MY FIRST FANFIC!! YAY!!!

Your own tale of two mecha.

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Garuda128
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MY FIRST FANFIC!! YAY!!!

Post by Garuda128 » Mon Mar 15, 2010 12:04 am

OKAY! thanks to ShadowCell for helpin' a n00b(me) out with the posting and stuff! Ok, so, I'm planning a new fanfiction based off the gundam 00 universe during the 4 year time gap in between seasons 1 and 2. Called "Gundam 00: The World They Created", it will follow the two lives of a young gundam meister named Rezel Kaires and an AEU pilot named Alice Salvas. Rezel, who hates the world that Celestial Being attempted to create, is living in a shantytown in western Russia, which is under the "protection" of the AEU. But one day a Katharon force invades the town, causing mass destruction and confusion. Alice, who is in the AEU at the time, fights against Katharon, while Rezel steals a mobile suit and tries to rid the AEU from his homeland.
After the attack, a Celestial Being warship, the XDF-01R Falken, shows up and Rezel is asked to join.

The story will probably play out like almost every other Gundam series ever created, you know, when an innocent kid is swept up in a huge war on accident and he ends up saving the world (i.e. Gundam, 0083, SEED, Zeta, etc.)? But who knows. I'm still planning everything. I do know, however, what Gundam Rezel will pilot when he joins the Falken (btw, I did get the Falken from the ace combat series. I'm afraid of copyright, so I changed the model number. Go on google and look up ADF-01 Falken. It's freakin' beast).

Once everything is cool with the story, I'll post some more stuff about it. Feel free to ask me about the story or any comments here on the thread. Help me out if you can!! :mrgreen:
Amuro Ray: pilot of RX-78-2 Gundam, EFF's first Newtype, and voiced by Brad Swaile
Setsuna f Seiei: pilot of GN-001 Gundam Exia, world's first Pure Innovator, and voiced by Brad Swaile
Both pilot awesome weapons, a first in something and voiced by Brad Swaile. Close resemblence

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Garuda128
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Re: MY FIRST FANFIC!! YAY!!!

Post by Garuda128 » Mon Mar 15, 2010 12:21 am

This is a lock test!
Amuro Ray: pilot of RX-78-2 Gundam, EFF's first Newtype, and voiced by Brad Swaile
Setsuna f Seiei: pilot of GN-001 Gundam Exia, world's first Pure Innovator, and voiced by Brad Swaile
Both pilot awesome weapons, a first in something and voiced by Brad Swaile. Close resemblence

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ShadowCell
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Re: MY FIRST FANFIC!! YAY!!!

Post by ShadowCell » Mon Mar 15, 2010 12:37 am

Um, when I locked the first thread, I told you that we frown upon just posting "ideas." Please post a chapter or the beginning of a chapter or something so that this thread isn't just another "idea."

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Garuda128
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Re: MY FIRST FANFIC!! YAY!!!

Post by Garuda128 » Mon Mar 15, 2010 12:44 am

Oh... that opened some doors. I'm a n00b here and don't know anything about the site, so yeah. I'm not sure if I should post a link or just do it in a post because, like I said, it's still in planning. All I have is the main idea; the characters, the attack, the joining with CB and the mobile suits. I might need some time, so you can lock this if you want to. I'll just make another when I'm done with the first chapter. But, before i go, answer me this; does it sound like a good story?
Amuro Ray: pilot of RX-78-2 Gundam, EFF's first Newtype, and voiced by Brad Swaile
Setsuna f Seiei: pilot of GN-001 Gundam Exia, world's first Pure Innovator, and voiced by Brad Swaile
Both pilot awesome weapons, a first in something and voiced by Brad Swaile. Close resemblence

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ShadowCell
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Re: MY FIRST FANFIC!! YAY!!!

Post by ShadowCell » Mon Mar 15, 2010 12:52 am

You can post it here directly or in a link; it doesn't matter which. And I cannot say whether or not this sounds like a good story if there is, y'know, no story.

Either way, don't start another thread. PM me if you have anything to post and I'll reopen this one. And please read the forum rules before you do anything else.

locked.

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ShadowCell
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Re: MY FIRST FANFIC!! YAY!!!

Post by ShadowCell » Mon Mar 15, 2010 2:31 am

aaaaaaaand unlocked as promised.

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Garuda128
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Re: MY FIRST FANFIC!! YAY!!!

Post by Garuda128 » Mon Mar 15, 2010 2:34 am

Ok! I can finally post my story after a 4 hour legal battle with shadowcell! And Now... The first chapter!!




Chapter 1: Clouds Overhead
Rezel sat and stared out his room’s window at the slight snowfall bestowed upon his humble Russian village. The thick dark clouds secluded the sun, making for a slow and dreary day. Well, at least for Rezel. Even at 16, with a full life ahead of him, he locked himself away in his room for days on end, drawing and reading and playing video games. Why? Not because he has no friends or is grounded. It’s because if he tries to go to the park, he’ll need to pass six AEU checkpoints.
Rezel’s village has been like this for about a year now. Ever since the Celestial Being incidents a year ago, towns like his have been being absorbed by numerous high-ranking factions. They say it’s for the sake of peace, but is the beating of a man who accidentally spilt water on your shoes and offered to clean it up the definition of peace? Is this the world Celestial Being wanted to create?
Rezel sighed. Even with his music’s volume at full blast and earphones on, the shattering sound off live weapons tests a few blocks down. Every now and then he would see a GN-X fly overhead or military trucks pass by on the streets below. Rezel suddenly felt an urge of rage pulse trough his body. He immediately sprang up from his chair and through his headphones at his wall. He came to his senses after that.
Rezel’s mother approached his door and knocked twice. Rezel answered with a weak but audible, “Yeah?”
“Are you OK? I heard a crashing noise,” Rezel’s mother asked.
“Yeah, I’m ok. I just slipped on a sock and fell.”
“Are you hurt? Do you need medical attention? I could call that AEU doctor and-”
“I’m fine!” Rezel snapped. “And even if I was hurt, why the hell would I want an AEU doctor to help me?” An awkward silence fell over the room. A few seconds later, Rezel mustered enough strength to apologize. His mother left hastily after that. Rezel started to cry a little, tried to keep it in, but suddenly broke out into a complete sob. The tension in his life had increased ever since his father, an AEU soldier at the time, lost his life in a battle. Because of that Rezel has despised the AEU and Union, blaming them and their corrupt leaders for his father’s death.
Rezel finally stopped crying after a while. Needing to get some energy out of him, he decided to take a walk despite the AEU checkpoints. He grabbed his mp3 player and headphones, his shoes, his black-stripped white hoodie, and proceeded into the bathroom, where he combed his naturally pale and black hair and brushed his teeth. As he headed for the doorway, he spotted his mother making dinner.
“Mom…,” Rezel hesitantly said as their eyes met. “I’ll be home by dinner, ok?” His mom nodded and smiled. Rezel smiled back. Placing his earmuff-like headphones over his ears and his music blasting, Rezel flew out the doorway. He started jogging briskly down the street. But of course, about two minutes later, an AEU checkpoint would stop him, with guards asking him why he was running. This start and stop would happen every two minutes from then on four more times until he reached the corner store. Then He took a break for a while. It seemed like any other normal day. Or so everyone thought.

Everyone, criteque me please! I want to kno what u think! :mrgreen:
Amuro Ray: pilot of RX-78-2 Gundam, EFF's first Newtype, and voiced by Brad Swaile
Setsuna f Seiei: pilot of GN-001 Gundam Exia, world's first Pure Innovator, and voiced by Brad Swaile
Both pilot awesome weapons, a first in something and voiced by Brad Swaile. Close resemblence

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ShadowCell
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Re: MY FIRST FANFIC!! YAY!!!

Post by ShadowCell » Mon Mar 15, 2010 10:23 pm

um, I know I promised you some feedback, but honestly, this is way too short for me to offer anything useful.

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Garuda128
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Re: MY FIRST FANFIC!! YAY!!!

Post by Garuda128 » Wed Mar 17, 2010 12:11 am

Yeah, like i said, it's a rough draft. It was really to get my post unlocked, sooooo...yeah. But don't worry. I'm probably gonna make it longer(that's what she said) and I'm working on the second chapter which will be WAY longer. But hey, can't a brother for tryin'. C'mon, slap me ten!(at this point you should high five the screen)
Amuro Ray: pilot of RX-78-2 Gundam, EFF's first Newtype, and voiced by Brad Swaile
Setsuna f Seiei: pilot of GN-001 Gundam Exia, world's first Pure Innovator, and voiced by Brad Swaile
Both pilot awesome weapons, a first in something and voiced by Brad Swaile. Close resemblence

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