call the Renegades pirates!

Since I plan for quite a few fleet battles to take place in this story, the good ole' Macross will be making a comeback after a fashion. We know from MFrontier that the flagship of the 117th Research Fleet was the SDFN-4 Global. The Global was apparently a mass-produced version of the original SDF-1 Macross and according to the Macross Mecha Manual, twelve of these ships were produced. The only other ship name they had there was the SDFN-1 Hayase. Given these facts, I worked up a little list of my own.

SDFN-1 Hayase
SDFN-2 Ichijo
SDFN-3 Minmay
SDFN-4 Global [DESTROYED-2048]
SDFN-5 Fokker
SDFN-6 Jenius
SDFN-7 Enterprise
SDFN-8 LaSalle
SDFN-9 Fallyna
SDFN-10 Prometheus
SDFN-11 Daedalus
SDFN-12 Ranger

Taking a cue from the names Hayase and Global, I figured that these mass-produced Macross-class were all named after heroes of Space War I and famous ships involved in the war. That's where the names Enterprise and Ranger come from and I'm sure that any self-respecting Macross fan will recognize Daedalus and Prometheus.

[Imperial]

tehprognoob: The impracticalities of a world-crippling reactor have already been addressed, so I'll go the political route.

You seem to have accelerated Side 3's growth an independence as a side effect of making them more overtly the "good guys" of this story. (I balk at the idea, Zeon being as full of murderous zealots as it is, but it's your story.) I think the Federation aristocracy and first strike already convey that message well enough.

What's more, I doubt there would be much of a move for things like Self-Administrated Zones that early in the UC calendar. The colonies would likely be heavily dependent on the Federation at that point, and there just hasn't been enough time to develop feelings of "otherness." One of the interesting facets of the Principality is that by the time hostilities begin, there are entire generations of Spacenoids who have never even set foot on Earth. In 0019, there might be some "pure" Spacenoids, but these are going to be a bunch of teenagers who can't shape Side-wide policy in any remarkable way. All the movers and shakers will have migrated from the Earth they likely continue to see as another home.

[tehprognoob]

^Why I posted this in the first place.

Reactor was a mistake in writing combined with lack of UC knowledge. Colony growth...well, I do have to fix that. Bear in mind that this was a skeleton of a timeline created in under 20 minutes, and that I haven't touched it since.

Thanks anyway. If I end up going with this fic I'll use the things you wrote.

[Vent Noir]

Okay, I need help.

I've been delayed due to being busy and procrastinating, but I'm trying to get on with the next chapter of Gundam Storm. I'm now about a third of the way through, and I seem to have hit a brick wall with the battle scene.

Spoiler

The setup is that the Lunapact forces are trying to take down the Gallipoli in the short time their vectors cross, while the Gallipoli tries to get past them to Moresby Base. Pallas engages Athene, of course, while Matthews and Perez engage Shane and Alan. I did the first part of the Pallas/Athene fight, but I seem to be blanking on how the other fight scene would go, and how to make it interesting. I've gotten as far as Matthews attempting to engage Alan in melee, but from there, I'm just blanking.

So, can anyone help? I feel embarrassed for asking, I know I should be able to do better than this. It's especially frustrating given the fact that I have most of the story outlined, but the details just aren't coming to me.