Mobile Suit Gundam SEED ETERNITY

Your own tale of two mecha.
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yazi88
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Re: Mobile Suit Gundam SEED ETERNITY

Link ain't working....
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ShadowCell
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Re: Mobile Suit Gundam SEED ETERNITY

um

i dunno what to tell you, it works fine for me
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yazi88
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Re: Mobile Suit Gundam SEED ETERNITY

My bad, it works now, congrats on finishing this fic, I've been a follower from the begining.
NyxOne
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Re: Mobile Suit Gundam SEED ETERNITY

Well, that was a remarkably upbeat ending, as far as one could go, in this case, especially since I thought that the conclusion would be comprised of a killing spree of named characters unrivalled by any other chapter. Only five casualties is quite surprising.

Though, on a related note, really, upon reading this, I suppose I find myself agreeing with WindamX's earlier assertion about Valentine. It doesn't help that she almost went without mention here, and had virtually no dialogue, even after Zero-Two's death. Even though she was the Gihren Zabi of the setting, Kira's death really did seem to nullify most of the importance she had outside of that. Just a little disappointing.
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The Green Flame
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Re: Mobile Suit Gundam SEED ETERNITY

Well that was a fun ride. Gotta agree with Nyx and Windam, that was a pretty lackluster way to go. Not that it bugged me all that much since I didn't care all that much about her to begin with past 'Oh yea, the chick who brainwashed Kira'.

Also, oh Lily. You were easily the funnest of the Emily cheer squad, good thing you lived instead of Trojan.
NyxOne
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Re: Mobile Suit Gundam SEED ETERNITY

Here's a small question, too, going through things.

What became of the Beelzebub?
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ShadowCell
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Re: Mobile Suit Gundam SEED ETERNITY

it kerploded and i probably forgot to mention it somewhere >>
NyxOne
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Re: Mobile Suit Gundam SEED ETERNITY

Hm.

Seeing as a number of things just seemed to 'disappear' in this climactic battle...
Antares
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Re: Mobile Suit Gundam SEED ETERNITY

Alrighty then. Eps 47-50. Let's try to keep this in order as well as read through the ramblings of other people so far.

Ep 47:
-Interesting to see Meyers loose perspective in the end. Of course, he had thought if he just finished off Djibril, all the other pieces would've fallen into place automatically. Poor idiot.

-Somehow I'm envisioning a suicide run by the Charlemagne to crash into the ZAKU Goliath or Messiah. Let's see if I'm right!

-Varder's death felt somewhat meaningless, but you can't make every death have a massive impact in the final battle. It tends to be that when they start screaming in battle, defeat is only moments away. Soma Taozi also mentioned that it's a fine line to balance, especially since I know based on previous "lessons learned" that you won't be going all grim-dark on us. One thing though; many fights have become centered around maiming the mobile suit, to the point that there isn't much more less than the torso, and then maybe they die. If you can address this somehow, maybe add a clean kill somewhere that just slips past the guards.
"I cost you nothing you hadn't already lost," Emily shot back with a scowl.
This was one of the better lines in the whole ep, well said Emily.
"I cost you nothing you hadn't already lost," Emily shot back with a scowl.
"world", or rather "word"?

Anyway, in true SEED style, I expect the "Allies" to withdraw once, maybe in the next ep, only to mount up for the real final charge.


Ep 48:
-Oh OK, they're already having the break at the start of this ep. Carry on. :D

-Meyrin as Lacus... well, at least she won't sing. Please, don't make/let her sing.

-Nice nod to SEED with Athrun and Vivieka kissing, following (almost) the same discussion as between Athrun and Cagalli. ;)

-Ooooooooh Rau is getting complacent, just once let Captain Crazymask be caught off-guard, oh pretty please!

-I'm still waiting for the presumably dead Djibril to jump out like Gary Busey in Predator 2... and he didn't. Unexpected. ;)

-Sven's comeback and subsequent death felt actually a bit touching, well done.

-You know its interesting to think what goes on in the heads of the ZAFT Remnant; they're dying by the score, whittling away at their already dwindled numbers. It's kind of sad how they can't turn back, that this really had become a fight to the death for them now. I wonder if any of them had enough self-reflection to realize that, seeing how Kara, Gary and Juarez came to a short end without a real chance to recant.


Ep 49:
-I guess Kira is scraping the bottom of his reasons-why-killing-is-justified barrel since his arguments are getting a little repetitive ("You just don't understand, rrraaaagh!!!").

-Indeed the Green Flame was right, it's like The Return of the Jedi all over again in some bits of dialog. :D

-Also noted the same mistake as Soma Taozi did.

-Wow. Just.. wow. Kira, dead. Rau, dead. Shinn and Athrun almost out of it, their Gundams suitably thrashed after their respective epic final battles. Guess you wanted to give your own cast the final stage, huh? :) Although I will say this: seeing them talk after the battle would be most awesome:
Shinn: Yeah so I killed Kira.
Athrun: For real? Well done. I killed Rau?
Shinn: Yeah? He had it coming.
Athrun: Damn we're good.
Shinn: That we are.

-Related to this, I can partially understand WindamX's comment about Kira biting it, but then again, you can't make them all massively meaningful. Besides, after Sven's redemption, it would've been a bit cheesy to make Kira "realize" that oh my god, I've been the turkey all along! Better for him to die; his existence, if he survived would've been an extremely tortured one, and to make him recant and die would've been an easier way out that dying holding fast to his misguided ideals. That's why I wouldn't go as far as to say it was meaningless, as NightFall did... Kira's death was quite meaningful in the context of who he was and what he had done throughout the story.

-ShadowCell's talk on Kira vs. Sven and evil:
Oh my, quite a lot to talk about when it comes to Evil, understanding it and so on. May your days at school be filled with similar conundrums, and having to explain them to an academically satisfying degree. :mrgreen:


And finally ep50:
-Valentine's self-reflection in the beginning, I refer you back to my earlier comment in ep48 about the ZAFT cause for genocide becoming self-fulfilling; they have to do it because they have to do it.

-Danilov's atonement was handled just right; you don't get to cop out that easily. ;) And guess I was right about the Charlemagne becoming a battering ram.

-My comment about Shinn and Athrun from above? Well played, ShadowCell. :D Loved the scene. Somehow it's just so precious for them to go "yep, we've done all we had to do, let someone else handle the rest", even if it is a bit anticlimactic in the sense that they're still not kicking ass out there.

-A lot of stuff exploding, maybe without giving them the real impact of realizing exactly who/what got toasted. The massive cast and the array of ships bite you in the butt here a little, but this can be corrected with some minor revising to settle the ships and people for the reader once more (e.g. in ep 49). Maybe something you want to consider; it might be clear in your head, but the readers might need a bit of help to keep track. Just a thought. :)

-The Messiah's destruction: make it more of a gradual thing with more debris rather than a huge fireball (in space, no less). It would be more fitting and the image more majestic. Unless, of course, you're saving that for the Goliath. --- Apparently not. The Goliath also went down a little too easily; it made Emily look like he really has superceded every other pilot in the series. If that was your intent, then fair enough. If not, I suggest you add a bit of dodging and weaving before she gets into damaging it. I assume that you've might felt some writer's exhaustion by the time you got to this point, so once you've had a clean break for a week or two about the text, go back to it with these comments in mind and see if they might be useful.

-Copland's speech in the end was quite good; I was really interested to see how you would wrap things up, since that tends to be quite a challenge once the major emotional acts have been played out. I actually read the whole ending fully engrossed, eager to see what happened to whom. And you let Athrun live and to have a relatively happy ending, thanks for that. ;)
"Not bad." He pointed to the Goliath again. "That thing's output dropped precipitously a few minutes ago. Any idea why?"
Emily flinched and more tears threatened to come to her eyes. "Something like that."
Emily's response doesn't make any sense to me here. Revise?

All in all, words fail to capture the massive undertaking you have finished with full honors, ShadowCell. Extremely well done, eight-plus years sunk on a writing project to succesfully complete it is no small feat, and while you might think at some dark hour of the night that was that time really that well spent, it was. You wrote a damn good, consistent and generally entertaining story. Not many people can say the same. :)


Seraphic said:
Oh, I'm seeing the Kira/Himmler parallels, Shadowcell. On top of being irredeemably evil, they've both got their respective rabid yaoi fanbases.
I... er... what? No, not touching that even with a nine-yard stick. :D
-We will not be caught by surprise!
*Almost everyone I've killed uttered similar last words.
-Then I am glad once again that you are on my side.
*They've often said that too.
Rob DS Zeta
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Re: Mobile Suit Gundam SEED ETERNITY

Of course this story ends on the day that I have to work a 10 hour shift! :roll:

Oh my gosh... I remember the day I started reading this. It was in February, I think. I had been eyeing it surreptitiously for a while by that point, and one day I finally cracked and read the prologue.

I was hooked almost immediately.

To see it come to an end here brings sadness to me, but it also gives me joy. Finally, Emily get's her peace. Everyone that deserved it got it (except Kara... the little snot). I'm really glad to see Grey and Erin are happy, because I was super worried that they were going to die at one point.

It seems like only yesterday that Orga, Shani, and Clotho were escaping to Jupiter. That the Megami was holding off the Mephistopheles in Manila. That Shinn was attacking battleships with nothing but the Impulse and its beam saber. That Emily was scoring her first kills in the Twilight...

...and now, we can finally rest knowing that their story is done.

I give Gundam SEED Destiny/Twilight/Eternity... 10 of Lowe Gear's spine-shattering bearhugs out of 10.

ShadowCell, sir... I applaud.
*insert witty eyecatch here*
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Nitramy
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Re: Mobile Suit Gundam SEED ETERNITY

Maybe now the haters are gonna stop hatin', what with the After War ending you managed to pull off.

*does the slowest of slow claps for this 150-and-more-chapters epic* Bravo.
"No, it is not your lack of experience that is your greatest flaw. It is your disdain. Your defeats will not come from those more brilliant than you. They will come from the patient, the plodding, the mediocre." - Shibumi
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Re: Mobile Suit Gundam SEED ETERNITY

Bravo Shadowcell.

I loved ending and the final speech, it's not going to be a easy road ahead. The world came very close too the brink and it's going to be hard to rebuild. I honestly didn't see why everybody had to die like some seemed to be expecting. I like the future you've set up for Athrun, Shinn and most of all Emily. Emily has to be one of the most interesting characters I think I've come across in any fanfic. I think the moment I got hooked on knowing how her story would end was the flashback to her as a little child trying to care for her mother..needless to say there was some dust in my eyes. You've created something really special in this story and if and when you do another story down the road you can bet I'll be reading.

Once again sir thank you for the great ride. *joins Nitramy in the slow claps*
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Re: Mobile Suit Gundam SEED ETERNITY

Alright, This wasn't too bad an ending, its generally a happy one. Its kind of a life goes on kind of ending. Yeah, I do think that this last chapter was lacking in impact and emotional triggers, but considering the rush job you had to pull and the limited space in order to stick within "episode" boundaries, that is something that's really hard to avoid. I extend my congrats to you Shadowcell! Regardless of how I may personally feel about how some things happened in here, there are very few who have ever completed a project as big as this one. I tip my hat off to you.

One thing I HATED though was this line of dialougue.

Shinn blinked again and rubbed his eyes. "And...what about Rau?"

Athrun smiled. "He won't be causing us anymore problems." He glanced over at Shinn. "And Kira...?"

"The same."

Both men looked quietly towards the floor. Shinn slowly laid back down. For so long he had been consumed with the idea of revenge on Kira Yamato, and now that he finally had it, he didn't feel any different than he had before.

I face palmed when I read that. I'm sorry but really? Shinn, you've been fighting in wars for at least a quarter of your life, you're one of the most powerful newtypes in the world, you've have fought several people seeking revenge on you and belittled them about it, you were able to sense everything about Kira when Fllay's ghost helped you kill him, you said in the last chapter nothing can bring people back from the dead, and the icing on the cake... YOU'VE ALREADY HAD VENGEANCE ON KIRA ONCE BEFORE! (anybody remember the battle of Antarctica in the Destiny rewrite?) and you felt no different. All of this and you're only JUST now realizing vengeance is pointless? Man, Kira never catches even a single break in this story, he's completely screwed at every conceivable turn. Another one of the reasons why I was so passionate about him being able to see the light again. Let the guy have at least ONE good thing happen to him. Shinn just dragged Kira's soul out of Hell and spat on it before sending it straight back down.
Antares wrote:Alrighty then.
Ep 49:
-I guess Kira is scraping the bottom of his reasons-why-killing-is-justified barrel since his arguments are getting a little repetitive ("You just don't understand, rrraaaagh!!!").

-Related to this, I can partially understand WindamX's comment about Kira biting it, but then again, you can't make them all massively meaningful. Besides, after Sven's redemption, it would've been a bit cheesy to make Kira "realize" that oh my god, I've been the turkey all along! Better for him to die; his existence, if he survived would've been an extremely tortured one, and to make him recant and die would've been an easier way out that dying holding fast to his misguided ideals. That's why I wouldn't go as far as to say it was meaningless, as NightFall did... Kira's death was quite meaningful in the context of who he was and what he had done throughout the story.
Granted to your point that they can't all have tremendous meaning, but considering that the main trigger to all of this saga's events was Rau turning Kira to darkness, I feel Kira's death does merit a deeper impact. I would love to hear your thoughts however on what ways you think it was meaningful since I really, really can't.

Now as far as how Kira turn back to the light goes, I wouldn't have stormed in here and put forward the issue in the first place if I hadn't put any thoughts into how to carry it out. A cheesy "OMG I've been wrong all this time" method is easier to avoid then you may think, as is the "Redemtion equals death" trope since that is the cowardly way out and is an equivalent to giving up. The answer? To become "good" again in a non-cheesy but believable way Kira does indeed have to live. He must live with the full knowledge of what he has done, and he must dedicate himself to a life of protecting the world, the proper way this time. Kira turns back to the light but has not achieved redemption. How to reach that point? I think I've got at least one pretty good way.

As an afterthought If anything here looks jumbled up or unclear I apologize. In addition to being sleep deprived, i've been awake for the last 24 hours and over 12 of them have been spent working off and on shifts.
Antares
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Re: Mobile Suit Gundam SEED ETERNITY

@WindamX:
By context I mean all he did, all he was and all he had become by that point. The entire Mars -storyarch for one set Kira firmly on this footing; recanting would've robbed him from all the pain he went through to solidify his misguided ideals. The fact that he died without redemption was a solid statement on ShadowCell's part, like he commented earlier, and like I said having Kira recant in the end would've empoverished his character and the choices he had made, not to mention giving us two guys who suddenly see the error of their ways, which in truth happens once in a blue moon. I just don't see redemption in Kira's cards, and that as an element of the plot makes his death worthwhile.

On the point WindamX made about Shinn and Kira, there might be something to that. Shinn had already gotten his revenge (or gotten even?), and he might actually have a small epiphany that maybe he was expecting to feel different now, while he shouldn't have. Also, perhaps vengeance had become an off-hand for "Kira must die" for him, though understandably so. Nothing else would've been enough to even the scales. He might reflect briefly on it, maybe in the epilogue. But the rest that WindamX of Kira in hell and spitting on him was, for me, off the mark. :)

So, what's next ShadowCell? You probably won't be doing any more CE any time soon, but still have an itch to do some more fanfic? :)
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*Almost everyone I've killed uttered similar last words.
-Then I am glad once again that you are on my side.
*They've often said that too.
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ShadowCell
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Re: Mobile Suit Gundam SEED ETERNITY

I don't really see why the only way Kira's death can have "meaning" is if he rights himself somehow. A tragic death is not without meaning itself.
Antares wrote:So, what's next ShadowCell? You probably won't be doing any more CE any time soon, but still have an itch to do some more fanfic? :)
Nothing at the moment. As far as Gundam goes, I have an idea for rewriting 00 cooking, and another less developed idea for UC. But the UC one won't be starting for sure before fall of next year, when Unicorn finishes, and at the moment I don't really want anything to do with Gundam fanfiction.
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Re: Mobile Suit Gundam SEED ETERNITY

ShadowCell wrote:I don't really see why the only way Kira's death can have "meaning" is if he rights himself somehow. A tragic death is not without meaning itself.
Kira doesn't have to turn good to have a tragic or meaningful death. before dying in some way Kira could just as easily turn fully to darkness by for instance learning the truth and doing nothing about it (demonstrating that the last paragraph of the Red Planet Saga was absolute. Kira is lost and beyond redemption because he's too weak willed) or learn the truth, turn on Valentine, take over leadership of ZAFT and still continue on a dark path (demonstrating that Rau was right about him all along.)

To me, the tragedy of Kira's death is how meaningless it was. Kira doesn't die trying to right his wrongs, is not killed for his misguided sins, is not killed for learning the truth and doing nothing about it, He's not even killed for giving up and making a full blown villainous turn. He dies just as he reaches the breaking point of his misguided resolve that's kept him attached to Valentine's darkness, all for the sake of Shinn's meaningless 2nd vengeance. Only then for Shinn to say "you know what, I don't feel any different." which is ironic in of itself since Shinn's need for vengeance on Kira accidentally killing his family at Onogoro is what led to the deaths of his friends the Mad Typhoon gang, and then Shinn finally getting his 1st vengeance for that was the catalyst for Kira becoming completely trapped in Valentine's ultimately unbreakable psychological web of lies and darkness.

We were mere paragraphs, perhaps even sentences from the cumulation of all of Kira's experiences and all of the other character's discussions about him forming the ultimate definition of what his character truly was in this story. were the doubts in himself and his misguided cause strong enough enable his light to come to the surface? Would he be too weak to accept the truth and remain Valentine's puppet, even after undeniable proof? would he go nuts and turn on everything and everyone? Who knows, Kira was in limbo the entire story and ultimately died in limbo leaving so many questions and possibilities unanswered because of Shinn's vengeance. so the pointlessness of it is Kira dies a quarter of the way through a character evolution, Shinn's acquired vengeance doesn't change anything for him, and Valentine loses over half her character significance since she was the apparent obstacle that was keeping Kira chained to darkness and this never once comes into play despite both Athrun and Shinn knowing about it.


@Antares: I see your point now. While I still disagree that Kira seeing the light hurts his character or makes anything he's gone through any less meaningful, The Red Planet Saga does really give that impression of Kira being set on his path. As a matter of fact, I'm thinking that its possible the same reason you believe a return to the light hurts his character is the same reason I believe it brings him full circle. As its been said, we all see stories differently. I could see a Kira turns good scenario starting out by playing almost the same way he turned dark. The difference being instead of Rau appealing to a broken Kira's pain and fury at the loss of Fllay, its Shinn who probes into a broken Kira's greater desire for a peaceful world without fighting after the ghost of Fllay's intervention enables Shinn to either disable the Vega Freedom, or set up the killing shot but not deliver. Shinn decides to do this after feeling the full out pouring of Kira's emotions when he cracks and puts his vengeance on the back burner for a moment to see the true man that he's wanted to kill for so long. If Kira had lived past that last engagement I believe the appearance of Fllay's ghost would have left him to emotionally drained to continue fighting as he was, leaving Shinn to test if Kira truly has it in him to turn from the dark. Its in that broken and drained state that we find out what person Kira truly is without any cohesive thoughts, filters or some masked man egging him on to get in the way. While simultaneously Shinn, having reduced Kira to such a pathetic state gets to take a real look at the vengeance he has spent so many years seeking. Ultimately deciding that destroying this mere shell of a man is not going to change anything.
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Re: Mobile Suit Gundam SEED ETERNITY

WindamX wrote:Kira should have lived!
I have to ask... Why are you arguing this opinion so adamantly?
*insert witty eyecatch here*
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ShadowCell
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Re: Mobile Suit Gundam SEED ETERNITY

I guess I don't see where I was ever moving Kira towards realizing how crazy his beliefs were.

He kind of already knew that he was doing horrible things. He even said so. But he made his choice long ago, when he decided to do things like nuke the Austral Colony and join the gassing operation. If he were really moving towards some definitive choice of where he stood, his arguments and monologues and pep talks to himself would have changed, as they did with Sven.
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Re: Mobile Suit Gundam SEED ETERNITY

@Rob DES Zeta:
Now, now, WindamX is entitled to his opinion. While I'm sure ShadowCell appreciates his loyal fans, I think he is best suited to answer for this. Like he did. :)
All I'm saying if we want new people to join the forum, we (i.e. not the people who actually wrote the story discussed) have to give room for their opinions as well and not discourage them from commenting or contributing. ;)
-We will not be caught by surprise!
*Almost everyone I've killed uttered similar last words.
-Then I am glad once again that you are on my side.
*They've often said that too.
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Re: Mobile Suit Gundam SEED ETERNITY

Rob DS Zeta wrote:
WindamX wrote:Kira should have lived!
I have to ask... Why are you arguing this opinion so adamantly?
First, unless I'm blind (which I may very well be, I've missed this before) I don't think I ever used those exact words. I don't mind you calling me out on my opinion about Kira or the story, but please don't insert a quote If I didn't say it.

@ Shadowcell: You're name is going to appear a few times in the following explanation. if I say or something that is either misguided or wrong in ANY way about how you approached things, please call me out on it. This is all purely 100% personal opinion on how I saw/see things, because I may very well have made opinions on false assumptions.

I had a much longer more winded explanation but I'm gonna forego that unless someone calls me out for elaboration. Though this is still pretty long

there are a number reasons. One, was to get my opinion vented out so that I wouldn't have to be bottling in a passionate disagreement or "complaint", I guess with how Shadowcell carried the final leg of his story. While I will admit right now I am a huge Kira fan, I did not let that get in the way of my opinion.

Secondly was Shadowcell's declaration at the beginning of this project that he was doing this under a challenge to make a story that was better then Gundam SEED Destiny. While what "better" means is up to Shadowcell to translate, But I took that as Shadowcell would have taken this story to the producers of Gundam SEED and said "use this script, its better then what you have." or something of that level if he could. With that said, I put this story as one to be viewed and evaluated on a much more critical level then any other basic fanfiction regardless of how well done.

Thirdly by not redeeming Kira, Shadowcell is ignoring the true character that Kira is at his core. If i'm right about the definition of better plot then Shadowcell sacrificed this freedom, because he has to stick within the believability of the canon characters. Even with he slight changes made in the prologue SEEDS of Shadows, there's no way that its believable for a second that Kira after his "fight to the death" with Athrun could ever turn evil and not turn good again, if for no other reason then " I don't care if its the only way to save the world! I won't kill anymore innocent people!" As the story is right now, basically every character who had doubts about what they were doing was permitted to act on them and join the "good guys." I find it slightly suspicious that Kira is more or less the sole exception to this.

Reason four is plot potential. When Kira died, any chance for the ultimate, climactic, final showdown with the all powerful ZAKU Goliath died with him. Kira's process of becoming a good guy again was the only way to bring out the true suspense of the battle since Valentine's character is directly linked with whatever happens to Kira, and the most appropriate way for her to die is by Kira turning on her. Without Kira there to trigger the events needed to lead up to the battle, and fuel its conclusion... Well you saw the results. With Emily the only active main character left to fight the Golaith, Shadowcell had to give what should have been the most powerful, mighty, unstoppable machine of death the Destroy Gundam treatment. It can take out all the grunt units in the world but throw just one main character in a Gundam at it and the whole thing comes crashing down.

Reason five is did the ones who actually did try to save Kira throw their lives away towards an actual goal or was it a cheap way to kill a character? Kira not redeeming means that Lacus in the first story of the trilogy was wrong in every way about Kira being savable or finding his way back to the right path. Fllay obviously can't rest easy with Kira being evil and supporting the ones who orchestrated her death. Chiao Xu threw his life away for nothing, and all that talk of what Kira saw in the man is never addressed again. Cagalli was of course also killed by Kira and her boyfriend has betrayed her memory by giving up on saving him.

Reason six is the most important, and that's the morale significance. While Kira's death was plot-wise meaningless, morally speaking it did make a statement and not a good one. Lets just say that Shinn and Athrun in their dealings with Kira, are actively proving Rau's points about why humanity is beyond salvation and needs to be exterminated. Kira is held up by Rau as the ultimate symbol of what's wrong with Humanity, by not allowing him to atone we declare that good can't be saved, no matter how morally strong we are once we fall to darkness we can't find the light again, revenge is more important then saving a lost soul, the list goes on. Kira's atonement allows us to shove this back in Rau's face and show the undeniable proof that he was wrong about Humanity. Before someone asks, I do not think Emily misinterpreting Rau's subtle messages makes humanity look morally any better. Because other then that little slip up on his part Rau wins every other meaningful moral victory about Humanity.


Long winded, I really am incapable of explaining anything in a small amount of space, but does it at least answer your question? I've gotten most of what I needed to say out of my system, and with the story finished I don't have anything to really gain or convince anyone of by pushing this any further unless someone asks me to. Again I have no right to come down on Shadowcell for anything on how he writes his stories and what he does with them, nor am I trying to. But this was what I saw as I read this work, and it is all purely opinion.
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