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 Post Posted: Thu Nov 04, 2010 12:24 am 
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Traitor Villain
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hlarghblarghl oh god here we go

So! I recently finished a fanfic, and since I am insane, I am promptly starting work on another one! This is the direct sequel to "SEED TWILIGHT," picking up exactly where the previous story left off. As always, please alert me to any &%$@-ups and I will fix them. You guys are like my super secret super cool focus group.

As a side note, I am using NaNoWriMo this year as an excuse to get a good start on this story. If my calculations are accurate (and they probably aren't because I'm a liberal arts major for a reason), I will get nowhere near finishing this entire story during NaNoWriMo. After all, my DESTINY rewrite and "TWILIGHT" were both around 300,000 words. But fifty thousand words should cover at least the first ten chapters of this thing if my average of six thousand words a chapter holds, and I'd really like to have this whole saga over and done with by the fall of 2011, so I'm shooting for an average of around 2000 words a day. So while I'm sure you don't need my encouragement to do so, please heap opprobrium and scorn upon me if it looks like I'm going to blow it on NaNoWriMo.

Anyways! Here be Phase 01. Let's get this show on the road.


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 Post Posted: Thu Nov 04, 2010 2:29 am 
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OMG!!! Yes I just used a texty thingy for this! I am so surprised you posted this up so SOON! I wasn't expecting this until winter 2011! Well never fear because Soma Taozi is here! To give you her advice and crazy ideas for better or for worse (worse is more likely). Hahahaha! SO lets strap in and enjoy the ride to Eternity! (My god I am full of bad puns!)

Anyway I haven't read the first chapter yet considering it is 1:30 A.M. here in the Midwest...so I will save the rest of this for tomarrow! I look forward to this story and I am sure with some support, lots of energy drinks, and a little luck, we will all get you to your deadline! Oh and hurray for me on being the first person to reply to this thread! I will be seen under you forever! HAHAHA! Oh god that came out wrong!

Ermm, To your health Shadow Cell!

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 Post Posted: Thu Nov 04, 2010 8:49 pm 
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Yeah, I signed up on NaNoWriMo last night. 7000 words down, 43,000 to go.

As I understand it, you really don't even need to have a story. You just need to write something, part of a story, a story, a group of stories, whatever, of at least 50,000 words total in one month. It's just about putting ideas down on paper, or on the screen, as it were. And, although you'll have missed four days, you can still sign up and join. You don't win, like, cash or anything, but you get the satisfaction of having written 50,000 words in one month, and I think if you make it to 50k before November 30th, you can have a paperback copy of your entry printed for you.


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 Post Posted: Fri Nov 05, 2010 9:57 pm 
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Hey, Aoma, long time no read!

Glad you're not losing momentum. A great read as always.

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 Post Posted: Sun Nov 07, 2010 12:11 am 
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Oh, you're doing NaNo too? Awesome. Though I'm not doing it to finish Kismet, I'm doing it to write my own thing. ^^;

I'll check out your chapter soon!

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 Post Posted: Sun Nov 07, 2010 11:38 pm 
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A great first chapter to what is promising to be one EPIC story! Honestly, every chapter is going to be important in this story and I am prepared for a large degree of pure awesomeness! Over all the excitement has completely carried over from Twilight and I would even dare to say that this chapter has added more excitement and something else called: anticipation. I want to read the next chapter, I want to see what is going to happen next, and I really want to see how this story will end! This story also has a Zeta like feel to it. First, you now have about three sides all fighting a war! The resistance (I see it now as essentially a not as effective version of the AEUG), Zeon (Axis...Hamon=Valentine), Phantom Pain (Titans…obviously). This story is so much more than just Zeta Gundam though, because unlike in Zeta we have gotten to know EVERY single one of the characters for about 50 chapters at least or now any deaths at this point will be felt! Also Eternity has much MUCH more going for it and going on than Zeta ever did! I now see why no characters from Red Planet survived…that would have been insnae in dealing with ALL of them.

I think this chapter went really well and I am impressed by the shire epicenes that one could feel in this chapter. However, with the addition of the "Luna Project" Machines...I have to wonder a few things.

One: I take it the ZAFT machine was the Nix Providence, right? So does that mean the Vent Savior Gundam and Gundam Astray Mirage Frame (2nd Frame is much more epic then the first) are going to be making an appearance? Not only that, but what about the Rosso Aegis and Negro Blitz? You mentioned them in Twilight, but nothing more after that. I honestly thought Grey was going to get the Rosso Aegis...but I guess not.


My only concern is with SO much going on and that this is going to be the official end of the series with no more sequels...maybe there is a little TOO much going on for you to wrap everything up nicely. I mean you have so many arcs, character interactions, character side-plots, new machines, a ZAFT invasion, and what about Mars? That is a ZAFT stronghold now! I guess I don’t need to point this out since you are the writer…but still…
I guess your chapters will have to get longer, which wouldn't be a bad thing in my opinion. Well, here's to you Shadow Cell for a great first chapter! I am looking forward to more!

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 Post Posted: Mon Nov 08, 2010 12:03 am 
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This may be subject to later revision, but right now I'm pretty sure I'm not using the Astray Mirage Frame. And that's all I have to say about that.

I know that balance is going to be a potential problem here. The original plan for "Red Planet" was to have Agnes and crew survive the final battle and escape to Earth to continue the fight there; then I realized that it served my character development for Kira better to write things the way they actually went, and that it would add that much more stuff for me to juggle in "ETERNITY," when I've already got three factions and their various slews of characters in the air. Hence, Agnes and friends bit the dust. I'm confident that this all has a proper conclusion, but if this story goes wrong, I suspect it will be a problem of too much stuff going on.


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 Post Posted: Mon Nov 08, 2010 5:25 am 
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Phase 02 up


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 Post Posted: Mon Nov 08, 2010 1:49 pm 
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Noticed a mistake in the latest-

Quote:
Of course, Mudie had lucked out with her nimble, graceful, thruster-laden Artemis Gundam. And they both knew that Shams was the real winner here with his imposing Crusader. Still, Sven would need Shams and Mudie on the battlefield. The Artemis had close combat specialties and the Vanguard had long range firepower. The Crusader could cover both, but it could not be in three places at once.


I assume you meant "Sven" there.

But another good read. :)

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 Post Posted: Mon Nov 08, 2010 10:53 pm 
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Another amazing chapter Shadow Cell! When I thought the excitement level couldn't any higher...you have proved me wrong! Once again there is no mobile suit action and yet that doesn't seem to stop you from building the excitement level more than any mobile suit battle ever could! In fact, I like it when there is no action. It gives us character moments and feelings that are very important in the story. In fact, I think some of the best Gundam Seed and Gundam Seed Destiny episodes (and just Gundam series episodes in general) were when no battles took place. In fact, A Soldier Life from Destiny comes to mind as a really good episode!

Although I must admit that I am REALLY looking forward to the return battle of Kira versus Athrun/Shinn/Emily! My god Kira is screwed if they all start going to town on him! After all, he and Athrun never really had a clear decisive battle in Destiny. Shinn kicked his ass, but only because he got really pissed, and Kira has improved since then. And Emily...well Emily is the best pilot I think out of the four...so does Kira really stand a chance against the Twilight? But then again Kira has experience...and the Strike Freedom, but then who knows?

But now Emily is getting a new machine....WHAT? How could she possibly get any more
powerful? In fact, I don't recall Meyrin sending up any data about Emily to the Terminal. Maybe you should mention that fact in the final chapters of Twilight when you are posting then on fanfiction (unless you already mentioned that in Twilight...and if that is the case...for forget I ever said this). I thought that you weren’t going to give Emily a new machine? I seem to remember you saying that at some point…maybe I am wrong though since my mind is a bit hazy at this moment.

Well in any case, since Emily is getting an upgraded suit...I have to wonder when the Strike Freedom is getting upgraded. Remember in Destiny canon, for some reason (big…wtf...), The Strike Freedom had Wings of Light in the final battle (I think that was because Kira magically got Wings of Light because he became the Main Character again...yay? No!)
But whatever the case, I think it would be very interesting and cool for Kira to get the wings of light in a logical fashion because that would allow him to compete with Shinn, Athrun (does Kira need it?) and Emily....I don't know, just something to even the odds between them.

The next battle is going to be epic and I hope ZAFT has one hell of a plan to fight the Minerva (something tells me they are going to get their asses kicked though and be all surprised about it)

On a few side notes: Yay! Shams realized he had feelings for Mudie! Hurray! Now I am placing bets on who thinks it will end in tragedy! Starting bet that in twenty chapters one or both of them will be dead! Hurray!

And I like how you have added the DSSD into the mix! I guess will a chapter named Stargazer…I shouldn’t be surprised…

I wonder if those three characters from Stargazer will be in it (the guy names escape me right now) You know...the tank commander guy who died in the first episode after taking down a Ginn...the blond haired guy who was Selena's friend and who she forced to eject in the last episode of Stargazer...and of course...Selena...who is one of the most beautiful women ever to grace the Gundam Universe! I know that she is a Coordinator...but still...I really hope that she is in this story! She is my favorite female character in any Gundam series and she was only in it for 3 episodes and had screen time equaling about twenty minutes! I wonder if she and Sven will ever meet! I know I sound like a fan girl ranting about love and all that, but I think the Sven now needs a reality check and Selena could be the one to bring him back over the edge. Of course this is just my personal feelings...

Good chapter Shadow Cell (in case you couldn’t, you got me tell I am really REALLY excited for the next chapter!) and I wait the next with even more anticipation!

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 Post Posted: Thu Nov 11, 2010 2:50 am 
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yeah, I said I wasn't gonna make new mecha for this fanfic, and then it turned out I was wrong. Story elements demanded otherwise. >>

Anyway. Phase 03 is up.


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 Post Posted: Thu Nov 11, 2010 5:51 pm 
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Bit of repetitive use of the eyes flashing in this latest one...

Good action sequences; we've come to expect from you that our heroes need to sweat and occasionally bleed for their kills. Otherwise, good going, and like others still waiting for Kira v. Shinn v. Athrun v. Emily, no matter how huge of a clusterf*ck it'll turn out to be.

However, I do have to say that given how much action you've to work with, you have less time to give for character development. They way you constructed the Minerva's crew in Twilight was beautiful, and I am hoping to see that continue somehow, rather than get buried under positronic beams. :)

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 Post Posted: Thu Nov 11, 2010 6:43 pm 
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Epic battle! I was a little dissapointed that Kira didn't appear yet, but I still enjoyed the battle! In fact, I was proven wrong in the fact that ZAFT didn't get their asses kicked! They fought a good fight and retreated when the plan demanded it. Although Emily kicking that Commander's ass was really cool!

Consider me interested with all these new machines and upgrades that are coming over to the Minerva's crew. Not only will that be sweet to see all the new stuff, but it will give our hero's time off from fighting and will most likely give us readers a few chapters of character develupment, which will be good. Honestly, I am not expecting much in character develupment in Eternity, because a lot people need to die before the worlds becomes peaceful again and there is so much that needs to be accomplished and resolved.

Although, I am really happy to see that several coordinators willl be at DSSD! Here's hoping that at least some of them survive! Selena...

A few side notes: If Zaft didn't have the Volture Limere System...then how the hell do they have Destiny Impulse Units? I always thought that Wings of Light and the Volture Limere were the same? I thought Zaft would want the AI system in the Stargazer? I mean....they built the Desitny after all...so consider me confused. I guess that if they capture the Stargazer...the Strike Freedom would get upgraded...but I am curoius on why it hasn't already? Maybe I am confusing the 2 together...please help!

I know that you have a lot going on in this story, but I hope to see Lowe and Home II appear in this story. After all, ZAFT attacked a Junk Guild ship in chapter one and I imagine they are not happy about that....my god I wonder who will survive this story?! Everything is going to hell really fast! Good chapter Shadow Cell and if you keep this up, you will get past past your posting of Twilight on Fanfiction. That would be awesome!

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 Post Posted: Sun Nov 14, 2010 4:54 am 
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daaaaaaagh Phase 04 is up

Soma Taozi wrote:
A few side notes: If Zaft didn't have the Volture Limere System...then how the hell do they have Destiny Impulse Units? I always thought that Wings of Light and the Volture Limere were the same? I thought Zaft would want the AI system in the Stargazer? I mean....they built the Desitny after all...so consider me confused. I guess that if they capture the Stargazer...the Strike Freedom would get upgraded...but I am curoius on why it hasn't already? Maybe I am confusing the 2 together...please help!


When I worked out the tech details for the Destiny Gundam for that DESTINY rewrite, it was, oh, hell, sometime in 2005 or 2006, I think. Back then, as far as I knew, the beam wing system on the Destiny had nothing to do with the Voiture Lumiere, so that's how I had it. Since then there has been a retcon or two that gives the Strike Freedom the Voiture Lumiere system, but my version of the tech details never changed to accommodate it and I still consider the beam wings and the Voiture Lumiere to be separate pieces of technology. The difference will become clear later.


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 Post Posted: Sun Nov 14, 2010 2:44 pm 
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Oh...bugger.

Nice cliffhanger.

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 Post Posted: Sun Nov 14, 2010 6:28 pm 
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Oh man. you gave it to DSSD harder than Stargazer actually did. It brings me joy to see a "retcon" of sorts, most notably taking out the damn laser satelite that vaped the not-too-bright PP guys in the OVA.

One correction:
Quote:
"I assume you got Troya's signal?" she started. Meyrin nodded.

--> I take it the speaker is Ali, which would make it a "he".

Quote:
"I don't know of anything either," the masked man answered. "Either way, it would behoove us to get to Troya and secure their treasures ourselves."

I want Athrun and Shinn threaten Rau with bodily violence if he ever again uses such language. It fits him, oddly enough, in a way that sets him apart and above the other two, and I think that is intentional. :mrgreen:

And yes, what are cliffhanger. I await eagerly. :)

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 Post Posted: Thu Nov 18, 2010 2:05 pm 
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aaaaaand Phase 05


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 Post Posted: Thu Nov 18, 2010 3:20 pm 
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Youch, I didn't expect them to get schooled so harshly. But I guess they've had it coming with their win streak thus far.

Lotta somersaulting going on in this chapter.

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 Post Posted: Thu Nov 18, 2010 6:08 pm 
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I echo Thundermuffin's sentiments; despite his feat in Red Planet, I hadn't expect Kira to take on eight Gundams and total most of them. Yes, yes, I am a fanboy for the blue-haired one and would've liked to see him in particular put up a stronger performance, so with him, Shinn, Emily and Rau teaming up, I found Kira's prowess just a little too much. Maybe throw in a little in the beginning how they got in each others' way trying to get at Kira first, or have the new-fangled VaROZ appear a little earlier. But that's just me.

Other than that, my only question is where did Aoma and StarOne vanish off to? Or did they perish alongside Troya? If so, that wasn't that evident in Phase 4 (though perhaps implied). I would've expected them to play a part, as fodder if nothing else.

But when it comes to quality of action and writing, I have no issues. ;)

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 Post Posted: Sun Nov 21, 2010 5:48 am 
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The only reason for depicting Kira to be an unstoppable juggernaut in a Mobile Suit is to build him up all the way to the near end...

Spoiler: show
...where he'll finally get what's coming to him.

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